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Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew

Average Rating 4
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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 15, 2010

    rediculous!

    All these reviews are written by aoptive parents, well im an adoptide child! My mother read this and there for felt very knowledgable about the feelings of adoptive children. WELL IF YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW A CHILD FEELS ABOUT THERE ADOPTION TRY GIVING THEM FREEDOM TO SAY HOW THEY REALLY FEEL! to me this book makes adopted children sound soooo messed up when really many of us arent! I DO NOT RECOMEND THIS BOOK because every child deals with adoption so differntly! Each case is extremely differnt and there is no way to say "Oh this is how your child feels about you, their birth parents, and their adoption."

    3 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 8, 2005

    One of the best adoption resources for adoptive parents

    We frequently refer to this book for help in knowing how to better understand the needs of our precious adopted daughter. It combines third-party anecdotes with research and personal experience to make a powerful presentation. Every prospective and adoptive parent should read this book to understand the inevitable and undeniable losses experienced by the adopted child at relinquishment; and how to help their child navigate the challenges that loss brings, at each step during their lives.

    3 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted October 24, 2010

    Do not read this book

    This book was the most depressing and damaging book I have read about adoption. Though some of the concepts may apply to some adopted children it is quite dangerous to generalize that all adopted children will be this damaged. It is so negative and there is very little hope or positivity expressed.

    2 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 27, 2004

    THIS BOOK ROCKS !!!!!!!!!!!!

    I'm a direct care counselor at a group home here in Boston and a youth worker/child care advocate. This book is written with so much love ans compassion. I myself am not adopted, but I have found this book helpful in regards to my own child hood issues that I'm working through as well as the kids at my job. I've found more love and understanding for my work...

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 27, 2004

    A MUST READ!!

    My husband & I adopted our daughter 7 years ago when she was 4. I received this book from a friend who had adopted twins. I read this book when I was on a plane going cross country. As I completed it I could not help but cry. The stewardess asked me what was wrong & I looked up and said 'not a thing . everything is all right now'. I was so excited and relieved. I knew that my husband I I were not crazy nor was my daughter crazy. It changed my life and affirmed so many things that I knew and opened up heart & mind to so many new ideas. Ms. Eldrige has done a marvelous job for us--adoptive parents. I do social work & theatrical ministry addressing social issues such as adoption. I refer this book to everyone I know who has adopted a child. Thank you Ms. Eldridge for your insight!!!

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted September 2, 2011

    Eye opening for those not adopted

    Though this book is somewhat negative, it was eye opening to the POTENTIAL issues an adopted child may experience. I was not left with the impression that all adopted children are damaged but it sure gives me food for though should my adopted child have an off day. We do need to be sensitive to their feelings. The best thing I took away from this book is to respect their privacy & sometimes conflicting feelings, should they have them. And always let them know there is no topic off limits if it's important to them!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 13, 2001

    A Must Read For Adoptive Parents

    I am an adoptions social worker at a private agency and was very impressed with this book. Not only is it written by an adoptee, it is divided into chapters that address specific questions that all adoptive parents have. It also has practical interventions parents can use at the end of each chapter. The book is reader friendly and not 'textbooky' or 'wordy' like many other books I have read on adoption. Our agency recommends this book to parents and has recently added it to our recommended reading list. This book is a 'must read' for all adoptive and prospective adoptive parents.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted February 16, 2013

    Adoption Simplified In Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Ad

    Adoption Simplified
    In Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adopted Parents Knew, Sherrie Eldridge explains the mixed feelings adopted kids feel after their adoption. Eldridge explains the conflict of interest of being adopted from the parent and child view. Her personal experiences and knowledge of adoption helps parents understand what support and knowledge their children should know.
    A major theme and message that Eldridge tries to explain is that all adopted children have gone through a significant loss. They are in the grieving state whether you, as the parent, know or not. From the beginning a child recognizes the difference from their biological parents to their now adoptive parents. She explains that this feeling of abandonment, fear, and shame can effect later life decisions; such as relationships. Eldridge throughout the books uses her own adoptive situation as examples to show other parents the signs they may not see. There is a battle to be fought between the realization of adoption and all the glitz and glamor that people observe. Do people understand that not all people want it to be pointed out that they are “different”, that they should be grateful that they were brought to this country? Any adopted kids could answer this question easily, it’s a question they have been answering their entire life. Yes, I am different but it makes me unique, and yes I am eternally grateful that I was able to come to this country, but I wish that I knew what life was like where I am from.
    I enjoyed reading this book because it was relatable. Her tactics on how parents should “attack” talking about adoption were similar to how I was raised. Eldridge has good voice when going in depth about her life experiences. She also uses good conventions when comparing one thing to another. I did not like the wide generalization that she assumes all adopted kids feel the same way. Every kid takes adoption in different circumstances. Not every kid wants to know about their biological family, and they may not even want to express the feelings they have inside. Adoption hits every child and parent in its own unique way.
    This book gives the basic insight behind some adoptive kid’s feelings, but not all. I would recommend this book for parents who do not know how to handle how to talk or tell their child about adoption; Eldridge does a great job of how to handle that. I do not have any recommendations for other books to read by Eldridge. Overall I gave this book 3 out of 5 stars because it has good information but does not in the end have information applying to all adoptions.

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 24, 2012

    Did not like this book

    My husband is adopted so we felt comfortable adopting reading this book makes you feel all adopted children will have issues..... I think all of us have issues and not all adopted children feel rejected nor do they have trouble bonding nomore then a homegrown child. In my opinion if you read this book use your own judgement un using it. We have 3 children all of them adopted!

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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    Posted January 21, 2011

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