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VOYASeventeen-year-old Ted Burger is convinced that he is dying. He is so convinced that he and his friends are on a mission to complete the ten things he wants to do before he dies. It began as a list of things to do over spring break, but after he suspects that his French fries have been poisoned, the list becomes far more important in light of his imminent demise. Several items involve a punk rock band called Shakes the Clown, of which Ted is a rabid fan. As Ted races around the city attempting to accomplish his To Do list, he learns some lessons about life, including that idol worship is not all it is cracked up to be, that friends are not always who you believe they are, and that revenge is not always sweet. This book wants to be a chatty, funny, fast-paced look at life and death. Unfortunately it tries too hard to be all of those things. The reader never really cares about any of the characters because even though life lessons are pitched at them left and right, they never seem to catch them. The implausible plot is filled with frantic trips to the airport, limo rides from the Bronx, and a coffee-table-dancing prostitute. This book does not have that spark that will draw readers in and keep them reading. VOYA CODES: 2Q 3P S (Better editing or work by the author might have warranted a 3Q; Will appeal with pushing; Senior High, defined as grades 10 to 12). 2004, Delacorte, 224p., and Ages 15 to 18.