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Posted November 22, 2009
Jane Austen is turning in her grave...
When I first heard about "The Trials of the Honorable F. Darcy" (I also read the "teaser" pages on B&N.com), I thought that this book would be better than all those other P&P knock-offs. You know, the ones where Mr. Darcy is protrayed as a Fabio-type character who sweeps in to rescue the helpless Elizabeth Bennet and then they make hot, passionate and overly-graphic love like bunnies? As it turns out, though, this isn't all that different from those pathetic excuses for novels.
I don't know what compelled Sourcebooks to publish this trash, but I wish they wouldn't have disguised it as a "good" novel in the process. It's not a novel, really - one with character growth, plot, humor, etc. - but something a teenager, with all their raging hormones, would have written. The story moved slowly after their infamous transition from hate to love, as the author was obviously too busy thinking up ALL the possible sexual positions Mr. Darcy and Miss Bennet could engage in without hurting themselves. Ninety-three pages were wasted on their raunchy love-making, followed by another 26 pages of sex and then, quite suddenly, they had a baby. What a surprise! The sad part? I'm only slightly exaggerating here. Basically, that's IT with the story. There were a few silly and poorly-written situations of jealousy and angst in between - including what has to be the dumbest Halloween party ever where Darcy didn't say a single word to Lizzy - but you got the feeling that the author just couldn't wait to write another sex scene. The rest of the situations were just fillers, and thus completely laughable in their probability. Both characters promised each other somewhere in the book that their relationship was NOT just about sex, but we the readers had to take it on good faith that they were telling the truth since the author decided that life outside of the bedroom was just not important enough to write about. We barely read about them in daily life - that is, just being with each other without ripping their clothes off two minutes into it.
And the fact that Ms. Angelini turned good, sweet, innocent Jane Bennet into a sex kitten seriously bothers me. I mean, really? Did you have to go for her? Why not Lydia, the shameless flirt? Or even Kitty, her sidekick, for that matter!
Also, it mostly focuses on Elizabeth Bennet even though you're led to believe that the book is about Darcy's troubles - not hers.
All in all, I'm seriously upset about this stupid book and the money I wasted on it. I hope the author realizes that people want substance; good books with a good storyline and even better characters, not total crap disguised as something meaningful. I'm a 23-year-old woman who is unsurprisingly in love with Mr. Darcy, so if the author thought this would make the younger generation happy, then she was obviously VERY wrong. I am not that kind of girl, thanks. Everytime another sex scene popped up, I rolled my eyes, threw the book across the room and then vented to my boyfriend about how I had been duped. On the first night after I purchased the book, I was already wondering if I could return it for a full refund. Unfortunately, I don't think that's possible.
So my advice is this: save your money, people. There are plenty of good books out there where the author actually put some EFFORT and SINCERITY into it - something I don't think Ms. Angelini knows anything about.
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Posted November 15, 2009
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Posted August 7, 2011
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