101 Conversation Starters for Couples

101 Conversation Starters for Couples

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by Gary Chapman, Ramon L. Presson

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Your spouse is a unique person, filled with amazing insights, thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Communication is key to really knowing and fully loving that person.

Bestselling author and marriage counselor Gary Chapman has developed this handy tabletop resource to get you and your spouse talking. With 101 probing questions, couples will find their


Your spouse is a unique person, filled with amazing insights, thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Communication is key to really knowing and fully loving that person.

Bestselling author and marriage counselor Gary Chapman has developed this handy tabletop resource to get you and your spouse talking. With 101 probing questions, couples will find their relationship enhanced, their intimacy deepened, and their romance ignited. 101 Conversation Starters for Couples is the perfect companion to the bestselling book, The 5 Love Languages®. It also makes an excellent Valentines Day, wedding, and anniversary gift. It helps you and your spouse get the conversation flowing.

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101 Conversation Starters for Couples

By Gary Chapman, Ramon Presson

Northfield Publishing

Copyright © 2012 Gary Chapman & Ramon Presson
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-0-8024-8356-0


question 1

What are two things that happened today, and how did you feel about them?

question 2

What were some of your favorite toys as a child? What was your favorite candy?

question 3

Describe the home of one or both sets of your grandparents.

question 4

What was something you really wanted but were not allowed to own as a child or teen?

question 5

Describe one of your favorite elementary school teachers. Then describe a favorite high school teacher or college professor.

question 6

As you were growing up, what was unique about your family as compared to other families in your neighborhood or the families of your friends?

question 7

What was your most serious physical injury as a child or teen?

question 8

What do you remember about learning to drive?

question 9

Can you recall visiting your parents' workplace? If so, describe it and how you felt when you went there.

question 10

Complete this sentence: "I'm sure my mom and dad wish I would...."

question 11

What is perhaps the worst movie you have ever seen?

question 12

What tragic news story in the last few years made you particularly sad?

question 13

What was one of the most memorable weddings (other than your own) that you have attended?

question 14

What is something you collected as a child or teen?

question 15

What is a question that you wish you had the courage to ask your mother and/or father?

question 16

If you were given five acres of land, where would you want it to be and what would you want to do with it?

question 17

If you could own and operate your own business (and be guaranteed of its success), what would it be?

question 18

If you do not play a musical instrument, what one do you wish you could play? If you do/did play a musical instrument, do you recall how you chose that particular one?

question 19

What would you say are two of the best concerts you have seen, either in person or on video or film?

question 20

What are two of your all-time favorite movies (or books)?

question 21

My mother/father clearly did not understand what was considered cool when she/he bought me....

question 22

What famous person (deceased) would you like to have met?

question 23

Which of the following would you find most gratifying?

[] earning a PhD

[] publishing a bestselling book

[] recording an original chart-topping song

[] winning an Olympic gold medal

question 24

If money and/or child care were no object, what would be your idea of the perfect New Year's Eve?

question 25

Who is one of the most genuinely spiritual persons you know?

question 26

How do you think the world has changed since September 11, 2001?

question 27

Which of the following rides would be your first choice?

[] a gondola in Venice

[] a cab in London

[] a Ferrari on the autobahn

[] a hot air balloon in Switzerland

[] an airboat in the Everglades

[] a raft down the Colorado River

[] a carriage in Paris

question 28

What is one of your favorite memories that includes snow?

question 29

Who was your favorite superhero or cartoon character?

question 30

If someone could bless you and pass on to you a special ability, who would you choose to bless you and with what ability?

question 31

Who is the most joyful person you know?

question 32

Who is someone you wish you could infect with a more positive attitude?

question 33

Complete this sentence: "It would make me a better person if I were more like you in the way you...."

question 34

When in your life would you say your self-esteem was the lowest?

question 35

Recall a time when you were given constructive criticism that proved beneficial.

question 36

The lion, beaver, otter, and golden retriever are used to describe four personality types. Which one do you think best describes you?

[] Lion: strong, confident, leader, likes to make sure things get done

[] Beaver: detail oriented, organized, follows instructions, good with projects

[] Otter: very outgoing, enjoys people, humorous, creative

[] Golden Retriever: loyal, sensitive, encouraging

question 37

If you could hire Martha Stewart for a day, what would you have her do?

question 38

Regardless of how long I live, I hope I will always....

question 39

"It is more blessed to give than to receive." Recall a gift that gave you considerable satisfaction in presenting it.

question 40

Describe the location and three features of your dream home.

question 41

Who would you most like to hear one of the following from?

"I love you."

"I support you."

"I respect you."

"I appreciate you."

"I miss you."

"I trust you."

question 42

In retrospect, what is something that your parents were wise in doing in raising you?

question 43

What was your most/least favorite subject in school?

question 44

If you could take a course in any subject right now at your local college, what type of course would it be?

question 45

In what way are you most/least like your mother? How are you most/least like your father?

question 46

In Matthew 6:34, Jesus encourages us to live with faith in the present.

Which is the greater obstacle for you?

[] dwelling on the past

[] worrying about the future

question 47

Who was your best friend in junior high school? What did you do together?

question 48

As I was growing up, my father was most like

[] a coach

[] an historian

[] a preacher

[] a cheerleader

[] a judge

[] a professor

[] a manager

[] other______________

question 49

If you inherited $200,000 (after taxes), what would you do with the money?

question 50

Name three jobs or careers you are definitely not suited for.

question 51

Describe your pediatrician when you were growing up.

What do you remember about those doctor visits?

question 52

Concerning what biblical topic or Bible passage (or verse) do you wish you had a better understanding?

question 53

What do you think that you will want to do in your retirement years?

question 54

Acts 2:42-47 describes a close, caring community. In what setting have you had the greatest experience of genuine fellowship?

[] friends at school [] job where I worked [] sports team

[] support group [] church-related group

[] volunteer organization

[] ministry/mission team [] fraternity/sorority

[] other______________

question 55

What item of clothing in my wardrobe do you really like to see me wear?

question 56

What is a song or piece of music that moves or inspires you?

question 57

What quality or skill that you possess would you find most gratifying to have your child imitate as an adult?

question 58

If you could win any competition in the world, what would it be?

question 59

What nonbiblical historical event would you like to have witnessed?

question 60

Name the Old Testament event that you wish you could have witnessed.

Name the New Testament event (in addition to the resurrection) that you wish you could have witnessed.

question 61

In TV's The Andy Griffith Show, Barney Fife once told Andy that the biggest purchase he ever made was a septic tank for his parents' wedding anniversary. What gift would you like to give to your parents?

question 62

What is something you thoroughly enjoyed doing as a child and have not done in years?

question 63

Richard Foster says that our lives are bombarded by hurry, crowds, and noise. Which of those three has been most bothersome for you lately?

question 64

Complete this sentence: "A time that I felt I might be in physical danger was when...."

question 65

In what event would you most like to win an Olympic gold medal?

question 66

Recall a time when you were disappointed in not being chosen.

question 67

I wish I could hire ____________ to write and record a song from me to you.

question 68

I think I would crack under the torture if I were forced to listen to only ____________ music all day and could only eat ____________ meals all day.

question 69

If we were to adopt a child from another country, which country would it be?

question 70

As a couple we make a great team, but it is most unlikely that we would ever team up to....

[] win a mixed-doubles tennis championship

[] sing a duet

[] win a medal in couples figure skating

[] be co-leaders (main speakers) of a nationally televised marriage seminar

[] compete in a ballroom dancing competition

[] operate a bed & breakfast

[] co-author a book entitled Stress-Free Parenting

question 71

Imagine that your internal dashboard has a spiritual passion gauge on it. What is your present reading?

E _______

¼ _______

½ _______

¾ _______

F _______

question 72

What is the worst or most unusual job interview you ever had?

question 73

The circus act that most reminds me of my job is....

question 74

What is your most/least favorite trait in others?

question 75

What kind of race best describes your last seven days?

[] BOSTON MARATHON It seemed to last forever.

[] TOUR DE FRANCE I was pedaling uphill as fast as I could.

[] KENTUCKY DERBY I worked for so long on something that was over so quickly.

[] INDIANAPOLIS 500 I went round and round, and I'm right where I started.

[] IRONMAN TRIATHLON I endured a week full of job, family, and church activities.

[] 24 HOURS OF LE MANS Sleep? What's that?

[] HUNDRED-METER HIGH HURDLES All I did was sprint and navigate obstacles.

[] DEMOLITION DERBY I feel beat up.

question 76

Talk about your early experiences with someone of another race or nationality.

question 77

Describe a summer camp experience.

question 78

What is your favorite animated film?

question 79

When you were growing up, where did your family go on vacations? Describe one of those vacations.

question 80

Can you remember a time when you got lost or separated from your family or companions? Describe what happened and how you felt.

question 81

Recall a time when you got sick at a very inopportune time.

question 81

What high school or college course would you rather flee the country than be forced to take again?

question 83

Can you recall a first date during which you immediately knew there would not be a second date?

question 84

Select and describe a couple who were friends with your parents when you were growing up.

question 85

Recall a childhood memory about one of the following:

• playing in a creek

• playing in a tree house

• catching fireflies

• running a lemonade stand

• pretending to be a superhero

• a slumber party or sleepover

• jumping off the high dive

question 86

Describe your parents' reaction on the day you moved out or left for college.

question 87

Recall something special about your high school or college graduation.

question 88

What is your favorite scene from your favorite movie?

question 89

I thought it was one of the coolest items in my wardrobe at the time, but today I'm not sure I'd even wear it to a costume party. What is it?

question 90

Something I wanted to quit but my parents wouldn't let me was....

question 91

Joseph's brothers sold him into slavery. If you have siblings, what was one of the meanest things done to you by a brother or sister? If you are an only child, what was one of the meanest things done to you by a friend?

question 92

Describe someone you encountered recently who probably needs God in his or her life.

question 93

If you were offered the opportunity to be one of the contestants on Survivor, would you do it? If yes, what do you imagine would be the hardest thing for you to cope with?

question 94

One of the descendants of King Saul was named Mephibosheth. Do you like your first name? If you could choose another first name for yourself, what would it be?

question 95

In the movie The Karate Kid, young Daniel is befriended by an old Japanese man who teaches him karate, but more importantly offers him kindness and encouragement. Name an older person who blessed you with kindness and encouragement.

question 96

What is one of your favorite stories that your parents tell about you?

question 97

In the movie Groundhog Day, Bill Murray kept waking up only to repeat the same day over and over again. What recent day would you not want to repeat?

question 98

What old photograph of yourself makes you really laugh or cringe in embarrassment?

question 99

Recall something about exchanging valentines when you were in elementary school.

question 100

Congratulations! Your boss just gave everyone a spring break. Where do you want to go?

question 101

What is something that occurred this past year that you are especially thankful for?


Excerpted from 101 Conversation Starters for Couples by Gary Chapman, Ramon Presson. Copyright © 2012 Gary Chapman & Ramon Presson. Excerpted by permission of Northfield Publishing.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Meet the Author

GARY CHAPMAN--author, speaker, counselor--has a passion for people and for helping them form lasting relationships. He is the #1 bestselling author of The 5 Love Languages series and director of Marriage and Family Life Consultants, Inc. Gary travels the world presenting seminars, and his radio programs air on more than 400 stations. For more information visit his website at www.5lovelanguages.com.

RAMON PRESSON, PhD, a licensed marriage&family therapist, has been in practice for 30 years and is the founder of LifeChange Counseling and Marriage Center of Franklin www.LifeChangeCS.org. He is a newspaper columnist; and with a dozen books in print he is the most published practicing therapist in Tennessee. He is a charter member of the American Association of Christian Counselors. From 1989 to 2004 Presson served as an assistant pastor in large churches in North Carolina, South Carolina, Florida, and Tennessee. Ramon has had the unique privilege to serve on staff with and later co-author several books with Dr. Gary Chapman. He is currently co-authoring the teen edition of When Will My Life Not Suck? Authentic Hope for the Disillusioned with his 17-year-old son, Cameron. Ramon and his wife, Dorne, have been married for 28 years, have two sons, and live outside Nashville. He can be reached at ramonpresson@gmail.com.
RAMON PRESSON, a clinically certified marriage and family therapist, is the founder of LifeChange Counseling Services and the Marriage Center of Franklin www.LifeChangeCS.org. A newspaper columnist and author of numerous books, Ramon makes his home outside of Nashville with his wife, Dorrie, and two sons. For more information visit www.ramonpresson.

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101 Conversation Starters for Couples 2 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 4 reviews.
J4Life5 More than 1 year ago
Marriage experts Gary Chapman and Ramon Presson developed 101 questions that couples can use on a date night, at dinner, or whenever they have a quiet moment together. These questions can trigger thoughts, feelings, or memories to help couples draw closer together. When I first saw this book, I thought it was a cute little book. It is not very large at all, which makes it easy to carry around - on shopping trips, in the car on road trips, or in your purse on a night out to dinner. As I thumbed through the pages, I noticed the way it was organized with one question per page, with a green colored background and vague images of beautiful scenes behind the questions. The appearance is very peaceful. As I read through the questions, I thought how I would answer them and wondered how my spouse would answer them. Some I already knew the answer to, but some I did not, which made me excited to ask him. So I started asking him some of the questions and it lead to a nice conversation. I carried the book with us as we did some shopping and it made the time in the car fly by quickly. I think this is a good book to help couples get out the the grind of daily communication. Sometimes we fall into daily conversations of, "What did you do today?" or "What do we have to do tomorrow?" or "Are we working in the yard this weekend?" It can get boring when verbal interactions follow the same pattern. I also think this book is helpful in exploring new or revisiting old territory. When dating or newly married, we talk for hours to our partner, even staying up all night sometimes. Then it is easy to get into a routine and before you know it, interactions are predictable. This book could break up the routine. Overall, I think this is a good book. I have seen other books in the past that are similar, but this one is quite nice and very affordable. It would make a nice gift for a newly married couple, a couple that is struggling to connect, a couple who are empty-nesters, or a newly retired couple spending more time together after years of working. If you are a part of a couple that needs to improve communication, buy it as a gift to yourself. I received a copy of this book from Moody Publishing House in exchange for my honest review. All opinions are my own.
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Anonymous More than 1 year ago
22 -7 JAN - MAR ( 23,24,25,2,6,27,30,31,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16, 17,18,19,20,21,22,23,24,25,26,27,28,1,2,3,4,5,6,7) 1MONTH 11DAYS