Customer Reviews for

Why Marriages Succeed or Fail: And How You Can Make Yours Last

Average Rating 4.5
( 14 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star

(10)

4 Star

(2)

3 Star

(2)

2 Star

(0)

1 Star

(0)

Your Rating:

Your Name: Create a Pen Name or

Barnes & Noble.com Review Rules

Our reader reviews allow you to share your comments on titles you liked, or didn't, with others. By submitting an online review, you are representing to Barnes & Noble.com that all information contained in your review is original and accurate in all respects, and that the submission of such content by you and the posting of such content by Barnes & Noble.com does not and will not violate the rights of any third party. Please follow the rules below to help ensure that your review can be posted.

Reviews by Our Customers Under the Age of 13

We highly value and respect everyone's opinion concerning the titles we offer. However, we cannot allow persons under the age of 13 to have accounts at BN.com or to post customer reviews. Please see our Terms of Use for more details.

What to exclude from your review:

Please do not write about reviews, commentary, or information posted on the product page. If you see any errors in the information on the product page, please send us an email.

Reviews should not contain any of the following:

  • - HTML tags, profanity, obscenities, vulgarities, or comments that defame anyone
  • - Time-sensitive information such as tour dates, signings, lectures, etc.
  • - Single-word reviews. Other people will read your review to discover why you liked or didn't like the title. Be descriptive.
  • - Comments focusing on the author or that may ruin the ending for others
  • - Phone numbers, addresses, URLs
  • - Pricing and availability information or alternative ordering information
  • - Advertisements or commercial solicitation

Reminder:

  • - By submitting a review, you grant to Barnes & Noble.com and its sublicensees the royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable right and license to use the review in accordance with the Barnes & Noble.com Terms of Use.
  • - Barnes & Noble.com reserves the right not to post any review -- particularly those that do not follow the terms and conditions of these Rules. Barnes & Noble.com also reserves the right to remove any review at any time without notice.
  • - See Terms of Use for other conditions and disclaimers.
Search for Products You'd Like to Recommend

Recommend other products that relate to your review. Just search for them below and share!

Create a Pen Name

Your Pen Name is your unique identity on BN.com. It will appear on the reviews you write and other website activities. Your Pen Name cannot be edited, changed or deleted once submitted.

 
Your Pen Name can be any combination of alphanumeric characters (plus - and _), and must be at least two characters long.

Continue Anonymously
Sort by: Showing all of 14 Customer Reviews
Page 1 of 1
  • Anonymous

    Posted April 22, 2005

    Good research

    You can't argue with the research. It is pretty solid. The ideas that came from the research also are sound. Couples that read this book together and discuss it will be far down the road to keeping their marriage together or if they decide, they can realize early that it isn't going to work before the three kids come along and get out fast. Another book that is great is 'How to Date Your Wife' by Stan Cronin. In his book the author asked wives anonymously what they thought was good in their relationships and what needed improvement. I think every woman will recognize the good and the bad. Both books give you tools to use to improve the marriage and that is the important part.

    3 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted December 6, 2009

    Bought this as a gift for newly weds

    This book is awesome and a must read for marriages at every stage. There is much that can be gleened from the Gottman's research. I am a therapist and I do marriage and family counseling. This is one of the books I recommend for homework!

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted November 29, 2009

    Read it for a Psychology class

    Good book, easy read, and very informative and helpful. Even for sibling and parent relationships, this book was applicable to almost every type of relationship. Kudos to Dr. Gottman!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted June 14, 2009

    A Great Tool for Marriages

    It is one of the most influential books I used in counseling as an Army Chaplain over the years. I recommend it for any couple to read to understand the 5-1 ratio of positive to negative experiences in a marriage or relationship.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted October 10, 2003

    Excellent relationship help!

    I thought that this book was excellent in outlining the types of patterns we fall into when we get married. It gave me a positive but realistic outlook on what is going on in my marriage and how I can work on making it better. The author's de-emphasis on deep meaningful communication left me a little unsatisfied. Although I know that letting go of the little things is important, I feel that opening up to your partner is very important in a loving relationship. I like another book that takes this one step further in developing a deep caring relationship. It is called 'The Ever-Transcending Spirit' by Toru Sato and I highly recommend it to anyone looking to understand and improve his or her relationship.

    1 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted January 19, 2003

    Interesting and Insightful

    This book is very interesting and insightful. It provides you with some of the basics about marital relations and gives you some ideas about how to improve your marriage. The author goes through his own scietific research and sends us important messages about what it important and what is not important in keeping a marriage together. Although this book had some important and interesting insights, I was hungry for something deeper. That hunger was satisfied much more when I read Rhythm, Relationships, and Transcendence by Toru Sato. A friend recommended it to me and it was the best gift I ever bought myself. Read it and you will know what I am talking about!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted January 11, 2001

    Finally, a self help book for marriage that really works

    Gottman has finally gone where no other marriage counselor has gone before--into the realm of observing what works and what does not work in actual marriages. Over the years there have been many books written to help the 65% + of couples who end up divorcing in the US, but this is the only book of suggestions that was developed from true observation, and not a theorists's best thinking. The book contains some suprising findings, however, most of the advice concerns changing behaviors that we know do not facilitate loving communication--somehow we just never identified them before! Most importantly, couples can really practice these tools on a daily basis--as oppossed to the famous mirroring technique that never really was used outside of the therapy session. Take a look and pass it on!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted January 24, 2001

    There is hope!

    Finally! A book that gives hope in a hopeless world of escalating divorce rates. This is the first book I have read that actually backs up ideas with sound statistical data. And, the ideas presented really make one probe into the true essence of relationships. It allows for human contrast by avoiding the gender issues and primarily looking at the couple as two individuals who bring their own unique attributes to the relationship equation. I've already recommended this book to many of my friends who have read it and feel the same way I do. Read it!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted September 19, 2000

    Simple, practical advice based on research.

    Gottman explains exactly how to avoid what ruins marriages. About 25 years ago, he started interviewing newlyweds in his laboratory. He hooked them up to devices that measure physical responses (blood pressure, heart rate, sweat on the palms, etc.) and videotaped them while they discussed a subject that was volatile for them. He was then able to go back and study the videotapes and watch the records of blood pressure and heart rate and see how the person responded both outwardly and inwardly. And then he tracked these couples over the years. Some broke up. Some stayed together. He found something very specific that enabled him to predict, with an astoundingly high degree of accuracy, who will break up and who will stay together: How they fight. Gottman's most important discovery, I think, is that it isn't the content of the fight that makes a difference, it's the process you use during an argument. If you use a lousy method of fighting, it doesn't matter if you're only arguing about a toothpaste tube, it can destroy your marriage. I'm the author of the book, Self-Help Stuff That Works, and I'm an expert on what is practical and helpful. The advice Gottman gives in his book is just that.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted October 1, 2007

    Positive advice on strengthening your marriage

    If you and your spouse are screaming at each other over what color to paint the downstairs bathroom, it might be a sign that your marriage is in danger ¿ but then again, it might not. The fact that you argue is not the issue. Problems, conflicts and disagreements are inevitable and unavoidable in life and in a marriage. The key to a stable, healthy marriage is the way you air and resolve conflict. Dr. John Gottman studied hundreds of couples for more than 20 years to identify what, if anything, healthy and failing marriages have in common. Based on his research, the most innovative part of the book, he believes that he can predict with 94% accuracy which couples will stay together and which ones will fall apart. Failing marriages tend to follow the same downward spiral, a path that leads to loneliness, anger, negativity and, eventually, dissolution. Recognizing these destructive communication patterns is the first step back to a healthy relationship. Gottman's research, conclusions and recommendations hold up surprisingly well. We recommend his timeless advice to couples who want to avoid ¿ or address ¿ marital pitfalls.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted August 12, 2010

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted February 15, 2010

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted February 27, 2010

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted February 23, 2013

    No text was provided for this review.

Sort by: Showing all of 14 Customer Reviews
Page 1 of 1