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Posted June 25, 2010
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A Must-Read for Parents and Caregivers of Boys Ages 3-9
"Your Problem is Spelled B-O-Y." Can you relate? Then you definitely want to read this book. Dr. Rao's approach is different than what you may hear or read about in other books. If a boy is behind in social skills or seems to be having trouble in school, the popular approach has been to diagnose the boy with ADHD or ADD and medicate him. While Dr. Rao does say that medication could help some boys, he strongly advises taking an alternate approach by taking steps to help the boy change his behavior: Provide "clear rules and boundries; consequences before lectures; (and) rewards for each milestone." The reason, Dr. Rao says, is that boys develop differently than girls - they often times are slower to develop language skills and often have difficulties controlling impulses. This is perfectly normal and does not mean that a boy has some disorder that requires medication.
Dr. Rao covers many scenerios that one may encounter with a boy: "He Doesn't Have Any Friends," "He's a Bully," "He Won't Sit Still," "He Runs the Household," "He Has to Win or Else," "He Hates School," to name a few. In each scenario, Dr. Rao gives case examples of boys he has worked with, and what he and the parents did to help improve the boys' behavior. He offers excellent suggestions for coping with challenges and staying positive through the process.
Dr. Rao also covers topics of what to do if "The Teacher Thinks He Needs Testing, " or if "He Has Already Been Labeled." For parents who are experiencing difficulties with their son in school, these chapters are invaluable. At the end of the book Dr. Rao offers hope to parents who have challenges with the young boys in their lives. In the chapter, "What Will He Be Like as a Grown Man?" Dr. Rao interviews young men who were once his patients. These men have grown into responsible, successful adults. They recount their days as rambunctious four-year-olds and their appreciation for the guidance they received from Dr. Rao and their parents.
As a mother of a five-year-old boy, I agree whole-heartedly that boys are challenged by today's faster pace. They are expected "to sit, listen, and use social skills that won't be fully up and running until they reach the second grade." It is encouraging to know that this is normal and that with loving guidance, a boy can grow up to be a socially responsible, successful man.
Thank you Dr. Rao fo sharing your invaluable insights. I highly recommend this book and will be adding it to my list of favorite parenting books. Comment | Permalink
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