Confidence: How Much You Really Need and How to Get It
“I can’t remember the last time I finished reading a book and wanted to applaud…. Life-changing.”—Heidi Grant Halvorson, PhD, author of Focus
 

If you picked up this book because you want to increase your confidence, you are not alone. Like most people, you probably think that being highly confident would make you more likable, more employable, and more successful. But you’d be wrong.

In this paradigm-shifting book, world-renowned personality expert Dr. Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic reveals that, beyond making you feel good, high confidence has no genuine benefits, and it may even be self-destructive. Low confidence, however, helps us make realistic risk assessments, protects us from disastrous situations, and encourages us to become more competent—which is the real key to achievement. Intelligent and thought-provoking, Confidence shows you how to make your insecurities work for you in every facet of life.
 
“Maybe you have always intuited…that all the talk about boosting self-confidence and raising self-esteem is not the answer to success or happiness. This charming and thoroughly fact-based book will give you the evidence to back your wisdom, that being kind and competent works best.”—Elaine Aron, PhD, author of The Highly Sensitive Person and The Undervalued Self
1115054474
Confidence: How Much You Really Need and How to Get It
“I can’t remember the last time I finished reading a book and wanted to applaud…. Life-changing.”—Heidi Grant Halvorson, PhD, author of Focus
 

If you picked up this book because you want to increase your confidence, you are not alone. Like most people, you probably think that being highly confident would make you more likable, more employable, and more successful. But you’d be wrong.

In this paradigm-shifting book, world-renowned personality expert Dr. Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic reveals that, beyond making you feel good, high confidence has no genuine benefits, and it may even be self-destructive. Low confidence, however, helps us make realistic risk assessments, protects us from disastrous situations, and encourages us to become more competent—which is the real key to achievement. Intelligent and thought-provoking, Confidence shows you how to make your insecurities work for you in every facet of life.
 
“Maybe you have always intuited…that all the talk about boosting self-confidence and raising self-esteem is not the answer to success or happiness. This charming and thoroughly fact-based book will give you the evidence to back your wisdom, that being kind and competent works best.”—Elaine Aron, PhD, author of The Highly Sensitive Person and The Undervalued Self
13.99 In Stock
Confidence: How Much You Really Need and How to Get It

Confidence: How Much You Really Need and How to Get It

by Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic Ph.D.
Confidence: How Much You Really Need and How to Get It

Confidence: How Much You Really Need and How to Get It

by Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic Ph.D.

eBook

$13.99 

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Overview

“I can’t remember the last time I finished reading a book and wanted to applaud…. Life-changing.”—Heidi Grant Halvorson, PhD, author of Focus
 

If you picked up this book because you want to increase your confidence, you are not alone. Like most people, you probably think that being highly confident would make you more likable, more employable, and more successful. But you’d be wrong.

In this paradigm-shifting book, world-renowned personality expert Dr. Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic reveals that, beyond making you feel good, high confidence has no genuine benefits, and it may even be self-destructive. Low confidence, however, helps us make realistic risk assessments, protects us from disastrous situations, and encourages us to become more competent—which is the real key to achievement. Intelligent and thought-provoking, Confidence shows you how to make your insecurities work for you in every facet of life.
 
“Maybe you have always intuited…that all the talk about boosting self-confidence and raising self-esteem is not the answer to success or happiness. This charming and thoroughly fact-based book will give you the evidence to back your wisdom, that being kind and competent works best.”—Elaine Aron, PhD, author of The Highly Sensitive Person and The Undervalued Self

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780698137127
Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
Publication date: 10/17/2013
Sold by: Penguin Group
Format: eBook
Pages: 304
File size: 729 KB
Age Range: 18 Years

About the Author

TOMAS CHAMORRO-PREMUZIC, PhD, is a professor at University College London (UCL) and visiting professor at New York University. He is the author of six books (most recently, Personality 101) and also writes regular blogs for Harvard Business Review and Psychology Today. He lives in London and New York, and frequently appears in the media.

Table of Contents

1 Confidence Ain't Competence 1

The Difference Between Feeling and Being Able 1

Me, Me, Me (the Narcissistic Society) 3

Wanting Versus Needing Confidence (and Coke) 7

Higher Confidence Does Not Cause Competence 10

Most Confident People Are Deluded 12

Ignorance Ain't Bliss 15

The Perils of Chasing Confidence 19

The Confidence-Competence Cycle 24

Why Feeling Down Can Be a Good Thing 25

The Confidence-Competence Grid 28

2 Taking Advantage of Low Confidence 35

You Can Benefit from Insecurities 35

Low Confidence Protects You 40

Low Confidence Helps You Improve 46

Being Other Focused 50

Successful People Are Rarely Themselves 53

If You Fake It You'll Make It 56

3 Reputation Is King 61

If Character Is Destiny, Reputation Is Fate 64

Others Value Humility, Not Confidence 70

Everyone's a Psychologist 73

Do Others Know What We Are Like? Do We? 77

Why You Should Care About Others' Perceptions of You 80

Self-Knowledge Matters More Than Self-Belief 84

4 A Successful Career 91

What Top Performers Do Better 91

Debunking Career Myths (Confidence, Talent, and Arrogance) 91

Three Things Top Performers Do Better 102

How to Boost Your Career Confidence (Even Though You Don't Have To) 112

5 Social Confidence and People Skills 117

How to Master Interpersonal Relations 117

Social Confidence as Presentational Strategy 121

The Toxicity of High Social Confidence 124

The Adaptive Side of Lower Social Confidence 126

How to Use Your Low Social Confidence to Enhance Your Social Competence 128

Early Childhood Experiences Determine Your Social Confidence (and That's OK) 132

Turning Your Low Social Confidence into High Social Competence 135

6 A Loving Relationship 151

How to Boost Your Dating Confidence 151

Dating Confidence Is Not Dating Competence 152

Four Ways to Succeed in Romantic Relationships 158

There's a Time to Fake Dating Confidence 168

7 A Healthier Life 179

Your Well-being Is in Your Hands 179

The Unhealthy Side of High Confidence 183

The Healthy Side of Lower Confidence 197

Low Confidence Extends Life 199

Earning Confidence (Through Well-being) 201

8 Easier Said Than Done? 207

All You Need Is a Bit of Willpower (and Low Confidence) 207

Embracing Low Confidence 210

Success Is the Best Medicine for Your Insecurities 211

A More Competent You 215

A More Competent, Less Confident World 217

Final Thoughts 220

Acknowledgements 223

Notes 225

Index 251

What People are Saying About This

From the Publisher

Confidence nails it—if you want to achieve great things, you are better off being your own worst critic than your own biggest fan. Read this book and you will never look at the concept of self-esteem the same way again.”
—Laura Vanderkam, author of All The Money In The World and What the Most Successful People Do Before Breakfast
 
“Compelling and zippy.”
Financial Times
 
“I can't remember the last time I finished reading a book and wanted to applaud.  Confidence is a life-changing book—it will convince you, through brilliant arguments and an abundance of compelling evidence, that much of the advice you've been given on how to be successful is worse than useless.  In fact, it's been holding you back.  Before you read anything else, read Confidence.
—Heidi Grant Halvorson, PhD author of Focus and Succeed
 
“Outstanding.”
—Inc.com
 
“A provocative work, an excursion into the role of confidence at work, in relationships, and the impact on leading a healthy life. Dr. Chamorro-Premuzic repeatedly challenges our beliefs, which makes for a stimulating read.”
—The Globe and Mail
 
“Maybe you have always intuited, as most sensitive people do, that all the talk about boosting self-confidence and raising self-esteem is not the answer to success or happiness. This charming and thoroughly fact-based book will give you the evidence to back your wisdom, that being kind and competent works best.”
—Elaine Aron, PhD, author of The Highly Sensitive Person and The Undervalued Self 
 
“Interesting and transformative thinking that will not only have you accepting your inner critic and low self-confidence, but embracing it.... Chamorro-Premuzic writes in a kind, gentle, yet authoritative tone that will inspire the “insecure” reader and retire the over-confident ones....a new and enlightened perspective...This book is required reading for any professional.” 
Small Business Trends 

“An expose of the dark side of confidence. I absolutely loved it, because it shatters so much incorrect but conventional wisdom with key scientific research.”
—Matthew E. May, Rise Networks
 
“Chamorro-Premuzic has rethought confidence – shattering myths about what generates confidence but also reassessing low confidence as a positive attribute. A fresh, more balanced, approach, presented in a well-researched, accessible, and, indeed, enjoyable format. I like this book: a lot.”
—Robert Kelsey, author of What’s Stopping You?
 
“Pleasingly counterintuitive.”
--Elle
 
“Buy and read this book. Give it to a young person...I dare say I’m confident it could turn a life of miserable self-doubt into a life of empowerment.”
—Doug Michaelides, Vice President and Practice Leader, Sales and Marketing, for Stratford Managers Corporation
 
“Persuasively argues that we’ve taken our culture of self-assurance and self-promotion too far.”
Harvard Business Review

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