Table of Contents

The 17 Ways Kids Manipulate Their Parents xi

Introduction 1

Part 1 How Did We Get Here? The Truth About Kids, Parents, and the Unspoken Dynamics Between Them 9

1 The Three Major Misconceptions Most Parents Believe 11

2 The Three Innate Desires That Lead Most Parents to Inconsistency 21

Part 2 Your Child's Tools of Power The 17 Ways Kids Manipulate to Get What They Want 25

3 Emotional Blackmail 27

4 Punishment 32

5 Shutting Down 40

6 Irrational Logic 46

7 Negotiation 52

8 Confrontation and Protest 57

9 Steamrolling 67

10 Covert Operations 74

11 Divide and Conquer 82

12 Tactical Engagement 88

13 Creating Leverage 97

14 Playing the Victim 101

15 Forging the Friendship 105

16 Character Comparison 112

17 Casting Doubt 117

18 Glorification 123

19 Surprise Attack 128

Part 3 Developing an Action Plan to Decrease Problematic Behavior in the Future 133

20 The Five Reasons Children Manipulate 135

21 Assessing Your Child's Temperament: Using the Star Method 142

Part 4 Setting Structure Based on Your Child's Temperament Meeting Your Child's Interpersonal Needs 149

22 The Self-Doubting Child 151

23 The Impulsive Child: A Case of the Shuns 158

24 The Oppositional Child 167

25 The Low-Tolerant Child: A Need for Control 179

26 The Anxious/Insecure Child 195

Final Note 209

Appendix: Five Steps for Imposing a Restriction 211

Special Acknowledgment 213

Index 215