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Why Men Hate Going to Church

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  • Posted September 15, 2012

    Why Men Hate Going to Church by David Murrow This book is thoro

    Why Men Hate Going to Church by David Murrow

    This book is thoroughly interesting. The book is divided into 3 different parts: where are the men, church culture versus man culture, and calling the church back to men. It is a eye opening book that enables readers to understand why men are less likely to be involved in a church. In a quote from the book, David writes: Men, who are verbal, studious, musical, and sensitive rise to the top. They get “stage time”, while average Joes who lack these soft virtues either leave the church or become passive pew sitters.” The church has become feminized and left out the men in the process. Many characteristics of the church are reflected in a feminine way. This book offers a section to help address the issue with helping men to feel welcomed into the church, by aiding to their needs. It helps balance the church between femininity and masculinity.

    This book is challenging, thought provoking, and needed for our generation! I highly recommend this book to others. It really helped me to see why men are less likely to go to church or be involved in the church. I am involved in a children/youth ministry, so this book is giving me ideas that I can put into practice. It offers many tips for the Church. It is not a book for only those serving in ministry. This is a very valuable book for anyone to read. There are sections that are valuable for wives, as they practice their faith with their husbands. It offers 10 short chapters on how the church can bring men back into the church. It is not about doing things the way we have always done them, but reaching all people for Christ!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 8, 2012

    Why they love God and loathe church

    David Murrow's book is not a "Shape up, Christian men !" lecture, nor is it an attempt to fit people to an organization. He argues instead that churches have become women's clubs with male officers, and that they must change to become more accepting of masculinity without sacrificing the female side.
    The book is a mixture of humor(Loved his comments about "K-Love" radio and their fictional arch-listener "Kathy"), sociology(why gay men and black women generally like religion at least in the abstract while lesbians and African-American men shun it ) and strategy (Lighten up on the girly sounding love-song-to-Jesus praise music and remember that guys simply express themselves differently, sometimes bluntly).
    A rare book and a road map to the future.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 22, 2012

    Why Men Hate Going to Church By David Murrow Posted on May 22, 2

    Why Men Hate Going to Church By David Murrow
    Posted on May 22, 2012
    This is one of ,if not the best spiritual book i’ve ever read.The writer really goes into much detail backed with facts historically and biblically on why men are missing in our church.I decided to put the writer to test so i started looking through his theory at church with my own eyes on sundays and wednesdays and what do you know ? There is some truth behind it.This is a problem facing all churches today and this book is a blueprint on understanding that and that fixing it .If you want to see the church rise up once again with men there .Get this book you won’t regret it .It is truly a great wonderful book. I say this is a keeper and cant wait to read another book by this writer.

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  • Posted December 2, 2011

    more from this reviewer

    Nailed It!

    Why Men Hate Going To Church-by David Murrow

    Why Men Hate Going To Church tries to reveal the real reasons why the number of men in church congregations has been steadily decreasing over the past few decades and warns us that if we don't change something soon not only our congregations but our clergy will be utterly devoid of the male persuasion.

    This book is broken up into three parts:

    Part 1 - Where Are The Men

    Gives us a picture of what happened to the church that started to
    drive men away and when it happened

    Gives us a surprising distinction between the Lamb of God and the
    Lion of Judah and how each is portrayed in the church.

    Gives us insight into the kind of men who are missing from the

    Part 2 - Church Culture vs. Man Culture

    Tells us the twelve things men fear about church

    Talks about the affects of Contemporary Worship and Modern church
    lingo on men

    How churches feminize over time

    How we are driving our young boys away from the Christian Faith

    Part 3 - Calling The Church Back To Men

    Explains why Mega Churches are it's not because they have
    more money and resources.

    How men relate to Pastors

    How to teach men
    How men minister to others especially other men

    How churches like Willow Creek, Saddle Back, and Mars Hill saw the
    problem and changed their church culture to attract men

    I found this book to be very helpful and for the most part true. I am not a girlie girl so I too have struggled with some of the same issues that this book talks about concerning church. David Murrow does address the fact that there are some women who think more along the lines of the typical male mind and that they too are struggling with our modern church culture. There were only a couple of places in the book where I disagreed with the author concerning reasons why men don't attend church. My husband and I have discussed these areas and he agreed that a couple of the reasons stated in the book are not reasons but rather excuses. However, all in all, this book is dead on.

    I do highly recommend this book for any church member or pastor who has noticed that a certain portion of the male population has gone missing from their congregation. Read some of the insights in this book then take a look at your church atmosphere and see if the book isn't correct.

    My only concern with this book is that some may take it too far the other direction and use this as an excuse to demean or dominate women which is not what the author intended nor God. We must have a balance so that all can learn, thrive, and serve!

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  • Posted November 17, 2011

    more from this reviewer

    Why Men Hate Going to Church

    I am a follower of Christ, and for this reason much of my reading has been spent on church growth, not just numerically but spiritually. Being a woman, I have often wondered why men, that claim to be Christian, would not pray aloud, take leadership roles, teach mixed classes in the church, or even be remotely interested in anything going on with the church. And... because I am a woman, I could not see through my eyes to reason or begin to understand. We see through our own perceptions and fail to see reality. As in so many areas of our lives we must look through a different set of lens if we want the picture to clear up. David Murrow's, Why Men Hate Going to Church, became the lens to clear my vision, reality, of just how our churches operate. Never before has the problem in the church been addressed so clearly. We can walk around with our head in the sand but until we address the problem¿the problem will never go away it will just worsen. For years self-help books have addressed marital and relationship problems in terms of distinct gender differences and have sought to help men and women communicate and relate better by acknowledging their differences within their marriage. I have not read any book that has gone where Murrow has trod in such a way as to define the reason that men and boys are just not interested in church. He gives advice how to counteract these differences in communication style in regards to our view of Christ himself as Lion of Judah vs. Lamb of God, in worship and music styles, to the decoration of the church. He talks about how women and men react differently in their relationships with people. While I must admit that he punched women pretty hard for the role that they have taken, his goal was to remind the church and its leaders that we must not just accept each genders way of expressing their worship, love and devotion to God but to include study, discipleship, and ministry that will fulfill each other¿s emotional and spiritual needs so that both genders and all ages can learn to worship God. It has changed not only how I see our church and its activity but it has changed my perception of men and their "relationship" to God. This book is a must for believers (church staff and leaders, wives, and mothers) who want to see men and boys develop a deeper and more satisfying walk with God. It is a must for those interested in developing the church's delivery system to draw all to a commitment to the ministry that God called all of us to participate in. We cannot leave church growth up to ¿our own¿ preferences,we must be intentional about reaching all people.

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  • Posted November 2, 2011

    Honest look at why christian churches are losing members

    This book is about the reasons men (and young women 18-35) don't go to Christian church. The percentage of men participating in church grows smaller each year. The US Congregational Life Survey concurs: "While the U.S. population is split fairly evenly between men and women, there are more women (61%) than men (39%) in the pews." Young men and women are not all turning athiest. While other religions are increasing their male membership and spirituality is very interesting to the youth of today, people are just choosing other places to practice their spirituality. Of the planet's great religions, only Christianity has a consistent, worldwide shortage of male practitioners.

    I loved this book. It was a super interesting, thought-provoking read. And on top of that, I feel the conclusions the author draws are pretty accurate. The reason my friends and I do not go to church are outlined in this book - church is too shallow and not relevant to me. Here are some of my favorite snippets from this book that sum up the general ideas from this book:

    If you asked them their religion, they would confidently reply, "Christian." They would even admit to feeling a strong connection with God. All three would say they're trying their best to follow Jesus. Yet they do not go to church.

    - I can worship God better at home than in a church building.
    - I don't feel like I need to go to a church to be a good kind Christian.
    - I've found church rather boring and irrelevant to my life.

    But church isn't on their radar. They've tried it. It didn't work for them. Their time is precious, and church just doesn't provide the return on investment they're looking for.

    "Your system is perfectly designed to give you the results you're getting." What if church is built to reach women, children, and elderly folks? Not sure you agree? The US Congregational Life Survey pegged the typical churchgoer as a fifty-year-old, married, well-educated, employed female.

    Most people think of Christ as having the values that come naturally to a woman. To "be like Christ" means always loving, always caring, always compassionate, and always gentle. Jesus does not judge people; he hugs them. Highly involved churchmen often possess the values that are normally considered "feminine". Men who are verbal, studious, musical, and sensitive rise to the top. While the average Joes who lack these soft virtues either leave the church or become passive pew sitters. Men don't hate God or Christ or the Bible or Christianity. They hate a system that's perfectly designed to reach someone else - women, children and elderly folks.

    Disclaimer: I gave my honest review. I received this book from the publisher but a positive review was not required

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  • Posted November 2, 2011

    more from this reviewer

    RIGHT ON About Reason I Do Not Go To Church

    Why Men Hate Going to Church by David Murrow explains why church does not appeal to nearly all men. The main answer lies in the fact that church appeals and teaches feminine character trains over masculine traits. These feminine traits appeal to women, weak and meek men, less-macho men, and older men and women, like grandparents.

    While some of the conclusions this author draws are not accurate reasons to explain the condition of WHY "men do not go to church", the main focus of this book hits the reason why 18-35 men and women find no challenge or appeal in Christian churches. This age group is EXTREMELY SPIRITUAL but are seeking in other religions or in Christianity OUTSIDE of church. We are returning to small home churches, like author Frank Viola and George Barna write about.

    Churches that emphasize the Lamb side of Jesus Christ, tend to lean towards feminine characteristics. The characteristics of the Lamb are kind, meek, and considered feminine by most people. The more liberal the church, the more feminine the characteristics being taught among members. Christians that emphasize the Lion in Jesus Christ tend to attract the 18-35 crowd, men, younger women, and the macho or rebelliousness in people. Some of these churches are criticized for being "too strong", "too angry", or for "fire and brimstone" teachings.

    I think this book is FANTASTIC!!! I think it is a must read for all Christians, especially preachers/pastors. This book is also accurate. I am a female in the 18-35 and this is the exact reason I have never been a church-goer. I do NOT believe in the system. I do not believe in the watered-down gospel. I don't agree with the wimpiness in church systems. Or all the gossip and judgmentalness. These feminine characteristics and also excessive masculine characteristics are both unppealing. Until churches wake up and realize they are reaching the people they are designed to reach (by their outdated, watered-down teachings), Christian churches will continue to appeal to mostly women and older women. MUST READ BOOK.

    Fantastic update to this book. Murrow explains the updates to this book are make this second release more valuable than the first.

    I received this book free of charge from the publisher in exchange for this review but I did really give my honest opinion

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  • Anonymous

    Posted October 30, 2011

    Highly Recommended

    Why is it that men hate going to church? Lousy preaching? Worship that is less then wonderful? In this second edition of his bestselling book, David Murrow uses his knowledge, and common sense to figure out the real reason. While most of the reason stems from the church being too feminine, many more usually unnoticed observations are demonstrated in this book. This book contains statistics, facts and above-and-beyond hypothesis to answer the question, why don't men like church?"
    This book was very good, and I believed it exposed some of the most devastating statistics of the men/women ratio in church. One of the most interesting theories, I believed, was the one about the church needing feminine character. At first, I shrugged it off, but then realized that women truly do have the right characteristics, such as fellowship, compassion, and many other "girly" things. Not that guys don't have compassion, but they need church to want them to build a house, or punch something, or teach them how to shepherd their families, etc. Overall, I thought this was a great, down-to-earth look at the reasons why men hate going to church. I would recommend this for any Pastors, Men's group leaders, and any other human with curiosity.
    Thomas Nelson Publishers gave me this book for this review.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 16, 2006


    I have often wondered why men are out of church. This book tries to explain some of the reasons. As I was reading I said yea (I agree) with a lot of things he says. But occasionally I said YEA!!! ( agree a lot!) that really hits home.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 19, 2005

    Not for sissy's!

    The facts and nothing but the facts. Fast paced and tells it like it really is. Men need to be men especially in church. Its time to become leaders and do the job only men were created to do. Definitely not for the faint at heart.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 30, 2005


    This book answers a lot of very good questions about the difference between the sexes as it relates to church-going. Well worth the time spent.

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    Posted May 31, 2011

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    Posted December 8, 2010

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    Posted June 22, 2011

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    Posted August 14, 2010

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