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Why Men Hate Going to Church

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  • Posted November 1, 2011

    more from this reviewer

    church is for wimps?

    When I was first looking for a calling as a pastor, I heard from several churches, "if you can get the man, you can get the family." It was a response to a growing concern that the church was losing attendance from men. Specifically men in the late 30's to early 50's range. Which have caused some to wonder if the modern church service is only attractive to women, children and seniors. And even if a church does manage to have men in attendance, they seem to be the less committed types. There are typically more women teachers, more women in leadership, and more women in the choir. why is that?

    Author David Murrow argues that the church "system" is perfectly designed to give you the results you are getting. And while church may "fit" some men, the typical church does not. The church system only reaches a certain type of person and according to Murrow the majority of those people are women.

    Through the book, Murrow outlines how the typical church is missing members who are young, single or men who men who are overtly "manly." Murrow criticizes Church for issues that are handled passively, productivity that is slow and conflict that is handled in a non-aggressive way. And I suppose this "system" of church stems from the idea that Jesus acted this way. Many pants Jesus as being soft, demure and effeminate. One of Murrow's supporters, Mark Diriscoll, also blames the modern church for painting Jesus as some passive hippie, Mark says, "I cannot worship the hippie, diaper, halo Christ because I cannot worship a guy I can beat up."

    Is that why men hate going to church? Because they can't worship a guy they could beat up?

    Oddly enough, Murrow states that when surveyed the number one reason men don't want to go. "the church is full of hypocrites." Which actually is not all that surprising, because hypocrisy is typically the number one reason most people don't go to church - even the reason atheists and agnostics give.

    And here is when I will stand up on my soap box and "testify" a little bit. People keep using hypocrisy as the reason, but I don't believe they understand what it is. Hypocrisy is when you lie. It's when you say you believe something and you really don't. It's when you pretend to be one way, but inwardly YOU KNOW you are not that way.

    Sadly, people who use the word "hypocrisy" think it means "not practicing what one believes." Let me give it to you in Church speak. Let's say at your church you preach the act of service; and it's on all your banners and paperwork. "Our church loves service." But you notice that in that church - not many people serve. It only becomes hypocrisy when someone you know doesn't serve. tells you "I serve all the time." Then it's a lie. But if someone tells you, "yea, I believe in service, and I know it's a good thing, and Iknow it's what God wants, I just can't do it." That's not hypocrisy.

    Ananias and Sapphira (Acts 5) were hypocrites. They "said" they have all their money to the church, but they consciously knew that they didn't do it.

    No, Murrow stands on his belief that the church is a girls club. Churches cater to the largest group, the walls are painted pretty, we decorate with flowers, we have lot of female related ministries, music is soft and

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