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CHAPTER 1

Braulio Wants His Car Back

When Pepe Luis asks me if I know someone who is selling a car cheap, an old cacharro he can drive to work, I tell him, "¡No jodas!, just take my wife's Plymouth until she can drive again." My wife is recovering from a sprained back she got at work. She does not have to spend so much time at home, but the lawyer told us we would get more money that way.

Pepe Luis and I are compadres. Twenty-two years ago, he stole six inner tubes from the truck repair shop where he worked outside Havana. We roped together the inner tubes and in the middle of the night pushed off the beach to paddle north until we were caught by the Gulf Stream. For five and a half days we drifted across the Straits of Florida. We made landfall in the Keys. The following year was the Mariel boatlift, so we could have come over in a real boat, but who would have guessed something like that was going to happen. That was also the year I met my wife in Miami and got married. Eleven months later, she gave birth to our son. I asked Pepe Luis to be the godfather. When you share a six-by-eight-foot raft for over five days with a man who helps you survive thirst and hunger and the fact that everywhere you turn there is only water and sly, you become closer than brothers. Maybe my wife does not understand, but I am telling you that is the way it is.

So I lend Pepe Luis the car. I tell him that I will need it back as soon as my wife can return to work.

He says. Sí, sí, sí and ¿Cómo no? and even No problems, an expression he says a lot now that he has decided to sound more American.

My wife yells at me for lending her car. I tell her that I lent it to Pepe Luis, but she does not care if I lent it to the Pope himself. She says that Pepe Luis is a thief who thinks that he is still in Cuba, where if you want anything you have to steal it. Then the lawyer calls and tells my wife that she can go back to work, and my wife says, "You see? Now I need the car." So I call Pepe Luis.

His wife answers the phone. Clara says that he is not there. I ask her to tell him that I will come by later in the week to pick up the car.

"What car?" she says.

"What do you mean 'what car'? How many cars do you have?"

"Bueno, I mean to say that Pepe Luis paid you for that car, no?"

"No, Pepe Luis did not pay me for that car. I lent it to him. It belongs to my wife, and I told him that she would need it back when she returned to work, which she is ready to do next week."

"I am very confused," Clara says.

I am not sure she understands me, or maybe she is making herself out to be the chiva loca, pretending not to know about the car.

"Please ask him to call me," I tell her. I am shaking my head when I hang up.

I wait through the rest of Tuesday and all of Wednesday, thinking that Pepe Luis is probably busy trying to find some form of substitute transportation. If you do not have a car, mi hermano, you are fried in this city because you cannot rely on the buses. Without a car, Pepe Luis could not work at the big construction projects all over town. So I understand. And I am willing to be patient.

On Thursday, I call him again. No one answers. Leave a message at the beep, he says on the answering machine, first in Spanish, then in his blenderized English.

"Pepe Luis? Braulio," I say. "I am calling because I need the car back. Remember, I told you ..." And I go into the whole story that I already told you and that I told Pepe Luis too, when I first lent him the car, but that for some reason, he is now pretending to have forgotten. My doctor tells me that my blood pressure is high and that I should avoid getting excited, but this business with Pepe Luis is starting to encojonarme.

I am a patient man. I run a paint and dry wall business. I hire day laborers when I have the work. Some of the men are dumber than a mashed plantain, so I am constantly wrestling with my temper. At home, I want to relax. After dinner, I help my wife with the dishes. Then I watch TV in the family room.

Thursday becomes Friday and Pepe Luis does not call. My wife says he is avoiding me. My son, Rafaelito, who is studying to be a policeman, tells me that we should go to Pepe Luis's house and demand the car back. He wants to wear his uniform, which is an apprentice uniform, not even a proper policeman uniform, but he thinks it will impress Pepe Luis.

So we drive to Pepe Luis's house. My wife's car is parked in the yard in front of the laundry Pepe Luis and I built last summer, next to the metal toolshed. He and I laid the concrete floor, and I myself built the two columns that hold up the roof that extends from the side of the house and hangs over the washer and dryer. And I am thinking, Chico, this has to be a misunderstanding. Pepe Luis will surely answer the door, or maybe his wife will answer it, and we will get the car back.

A chainlink fence surrounds the house and the yard. A wide gate opens to the driveway, where the car is parked, and a more narrow gate leads to a cement path that ends at the front door. The narrow gate is closed but not padlocked.

Rafaelito goes ahead of me and opens the gate. It squeaks like it needs oil. Dogs start barking. We stop and listen, but it sounds like the dogs are tied behind the house, so we walk to the front door. I can see lights inside. Someone is watching television. My son rings the doorbell. And as we wait, I am thinking that he looks like a proper authority in his uniform, even if it is an apprentice uniform. I will be very proud of him when he graduates as a policeman. And as I am thinking this, the television set goes silent and all the lights, one by one, go dark. No one comes to the door. I want to be patient, but I am finding it harder and harder not to become encojonado.

"Pepe Luis, it is me, Braulio!" I yell at the door.

My son says, "Let me do this, Pipo." He knocks like he is about to punch his fist through the door, and yells, "Open the door now! We've got you surrounded!"

I stop him, and say "¡Oye, oye! What do you think you are doing?"

We cup our faces against a window and try to peer inside the dark house. And while we are doing this, my wife's car shoots out of the driveway and down the street. By the time we turn around and run after it, it is at the stop sign. The rear lights glow red for an instant, the tires squeal, and the car disappears around the corner.

We jump in my son's car and try to follow it, but it is useless. And as we drive home, I am thinking, So this is the way you want it, cabrón. OK. No more Mr. Nice Guy.

Rafaelito and I agree to wait until 2:00 in the morning. He tells me that is the best time to catch a fugitive. I find the spare key to my wife's car and put it in my pocket. I try to nap, but I am too nervous, even after my wife makes me drink some herbal tea that she says is supposed to calm me.

At 2:00, Rafaelito drives me back to Pepe Luis's house. He parks his car down the street, and we walk the rest of the way. All the lights in the house are off. My wife's car is back in the yard. Rafaelito opens the gate, and it squeaks again. I hear the dogs bark, but I know that they are tied behind the house. Using the spare key, I plan to get into my wife's car and drive off quietly. I hate to do it this way, but Pepe Luis leaves me no choice.

Then two German shepherds come out from behind the house and Rafaelito and I run back to the sidewalk, close the gate, and keep running. The dogs are at the fence, barking loudly. The house lights go on.

We drive for half an hour. Rafaelito wants to return and try again, but I remind him that Pepe Luis wakes up very early and will probably not go back to sleep, not after this.

Saturday I have to reschedule a job because of this problem with the car. On top of that, I have to leave the house because I cannot stand my wife nagging me about how stupid I was to lend Pepe Luis the car in the first place. The last thing she tells me is that she is going to buy a Cadillac from Puchito Motors on Eighth Street — you know, the place with the big sign that says NO CREDIT? NO PROBLEMS! — and that I am going to have to pay for it if I do not get her car back before Monday. Even with the money from the workers' compensation, we are in no position to buy a Cadillac from Puchito or anywhere else.

Rafaelito and I agree to meet that evening to plan something else. We are running out of time.

I go home and wait for my son. My wife is giving me the long face, not talking to me. Around 7:00, Rafaelito comes in with a paper bag from the grocery.

"Pipo, I have the perfect plan," he says.

"For your sakes, it had better work," my wife yells from the bedroom, where she is watching one of her telenovelas. My son and I say nothing. Then he unwraps two huge steaks.

"I am not hungry," I tell him.

"This is not for us, it is for Pepe Luis's dogs."

"¡No jodas! You are going to feed steak to the dogs?"

"Yes, but wait until you see the seasoning."

I slip on my glasses and take the small box that he hands me and hold the box in the light, so I can read the label.

"There is enough there to knock out a horse for a week. Two horses," he says.

"I do not want to kill the dogs," I tell him.

And I watch my son coat both steaks with the drug that will make the dogs go to sleep, so we can open the gate and get my wife's car back, so my wife can stop nagging me and I can maybe rest tomorrow, Sunday, before it is time to go back to work on Monday.

A little after 1:00 in the morning we park Rafaelito's car near Pepe Luis's house. My son unwraps the steaks and carries them. The smell from the steaks must be very strong because the dogs run out to the front yard almost as soon as we get there. But before the dogs bark my son throws the steaks over the fence. He has a good arm and the steaks land near the dogs. The dogs sniff the meat. Each one runs off with a steak to lie at opposite ends of the front yard. They hold the meat under their front paws and tear at it with their teeth. Neither dog looks our way. Rafaelito notes the time on his watch and we walk back to his car.

My son and I sit in the dark, waiting for the drug to work on the dogs. Then he says, "OK," and we get out and walk back to Pepe Luis's house. At first I cannot see the dogs. When we get closer, I see that they are on the ground. Even when we reach the gate, they do not move.

"He locked the gate," Rafaelito says.

"What?"

"He locked the gate. Look, he closed the fence behind the car. He probably locked that too."

"I cannot go back without the car," I tell him.

"Just a few more minutes, Pipo." He runs back to his car and returns with a pair of bolt cutters.

"I borrowed these from the police academy," he says. "I thought we would need them. When I open the fence, you can drive Mima's car out."

I feel proud of my son as I watch him cut through the padlock and open the fence. "OK," I tell him before he runs back to his car. I unlock the door of my wife's car as quietly as I can when an alarm goes off and the headlights start to flash on and off.

"¡Cooooñoooo!" I yell, but I cannot hear myself because the alarm is loud enough to wake the dead. I get in and slam the door and put the car in reverse when Pepe Luis comes running out of his house in his pajamas. I press the accelerator, but something is not letting the car move, and a lot of dust falls into the glare of the flashing headlights.

Pepe Luis lunges at my door. I lock it just in time, as he slaps at it. Then he runs behind the car and stands there, waving his hands in the air, yelling something that I cannot hear because of the alarm. I check the parking brake, put the car in reverse, and press the accelerator. The car lunges back. Pepe Luis leaps out of the way. And as I am pulling out of the driveway, I see the front bumper of my wife's car on the ground, a long thick chain wrapped around the bumper and around one of the columns that held up the roof over the laundry. The column is broken, the roof has collapsed over the washer and dryer, and dust is everywhere.

The rear bumper hits the street. I turn the steering wheel so much that I almost back up onto the curb. I put the car in drive and am about to accelerate again when Pepe Luis jumps on the hood. He is yelling. The alarm is blaring. And I am truly encojonado now because I know that replacing the bumper is going to cost me an eye.

I press the accelerator and go as fast as I can with Pepe Luis on the hood. The alarm has not stopped and the headlights are still flashing. I zigzag down the street to shake Pepe Luis off, but he hangs on, clenching his mouth. The crucifix at the end of the plastic rosary that my wife wrapped around the rearview mirror swings wildly.

I turn onto a street that ends in a canal and accelerate. I am going to get rid of this cabrón, once and for all. Before I get to the end, I brake hard. Pepe Luis goes flying into the water, and I turn the steering wheel as far as it will go, but it is too late. The lights of the house at the end of the street fly across the windshield. I hear the tires screech and a thump. Then the car tilts to the side and slides roughly down the embankment into the canal.

The car floats long enough for me to roll down the window and climb out. I am trying to swim, when I hear water gushing in through the open window and fill the inside of the car. The water laps over the hood and against the windshield. Soon, all I can see of the car are the trunk and the rear lights, still blinking, before they too go underwater. The alarm sounds muted as the car sinks deeper into the dark canal.

I am trying to swim with my work shoes on, the ones with the steel toes, but I can barely stay afloat. Then I hear someone panting. It is Pepe Luis. And I get all encojonado again and start to call him every name I can think of, starting with the letter A I see that Pepe Luis is shouting at me too, but I cannot hear him because I am working my way down the alphabet, through one insult after another. I am at the letter G when I think that here we are, Pepe Luis and me, two middle-aged men, once again treading water, trying to stay afloat, in the middle of the night.

I pull myself out of the canal and stand, feeling like I weigh a million pounds because of the wet clothes, when my son drives up and, after him, a couple of police cars. They take us all to the station, even my son.

Inside the station everything is cold. Nobody says anything to us, except to wait here. My clothes are still wet, and I start to shiver. Then a police officer takes us to a room where a sergeant is writing at a metal desk.

Although the sergeant does not ask us anything, Pepe Luis starts to talk. The police officer brings a finger to his lips and shushes him, but Pepe Luis keeps talking. The sergeant prints neatly on the form and does not look up. I have to hand it to Pepe Luis, he can talk his way out of anything. But then he always goes too far.

He says that his wife is a Santería priestess, a very powerful one, but that she was never good at aiming her spells. This is the first time I hear that his wife is a Santería anything. The sergeant stops writing and looks at Pepe Luis, who has his head down, like he is examining the linoleum floor for gaps.

So last night, Pepe Luis says, his wife was casting a spell, something she does only while he is asleep because she knows that he does not like it when she does Santería. He is a devout Catholic, he says with such a cara dura that I manage not to roll my eyes. The spell was meant to go to Cuba, he says. You know, to Fidel, but with his wife having such bad aim a little of the spell must have splashed on him while he was sleeping in the bedroom because one minute he was dreaming and the next he was sitting up in bed, then standing, a red-hot itching all over his body. And here Pepe Luis stands on one leg, then the other, pretending to scratch his chest and thighs, to show the sergeant and the police officer how hot the spell was that his Santería wife cast. He was not thinking, he says, about anything except cooling off when he ran out of the house and drove into the canal. "¡Qué va!" Pepe Luis says, looking at the officer now, the spell was so hot that when he fell into the water steam rose all around him. He was lucky that his good friend Braulio showed up to help him. And here Pepe Luis slings a bony arm around me.

I turn to Rafaelito and hope he says something, anything, because I see myself spending the night leaning against the wall of a jail cell, while Pepe Luis sleeps soundly on the floor. My son gets the message and starts to talk, but the sergeant asks him to step into another room for a moment. And while we wait, Pepe Luis does not say anything, and neither do I, which is fine with me because it is only a few moments before Rafaelito comes back and says, "OK, Pipo, we can go."

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Excerpted from "The Last Flight of José Luis Balboa"
by .
Copyright © 2006 Gonzalo Barr.
Excerpted by permission of Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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