Customer Reviews for

Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay: A Step-by-Step Guide to Help You Decide Whether to Stay in or Get Out of Your Relationship

Average Rating 4
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  • Posted March 14, 2011

    A Life Preserver When your Drowning in Ambivalence

    This book saved my life over 20 years ago. It stayed in my mind and saved my life again 6 years ago. Now I am reading it again and it only confirms those decisions in the past and is helping me now through dating, how to recognize the "relationship killing" potential problems.
    I am happy I left. I was not willing to waste my life away in unhealthy, unhappy relationships. Both times I spent 4 years agonizing over whether to stay or go, and trying to work it out, including therapy (which Mira highly recommends if you haven't). I gave my relationships everything I had to make them work and I know that there was no staying in them.
    I am amazed at the negative comments I read here. How someone can read this book and miss the point completely is beyond me! It is extremely professional and fair and does every bit as much to help someone stay in a relationship as it does to help someone get out of a relationship. Are these people whose minds are not open enough to see that the person going through the diagnostic process must see themselves in the pages and could completely understand their spouses complaints for the first time? Must be people who see themselves in the pages and cannot face the facts and are appauled that a professional is saying it is probably best to get out, and the experience of others says you'll be happy you did.
    To the person who said that this book almost ended their marriage I ask two questions:
    1. How do you know that this book was not the very catalyst that got you to where you are now? Actually saving your marriage.
    2. Are you 100% sure that your spouse would say the same thing? Or do they really wish they had left, afterall?
    This is the single best book I have ever read on love and relationships. I am in love with this author's style, approach, analogies, case studies, professionalism, and no nonsense "medical diagnosis" breakthrough. This book taught me so much of what is real verses the emotion of love. Its sad that so many are in this position, they were some of the worst days of my life. But this book gives you hope, either way and I think is a life preserver for many who both found love again in their relationship or who found enough love for themselves to have the clarity and strength to move on.
    I own my part of the problems in the relationships. I am in the midst of exploring what makes me choose this type of man and what keeps me from seeing this before its too late.
    I for one, plan to read every book Mira Kirshenbaum has ever written or will ever write. God bless you Mira for the work you have done and how many peoples lives you saved, either way. Thank you for saving mine and continuing to do so!
    Lori Ann Seeman
    Knoxville, TN

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