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CHAPTER 1

Getting Started: Tools, Secrets, and the Chemistry of Cleaning

Dirt happens. If you're browsing along hoping to find a miracle, a simple buy-Brand-X-and-you'll — never-clean-again cure, I hate to break your heart, but you'll be sorely disappointed. Granted, the time and energy cleaning requires can be streamlined and targeted to be as efficient as possible. With the right tools and knowledge, keeping a clean home becomes second nature. Out of habit you'll say, "Excuse the mess," and guests will reply, "What mess?" without lying through their teeth or teetering on the edge of the sofa insisting they are neither hungry nor thirsty.

If there is one question I'm asked more than any other, it has to be, "How can I have a clean home without actually doing anything?" Answer: You hire out.

It's not all the same

Organizing, cleaning, and sanitizing are three different jobs. Organizing is finding a place for things; cleaning is removing dirt and grime; and sanitizing is the process of reducing microbes (that's germs and bacteria) to a safe level.

Let's define our terms, shall we? Organized means a home where everything is put away. A clean home is one where dirt and grime do not reign supreme; a sanitary home is one in which it is safe to cook a meal without the local health inspector having a case of the vapors; a sterile home does not exist. Got it? It's perfectly possible to live in an unorganized, but clean and sanitary home; it just takes a lot more work.

Some homes are quite easy to maintain, and in most cases these dwellings belong to single workaholics who enjoy eating out. If you live alone, pick up after yourself, and are rarely home, then yes, a home takes little effort to clean. A quick wipe down of the kitchen and the bathroom, plus vacuuming, dusting, and occasionally waving a mop in the general area of any hard flooring will keep things tidy.

Once other people (whether of the full-grown or less-so variety) enter the picture, a home just doesn't stay as clean. Humans, by nature, are nasty creatures; always shedding hair or skin; carrying in dust and pollen from outside; and smudging light switches and doorjambs with the oils on their skin. Only the very sheltered — or very lucky — haven't seen what can happen to a neglected bathroom. Maybe in ten years scientists will find the gene responsible for the expression of self-discipline; until then we're stuck with a choice: either hire out or clean up.

Secret No. 1: An Organized Home is Easier to Clean

Some of you will try to ignore the next bit, but soldier on. As much as it hurts, organization is the magic bullet. I'm sorry, I know you may not want to hear it, but it's true.

Parents with small children — and clean homes — tend to take a basket approach to organization. Why is this? It's due to the Second Law of Thermodynamics, which states a closed system tends toward a state of low energy and high chaos. If you don't believe me, think of the average dorm room early on a Saturday morning, a perfect illustration of low energy and high chaos. At some point some energy has to be added to the system, and who has the least energy to spare? That's right, people with young kids. The basket approach wrangles small amounts of chaos into inoffensive, semicontained systems. When junk is corralled and out of sight, it can be as chaotic as it wants.

Artistic types, quit hyperventilating! By no means am I suggesting an investment in coordinating boxes, label makers, and pocket protectors. Use mason jars for your paintbrushes, a tackle box for the beadwork, whatever strikes your fancy. The point is to clear as many horizontal spaces of clutter as possible. If you live alone, your organizational system doesn't have to make sense to others for it to work, but be prepared to continually explain your system when entertaining guests. If others utilize the space, it would be worthwhile to give thought to grouping like with like.

Whether you are a piler or a filer by nature, make sure you have a way to sort paperwork before it is out of control. Try hanging files or letter trays depending on your personality. For transparency's sake, I'm a piler who gets fed up from time to time and files. If you have magazines piling up, donate them to an elementary school, nursing home, or free clinic. Some libraries also accept donations. If there is an article you simply must keep, scan it or take a picture of it with a digital camera. The good news is once everything in your home has a place to go, it's very simple to keep a house tidy. Just get into the habit of putting your stuff away. Seriously, just picking up after yourself, putting shoes in the closet, laundry in a hamper, and trash in the proper receptacle will reduce the amount of time and energy needed to clean your house.

Horizontal surfaces attract junk, I don't know why. It's probably something Clausius, Gibbs, and Boltzmann never had to concern themselves with (yes, those are the guys behind that second law we just discussed). Perhaps their mothers or spouses should have given them a chance to observe the phenomenon in the wild — it would be better understood.

Putting your junk away reduces cleaning and sanitizing your home to a matter of removing dirt and germs. It takes thirty seconds to wipe down an empty counter but considerably longer to clear it, wipe it down, wait for it to dry, and then return the items before moving on to the next surface.

Secret No. 2: Each Home Has Its Cleaning Challenges

Why are some houses dirtier than others?

Many factors affect the amount of dirt and grime in a home. These factors go beyond the number of occupants and square footage and include:

• Heating and cooling system — forced air or radiant

• The age of the home — history is messy

• The type of flooring — carpet or hard surface

• The furniture — upholstered or leather

• The composition of the walls — Sheetrock or plaster.

It all plays a part. Dust and pollution enter through open doors and windows. Burning cheap candles can create soot. Frying, whether pan or deep, aerosols grease, allowing it to float and cling to walls or ceilings. In a small home, steam from showers has less room to disperse and clings to the walls. In humid climates, mold and mildew feel more at home. Whatever the reason, everyone has something to complain about.

The occupants of a household also offer different levels of dirt. Individuals under 4 feet (122cm) tall are more likely to smear jelly on the windows, or if it's the young couple smearing jelly, I really just don't want to know. The typical teenager brings a variety of interesting odors into the mix.

Smoking

Speaking of odors, smokers have their own set of cleaning issues. Smoke is sticky and clings to walls and ceilings; if the walls aren't washed on occasion, they will need to be painted more frequently. Additionally, smoking drastically increases the amount of dust and odors in a home. Smoke permeates fabric and upholstered furniture, making it difficult to rid a home of the smell.

Pets

Animals bring a whole new level of dirt into the mix, to say nothing of odors. If it's a cat, there's fur and cat litter to contend with. Dogs track in dirt, leave nose prints, and occasionally find something dead to roll in — hands down one of their most annoying traits. Birds? Even a parakeet can produce an amazing number of feathers and scatter its seed hulls to the four winds.

Size

Those with small living spaces soon find organization becomes a vital and ongoing effort. Those with larger homes have more surface area to clean.

The Chemistry of Cleaning

Choosing the right tool makes cleaning a home easier. Notice I didn't say more interesting; for that I rely on an MP3 player loaded with podcasts and music. Before we get started, it's time to take the Home-Ec 101 safety oath:

I solemnly swear to always read the label, test in an inconspicuous area, not feed the mogwai after midnight, and never mix chemicals without research.

Did you know certain combinations of household chemicals, such as chlorine bleach and ammonia, create a reaction that may have deadly consequences? (And here you thought chemistry was boring.) Sounds easy enough to avoid, right? The problem is bleach and ammonia show up in unexpected places. See Appendix B for a more complete list of household chemical combinations to avoid. Always read the labels of cleaning products, and reread them if they've been reformulated. Usually you can tell by labels screaming new or improved. Lastly, never store chemicals in unmarked containers. Appendix A has several recipes for mixing up your own household cleaning products. Clearly label these containers and always note if bleach or ammonia is present in the solution.

If you visit any big-box store, you may observe that cleaning products usually fill several aisles with a dizzying array of choice. Does anyone really need 172 products to clean a home? Nope, but then again, I didn't major in marketing.

Are some of these products more effective than others? Possibly, but a lot of it comes down to personal preference and that preference is based on habit, nostalgia, the scent, or even on marketing. When choosing a cleaning product, ask yourself:

• Does this product save enough time to justify the extra expense? This is actual man hours on the clock, not time that would otherwise be spent vegging out on the sofa.

• Is this product worth the environmental cost? Some disposable products may save time, but many are not recyclable and there is also an environmental cost in their production.

• Do I really need a different product for this task? Many products can be used in multiple areas of the home. A laminate counter is a laminate counter whether it is found in the kitchen or the bathroom. Porcelain is porcelain in the kitchen and the bathroom; the same goes for linoleum and hardwood.

• Is this product really better for the environment? There is no need to go out and purchase organic bamboo or cotton cleaning rags if you already have old T-shirts or towels at home.

• Is this product really safer because it's natural? Food for thought: Nightshade, strychnine, and hemlock are all perfectly natural.

Types of Cleaning Products

Did you know that any chemical used for cleaning can be called a detergent? This means that the term even applies to plain water. So if every cleaning product is a detergent, how does a consumer decide which cleaning products are right for which job? It helps to learn a little household chemistry. The next section is a brief rundown on the chemistry of some common household cleaning chemicals to help you make an informed decision when purchasing cleaners.

Chemistry Flashback

Pure water has a neutral pH of seven. Lemon juice is an acid with a low pH of two to three, while chlorine bleach, a common base, has a high pH of twelve. Solutions that contain acids are called acidic. Solutions that contain bases are called alkaline.

Soap. Soap is nothing more than fat that has been treated with a strong base. That fat may come from either animals or plants, so if you're vegetarian you may want to put some extra time into your label reading. Remember sodium tallowate is beef tallow (fat) treated with lye. Once fat, vegetable or animal, has been treated with a strong base (or saponified, as the chemists say), it develops some interesting properties. Part of the soap molecule is attracted to water and part of the same molecule is repelled by it. This allows the soap molecules to surround dirt and oils and suspend them in water or solution. The hardness of your water can significantly reduce the effectiveness of your soap. If lots of soap molecules are wasted by surrounding dissolved minerals in the water, there won't be as many available to clean the dirt off of a surface. Soaps vary from one to the next in their harshness, which is important to know because sometimes you actually want to leave some oils behind, on your hands and face for example. You can also find soaps that contain different amounts (or lack there of) of perfumes and dyes.

Solvent: A substance, usually a liquid, that can dissolve or disperse another substance.

This brings us to our next fancy word, surfactants. You've heard the axiom oil and water don't mix? Surfactants help reduce the surface tension of liquids, which actually makes it possible for the two to mix. When oil and water can occupy the same space, it is easier to remove grease from surfaces because the oils can come into solution — that's the watery part — and be wiped away. All soaps are, by nature, surfactants, but they aren't the only type that exists.

Degreasers, window cleaners, and multisurface cleaners. Degreasers are typically an alkaline solution containing surfactants. These are particularly useful for — wait for it — removing grease. You may recognize Pine-Sol, Formula 409, and Simple Green as examples.

Glass cleaners also tend to be mildly alkaline solutions containing ammonia, a surfactant; a solvent such as isopropyl (rubbing) alcohol; and perfume to mask the scents of the other chemicals. Glass cleaners and degreasers share a lot of the same territory, which explains multisurface cleaners.

Dusting. Dusting sprays and furniture polish are not interchangeable products, though they are sold in the same section of the cleaning aisle. Dusting sprays are used to wipe away dust; some dusting sprays contain electrostatically charged ingredients in an attempt to repel future dust. Furniture polish is used to restore moisture and prevent damage to the finish of wood furniture.

Water is perhaps the greatest multisurface cleaner ever invented, but no one will let me patent it.

Scouring powders. Scouring powders are powders that sand or scour away stains. Care must be taken when using these products, as some brands have more abrasive formulas than others and can damage some surfaces. Always read the label carefully and follow the manufacturer's instructions. Never use scouring powders on nonstick cookware. These products may be acidic or alkaline depending on their composition. Common brand names include Comet and Bar Keepers Friend. Always rinse a surface thoroughly after using a scouring powder to prevent a reaction with the next cleaning product.

Floor cleaner. Floor cleaners typically contain a combination of household chemicals specific to the type of floor for which they are designed, although most contain a degreaser or soap and surfactants. We'll delve further into these in chapter 3.

Food-Grade Products

If you want to use scouring powder on standard cookware, be sure to use a food-grade product — safe to use on utensils and food preparation surfaces.

Bathroom cleaner. Here you'll find glass cleaner, scouring powders, ladies' lingerie, and acid solvents. These cleaning products have a very low pH, which helps remove deposits from hard water, lime, and even scaling from urine — fun stuff! Toilet bowl cleaners and products designed to remove hard-water buildup all fall into this category. You may recognize brand names such as CLR (Calcium, Lime and Rust Remover) and Ty-D-Bol.

Disinfectants. We're entering controversial territory: It's time to talk disinfecting and sanitizing. It's controversial as "some" believe our hyperclean environments may be part of our population's growing problem with asthma and allergies. There are also myriad websites giving misleading advice about the disinfecting properties of white vinegar. Any chemical that can reduce the number of microorganisms on a surface can be legally described as a disinfecting agent. In many cases, white vinegar is adequate, but if someone in the home has a compromised immune system, you must choose an approved sanitizing agent and it must be used in a manner consistent with the manufacturer's guidelines. Applied improperly, some of the effectiveness of sanitizing agents could be compromised, and some biocides, such as tea tree oil applications at too low of a dilution, can actually drive antibiotic resistance in some bacteria. Remember, only a few chemicals meet the standards of a sanitizing agent, and even then, they must be at certain dilutions. The most commonly recommended sanitizer is chlorine bleach. Do not confuse sanitary with sterile. Sanitary implies the number of microorganisms have been reduced to within acceptable and safe limits. Sterile is used to describe methods that kill all microorganisms, such as for medical procedures.

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Excerpted from "Home-Ec 101"
by .
Copyright © 2011 Heather Solos.
Excerpted by permission of F+W Media, Inc..
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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