Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life

Insightful & helpful!

After reading this book, I had a new understanding of why people behave the way they do and how they rationalize. It helps to understand not only parents, but people in our everyday lives. Being a victim of abuse myself, The book helped me towards my next step with tools in hand...Therapy. The tools I still carry today! I had to read one chapter at a time and rest between chapters because what is described could have been written about me, I soon found myself dogearring the pages and writing comments. No longer the victim- this book was my first step towards recovery and I highly recommend it.

4 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

Help for the Helpless

When this was recommended to me, I thought only one parent would fall into the 'toxic' categories. I realized that the other is a factor in what had happened. Unfortunately, my circumstances will not change, but I can now try to work on moving forward for ME.

3 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

Religion in psychological child abuse is missing

As with many other "toxic parent" books, no coverage is given to the issue of strong dogmatic parental religiosity and the "hand off" of the child to an abusive religious educational system (mainstream or cult). The issue of overly religious parents who use dogmatic religious beliefs to give authority to their abuse seems to be a minefield authors avoid. Dr Forward too, hides from mention of this type of psychological abuse. After the adult child of toxic parents confronts those parents, how are they then supposed to confront the angry, over bearing, all powerful god figure who was in league with the parents and may be no more real than Santa Claus or the Boogie Man?

2 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

A reviewer

I applaud the book - I kept reading it thinking 'How does she know my family.' This was the best written book I have found on seeing the bigger picture for toxic family dynamics. I think I would change the title, so it doesn't sound so blaming - for this is a pattern passed on from generation to generation. Reading this book helped me see the patterns in general, guilt, favoritism... which helped me seperate myself from these dynamics. Knowing that there are alot more families like mine-helped me to better understand my parents - and find forgiveness. It is helpful to see that the toxic behavior is about them and not about you.

2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

This is an awesome book!

In a perfect world we all would of had something like Ward & June Cleaver for parents. Unfortunately for many of us we had parents that did things to us that are difficult for us to even talk about. Either they drank all the time, constantly put us down, beat us, or even sexually assaulted us. Traditional info said things like 'spare the rod, spoil the child'. We have come a long way since then, and know better. Mis-information like that only encouraged and justified child beating. Also, you may have been brought up to 'honor your father and mother' with the implication that you dont question anything or ever confront them about anything. There is good reason why Susan Forward's book, Toxic Parents spent some time as #1 on the NY Times bestseller list. She tells you about many people who have come to her for therapy. They came to her due to things like gross neglect, verbal abuse, physical abuse, and sexual assault they received from their parents. Susan shows you how some people have been helped by her after experiences like those. What is especially interesting in this book is Susan's recommendation of confrontation in the healing process. The book is filled with examples of people who have confronted their parents about the years of abuse they had to endure. Susan emphasizes that it is important for those who have suffered from abusive parents to realize that they are not the ones who are guilty for what their parents have done to them. The book isn't intended to replace going to therapy, instead it is meant to educate the reader that therapy can and does work for those who suffered as innocent children by the people who should have been loving, caring and protective to them...their parents!

2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

Toxic.... but why?

In this book Susan Forward focus almost singlemindedly on parents as tyrrants, without taking a deeper look into the family dynamics. Important topics such as the odepial conflict is not mentioned in the book. But the book can be useful in many ways. With this book you need to be careful not to fall too much prey of victim conscoiusness and rage. So, the solution the book offers: confronting your parents, and blaming them for all the bad things they did to you, can be dangerous if done too quickly (after reading the book) or without some understanding about family dynamics. This is a book to be used with wisdom.

1 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

ok

I'm cool, just took a while to get get here, when I first tried to get the book they said 2to3 days it took much longer.

0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

The first self-help I read, and I loved it!

I believe it's a good book, considering the difficult topic. If you feel identified with the questions on the back cover, you probably need to read the book. It's really helpful and I felt liike if Dr. Forward knows me and my situation. HOWEVER, I believe that one must take the book as a good piece of advice which should be thoroughly thought before acting.

This book is a Lifeline!

The information and techniques in this book are life changing! It partners perfectly with my individual counseling and enhances it, giving me the healing and empowerment I've searched for most of my adult life.

The MUST HAVE BOOK if you've had a bad childhood!!!

I have not yet bought a copy of this book for myself because I'm asking for it for my 30th Birthday from my AWESOME In-Laws. But I can already tell that this book is going to make the rest of my life 100 percent easier and better not just for me but also for my kids too, so they don't go through what I did as a child. I STRONGLY recommend this book to anyone that's had a real difficult and/or confusing childhood. Reading this book will make a world of a difference in your life. I promise!!

0 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

Now I know how what happened to me did happen!

This book clarified all the things unsaid in AA, Al-Anon, CoDa and by my expensive psychologist! I wish I had read this in 1961. It is nice that maybe my children and the rest of my family can be spared a lot of pain.

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