Customer Reviews for

Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay: A Step-by-Step Guide to Help You Decide Whether to Stay In or Get Out of Your Relationship

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(39)

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Most Helpful Favorable Review

15 out of 17 people found this review helpful.

Break Free of Ambivalence

Too Good to Leave / Too Bad to Stay spoke to me in a way no other self-help book ever has. Mira Kirshenbaum clearly understands those of us stuck in a cycle of thinking that keeps us confused and that prevents us from acknowledging the truth of our relationships and mak...
Too Good to Leave / Too Bad to Stay spoke to me in a way no other self-help book ever has. Mira Kirshenbaum clearly understands those of us stuck in a cycle of thinking that keeps us confused and that prevents us from acknowledging the truth of our relationships and making a decision in one direction or another. In a gentle, yet frank and straightforward manner, she guides her readers through a series of questions, purposefully designed and ordered, which if answered honestly, can help break the cycle of ambivalence. She anticipates the reactions and emotions ambivalent thinkers might have and the comments they might make which would cause them to focus on less important, or unimportant, details and redirects their thinking away from the cycle of ambivalence. She offers plenty of examples to illustrate and clarify her questions, again directing the reader away from ambivalent thinking. And with each question, once answered, she offers a response to the unasked "But how do I know it's the right decision?" thought by relating the probability of happiness and satisfaction based on the numbers of people who have made the same choice. She never tells her readers what choice to make - only that they should be true to their own feelings and desires and willing to act on the truths that make sense to them. She offers hope for the future. This is, without a doubt, a book written with the purpose of helping those who have been unable to see their way clear to helping themselves, and Mira Kirshenbaum's desire to do that is evident on every page.

posted by 142925 on October 16, 2008

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Most Helpful Critical Review

9 out of 15 people found this review helpful.

Irresponsible

This book contains lots of food for thought, but the objective, empirical presentation is irresponsible, as is the author's failure to hold the reader accountable for his or her own part in the marital discord. By the time most people pick up a book like this one, they ...
This book contains lots of food for thought, but the objective, empirical presentation is irresponsible, as is the author's failure to hold the reader accountable for his or her own part in the marital discord. By the time most people pick up a book like this one, they are so angry and unhappy that it is hard for them to see their own contribution to the problem. That self-focused examination is essential if you don't want to repeat in your next marriage the exact same problems you have in this one. If you want out because you are too hard-headed to see your part in it, then this book will open the door for you to go. There is little discussion of the need for both partners to grow up - if not for themselves and their own happiness, then for the sake of their kids.

posted by Anonymous on August 18, 2004

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Sort by: Showing 21 – 40 of 71 Customer Reviews
Page 2 of 4
  • Anonymous

    Posted October 29, 2002

    LAWYER BOYFRIEND'S CPA GAVE ME THIS BOOK!

    When I found myself torn about staying with or leaving my relationship of 4 years, I was both shocked and validated in my frustration when my lawyer-boyfriend's Accountant and CPA told me to read this book. The CPA told me he had also gave my lawyer-boyfriend's ex-wife (they were married 20 years and divorced)this same book to read because their marriage was so destructive to themselves, their 2 kids, and everyone else around them! It was a living hell 24/7 being around this man, his ex, his kids, his friends, his clients. Thank God his CPA gave me this book!

    1 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 29, 2001

    My Guide For A Relationship.

    Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay is a really good book. I like the idea of putting many different stories about good and bad relationships in a book. Readers can find one of the stories and relate to them. Some readers will make a better decision after they read this book and some might have to end theirs. I'm a teenager, and i think this is a really good value. I haven't experience any kind of 'too good' or 'too bad' relationships, but i would say this is a perfect book for teenagers because it will help us to know what is a right relationship and what is not before we start one.

    1 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 24, 2014

    Appacantie

    Name jason age 16 weponds sword and bow likes to fight hunt and war dislikes sadnees

    0 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 22, 2014

    Nightshade

    Name: Nightshade
    Gender: She-wolf (Female)
    Rank Wanted: Hmm... Honestly, I would like a middle rank to start with.
    Personality: Sassy, fiercely loyal, fair, quick witted. Very protective.
    Weakness: She gets flash backs now and then, which can hinder her fighting.
    Description: Black, gray and white fur with sharp aqua blue eyes. She has medium length fur, and a white snip on her muzzle. She has several scars, all of which have stories.
    Thank you for your consideration.

    0 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 20, 2014

    V

    In or out

    0 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 18, 2014

    application

    Name-butter•|•gender-male•|•weakness-squids•|•rank-none just give me any thing, even thr dung cleaner (but perferably not)•|•other-has butter fur

    0 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 16, 2014

    Aapplicaion

    Name:kiev
    Gender:male
    Traits:cunning agile strong fast smart stealth
    Descrip:one of the last few remaining wolves that man dosent know abouty a black coat warm dark brown eyes scar on left ear and on bottom lip trailing down jaw stoppin 4cms from neck
    Weakness:obullets
    Ranking:wants beta and wants ro lead army and defences signed. KIEV

    0 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 2, 2013

    Beautiful book. Highly recommended. She's great. Have three of h

    Beautiful book. Highly recommended. She's great. Have three of her books on my shelf.

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 12, 2012

    helpful

    This is a practical book. I do wish it had more mention of blended family issues as well as dealing with the impact of chronic disease diagnosis with a spouse.

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 28, 2012

    Starrock

    0 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted December 8, 2011

    Reality Check - very helpful

    This book helped to provide reality check without driving my friends crazy ranting about my relationship issues. Helps to force self reflection about what is truly in the heart and mind and what is explosion of emotions.

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 5, 2011

    Refeshing

    What a not so common, yet common sense approach to evaluating relationships.

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 15, 2011

    To good to put down

    Makes u wonder

    0 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted March 14, 2011

    A Life Preserver When your Drowning in Ambivalence

    This book saved my life over 20 years ago. It stayed in my mind and saved my life again 6 years ago. Now I am reading it again and it only confirms those decisions in the past and is helping me now through dating, how to recognize the "relationship killing" potential problems.
    I am happy I left. I was not willing to waste my life away in unhealthy, unhappy relationships. Both times I spent 4 years agonizing over whether to stay or go, and trying to work it out, including therapy (which Mira highly recommends if you haven't). I gave my relationships everything I had to make them work and I know that there was no staying in them.
    I am amazed at the negative comments I read here. How someone can read this book and miss the point completely is beyond me! It is extremely professional and fair and does every bit as much to help someone stay in a relationship as it does to help someone get out of a relationship. Are these people whose minds are not open enough to see that the person going through the diagnostic process must see themselves in the pages and could completely understand their spouses complaints for the first time? Must be people who see themselves in the pages and cannot face the facts and are appauled that a professional is saying it is probably best to get out, and the experience of others says you'll be happy you did.
    To the person who said that this book almost ended their marriage I ask two questions:
    1. How do you know that this book was not the very catalyst that got you to where you are now? Actually saving your marriage.
    2. Are you 100% sure that your spouse would say the same thing? Or do they really wish they had left, afterall?
    This is the single best book I have ever read on love and relationships. I am in love with this author's style, approach, analogies, case studies, professionalism, and no nonsense "medical diagnosis" breakthrough. This book taught me so much of what is real verses the emotion of love. Its sad that so many are in this position, they were some of the worst days of my life. But this book gives you hope, either way and I think is a life preserver for many who both found love again in their relationship or who found enough love for themselves to have the clarity and strength to move on.
    I own my part of the problems in the relationships. I am in the midst of exploring what makes me choose this type of man and what keeps me from seeing this before its too late.
    I for one, plan to read every book Mira Kirshenbaum has ever written or will ever write. God bless you Mira for the work you have done and how many peoples lives you saved, either way. Thank you for saving mine and continuing to do so!
    Lori Ann Seeman
    Knoxville, TN

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted May 5, 2010

    A must for women looking for insight and help in attempting to see outside themselves for some clarity and direction.

    This book is clear and insightful. You are guided in a logical step by step look at your relationship. The author does not judge or direct; rather, you are given tools to be able to look, perhaps for the first time, objectively at your own situation.

    0 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 18, 2009

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted October 5, 2010

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted June 6, 2011

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted August 2, 2011

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted January 23, 2010

    No text was provided for this review.

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