Customer Reviews for

Why Is It Always About You?: The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism

Average Rating 4
( 26 )
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(14)

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(2)

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(2)

1 Star

(4)

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Most Helpful Favorable Review

3 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

Everyone in our Narcissistic Society could benefit from this book!

I love this book. Hotchkiss has done a humanitarian service for our society. They're all here: Wife batterers, shallow people, liars, self-absorbed, cheating spouses...and narcissistic parents. I love her final section, 'Only You Can Stop Narcissism.' N's get under...
I love this book. Hotchkiss has done a humanitarian service for our society. They're all here: Wife batterers, shallow people, liars, self-absorbed, cheating spouses...and narcissistic parents. I love her final section, 'Only You Can Stop Narcissism.' N's get under your skin. They use you--you get their anger projected onto you and, since they are too ashamed to blow up, you end up blowing up. That's what happened to me, twice, with two individual N's. I had to read this book to work through what happened to me. Do you know people who never ask about your life but talk on and on about themselves? Get this book.

posted by Anonymous on May 19, 2003

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Most Helpful Critical Review

1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

Excellent Book

This book is exceedingly helpful in sorting out what is actually happening when one is in a relationship with a narcissistic personality. Included are practical, concrete ways to set limits with such a person in a way that is reasonable and leaves both parties unscathe...
This book is exceedingly helpful in sorting out what is actually happening when one is in a relationship with a narcissistic personality. Included are practical, concrete ways to set limits with such a person in a way that is reasonable and leaves both parties unscathed. Absolutely essential for anyone; as these difficult personalities abound.

posted by Gin-e_ on February 20, 2010

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 19, 2003

    Everyone in our Narcissistic Society could benefit from this book!

    I love this book. Hotchkiss has done a humanitarian service for our society. They're all here: Wife batterers, shallow people, liars, self-absorbed, cheating spouses...and narcissistic parents. I love her final section, 'Only You Can Stop Narcissism.' N's get under your skin. They use you--you get their anger projected onto you and, since they are too ashamed to blow up, you end up blowing up. That's what happened to me, twice, with two individual N's. I had to read this book to work through what happened to me. Do you know people who never ask about your life but talk on and on about themselves? Get this book.

    3 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted June 14, 2012

    HIGHLY RECOMMEND!!!

    If you have a narcissist in your life, you need this book!!!!!!!!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 11, 2012

    Helpful Well done

    Balanced and thoughtful read

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted February 20, 2010

    Excellent Book

    This book is exceedingly helpful in sorting out what is actually happening when one is in a relationship with a narcissistic personality. Included are practical, concrete ways to set limits with such a person in a way that is reasonable and leaves both parties unscathed. Absolutely essential for anyone; as these difficult personalities abound.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted December 19, 2009

    Must read - we all know a narcissist

    This book helped me understand several members of my primary and extended family, and people in general. The author nails the behaviors of the narcissist, explaining in clear terms how they operate and what you can do to deal with this difficult personality type. She also describes the narcissist under different conditions or stages, such as adolescence, aging, at work, etc. Very helpful book - I have shared it with or given it to many people who are grateful to learn that the problem is with the narcissist not with them!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 30, 2004

    life changer

    Once your realize the ugly pattern, you will find it repeating in your life. Once you are free of it, your life and realtionships will change for the better. Thank you!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted December 14, 2012

    Damn! You MUST Read This Book! HIGHLY Recommended!!

    Wow! Not even mid-way through the book, I felt my nostrils open and gray clouds before my eyes begin to clear away! The crap we're faced with in American society alone seems to be more than reason enough for every household to purchase this book!

    Looking at the dating scene and family crap I've been faced with since childhood, this was one of the most important and most cherished books I've purchased.

    Thank You Sandy Hotchkiss!

    5 Star Rating from Me!!!

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  • Posted December 4, 2011

    Everyone should read this book

    I was dropped on a dime by a narcissist in 2001. It really messed with my mind until I found this book. She showed me everything that happened to me and why I was rejected without reason. I've bought this book so many times and friends never seem to give it back! But that's okay. I'm just glad to have found it. She truly saved my sanity from a spiral that made no sense. I'm just glad I could help so many of my friends and acquaintances over the years with her words.

    Even if you do not think you know one, everyone should read this insightful book. It will serve as a guide for forming all types of relationships for decades to come.

    As a framework, what I learned is that the narcissist never evolved emotionally from the age of a three year old child. This happened basically because as a child they were never given discipline to shape boundaries. As an adult, they only understand their own pain and know nothing of yours. They come into your life in a fairytale way, but once you fail to stroke their fragile ego, they drop you on a dime.

    They need desperately to be liked by all. Also, they are masters of projecting all of the blame onto everyone but themselves. And finally, you cannot win with the narcissist. Don't even try. The best you can do is to treat them as ghost. They don't know how to defend their behavior under your neutral position.

    Sandy Hotchkiss saved my sanity. I hope she can save yours!

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  • Posted March 20, 2010

    A good source for those who have suffered and want out

    This book not only clearly explains narcissistic personalities. It also explains WHY those of us who are prey to the narcissist's traps get caught, sometimes time and again. I've read one book on narcissism prior to this author's book and still didn't "get" why they seemed to crop up in my life often. Now I finally get it. Now I am able to spot them and move out of their paths.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 10, 2009

    Just What My Therapist Ordered

    This book covered many things that I hadn't realized were negative traits in people from my past. It helped me understand why they were able to hurt me so much, and why I had just accepted it.

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 16, 2008

    God Bless Sandy Hotchkiss for this book :-

    Sandy first helped me to understand 'I married a Narcissist.' Sandy's book should be read by every person who believes they may have or are still enduring the crazy-making world of a narcissist. Although I personally believe all Narcissists morph from a set list of definable traits from which it would otherwise be easy to diagnosis the disorder - Sandy had the courage to write a book that spoke to the unlearned victim's in a way that can have you see the narcissist's actions with such simple clarity. Sandy's book lead me to recovery from a very mentally difficult marriage and love affair that left me questioning basic beliefs about myself. However, after reading Ms. Hotchkiss's book 'the first of many writings I have now read' she made this world of the unempathic so clear. I had so many revelations from her descriptions of a narcissist's actions that I was able to see that it was not me that was crazy but just the pawn in a crazy-making world of a narcissist.

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 7, 2007

    A reviewer

    I have read a lot of material on NPD, and this book was not as helpful as some others I have read. In fact, the over-emphasiss on shame in this book had me convinced that my ex was not a Narcissist. It wasn't until I had read the DSM-IV and Malignant Self-love, which empasize the lack of empathy, lying, and lack of emotion as key diagnostic criteria. The intimate psychologal portraits in these other books have me convinced that not only was my ex a Narcissist, but a TEXTBOOK case. If I had just read this book, I would never have known.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 26, 2003

    Guide to Survival

    The literature about narcissism is rich in scholarly, obstruse, discussions of psychodynamics, etiology, differential diagnoses and other unhelpful issues.It is poor in down-to-earth, practical, 'how to cope' manuals. This book contains a rudimentary overview of pathological narcissism and then proceeds to identify the traits and dysfunctional behaviors of the narcissist - replete with hundreds of examples from the author's mental health practice. It then proceeds to provide check lists,tips, and advice on how to cope with this destructive and perniciousphenomenon. Along needed and long missing work. Sam Vaknin, author of 'Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited.'

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 8, 2003

    Great title to learn about yourself and the others in your life

    I thorougly enjoyed reading about this book. It helped me understand my husband, his family, as well as about myself and my own. It seemed oddly accurate and I hope it will be as helpful in dealing with these relationships as I feel it will. I have recommended it to several friends and family.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 8, 2002

    If you live with a self-absorbed peacock, read this

    This book is very accessible for the lay reader. I've been reading a lot of books on verbal abuse and narcissism over the past few years, and this one is a great addition to my book shelf. I highly recommend it if you are in a situation where, when the person walks away, you think to yourself: Who the **** does he (she) think he is! This book gave me new insight into WHY my husband is the way he is, and how to respond in ways that are healthier for me.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted September 25, 2002

    Guide to Survival

    The literature about narcissism is rich in scholarly, obstruse, discussions of psychodynamics, etiology, differential diagnoses and other unhelpful issues. It is poor in down-to-earth, practical, "how to cope" manuals. I should know as I am the author of "Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited", another tome on this subject. This book contains a rudimentary overview of pathological narcissism and then proceeds to identify the traits and dysfunctional behaviors of the narcissist - replete with hundreds of examples from the author's mental health practice. It then proceeds to provide check lists, tips, and advice on how to cope with this destructive and pernicious phenomenon. A long needed and long missing work.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted November 18, 2009

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted October 2, 2013

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted July 25, 2011

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted September 6, 2011

    No text was provided for this review.

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