Customer Reviews for

The Surrendered Wife: A Practical Guide to Finding Intimacy, Passion, and Peace with a Man

Average Rating 3.5
( 61 )
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5 Star

(29)

4 Star

(12)

3 Star

(2)

2 Star

(4)

1 Star

(14)

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Most Helpful Favorable Review

2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

A new and controversial approach to a millenium-old concept.

This is a rather controversial approach in a time when men on television are depicted as bumbling idiots barely capable of crossing the street or constantly playing the role of the antagonist. Overall I liked the book and felt that it gave new light to the age old (a...
This is a rather controversial approach in a time when men on television are depicted as bumbling idiots barely capable of crossing the street or constantly playing the role of the antagonist. Overall I liked the book and felt that it gave new light to the age old (and often misunderstood) biblical principle of submission in marriage. Whether we like it or not, there can only be one head of an organization (marriage, baseball team, etc). Somebody's gotta submit and if you're a Christian, that's the wife. That means the husband is responsible for the health, welfare, and happiness of his wife. That doesn't mean that he's the tyrant screaming 'Where's my chicken pot pie!!' Surrendering, though, is a band-aid in a marriage where the wife is controlling. Controlling women (and men) need a basic course in people skills...Dale Carnegie for instance (Power and Confidence in Dealing with People). So he took the wrong exit on the freeway...big deal!! Turn around!! Is it really worth hurting his feelings over? So he hasn't mowed the lawn in 3 weeks...that is a big deal. Get off your butt and handle your business. So she over-cooked the chicken...big deal. Is it really worth hurting her feelings over? Be grateful that you have a wife that cares enough about you to take the time to cook dinner. If we start prioritizing these issues based on the qualifier 'Is it really worth hurting his/her feelings over?' marriages and relationships will be healed. In first grade, most of us learned to treat people the way we want to be treated. Apparently everyone has forgotten this basic people skill when it comes to their marriage.

posted by Anonymous on January 15, 2001

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Most Helpful Critical Review

4 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

I liked the concept, but she doesn't uphold Christian principles

In my efforts to be more submissive as a wife, my husband bought this book for me. I was appalled that this is supposedly written from a Christian perspective. Mrs. Doyle recommends letting your husband use pornography. She apparently hasn't read Jesus's condemnatio...
In my efforts to be more submissive as a wife, my husband bought this book for me. I was appalled that this is supposedly written from a Christian perspective. Mrs. Doyle recommends letting your husband use pornography. She apparently hasn't read Jesus's condemnation of lust, or seen statistics on the horrors of pornography use, nor read about how pornography use in a marriage harms the intimacy and respect. I would not recommend this book to any woman looking for learning about true submission, which involves submitting to a husband who respects you and is faithful only to you, not entertaining thoughts of other women. Very sickening! I'm throwing the book away.

posted by Anonymous on January 18, 2008

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 15, 2001

    A new and controversial approach to a millenium-old concept.

    This is a rather controversial approach in a time when men on television are depicted as bumbling idiots barely capable of crossing the street or constantly playing the role of the antagonist. Overall I liked the book and felt that it gave new light to the age old (and often misunderstood) biblical principle of submission in marriage. Whether we like it or not, there can only be one head of an organization (marriage, baseball team, etc). Somebody's gotta submit and if you're a Christian, that's the wife. That means the husband is responsible for the health, welfare, and happiness of his wife. That doesn't mean that he's the tyrant screaming 'Where's my chicken pot pie!!' Surrendering, though, is a band-aid in a marriage where the wife is controlling. Controlling women (and men) need a basic course in people skills...Dale Carnegie for instance (Power and Confidence in Dealing with People). So he took the wrong exit on the freeway...big deal!! Turn around!! Is it really worth hurting his feelings over? So he hasn't mowed the lawn in 3 weeks...that is a big deal. Get off your butt and handle your business. So she over-cooked the chicken...big deal. Is it really worth hurting her feelings over? Be grateful that you have a wife that cares enough about you to take the time to cook dinner. If we start prioritizing these issues based on the qualifier 'Is it really worth hurting his/her feelings over?' marriages and relationships will be healed. In first grade, most of us learned to treat people the way we want to be treated. Apparently everyone has forgotten this basic people skill when it comes to their marriage.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted July 19, 2011

    Better Than Any Marriage Counselor

    This is the second copy of "Surrendered Wife" that I've purchased (I lost my original copy). The title is unfortunate because I feel its turned so many women off. Really this book she be called "How To Live With Your Husband." As a stong-minded woman who married and divorced early in life, I had come to the conclusion I just couldn't get along with a live-in husband or boyfriend and all men were just impossible to understand. I married again and luckily stumbled on this book. It was better than marriage counseling (I ought to know) and a lot cheaper. It showed me how to take a good look at myself, my husband, and how to respect each other. It's not, as the title might imply, about giving up your life and becoming your husband's slave. It's an insight into women and men and how we process information, how we perceive each other, and how to maintain your marriage while being true to yourselves. I refer back to it from time to time for reminders, which is why I'm ordering it again. Want a happy relationship? Give this book a try, making your own modifications where needed, and you might be surprised at how much fun marriage can be.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 21, 2007

    worth the read

    i feel that this book is definitely worth the read. stick with it. at first you might think her ideas are out there, but they work.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted September 26, 2005

    practical and enlightening

    This book has helped me in so many ways, i can't even write them all down. Laura hits the nail on the head with issues of trusting your husband (or SO), even to the point of not questioning...it's liberating to let go of your own doubts, and this book encourages that. Way to go, Laura!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 15, 2001

    This book is not about surrendering to your husband but to your need to control!

    I am really enjoying this book because it is helping me see areas in my life that I find the need to 'control.' This book is not simply about having a happier marriage but having happier relationships with everyone--this book is not about submitting to a husband who makes all decisions but empowering those around you to make their own decisions to to allow us 'control freaks' to relax and go with the flow.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 19, 2001

    It's been said before

    For years I have sat in church and heard this message taught to me about the ideal relationship between a man and a woman [1 Peter 3:3-6]. I'm overjoyed that people are finally starting to realise it in the secular world too. This text is well written and the personal experiences help to make it a practical guide to repairing the rifts that modern society has helped to create.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 27, 2001

    We're Not Their Mothers............

    I'm only giving 4 stars because I've only heard her interview on radio while stuck in a traffic jam. My first thought was Oh, please, until a chord struck. I've been 'at' my husband constantly lately to the point that I'm sick of hearing myself AND it dawned on me - I sound like I'm talking to one of the kids! The one thing that absolutely drives me crazy, is when HE tells me how something should be done. Why should he feel any better when I do it to him? It's two adults - not parent/child. It's not submissive, it's respect for each other and our individual ideas. If people spent more time taking care of themselves instead of trying to control everyone around them we'd all be more at peace in our own lives. If just listening to the interview could open my eyes to what I've been doing wrong, 5 stars must be at the end of the book.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 10, 2001

    It doesn't cost anything to give it a chance

    It is my hope that women won¿t be put off by the title and will at least give the book a chance. Although I have yet to read the book, I intend to. I find it interesting that another reviewer compares it to the book ¿Total Woman.¿ I myself read that book at the beginning of my marriage 14 years ago. It was given to me by a recently divorced friend, who had received the book as a wedding gift from her mother-in-law. Upon first reading the book my friend immediately bristled at the idea of submitting to her husband. After a couple of years of misery and a divorce, she picked it up again, but this time it made sense. I am an independent, career-oriented woman, and at first I also disliked the thought of submission, but read the book at my friend¿s insistence. Now I think it was one of the best best wedding gifts I received, since my marriage has outlasted the many of my other friends¿ marriages, and my husband and I have a very close and intimate relationship that I don¿t see in many other marriages these days. I have found that by giving in when we disagree, a win/win compromise is generally the outcome in the end. My husband is very giving and does not take advantage of the situation. In fact, he treats me almost as if I were a goddess, and our relationship grows closer with each passing year. Another bonus is that I have a warm relationship to go home to after a stressful day at work. This type of advice has worked for me.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 10, 2001

    This is what I got out of the book

    I think that people are not understanding this book. It is about letting your husband be a man and yourself be a woman. Not about him controlling the wife. In alot of marriages the woman have taken complete control of EVERYTHING! It is history in complete reverse. I see it in myself. My husband asked me for permission for everything. It used to make me feel secure knowing that everything would be fine because I had made all the decisions, but it really was making me overwhelmed. I was responsible for everything. My actions and his. He was just doing what I told him! I want to change that. I controlled what he wore, what he ate, what he did with his spare time, how he took care of our daughter, and what his dreams were. I didn't do it with a whip, but with a look or a sly comment. I wasn't trying to be like that. I don't want to be like that. It was just what happened over time. I felt like if I had control then nothing could be out of control. I was not aware of the effects of what I was doing until I over heard my husband on the phone with an old friend that he hadn't seen in a while (because I didn't like him). He was talking to him about an idea for a business that they once had planned and he said to the friend 'I can't do it anymore, my wife doesn't like it and she says it is too risky.' I had become the dominating wife and he the subservient husband. How? Why is it o.k. for the wife to be dominating but it is not o.k. for the reverse in societies eyes. I am not going to become a doe-eyed obedient wife. I am going to give up the control. I want to be free of the responsibilities of all decisions and the outcome of those decisions. I want to look at my husband and know he will make the right decision for himself and not be thinking why can't he do anything right just because I would have done it differently. I will have complete control over decision concerning my wellbeing and he his, but we both will have a voice in all other areas of OUR lives together.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 20, 2001

    A better understanding

    After reading the book, and practicing some of the ideas..I also tried it at work IT WORKS.. Some may believe it's like stepping back in time..I don't agree..People (men or women) have the right to respect..Example, I wouldn't want to be nagged at as soon as I walk thru the door..Also, saying thank you for helping isn't a bad thing..Men should also read this book..

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 14, 2001

    Bad Title, Good Ideas

    'Control and intimacy are opposites.' This should be self-evident to any sapient being. Why all the fuss? It's because this book is entitled 'The Surrendered Wife'. Calling it 'The Empowering Spouse' wouldn't have sold as many copies but it would have been a bit more accurate. Progressive corporate managerial theory embraces the idea of Empowerment, why can't modern feminism? Are you people really saying that to be a 'modern woman' you have to be a critical, controlling woman? No? Then try opening your eyes and re-reading because that's the focus of this book. Whether you disagree with some of the finer points or not is your discretion but at least open your mind and get past the knee*jerk reaction to the title. Because, like the author says, the only thing in life you even have a chance of controlling is yourself. Read this book and make up your own mind.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 5, 2009

    No text was provided for this review.

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