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When the Hurt Runs Deep: Healing and Hope for Life's Desperate Moments

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Most Helpful Favorable Review

5 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

I needed this book ten years ago

Several years ago, my family went through a very dark and trying time of betrayal and pain. Our hurt was so deep that we could not see an end to it. Instead, we just tried to get through one day at a time while we asked God "Why?" So when I saw this new book by Kay Arth...
Several years ago, my family went through a very dark and trying time of betrayal and pain. Our hurt was so deep that we could not see an end to it. Instead, we just tried to get through one day at a time while we asked God "Why?" So when I saw this new book by Kay Arthur I was very eager to read her thoughts on this subject. I was not disappointed. By looking at the lives of Job and Joseph, we are able to see that other people have been where we are and that God does have a plan for our lives even in the midst of deep pain. The chapter on suicide is one that really stood out to me, addressing how a family can cope with this most horrible of circumstances. Also, the chapter on pulling the plug on our pain and letting it go is very helpful. That is something that I had to deal with personally. Even though it has been several years since I experienced my own time of deep hurt, I got a lot out of this book. In the book, Kay lays out twelve healing truths and expounds on each one: 1. If God has allowed pain in our lives, He has allowed it for a purpose-a good purpose, because he is a good God. 2. Deep and genuine healing will always be tied to an accurate knowledge of God's sovereignty and character. The clearer our understanding of who God is, the more profound our healing will be. 3. Because God is love, and because God rules over all, everything that comes into our lives is filtered through His sovereign fingers of love. 4. Because God is all-knowing, He know the very source of our deepest pain-and He understands exactly how to touch it, heal it, and use it to bring about your highest good. 5. No hurt is so strong that it can separate you from His love. Your hurt is not intended to drive you from God but to God. 6. Nothing that has ever happened to you has escaped God's notice. You can trust that he will bring to account everyone who has hurt you in His time and in His way. 7. Deep hurt can happen to upright, blameless people; it is not always deserved or earned. 8. When we sin, we will find ourselves facing the consequences. But when we submit to God in repentance and seek His help, we can get through those consequences and step onto the path to hope and healing. 9. Wherever you are, whoever you are, whatever you have done, there is hope because there is God. He is a God of hope; redemption is His business. 10. God's grace is brought to fullness in our lives as we release our hurt and draw on His power in our weakness. 11. Deep, exhausting, unrelenting hurt can bring you to the end of yourself-to complete and total dependence on God-which is the best place you could ever be. 12. Whether your hurts have been caused by someone else's actions or by your own sins and failure, healing begins at the cross-the greatest expression of God's love for you. As she goes on to reveal these truths to us, Kay reminds us that we will have trials but we will not go through them alone. God loves us and He has a plan. We must learn to put our complete trust and faith in Him and let Him be God. Anyone who is hurting for whatever reason needs to read this book. Kay knows what she is talking about and she does not give pat answers to the soul that is hurting. Instead she leads you, step by step, through God's word to see what He has to say about your pain. I definitely recommend this book for your own personal library. I also recommend that you get extra copies. You will want to share them with

posted by leftyjewel on July 6, 2011

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Most Helpful Critical Review

1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

Read if you are ready to move forward with healing from hurt

Kay Aurthur is a well respected author with many biblically sound books under her belt. This book is about life's deep hurts, pain, and suffering, and how to work through these life changing events with God and a sound knowledge of his character and the Bible and why He...
Kay Aurthur is a well respected author with many biblically sound books under her belt. This book is about life's deep hurts, pain, and suffering, and how to work through these life changing events with God and a sound knowledge of his character and the Bible and why He allows these things to happen in our lives. Kay uses her life experiences, along with numerous examples from other people's lives to show that everyone at some point will experience a deep hurt (in which she explains that God uses these experiences for good and growth). Each chapeter in the book is rooted in God's word and each topic is thouroughly studied along with scripture. Chapters such as "It wasn't supposed to be that way", "God's answer to our "why"?" and "Will the hurt every go away?" touch on every subject related to pain and suffering. I don't think I would give this to someone who has JUST experieced trauma or a deep hurt because it seems more geared toward someone who is ready and on the path to process the painful experience and move forward toward healing. This book had some great points and was a good book, although a seasoned Christian may find it a little repetetive and may not benefit as much as a newer unseasoned Christian. This book also has a study guide in the back for leading a bible study centered around the book, which would be a fantastic tool for a small group leader. I received this book from the publisher. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255 : "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."

posted by ChristianMomBookReview on July 21, 2011

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  • Posted July 6, 2011

    I needed this book ten years ago

    Several years ago, my family went through a very dark and trying time of betrayal and pain. Our hurt was so deep that we could not see an end to it. Instead, we just tried to get through one day at a time while we asked God "Why?" So when I saw this new book by Kay Arthur I was very eager to read her thoughts on this subject. I was not disappointed. By looking at the lives of Job and Joseph, we are able to see that other people have been where we are and that God does have a plan for our lives even in the midst of deep pain. The chapter on suicide is one that really stood out to me, addressing how a family can cope with this most horrible of circumstances. Also, the chapter on pulling the plug on our pain and letting it go is very helpful. That is something that I had to deal with personally. Even though it has been several years since I experienced my own time of deep hurt, I got a lot out of this book. In the book, Kay lays out twelve healing truths and expounds on each one: 1. If God has allowed pain in our lives, He has allowed it for a purpose-a good purpose, because he is a good God. 2. Deep and genuine healing will always be tied to an accurate knowledge of God's sovereignty and character. The clearer our understanding of who God is, the more profound our healing will be. 3. Because God is love, and because God rules over all, everything that comes into our lives is filtered through His sovereign fingers of love. 4. Because God is all-knowing, He know the very source of our deepest pain-and He understands exactly how to touch it, heal it, and use it to bring about your highest good. 5. No hurt is so strong that it can separate you from His love. Your hurt is not intended to drive you from God but to God. 6. Nothing that has ever happened to you has escaped God's notice. You can trust that he will bring to account everyone who has hurt you in His time and in His way. 7. Deep hurt can happen to upright, blameless people; it is not always deserved or earned. 8. When we sin, we will find ourselves facing the consequences. But when we submit to God in repentance and seek His help, we can get through those consequences and step onto the path to hope and healing. 9. Wherever you are, whoever you are, whatever you have done, there is hope because there is God. He is a God of hope; redemption is His business. 10. God's grace is brought to fullness in our lives as we release our hurt and draw on His power in our weakness. 11. Deep, exhausting, unrelenting hurt can bring you to the end of yourself-to complete and total dependence on God-which is the best place you could ever be. 12. Whether your hurts have been caused by someone else's actions or by your own sins and failure, healing begins at the cross-the greatest expression of God's love for you. As she goes on to reveal these truths to us, Kay reminds us that we will have trials but we will not go through them alone. God loves us and He has a plan. We must learn to put our complete trust and faith in Him and let Him be God. Anyone who is hurting for whatever reason needs to read this book. Kay knows what she is talking about and she does not give pat answers to the soul that is hurting. Instead she leads you, step by step, through God's word to see what He has to say about your pain. I definitely recommend this book for your own personal library. I also recommend that you get extra copies. You will want to share them with

    5 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted July 6, 2011

    A must read!

    I recently had the chance to review a copy of Kay Authur's book When the Hurt Runs Deep through "Blogging for Books" and WaterBrook Multnomah Publishers, who gives readers free copies of books in return for an honest review on their blog, whether good or bad.

    I got this book, honestly, because it felt like one of those necessary books that everyone needs to have, read, and meditate on. All of us will face loss, through the literal death of someone we love, or through the loss of a job, family, dream, etc.... and every one of us can benefit from knowing how to take those overwhelming loses, give them back to God, and learn to react in a way that is both God honoring and beneficial to ourselves. The most important I saw in this book is that God wants us not to hurt. He desires our wholeness, but knows apart from Himself, it can't happen. Kay Auther, whom I loved long before this book was in my hands has such a way with expressing herself and getting out exactly what needs to be said at the perfect time, and doing so in such a way that you understand it completely.

    She gives you tangible, practical, step-by-step guidance on how to react and learn from some of lives hardest hitting blows. Maybe you were raised not knowing that it's OK to feel anger after experiencing a loss- but it is! She also mentions things like, not being alone more than you have to, not reliving what happened needlessly, playing worship music, making your house as bright as possible, etc... things we know in our heads are probably a good thing, but make more sense when their written down in by someone in list form.



    Every part of this book was good, but I have to say, by far, the most meaningful to me was the section of suicide. I have never, ever read anything about how a Christian is suppose to react after someone they know or love choosing to end their own life- and have actually been confused about it in the past. She answered a lot of questions that I had.

    And, immediately, she even goes on to write in detail about how to overcome the guilt and other feelings that come with loss through abortion... also very eyeopening.


    Like I said, this is one of those books that everyone needs to read- and it would also be, I assume, a wonderful gift for someone experiencing loss.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted March 2, 2012

    more from this reviewer

    Reviewed by Joy H. for Readers Favorite Why is this happening t

    Reviewed by Joy H. for Readers Favorite

    Why is this happening to me? What did I do to deserve this? How can God actually let this happen to me? Will the pain ever go away? Have you ever asked yourself these questions? I know I have done so many times during my life. Kay Arthur answers these questions and many more in her book "When the Hurt Runs Deep." Just a few chapters for a teaser are: It Wasn't Supposed to Be This Way; You Don't Suffer Along; and Is There Purpose in Your Pain and A Time for Anger? You will be amazed at the awesome information in this book on pain and hurt.

    One thing I appreciate about Kay Authur's books is that she lets her readers know that she is not exempt from the deep hurt she teaches others about. In this book, Kay very honestly tells of her devastating divorce, leaving her with two small boys and wanting desperately for someone to love her unconditionally. She allows the reader to see her pain, the way she feels about God at the time, and the mistakes she made in trying to find that unconditional love. Knowing that the author has faced the things she teaches about makes the study more enjoyable and believable. She has been where you are now, and can help you get through your difficult time through her books and studies. I have been through many of Kay Authur's books and studies in small groups and Sunday school classes and they are awesome. I look forward to using this book in a study as well.

    I highly recommend this book for your individual Bible study or studies for small groups or Sunday school classes. I assure you, Kay Authur is one you will grow to love, respect and adore, if you don't already!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted July 21, 2011

    Read if you are ready to move forward with healing from hurt

    Kay Aurthur is a well respected author with many biblically sound books under her belt. This book is about life's deep hurts, pain, and suffering, and how to work through these life changing events with God and a sound knowledge of his character and the Bible and why He allows these things to happen in our lives. Kay uses her life experiences, along with numerous examples from other people's lives to show that everyone at some point will experience a deep hurt (in which she explains that God uses these experiences for good and growth). Each chapeter in the book is rooted in God's word and each topic is thouroughly studied along with scripture. Chapters such as "It wasn't supposed to be that way", "God's answer to our "why"?" and "Will the hurt every go away?" touch on every subject related to pain and suffering. I don't think I would give this to someone who has JUST experieced trauma or a deep hurt because it seems more geared toward someone who is ready and on the path to process the painful experience and move forward toward healing. This book had some great points and was a good book, although a seasoned Christian may find it a little repetetive and may not benefit as much as a newer unseasoned Christian. This book also has a study guide in the back for leading a bible study centered around the book, which would be a fantastic tool for a small group leader. I received this book from the publisher. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255 : "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted January 23, 2011

    more from this reviewer

    I Also Recommend:

    EXCELLENT book for everyone including the Sandwich Generation on the topic of dealing with pain and suffering in your life.

    Christian author, Kay Arthur, takes a solid look at pain and suffering and how God would have us deal with it. She includes in-depth studies into the lives of several Bible leaders including Job and Joseph. This book was such an encouragement to me and is now full of my underlinings, bookmarks, comments, and even short prayers I wrote as I was reading it.

    It's definitely one of the best books I've read on this topic, including answering the question, "why does God allow suffering," and one I will be recommending highly to others, including you! It's definitely an excellent resource for all of us in the Sandwich Generation whose family either is, or will be, going through trials of all kinds, as well as deep sorrow - including the grief of hospice or hospitalization, followed by death.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted September 25, 2010

    I Also Recommend:

    This Is A Book For Those In Need!

    I'd also like to recommend "When God Stopped Keeping Score" by R.A. Clark. It's revealing look at the power of forgiveness. If you ever felt trapped by anger, guilt, resentment and/or pain, then this book is for you.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted February 19, 2012

    more from this reviewer

    Trust in God

    Into every life some rain must fall, and we all will have or have already experienced pain. I found that Kay Arthur has had her share of storms too. This makes her capable to advising how to cope. Using the Bible, Arthur talks about a variety of hurts.

    I especially found her discussion of suicide quite informative when helping loved ones cope with the deep hurt of this loss.

    A Study Guide and Meditation Journal are included.

    Thank you to Laura Tucker at WaterBrook Press for my copy.

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  • Posted March 17, 2011

    Not helpful - don't bother

    I picked this book up with great hope, both because I wanted it to speak to some personal situations and also because I had a friend I thought about loaning it to because she has suffered a deep hurt. It started out well, with the author sharing some of her personal story at the beginning, but after the first chapter, I began to feel as though I was being bludgeoned with a sermon rather than being offered practical help in dealing with deep hurts. It is obvious that Ms. Arthur's theology and mine have taken divergent paths. Her focus is on complete submission to the will of God-which it is possible to find in the Bible, a book she sees as inerrant and basically dictated by God. I find that perspective to be less than helpful and, in some situations, having the potential to be harmful to both the physical, emotional, and spiritual health of individuals. She does acknowledge that there may be times when someone needs to leave an abusive situation, but that awareness is only lightly touched on. Her primary focus is on staying in difficult situations, trusting in God to heal them. There is little mention of the help that counselors can give in dealing with deep hurts. In fact, the occasional times they were mentioned, it was to indicate that specific counselors in specific situations hadn't even opened a Bible during the counseling process. While I believe that the Bible can provide comfort and help, I think that depending on the Bible to find answers is a misuse of the scriptures. As I read, I felt that each chapter basically said the same thing: (1) You may find yourself in a difficult situation where you have been hurt deeply. (2) God can heal that situation if you trust in God. (3) You can find God's answers in the Bible, the actual words of God. (4) Submission to God's will is the answer. There were occasional nuggets of insight and information that I found helpful, but I did not find them worth wading through what I felt was an aggressive sermon that blamed all the world's ills on an innate human sinfulness based on a literal reading of the Bible. I'm glad that I did not purchase this book, but that it was provided free of charge from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group in exchange for this review.

    0 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted March 2, 2011

    more from this reviewer

    Deep Hurt? You gotta read this!!

    There have been many different pains in my life that I thought I would never heal from. I have asked God on numerous occasions, "Why God? Why have these things happened to me?" I have been angry with God, and ran from Him because of the pain and heartbreak that I suffered. Thankfully, the Lord was patient with me and waited on me to return to Him. When I did, He embraced me with open arms and a heart full of love.

    I wish when I was going through the process of healing many years ago, I had read Kay Arthur's book, When the Hurt Runs Deep. In her book, Kay brings to the table the fruits of life that many people eat.death, abuse, suicide, etc., and all the emotions and hopelessness that are served as side dishes. Kay gets right down to the heart of the questions that many people have when they are served these slices of life."Why?" "When the hurt runs deep, is there anything that can heal the pain?"

    As she confronts some of these tough issues, she also serves a plateful of truth that is God's Word. With each subject, she lays out stories of the lives of people in the bible that have suffered through some pretty heartbreaking situations. She tells of the triumph they gained through seeking God's face and gives tangible ways that people today can gain the same victory. Kay covers twelve "Healing Truths" that will help you in the process of healing When the Hurt Runs Deep. At the end of the book, you can find a study guide that will help you get to the heart of the issues you face, and find the heart of God within those issues.

    If you have faced heartache in your life that you have not been able to overcome, I highly recommend this book! Kay's words will bring a heaping full of truth, healing, and comfort as you journey through the process of healing from the hurts that run deep.

    I have received this complimentary book from WaterBrook Multnomah, through the blogging for books program. The views and opinions are my own.

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    Posted March 14, 2011

    No text was provided for this review.

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    Posted May 17, 2011

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    Posted May 8, 2011

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