Customer Reviews for

Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life

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Most Helpful Favorable Review

8 out of 12 people found this review helpful.

Religion in psychological child abuse is missing

As with many other "toxic parent" books, no coverage is given to the issue of strong dogmatic parental religiosity and the "hand off" of the child to an abusive religious educational system (mainstream or cult). The issue of overly religious parents who use dogmatic rel...
As with many other "toxic parent" books, no coverage is given to the issue of strong dogmatic parental religiosity and the "hand off" of the child to an abusive religious educational system (mainstream or cult). The issue of overly religious parents who use dogmatic religious beliefs to give authority to their abuse seems to be a minefield authors avoid. Dr Forward too, hides from mention of this type of psychological abuse. After the adult child of toxic parents confronts those parents, how are they then supposed to confront the angry, over bearing, all powerful god figure who was in league with the parents and may be no more real than Santa Claus or the Boogie Man?

posted by Alterboy on May 15, 2010

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Most Helpful Critical Review

3 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

Toxic.... but why?

In this book Susan Forward focus almost singlemindedly on parents as tyrrants, without taking a deeper look into the family dynamics. Important topics such as the odepial conflict is not mentioned in the book. But the book can be useful in many ways. With this book y...
In this book Susan Forward focus almost singlemindedly on parents as tyrrants, without taking a deeper look into the family dynamics. Important topics such as the odepial conflict is not mentioned in the book. But the book can be useful in many ways. With this book you need to be careful not to fall too much prey of victim conscoiusness and rage. So, the solution the book offers: confronting your parents, and blaming them for all the bad things they did to you, can be dangerous if done too quickly (after reading the book) or without some understanding about family dynamics. This is a book to be used with wisdom.

posted by Anonymous on May 23, 2005

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 10, 2004

    Insightful & helpful!

    After reading this book, I had a new understanding of why people behave the way they do and how they rationalize. It helps to understand not only parents, but people in our everyday lives. Being a victim of abuse myself, The book helped me towards my next step with tools in hand...Therapy. The tools I still carry today! I had to read one chapter at a time and rest between chapters because what is described could have been written about me, I soon found myself dogearring the pages and writing comments. No longer the victim- this book was my first step towards recovery and I highly recommend it.

    8 out of 8 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted September 15, 2007

    A reviewer

    I applaud the book - I kept reading it thinking 'How does she know my family.' This was the best written book I have found on seeing the bigger picture for toxic family dynamics. I think I would change the title, so it doesn't sound so blaming - for this is a pattern passed on from generation to generation. Reading this book helped me see the patterns in general, guilt, favoritism... which helped me seperate myself from these dynamics. Knowing that there are alot more families like mine-helped me to better understand my parents - and find forgiveness. It is helpful to see that the toxic behavior is about them and not about you.

    6 out of 7 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 18, 2003

    This is an awesome book!

    In a perfect world we all would of had something like Ward & June Cleaver for parents. Unfortunately for many of us we had parents that did things to us that are difficult for us to even talk about. Either they drank all the time, constantly put us down, beat us, or even sexually assaulted us. Traditional info said things like 'spare the rod, spoil the child'. We have come a long way since then, and know better. Mis-information like that only encouraged and justified child beating. Also, you may have been brought up to 'honor your father and mother' with the implication that you dont question anything or ever confront them about anything. There is good reason why Susan Forward's book, Toxic Parents spent some time as #1 on the NY Times bestseller list. She tells you about many people who have come to her for therapy. They came to her due to things like gross neglect, verbal abuse, physical abuse, and sexual assault they received from their parents. Susan shows you how some people have been helped by her after experiences like those. What is especially interesting in this book is Susan's recommendation of confrontation in the healing process. The book is filled with examples of people who have confronted their parents about the years of abuse they had to endure. Susan emphasizes that it is important for those who have suffered from abusive parents to realize that they are not the ones who are guilty for what their parents have done to them. The book isn't intended to replace going to therapy, instead it is meant to educate the reader that therapy can and does work for those who suffered as innocent children by the people who should have been loving, caring and protective to them...their parents!

    5 out of 6 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted January 11, 2013

    verbally abused since six this book has made realize one i am No

    verbally abused since six this book has made realize one i am Not alone and all the steps that i am taking to move on and accept mom for who she is and accept who she will ever be . i highly recomment this book

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted November 17, 2012

    This book gave me insight on others that were abused as children

    This book gave me insight on others that were abused as children. Adults that had no idea, how the abuse in their childhoods affected them in their adult lives. In there careers, relationships, with the raising of their own children, and decision making. Even with the parents being passed away, it showed how they seemed to control the adult.
    After Reading this book, I had a new understanding on how to deal with others in my life. I learned to let people go, that were Toxic and hurt me all the time, that were not willing to change, who would drink and do illicent drugs around me and my children and were abusive, physically and phsychologically towards me and my children (this sadly included immediate family members, such as my siblings). I hoped for years they would change, but they saw nothing wrong with themselves, and blamed and saw everything wrong with me, just like my mother did as I was growing up. I felt the world lift off my shoulders as I began to let this go and start the steps to healing while teaching myself and my children to have healthy relationships. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND THIS BOOK..AND HAVE TOLD MANY OTHERS ABOUT IT..I AM NO LONGER A VICITM..I AM A SURVIVOR..I AM WRITING A BOOK MYSELF NOW ABOUT MY CHILDHOOD, SO THAT OTHERS CAN OVER COME AND CONQUER THEIR DEMONS AS WELL!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 12, 2005

    The MUST HAVE BOOK if you've had a bad childhood!!!

    I have not yet bought a copy of this book for myself because I'm asking for it for my 30th Birthday from my AWESOME In-Laws. But I can already tell that this book is going to make the rest of my life 100 percent easier and better not just for me but also for my kids too, so they don't go through what I did as a child. I STRONGLY recommend this book to anyone that's had a real difficult and/or confusing childhood. Reading this book will make a world of a difference in your life. I promise!!

    1 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 23, 2001

    Now I know how what happened to me did happen!

    This book clarified all the things unsaid in AA, Al-Anon, CoDa and by my expensive psychologist! I wish I had read this in 1961. It is nice that maybe my children and the rest of my family can be spared a lot of pain.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 22, 2013

    This book changed my life. It was one of the most healing books

    This book changed my life. It was one of the most healing books I have ever read. My former therapist recommended this to me while I was in counseling. This book spoke to me and I followed its recommendations. It was incredibly healing. I wholeheartedly recommend this book.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 15, 2013

    Thank You for allowing the "world" to see into a perfe

    Thank You for allowing the "world" to see into a perfect world where just because one wasn't spanked or abused in the conventional ways and should be grateful for the wonderful life they were given somehow the damage has led them down a path of destruction. This book is a catalyst for those of us born into a wealthy southern family, wanted for nothing, yet somehow we are broken because we were the one's that hid our mother's secrets from the world like good southern women do, and then we hid ours also. We take on the role of protector, confidante, best friend, at an early age, and then find ourselves in relationships we have no business being in and being blamed for our stupidity...."How could we throw our wonderful lives away like that?" Now we watch our daughters follow suit because of our low self esteem and the saga continues from the "The Stepford 50's Syndrome" So thank you, and I hope knowledge is power....eventually...
    Yours Truly, Stepford

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 5, 2013

    HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

    I NEVER SHOULD HAVE WAITED THIS LONG TO READ AND HEED. THERE ARE SO MANY PORTIONS THAT HIT "H O M E". I AM READING IT AGAIN AND ALSO SENDING COPIES TO MY SIBLINGS .....

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 17, 2009

    I Also Recommend:

    This book is a Lifeline!

    The information and techniques in this book are life changing! It partners perfectly with my individual counseling and enhances it, giving me the healing and empowerment I've searched for most of my adult life.

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    Posted January 7, 2012

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    Posted September 12, 2009

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    Posted December 30, 2008

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    Posted July 28, 2011

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    Posted January 31, 2011

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