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CHAPTER 1

How to Begin Unpacking

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."

MATTHEW 11:28

Wherefore, if anyone is weary, if any is in prison, if anyone is in captivity, if anyone is in the wilderness, let him come to the blessed Jesus, who is as the shadow of a great rock in a weary land. Delay not, arise and come away.

JONATHAN EDWARDS

I have never met Jennifer Thompson. She is from North Carolina; I grew up in Iowa. We do have this in common: in 1984 we were both working hard to graduate from college. So as contemporaries we must share some of the same memories. I assume college students in North Carolina listened to the same music we heard in Iowa: "Footloose" by Kenny Loggins, "Against All Odds" by Phil Collins, stuff like that. Styles were probably similar, though I suspect that we were a little behind in the Midwest. Fashion had a hard time finding us in the cornfields.

Then again, there's a lot that Jennifer Thompson and I didn't have in common. She maintained a 4.0 grade point average. My successes in college had more to do with an intramural basketball team called the Squids. Jennifer Thompson was Homecoming Queen. At our Homecoming, I was awarded the title of Grand Lemming. It's a long story and not as glamorous as if I had been Homecoming King, though they did play "Hail to the Chief" whenever I came into a room. Like I said, it would take a while to explain.

Still, Jennifer Thompson and I are contemporaries, and when I read her heartbreaking story, it makes me remember those days of working on resumés and trying to get job interviews or to be accepted into graduate programs. And my heart so goes out to her: to have so much ahead of you, and then to have someone do something so evil to you ... I can't imagine.

It is hard to even write about this, but here it is. One night in 1984 a man broke into Jennifer Thompson's apartment, held a knife to her throat, and raped her.

It might have finished her. But Jennifer Thompson was a determined young lady. Even in the midst of her ordeal, she studied her assailant's face looking for tattoos or scars, anything she could use to identify him. She resolved, "When and if I survived the attack, I was going to make sure that he was put in prison and he was going to rot." Within a few days she identified her rapist from a series of police photos. She picked out the same man from a lineup. Courageously, Jennifer Thompson put her hand on a Bible and testified in court. Based on her testimony, Ronald Cotton was sentenced to prison for life.

Jennifer Thompson celebrated. Now she was rid of her luggage. Ready to go on with life. Or maybe not. Jennifer could not have anticipated the weight of the baggage that she would carry through years of her life because of what happened that horrible night in 1984.

Jesus' Invitation

How about you? Are you carrying baggage through life? Are questions and wounds weighing you down? Maybe your baggage contains abuse or divorce or unfaithfulness or mistakes you have made. If so, are you learning how to unpack the baggage that comes with those wounds and to deal with them so they do not continue to affect how you relate to people today?

If that is where you are, meditate with your heart and mind on the invitation of the Lord Jesus Christ: "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest" (Matthew 11:28).

Here is help for the hurting. Jesus extends a special invitation to those who are being crushed under a load of brokenness. In the original context, Jesus offered rest to people burdened by an intricate religious system. The Pharisees of the first century had developed a complex set of rules. The rules began with the goal of helping people to be more righteous, but in the end they focused on minutiae and neglected the more important matters of justice, mercy, and faithfulness (Matthew 23:23). Jesus said that the Pharisees were straining gnats from their beverages while guzzling down camels. And all the attention to religious trivia wore people out (Matthew 23:4, 24).

The baggage of broken relationships can be every bit as fatiguing as the religious system of the Pharisees. Are you haunted by your relationship with your father or mother? Do you feel constant guilt about a broken marriage? Are you filled with bitterness over abuse you endured? Or hopelessly disillusioned by your own failures? If so, Jesus invites you to come to him. He will give you rest. Real rest.

* * *

Unbelievably, two years after Ronald Cotton was sentenced to life in prison, he was granted another trial. Still determined that justice be done, Jennifer Thompson took the stand again. This time the defense brought in another suspect. She testified that she had never seen him. Again Ronald Cotton was convicted and sentenced to life in prison. And again Jennifer Thompson relished the justice.

Eleven years passed. Jennifer Thompson got married and had triplets. She was now well past the nightmare of 1984. But once more she was asked to assist the prosecution. This time they asked her to provide a blood sample for DNA. She agreed, confident that it would only solidify the case against Ronald Cotton.

And then the unthinkable happened.

A police detective and the district attorney knocked on Jennifer Thompson's front door. They told her that DNA testing had proven that Ronald Cotton was not her assailant. Bobby Poole (the man she testified she had never seen before in her life) was the man who had raped her.

Jennifer Thompson helped send the wrong man to prison. Her testimony had stolen eleven years of freedom from Ronald Cotton. She was devastated. "How do I give someone back eleven years?" she asked the district attorney.

Now in addition to the nightmare of having been raped, Jennifer Thompson had to drag around the luggage of her own guilt. She would wrestle with that burden for years.

As I pointed out in the Introduction, forgiveness questions can get so complicated. How do you unpack luggage like Jennifer Thompson's? Maybe your problems seem just as complex and hopeless. It feels as though there are no answers. If that's where you are, I would say to you that there are answers. You don't have to be naive to believe that. A great ending can be written to your story.

You might answer, "Well, I'm not sure I can believe that." Here is what you can do. Fix your eyes on the majestic loveliness of the One who extends an invitation to those who are weary and heavy-burdened. Get this: this One is God himself. He is the "Wonderful Counselor" (Isaiah 9:6). The word translated "Wonderful" is used in Scripture to describe miracles (Exodus 3:20; 15:11). "Counselor" refers to a giver of the kind of wisdom that helps in guidance and planning (Proverbs 11:14; 24:6). Jesus, who offers you rest, is wonderfully wise, the Lord of awesome answers, the God of incredible insight and godly guidance. He will lead you perfectly through the minefields of your broken relationships if you will come to him.

Nothing gets me more fired up about the glory of Christ than witnessing him as he unties the tightest knots and heals the deepest wounds in human hearts. In a newspaper article with the title "Even the Perfect Witness Can Make a Mistake," Helen O'Neill told the story of how Jennifer Thompson moved forward in life.

For two years after [learning that Cotton was innocent] Jennifer Thompson never stopped feeling ashamed.

Over and over she wondered: How could she have made such a terrible mistake?

And what of the man whose life she had ruined? All those years, locked away from his family. Now that he was free, did he hate her as much as she hated herself?

Then one day she stopped crying. She knew exactly what to do.

A few weeks later, she drove 50 miles to a church in the town where she was raped.

She had prayed for the strength to face this moment. She had prayed for the strength to face Ronald Cotton.

"I'm sorry," she said. "If I spent every day for the rest of my life telling you how sorry I am, it wouldn't come close to what I feel."

Ronald Cotton was calm and quiet.

Finally he spoke.

"I'm not mad at you," he said softly. "I've never been mad at you. I just want you to have a good life."

For two hours they sat and talked while their families paced outside. They talked about the pitfalls of memory, the power of faith, the miracle of DNA. They talked about Bobby Poole.

"We were both his victims," Cotton said, and Thompson nodded in agreement.

As dusk fell, they made their way out of the church. In the parking lot, their families weeping, Jennifer Thompson and Ronald Cotton embraced.

In the article, there is a picture of Ronald Cotton and Jennifer Thompson sitting on a park bench. They are both smiling in a way that could not be faked, the smiles of people at peace with one another and at peace with themselves, free from weighty burdens.

You might ask, how was Ronald Cotton able to forgive the woman who had wrongly accused him? That in itself is an amazing story. In prison, Ronald Cotton hated Bobby Poole, the man who actually had committed the crime. Cotton made a blade out of a piece of metal and planned to kill Poole. But his father pleaded with him not to do it. He told him that if he killed Bobby Poole, he would be like him. Instead his father encouraged him to turn to Christ. And Ronald Cotton did. He found that Jesus was the One who could and would unpack the burdens pressing down on him. Because Ronald Cotton had himself received the gracious forgiveness of his Heavenly Father, he was able to forgive Jennifer Thompson graciously. Worn-out and broken, carrying the burden of being convicted for a crime he had not committed, Ronald Cotton turned to Jesus and found a Savior who was more lovely and gracious and gentle than he could have ever imagined. And the brilliant light of Christ shone through his own life so that he could in turn demonstrate Christ's grace to Jennifer Thompson.

* * *

Along with his matchless wisdom as Wonderful Counselor, the Lord Jesus Christ is also "Mighty God" (Isaiah 9:6). Jesus rules with complete power. There is nothing he cannot accomplish. Think of what a tremendous combination his almighty power is with his wonderful wisdom. Not only does Jesus always know the right thing to do, he can always do it. Nothing in heaven or hell could ever thwart his purposes. If God be for us, who can be against us (Romans 8:31)? Jesus can do for you what he did for Ronald Cotton and Jennifer Thompson.

Think again of the invitation of Jesus. This time, read the following two verses as well.

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:28–30)

Just for a moment now, block out all your concerns about whatever fight you may face at home or at church or in the world. Consider Christ even more deeply. Even as I have reminded you that he is the Wonderful Counselor and Almighty God, notice that when Jesus invites you to come to him, he describes himself as "gentle and lowly in heart." Though he is supremely exalted, Christ is not a vindictive taskmaster who would rub your face in your mistakes and beat you down over your failures. Such a combination isn't possible in the Savior of the Bible! He stands ready to help. He is gentle and humble in heart. Why would you not accept his invitation to unload the weight of your burdens?

How to Accept Jesus' Invitation

But wait. Before you accept Jesus' offer to find rest, read the invitation closely. Jesus does not invite worn-out people to take a nap. Nor does he suggest that if we will chant a one-time prayer, refreshment will be granted automatically. No; Jesus says to assume his yoke and learn from him. Jesus invites those who need rest to come work with him.

Jesus' offer of discovering rest by means of a yoke is a paradox. A yoke is a harness used for labor. You might legitimately ask, how in taking on Jesus' equipment would I find rest? The answer is, as we follow Jesus and learn from him, the Holy Spirit graciously operates in our lives. This is how we who are weak can move forward — not in our strength, but in his. This is the kind of thing that Paul pointed to in Philippians 2:12–13 when he said, "Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure." The reason Paul told the Philippians to work out their salvation with fear and trembling is that when they do, God will graciously work in and through them. God works in and through us as we cooperate with his gracious work in our lives.

A sailing illustration might help make this point. Suppose you are in a boat and you have to travel an incredible distance. And to further complicate things, you don't even know there is such a thing as sailing.

What would you do? You would try and propel the boat in all kinds of futile ways. You might lie on your stomach and paddle over the side. If you were a little more creative, you might use a stick as an oar and row in circles. But soon you would be worn-out and frustrated.

But then imagine that someone stepped onto your boat and said, "I see that you are exhausted. How about I teach you how to get somewhere?" He would then show you how to raise a sail and catch the wind.

You get the picture. Sailing is still hard work. There is a reason that sailors like Popeye have big forearms. But it is not futile hard work. Hoist a sail into the breeze, and soon you are gliding forward in a strength that is beyond yourself.

This is the invitation that Jesus gives. Are you tired of trying to work your way through forgiveness with one oar? Are you worn-out from trying to paddle with your hands? Come and sail in the wind of his strength. Soon you will be gliding forward in the breeze of his grace.

Of course, that brings us to the question, how do I work in such a way that God gives me strength and grace? How specifically do I assume the yoke of Jesus and learn from him? How do I raise a sail into the breeze of God's strength? The answer to how is that God works in our lives through certain appointed means. Sometimes theologians call these "means of grace." Means of grace are how God pours out his grace into the life of a Christian. These means of grace include his Word, prayer, fellowship with other believers, and worship. When you participate in any of these means of grace, you hoist your sail into the wind of God's love and favor. If you have been trying to work through forgiveness without consistent involvement in the means of grace, you are only paddling with your hands.

The way to accept Christ's invitation to find rest is to be in his Word, to listen to biblical preaching, to pray, and to be sharpened by other Christians. While at first it may seem like you are moving only a bit, before long you will be sailing forward, ridding yourself of the baggage that weighs you down.

You may object at this point, "I have already tried the Christian way of unpacking my burdens, and it didn't really work. I tried Jesus! He didn't give me rest."

Did you really? Did you really assume Jesus' yoke, his instrument of work, and learn from him?

• Have you been involved consistently in a local church where the Bible is preached? Have you participated in Sunday school or small groups or whatever Christian education opportunities your church offers?

• Do you pray consistently in a disciplined way? I'm not just talking about praying in the car on the way to work. Have you really gotten down on your knees and earnestly prayed?

• Are you involved in a Christian community or fellowship? Are you sharing your life with other Christians?

• Do you worship Christ on a regular basis? Do you take part in Christ-centered worship and listen to Christ-centered preaching? Have you identified with Christ in baptism? Do you faithfully participate in observing the Lord's Supper at your church?

These means of grace are how we take Christ's yoke upon us and learn from him. Christ's way of unpacking forgiveness is not three easy steps. It is a way of life, following Jesus, learning from him, being involved in his church, hearing his Word preached. Apart from consistent involvement in these disciplines, you are trying to paddle with a stick. And that just won't work.

Conclusion

The most important line in Jennifer Thompson's story is this one: "Then one day [Jennifer] stopped crying. She knew exactly what to do." She took action. Jennifer Thompson was able to unpack her baggage because shemade a decision to deal with it. How about you? Are you ready to decide? Are you ready to accept the invitation that Jesus offers? Be assured that everything you want in a Savior is found in Jesus! Why not take action — take on his yoke and learn from the "Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace"? Why not determine to cooperate with his grace in your life. My goal in this book is to help you do just that. Together let's drench ourselves in the Word. Let's prayerfully learn from him so we can unpack the baggage that weighs us down.

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Excerpted from "Unpacking Forgiveness"
by .
Copyright © 2008 Chris Brauns.
Excerpted by permission of Good News Publishers.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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