Customer Reviews for

Why Don't They Just Quit?: : What Families and Friends Need to Know about Addiction and Recovery.

Average Rating 4.5
( 14 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star

(11)

4 Star

(1)

3 Star

(1)

2 Star

(0)

1 Star

(1)

Your Rating:

Your Name: Create a Pen Name or

Barnes & Noble.com Review Rules

Our reader reviews allow you to share your comments on titles you liked, or didn't, with others. By submitting an online review, you are representing to Barnes & Noble.com that all information contained in your review is original and accurate in all respects, and that the submission of such content by you and the posting of such content by Barnes & Noble.com does not and will not violate the rights of any third party. Please follow the rules below to help ensure that your review can be posted.

Reviews by Our Customers Under the Age of 13

We highly value and respect everyone's opinion concerning the titles we offer. However, we cannot allow persons under the age of 13 to have accounts at BN.com or to post customer reviews. Please see our Terms of Use for more details.

What to exclude from your review:

Please do not write about reviews, commentary, or information posted on the product page. If you see any errors in the information on the product page, please send us an email.

Reviews should not contain any of the following:

  • - HTML tags, profanity, obscenities, vulgarities, or comments that defame anyone
  • - Time-sensitive information such as tour dates, signings, lectures, etc.
  • - Single-word reviews. Other people will read your review to discover why you liked or didn't like the title. Be descriptive.
  • - Comments focusing on the author or that may ruin the ending for others
  • - Phone numbers, addresses, URLs
  • - Pricing and availability information or alternative ordering information
  • - Advertisements or commercial solicitation

Reminder:

  • - By submitting a review, you grant to Barnes & Noble.com and its sublicensees the royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable right and license to use the review in accordance with the Barnes & Noble.com Terms of Use.
  • - Barnes & Noble.com reserves the right not to post any review -- particularly those that do not follow the terms and conditions of these Rules. Barnes & Noble.com also reserves the right to remove any review at any time without notice.
  • - See Terms of Use for other conditions and disclaimers.
Search for Products You'd Like to Recommend

Recommend other products that relate to your review. Just search for them below and share!

Create a Pen Name

Your Pen Name is your unique identity on BN.com. It will appear on the reviews you write and other website activities. Your Pen Name cannot be edited, changed or deleted once submitted.

 
Your Pen Name can be any combination of alphanumeric characters (plus - and _), and must be at least two characters long.

Continue Anonymously

Most Helpful Favorable Review

3 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

As if you have been in my home, observing.

"I read all of my Al-Anon books, attend meetings, and I have a wonderful church family, but this book presents some new thoughts to me. It's wonderful and has proven to be of great solace. . . . as if you've been here in my home, observing."

posted by ColoradoMamaCO on October 16, 2010

Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review

Most Helpful Critical Review

1 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

helpful

i found this helpful as a way to look at the problem. it is not a cure, but a tool.

posted by momof2KE on February 5, 2011

Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
Sort by: Showing all of 14 review with 5 star rating   See All Ratings
Page 1 of 1
  • Posted October 16, 2010

    more from this reviewer

    As if you have been in my home, observing.

    "I read all of my Al-Anon books, attend meetings, and I have a wonderful church family, but this book presents some new thoughts to me. It's wonderful and has proven to be of great solace. . . . as if you've been here in my home, observing."

    3 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted April 18, 2013

    Admitting to, seeking help for and recovering from any addiction

    Admitting to, seeking help for and recovering from any addiction is an amazing accomplishment!  And to share with honest transparency one’s own battles with raging internal demons is also admirable.  But to exquisitely draft one’s story in black and white for all to bare witness to and in turn learn from is beyond extraordinary!
    Former addict Joe Herzanek turned survivor, warrior and counselor along with his wife and co-author Judy, reveal their story in Why Don’t They Just Quit.  This book is real! Together as a family and as individuals, they have “walked the walk.”  

    The raw, honest, in-your-face openness without excuses or embarrassment is so genuine you can’t help but relate to the struggle.  We all have internal demons, just to varying degrees.  

    But life-ruining addiction is not a battle to be won without an army along side you and Herzanek knows and admits to this fact.  He identifies every manipulation, avoidance, denial, blame game, excuse etc. that addicts use to avoid responsibility.  And he knows them all because he has used them all.  

    This self-help book is the 2008 Indie Book Award Winner.  It is well written and laden with real effective techniques for families and friends of addicts.  What to do and what NOT to do; What to watch for; When and how to help; and so much more.  

    I especially appreciated his straight forward, user-friendly approach; at times I felt like Joe was in talking to me in real time.   The book is for everyone and anyone struggling not only with addictive personalities but also basic challenging parenting issues 

    My favorites simple but powerful messages are: 

    "Do you love your child enough to let him be mad at you?  Don Williams

    “When you blame others, you give up your power to change.”  Robert Anthony

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted April 19, 2011

    It really is a good book and I will read it again, and again

    Not everything may apply but it really helps me to understand "NOT TO HELP" the addict because you are only hurting them. It's very difficult to say no but I will never give up hope. never.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted March 4, 2011

    Terrific book--- I recommend to my clients!

    As a counselor, my clients always ask, "why don't they just quit?!"...This book helps them SOOOO much!

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted October 25, 2008

    My Bible on drug abuse and families

    I recently purchased book ¿Why Don¿t They Just Quit¿ by Joe Herzanek. Having a son with a severe alcohol/drug abuse problem, who has been through more than one treatment program, I was desperately looking for answers, not hype or glitter. <BR/><BR/>I consider ¿Why Don¿t They Just Quit¿ to be my ¿Bible¿ on drug abuse issues affecting the addict and the families (I loaned it to my son¿s father and it looks like my Bible¿yellow hi-lights, post it notes, etc, etc.). I refer to it over and over. Mr. Herzanek lays it out in a straightforward way, using his and others¿ personal experiences to clarify the how and why of addiction and recovery. This is a must have tool for anyone that is impacted by a loved one¿s addiction.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted March 12, 2008

    The Life-Manual For Addicts and Everyone!

    Everyone¿s heard an addict¿s story ¿ in one way or another. But, has anyone ever really understood it? From the opening page of this book, the reader is treated to real-life stories, practical tools and thought-provoking quotes that illustrate the journey to¿ through¿ and from addiction. The dynamics of the addict and their social structures are finally explained from the environments they migrate to, the people they surround themselves with and finally, to the families that suffer as they watch their loved one¿s battle with addiction. An addict does not have to be one who is addicted to alcohol, a narcotic or a prescription. It could be food, or acceptance, or the overwhelming need to `save¿ someone. No one is left behind in their quest for information in `Why Don¿t They Just Quit¿. This book will help not only the addict who doesn¿t yet `recognize¿ themselves. But, it could also help the family and loved ones who just don¿t get¿ why they don¿t just quit! This book is a page turning, `Most-Frequently-Asked-Questions¿ life-manual for anyone who wants to understand addiction and how it happens. With it, an addict is given the map on how they got that way and the tools they¿ll need to find their way back. Family, friends and the addict¿s significant others are encouraged to face the role they play in the addict¿s life. ¿Don¿t clean me up¿ I need to remember - and see - what I have done.¿ Everyone caught in the web of addiction are allowed, with this book, to interpret their actions and how they may be enabling the addict. Most of all, the addict learns to understand that quitting their addiction does not mean that they are no longer an addict¿ but that they are a recovering one. To stop using¿ does not `fix¿ you. You must fix you! Being clean and sober does not mean `the cure¿ has been found. That¿s when the work really begins - because everyone in an addict¿s life needs to recover. ¿To stop¿ is to begin.¿ 'Why Don¿t They Just Quit¿ is an amazing testimonial to the struggles of everyone involved in addiction. It describes the tools to be `well¿ and prompts the courage to use them! Kudos to the author's' to understand that people are interested in what the 'bystanders' go through when someone they love is addicted. I think there are a lot of books written about/to the addict, but not so many about those whose lives are affected¿ and how they cope. I think that the 'Al-Anon world' would be very interested. Everyone¿ should be interested in this book. Review By: Robin R. Rogers, Author of ROCK BOTTOM

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted October 23, 2011

    Exceptional book, written with skill and humanity

    Why Don't They Just Quit?
    By Joe Herzanek

    There are a great many books on addiction and recovery, and a lot of them are given the accolades 'must read', or 'essential reading'. It is refreshing to read a book that thoroughly deserves this kind of praise. In fairness a lot of the material read by this recovering addict has been academic in nature and very heavy going. This book, whose author obviously knows his subject, is very unmistakably intended to reach a much wider audience than the academic, or even the addict. The book, while it contains much important information and help for the recovering addict or alcoholic, clearly has another important aim: to give aid, guidance and support to the families and loved ones of those suffering with addiction.
    It is extremely readable and the layout is easy on the eye, with the book being divided into five different parts, with seven or eight chapters in each part, and a helpful overview at the end. This all makes it a very good tool for diving in and out of, to find the information you need, without necessarily reading it from cover to cover, although I would recommend that you do.
    It's difficult to pick out favourite chapters, there are so many of them I learned much from. The short chapter in part one entitled 'Why do we all take drugs?' talks about the ability of drugs and alcohol to increase pleasure and decrease pain, and how this fills our need for instant gratification. So obvious when you see it on the page, but not so in real life, how many of us actually have ever stopped to think about why we do what we do. I know I never did.
    Chapter five goes on to talk about the different stages of addiction; from 'use' to 'abuse' to 'addiction'. It describes signs that may become apparent to family or friends when the user moves through these different stages. Changes in attitude of the person concerned, the substance of choice becoming more important to the user, and problems occurring at work or at home or even with the law. One of the common misconceptions of the addict is that nobody knows about their problem, it's their secret. This chapter clearly shows that the user starts to show outward signs of their problem to others, long before they realize it themselves.
    My favourite part of this remarkable book is the section on Questions and Answers with Joe, Brilliantly done, with some of the answers, those about whether or not addiction is a willpower problem, or if relapse means failure, requiring a paragraph or two to answer, and some, notably those about whether or not it's a good idea to use weed when in recovery from other substances, just requiring a simple but emphatic 'No'!
    Towards the end of the book there is a chapter entitled 'Real Stories, Real People', which tell the moving real life tales of people suffering with addictions, and the struggle of those loved ones around them trying to help. This section contains the story of the authors' wife Judy (who also writes the foreword at the beginning of the book), and the problems she had with alcohol in her past. This part of the book, along with the question and answer chapter definitely come under the heading of 'essential reading'.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted October 13, 2011

    Exceptional book on Addiction and Substance Abuse for Families and Friends

    "Why Don't They Just Quit" is an astounding book written by Joe Herzanek that is a complete encyclopedia containing knowledge, personal insight and exhausted discussion for families and friends in need of hope, education and truth regarding addiction and recovery. His DVD Round table Discussion consists of 90 minutes within four sessions dealing with "Life Before Recovery, Dispelling Myths, All About Treatment and Life in Recovery." Over thirty-five tough questions are explained and answered including "what works, what doesn't and why, why a person does not have to hit rock bottom, why effective intervention doesn't have to be a surprise" attack and many more. There is also a DVD with the 10 toughest questions answered and is a wealth of knowledge for anyone.

    Of all the educational material I have scoured and devoured over the past eight months, nothing has been as exhaustive in truth and information as "Why Don't They Just Quit!" After reading the book, watching the "DVD Round table Discussion" and to the answers to some of the tough questions asked by family and friends I am convinced "Why Don't They Just Quit" will leave you informed, educated and at peace about what to do next to help your loved one or friend.

    Joe Herzanak, the author of "Why Can't They Just Quit", is also a recovering addict and has been a counselor for over twenty years. He is one of the most reliable and reputable sources to gain keen insight, absolute truth and invaluable help as you walk this journey of recovery with your family member or friend.

    I have experienced the journey of addiction and substance abuse alongside a close family member and have found Joe Herzanek's book and DVD's to be helpful, comforting and empowering. Knowing the truth about addiction and substance abuse is of utmost importance in order to lend a helping hand without enabling, offer advice that is both truthful and can be highly effective in the life of the addict and can bring peace to your soul as you witness the life of someone you know being changed dramatically by drug addiction or substance abuse.

    Joe Herzanek tells us "Addiction only gets worse." No household should be without this life-changing literature. I firmly believe "Why Can't They Just Quit! along with the DVD series can possibly save the life of your loved one or friend.
    Comment

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted September 28, 2011

    I felt all alone in my struggle with my addiction!

    Addiction is often described as insidious which means that it spreads in a subtle manner and entraps in a seductive way. Because of this insidiousness, the addict is usually the last one to realize he or she has a problem. And realizing there is a problem is only half the battle. It's hard for most addicts to quit because they don't want to stop all use.

    They still want to use a little, they're still under the illusion that they have some control left. For example, they may think it's OK to continue smoking marijuana because they "never had a problem with weed." But the drug is not the problem. The inability to enjoy life without a substance is the problem.

    "Why Don't They Just Quit?" by Joe Herzanek offers many original insights into the insidiousness of this disease. I wish I had read a book like this when I made my first attempts to quit. And I wish my friends and family had read it too.

    I felt all alone in my struggle with my addiction because no one around me, including myself, understood it. So I was all by myself and an addict all by himself is in bad company.

    Joe examines many other issues that I haven't read in a book like this before. There's a chapter on hepatitis C, and he looks at the difference between an addict with a crime problem (me) and a criminal with a drug problem (not me).

    There is a big difference. Trust me.

    He also looks at what treatment is like for the addict and the family. I'm sure there are many ways besides the 12 steps to quit, but an addict can die trying to find them.

    As Joe points out, A recovering person can walk into an AA (or NA) meeting anywhere in the world and instantly be accepted by a room full of strangers. This book was written from much hard won experience. Joe himself is a recovering addict and has worked in the criminal justice system for more than sixteen years as a counselor and chaplain.

    "Why Don't They Just Quit?" is perfect for friends and families of addicts because Joe has also had to deal with this disease from a father's perspective. His own son found himself deep in trouble and luckily Joe knew how to deal with it correctly. He mixes his own personal experiences in with everything you need to know about addiction and recovery, and therefore avoids becoming just another dry recitation of a bunch of do's and don'ts.

    Tagged as: alone, diary, insidious, review, struggle, treatment, running away from me

    Review by David Allan Reeves Author of "Running Away From Me"

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted October 26, 2008

    My Bible On Drug Abuse Issues

    I recently purchased the DVD and book on ¿Why Don¿t They Just Quit¿ by Joe Herzanek. Having a son with a severe alcohol/drug abuse problem, who has been through more than one treatment program, I was desperately looking for answers, not hype or glitter. I consider ¿Why Don¿t They Just Quit¿ to be my ¿Bible¿ on drug abuse issues affecting the addict and the families (I loaned it to my son¿s father and it looks like my Bible¿yellow hi-lights, post it notes, etc, etc.). I refer to it over and over. Mr. Herzanek lays it out in a straightforward way, using his and others¿ personal experiences to clarify the how and why of addiction and recovery. This is a must have tool for anyone that is impacted by a loved one¿s addiction.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted March 20, 2011

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted June 13, 2012

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted December 19, 2010

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted December 12, 2012

    No text was provided for this review.

Sort by: Showing all of 14 review with 5 star rating   See All Ratings
Page 1 of 1