101 Healing Stories for Kids and Teens: Using Metaphors in Therapy


This much-anticipated companion to the popular 101 Healing Stories: Using Metaphors in Therapy artfully guides the reader through the effective therapeutic process of storytelling with children and teens. In 101 Healing Stories for Kids and Teens, George Burns provides pragmatic advice and detailed guidelines to presenting oral,visual, and play-based metaphors in therapy and offers techniques for working with child-generated metaphors as well as demonstrating how to create your own healing stories for children ...

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This much-anticipated companion to the popular 101 Healing Stories: Using Metaphors in Therapy artfully guides the reader through the effective therapeutic process of storytelling with children and teens. In 101 Healing Stories for Kids and Teens, George Burns provides pragmatic advice and detailed guidelines to presenting oral,visual, and play-based metaphors in therapy and offers techniques for working with child-generated metaphors as well as demonstrating how to create your own healing stories for children and adolescents. Professionals working with young people in any setting will find this book to be a powerful therapeutic tool.

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What People Are Saying

From the Publisher
"Healing Stories is a rare text:  at once delightful to read, lively, informative, practical and reassuring.  Burns’ confidence in the curative power of metaphor bursts forth from the pages, demystifying the art of telling a good story in the process.  Here are wonderful tales we can tell kids, they can tell us, and we can coauthor with them.
Burns takes us through all the steps involved in building a good therapeutic narrative so even the most tongue-tied clinician can spin a useful tale."
—Martha B. Straus, Ph.D., Professor, Department of Clinical Psychology, Antioch New England Graduate School; author, No-Talk Therapy for Children and Adolescents

George Burns is a highly experienced clinician with the remarkable ability to create, discover and tell engaging stories that can teach us all the most important lessons in life. With 101 Healing Stories for Kids and Teens, he strives especially to help kids and teens learn these life lessons early on, providing them opportunities for getting help and even learning to think preventively. Burns has made an invaluable contribution to helping young people build good skills and good lives.
—Michael D. Yapko, Ph.D., Author of Breaking the Patterns of Depression and Hand-Me-Down Blues

101 Healing Stories for Children and Teens is a must read for anyone working with this age group. George Burns takes the reader on a wonderful journey, balancing metaphor, good therapeutic technique, and empirical foundations during the trip. Given that Burns utilizes all three aspects of the Confucian story referred to in the book—teaching, showing, and involving—any reader using this resource should increase their understanding of how stories can be used therapeutically.
—Richard G. Whiteside, MSW, Author of The Art of Using and Losing Control and Working with Difficult Clients

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780471471677
  • Publisher: Wiley
  • Publication date: 10/28/2004
  • Edition description: New Edition
  • Edition number: 1
  • Pages: 336
  • Product dimensions: 7.52 (w) x 9.37 (h) x 0.68 (d)

Meet the Author

GEORGE W. BURNS is a clinical psychologist and Director of the Milton H. Erickson Institute of Western Australia. He is also a trainer of therapists and the author of 101 Healing Stories: Using Metaphors in Therapy (Wiley), Nature-Guided Therapy, and coauthor of Standing without Shoes: Creating Happiness, Relieving Depression, Enhancing Life.

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Table of Contents

Acknowledgments, xv

Introduction, xvii

What This Book Offers, xvii

A Word or Two about Words, xix

Oral versus Written Stories, xix

The Structure of This Book, xx

Story 1 A Story of the Story, xxiii


Chapter 1 The Magic of Metaphor, 3

Why Tell Healing and Teaching Stories to Kids and Teens?, 3

A Brief History of Teaching Tales, 4

How Stories Inform, 5

How Stories Educate, 6

How Stories Teach Values, 7

How Stories Discipline, 8

How Stories Build Experience, 9

How Stories Facilitate Problem-Solving, 10

How Stories Change and Heal, 11

When Not to Speak in Stories, 13

Chapter 2 Guidelines for Effective Storytelling, 15

Ten Guidelines for Effective Storytelling, 16

Six Guidelines for the Storyteller’s Voice, 25

Chapter 3 Tools and Techniques, 30

Books as a Source of Healing Stories: Bibliotherapy, 30

Drama as a Source of Healing Stories, 32

Videos or DVDs as a Source of Healing Stories: Videotherapy, 33

Puppets, Dolls, and Toys as Metaphor, 35

Play as Metaphor, 36

Humor as Metaphor, 38

Experiential Metaphors, 39

Child-Generated Metaphors, 41

Collaborative Tales, 42

To Discuss or Not to Discuss?, 43


Chapter 4 Enriching Learning, 47

Story 2 Kids Can Make a Difference: A Kid Story, 47

Story 3 Kids Can Make a Difference: A Teen Story, 49

Story 4 Feed What You Want to Grow, 50

Story 5 Look after Yourself, 52

Story 6 Come up Laughing, 53

Story 7 It’s in the Way You Do It, 54

Story 8 Making the Most of What You Are Given, 55

Story 9 Doing What You Can, 56

Story 10 Seeking Happiness, 58

Chapter 5 Caring for Yourself, 61

Story 11 Soaring to New Heights: A Kid Story, 62

Story 12 Soaring to New Heights: A Teen Story, 64

Story 13 Recognizing Your Abilities, 66

Story 14 Let Joe Do It, 68

Story 15 Discovering Your Specialness, 70

Story 16 The Importance of Accepting Compliments, 72

Story 17 What You Give Is What You Get, 74

Story 18 Good, Not Perfect, 75

Story 19 Be Yourself, 76

Story 20 Increasing Self-Awareness, 78

Chapter 6 Changing Patterns of Behavior, 81

Story 21 Facing Fears: A Kid Story, 82

Story 22 Facing Fears: A Teen Story, 84

Story 23 See for Yourself, 86

Story 24 Learning to Think for Yourself, 88

Story 25 Build on What You Are Good At, 90

Story 26 Learning New Tricks, 92

Story 27 A Gesture That Changed a Whole Suburb, 95

Story 28 Making a Difference, 96

Story 29 Changing Patterns of Behavior, 97

Story 30 I’m Not Afraid Anymore, 99

Chapter 7 Managing Relationships, 102

Story 31 Caught in the Middle: A Kid Story, 103

Story 32 Caught in the Middle: A Teen Story, 104

Story 33 Making and Maintaining Friendships, 106

Story 34 The Four Faithful Friends, 107

Story 35 Negotiating a Solution, 108

Story 36 New Friends, 110

Story 37 Finding Tenderness, 112

Story 38 Going Inside, 114

Story 39 Putting Yourself in Someone Else’s Place, 116

Story 40 Making and Keeping Friends, 118

Chapter 8 Managing Emotions, 121

Story 41 Heightening Pleasure: A Kid Story, 122

Story 42 Heightening Pleasure: A Teen Story, 123

Story 43 Having Fun, 125

Story 44 Cultivating Contentment, 127

Story 45 Nailing Down Anger, 129

Story 46 Helping with Humor, 131

Story 47 Flying off the Handle, 132

Story 48 Learning to Laugh, 133

Story 49 Change Your Posture, Change Your Feelings, 135

Story 50 Expressing Emotions Congruently, 136

Chapter 9 Creating Helpful Thoughts, 139

Story 51 Managing Grief: A Young Kid Story, 139

Story 52 Managing Grief: A Kid Story, 141

Story 53 An Act of Kindness, 142

Story 54 Things May Not Be What They Seem, 144

Story 55 Positive Reframing, 145

Story 56 Thoughts Determine Feelings, 146

Story 57 Finding Exceptions to Problems, 147

Story 58 Learning to Use What You Have, 149

Story 59 Learning to Discriminate, 150

Story 60 Awakening Confidence, 152

Chapter 10 Developing Life Skills, 155

Story 61 Facing a Moral Dilemma: A Kid Story, 156

Story 62 Facing a Moral Dilemma: A Teen Story, 157

Story 63 Learning about Rules, 159

Story 64 Sometimes Terrible Things Happen, 160

Story 65 Accepting What You Have, 162

Story 66 Taking Responsibility, 163

Story 67 Making Decisions, 165

Story 68 Taking a Different View, 167

Story 69 Overcoming Fear, 168

Story 70 The Secrets of Success, 170

Chapter 11 Building Problem-Solving Skills, 173

Story 71 Overcoming Adversity: A Kid Story, 174

Story 72 Overcoming Adversity: A Teen Story, 175

Story 73 Collaborative Problem-Solving, 177

Story 74 Thinking through a Problem, 178

Story 75 Solving a Problem, 180

Story 76 Acceptance, 182

Story 77 Learning to Share, 184

Story 78 Tending to the Neglected, 185

Story 79 Taking Control, 187

Story 80 Creating a Wish, 189

Chapter 12 Managing Life’s Challenging Times, 193

Story 81 Blowing Away Pain: A Kid Story, 194

Story 82 Managing Pain: A Teen Story, 195

Story 83 Beating a Bully, 196

Story 84 I Am Only Nine, 198

Story 85 Coping with Illness, 199

Story 86 Finding Solutions, 201

Story 87 Facing Challenges, 203

Story 88 Getting Back on Your Feet, 204

Story 89 Facing Thoughts of Suicide, 206

Story 90 Learning to Care for Yourself, 208

Chapter 13 Kids’ Own Healing Stories, 211

Story 91 The Ghost Who Learned to Scare, 212

Story 92 Girl, 213

Story 93 Days to Come, 214

Story 94 Mary-Jane’s Story, 216

Story 95 Sally’s Problem, 218

Story 96 My Life, 220

Story 97 My Life Story, 221

Story 98 Rock Your Way out of It, 222

Story 99 When There Is Nothing I Can Do, 223

Story 100 Lucy Mac’s Story, 225


Chapter 14 How Can I Use Metaphors Effectively?, 229

Potential Pathways for Effective Metaphor Therapy, 229

Potential Pitfalls in Effective Metaphor Therapy, 234

Chapter 15 Where Do I Get the Ideas for Healing Stories?, 240

Metaphors Built on a Basis of Evidence, 240

Metaphors Built on Heroes, 242

Metaphors Built on Imagination, 243

Metaphors Built on Therapeutic Strategies, 244

Metaphors Built on an Idea, 246

Metaphors Built on a Child’s Own Story, 247

Metaphors Built on Humor, 249

Metaphors Built on Cross-Cultural Tales, 250

Metaphors Built on Client Cases, 251

Metaphors Built on Everyday Experiences, 252

Guidelines for Using Personal Life Stories, 253

Chapter 16 How Do I Plan and Present Healing Stories?, 255

The PRO-Approach, 255

Make an Outcome-Oriented Assessment, 256

Plan Your Metaphors, 258

Present Your Metaphors, 262

Stop, Look, and Listen, 264

Ground the Story in Reality, 264

Chapter 17 Teaching Parents to Use Healing Stories, 266

Stories for Parents and Parenting, 266

Some Values of Teaching Parents to Use Metaphors, 268

Steps for Teaching Parents Storytelling, 270

An Example of Effective Parental Storytelling, 271

Helping Parents Build Storytelling Skills, 274

. . . And the Story Continues, 275

Story 101 Will You Be My Teacher?, 277

Resources, References, and Other Sources of Metaphoric Stories, 279

Index, 295

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First Chapter

101 Healing Stories for Kids and Teens

Using Metaphors in Therapy
By George W. Burns

John Wiley & Sons

ISBN: 0-471-47167-4

Chapter One

The Magic of Metaphor


Do you remember what it was like as a young child to have a parent or grandparent sit on the side of your bed at night and read a story that gave you permission to journey into your own fantasies? How the magic of the story engaged you, entranced you, changed you into a different yet somehow familiar character, and took you into experiences you may not yet have encountered? How, in the process, you discovered something new about yourself, felt the emotion of reaching the tale's conclusion, and shared a special intimacy with the teller?

From time immemorial, stories, legends, and parables have been effective and preferred methods for communicating information, teaching values, and sharing the important lessons of life. Just hearing those often-expressed four words "Once upon a time ..." is like an instant switch from reality to pretense or to an altered level of processing. They are like a hypnotic induction, an invitation to participate in a unique relationship with both the teller and the story's characters. They are words that invite the listener on a journey into a world of imagination where reality may be suspended, and learning can be potent. They are an invitation into a special realm of experience where listeners areentranced, attention is focused, and one can share the emotions of the fictional hero. They invite participation in a relationship in which teller and listener share an interactive bond.

Stories have many important characteristics of effective communication:

1. They are interactive.

2. They teach by attraction. 3. They bypass resistance.

4. They engage and nurture imagination.

5. They develop problem-solving skills.

6. They create outcome possibilities.

7. They invite independent decision making.

In these ways they replicate many of the characteristics we seek to create in our therapeutic relationships with children, for as we engage in the process of listening to stories our relationships with self, others, and the world at large are likely to change. While we may or may not notice it, the sharing of stories can build relationships, challenge ideas, provide models for future behavior, and enhance understanding. In the characters and teller we may see some of ourselves and be influenced, little by little, by their attitudes, values and skills. It has been said before that once we have heard a story we can never unhear it, that something may have changed forever. Thus, stories are a logical and productive means for therapeutically communicating with kids.


From long before our ancestors began to paint on the walls of caves, chisel symbols into stone, or print words on paper, elders have passed stories on to younger people. Perhaps some of the oldest living tales can be found in the legends of the Australian Aboriginals. One that provides an explanation of natural phenomena such as fire, stars, and crows, and has a strong moral message, begins with seven women who control fire, and Wakala, a man who manipulatively steals the control for himself. Now powerless, the women flee into the sky, becoming the constellation of the Seven Sisters, while Wakala selfishly refuses to share his fire with anyone, mocking them by calling out, "Wah, wah," whenever they ask. In a fit of temper he throws coals at some men who ask, starting a wildfire in which he himself is incinerated. As the men watch, his corpse is transformed into the blackened body of a crow, flies into a tree, and sits there calling "Wah, wah."

Through such seemingly simple tales, elders communicated to the younger generation messages about not stealing, being selfish, or losing your temper. Through stories they shaped the ideas, beliefs, morality, and behavior of a whole culture, generation upon generation. Telling children stories is as ancient and entrenched as the history of communication itself.

San Diego-based psychologist Michael Yapko, in writing about effective methods of communication with hypnosis, claims that "Stories as teaching tools have been the principal means of educating and socializing people throughout human history" (Yapko, 2003, p. 433; italics added). Over time and across all cultures they have been used as a form of effective communication and education, passing on from generation to generation the attitudes, values, and behaviors necessary for survival and success in life. Stories like the biblical account of creation, the Australian Aboriginal dream-time legends, or the myths of ancient Greece explain how our world came into being, how human beings were created, and where animals came from. We, as a species, have used stories to explain our world and its origins. These stories help us to define and understand much of what otherwise might be unexplained. In so doing, they also enable us to create our world. If our stories of the world are based on creationist theology, we may live our lives with fear of damnation to hell and desires of reaching heaven. If our stories of the world are about the interconnectedness of all livings beings with the planet, we may tread gently and with respect for both the earth and its creatures. If we are brought up on stories about animosity and hostility between religions and cultures, we may be more prone to conflict with our neighbors and, thus, destined to a life of hatred. As our stories define the world for us, so we are likely to see it ... and create it.

Just as stories explain, so they can teach about values, standards, and acceptable patterns of behavior. They educate us in how to cope with the situations we are likely to experience in life and how we can best manage the challenges that lie ahead. Imagine, if you wish, ancient hunters coming home from a day chasing and capturing a wild beast. As they sit around the fire at night, roasting their freshly caught meat, they communicate the tales of their activities, describing the successful strategies they used, detailing the events that caused one of their members to be gored or injured. In this way they are sharing their experiences with the young people of the tribe who sit there listening to the tales, learning the things to avoid and the things to ensure a successful hunt. These stories short-circuit our learning processes. The wide-eyed children listening to the hunter's tales do not need to have trapped wild animals themselves to learn about those processes that work and those that do not.

The power of stories to communicate effectively has meant that they are, and have been, the preferred medium of some of the world's most renowned teachers. Jesus and Buddha did not lecture; instead, they used parables. Sufis and Zen Buddhists are renowned for their profound teaching tales. Although the Bible provides us with some very direct and prescriptive instructions, such as the Ten Commandments, its main form of communication is in the relating of stories. Indeed, storytelling has been the universally preferred style of teaching through which to pass on life's important lessons from generation to generation.

Whether for learning or entertainment (and perhaps there is no clear distinction), we crave stories. We buy books, visit libraries, and read tales of fiction or fact. We go to plays, the ballet, and the opera to relive familiar classics that have survived the centuries. How many times have we heard the story of Romeo and Juliet, yet still find the ending tragic each time we experience it? As much as we are entranced by the old, so we seem to crave the new story line as well. Teenagers watch the stories of pop songs acted out in video clips. Children, adolescents, and adults are entranced by movies that visually and audibly spin a story of suspense, romance, or humor, turning actors-our modern-day storytellers-into folk heroes and role models.

Stories are an integral part of life. Through the ages, they have been an inseparable part of human culture, learning, and values. Regardless of our language, religion, race, sex, or age, stories have been, and will remain, a crucial element in our lives. It is because of stories that our language, religion, science, and culture exist. Stories may fulfill our dreams; and, indeed, our dreams themselves are stories. They accompany us throughout our existence, from cradle to cremation. As one of Salman Rushdie's characters said in The Moor's Last Sigh, "When we die all that remains are the stories." If life and stories are so mutually embracing, then their adaptation into counseling and therapy is both a logical and practical extension of an established and effective medium of communication.


Dappled sunlight sparkles and twinkles from a mysterious source partially obscured by fern fronds and gum leaves. Wide-eyed and excited children rush forward into the bushland reserve, enveloped by the sights, sounds and smells of the bush-birdsong, water gently cascading over rocks, silver-gray gum leaves rustling overhead and then they see her-a vision of glitter and rainbow hues, a beautiful bush fairy with jeweled wand hovering on a ledge of mossy sandstone by the creek. The children are mesmerized by the tantalizing spectacle. The fairy smiles and invites them to join her for a bush walk. How could they resist?

But first, fairy uses her wand to scatter magical fairy dust over the participants to focus on each sensory modality (sight, sound, smell, taste and touch). The magic is to enhance the sensory experience, to encourage and challenge them to see and hear more, to search beyond the obvious and to engender wonderment. The children respond immediately with "sightings"-is that a possum tail dangling from the tree? What bird is that? Why is that leaf speckled and twisted? Where has the spider gone from the web? What was that rustling in the long grass? Is that more fairy dust sprinkled near the fungi? So much excitement, anticipation, questions. The children are engaged through their senses into heightened awareness and valuable interaction has begun. (Lalak, 2003, p. 72)

For the past six years Nadia Lalak (2003; Eva & Lalak, 2003), a psychologist, landscape consultant, and environmental educator, has enchanted schoolchildren with environment-oriented fairy stories. Her project aims to raise environmental awareness, inspire ecological consciousness, facilitate an enhanced experience of landscape, and develop a child's sense of place in the world. Local resources, such as bushland reserves, are used to provide children with a direct experience of an easily accessible, natural world. Through tales of the bush fairy, the children develop an understanding of the landscape, nature's interrelationships, and the impacts of urbanization.

Lalak bases her approach to informing environmental awareness on the Confucian proverb that says, Teach me and I will forget. Show me and I remember. But involve me and I will understand.

For her, stories are an integral part of that process of involvement of children in understanding information. She says, "Away from a classroom and whiteboard, children respond enthusiastically to creative interpretations of landscape and ecological issues and the opportunity to be involved in magic, mystery, storytelling, role-playing, environmental games and fun" (Lalak, 2003, p. 73).


Imagine for a moment that you are attending your first week of school and your teacher tells you, "One plus one equals two," while writing some strange symbols on a board. Now imagine a different teacher who says, "Jill got home from her first week at school. She was feeling tired and hungry, but no sooner had she stepped in the door than she could smell the cakes Mom had been freshly baking. Before she had a chance to ask, her mother said, 'Would you like a cake?' Excitedly, Jill munched her way into the still slightly warm cake. When she finished she was still hungry, so she asked, 'Can I have another, please?' 'What?' replied her mother. 'You have eaten one cake. If you have another that will mean you have eaten two cakes.' One cake plus another cake equals two cakes. And that is exactly what Jill ate."

Which lesson has most meaning for you? Which involves you-and your senses, experiences-more in the learning process? With which do you have greater association, or find your attention more absorbed?

Learning skills in therapy follows similar processes as learning facts in school. Let's say you have a young enuretic client and you choose to take a behavioral approach to managing the case. You can instruct the child and his parents in strategies such as "Do not drink for a certain period before going to bed, empty your bladder before going to bed, retain your urine as long as possible during the day," and so on. You could recommend an enuresis alarm with prescribed instructions for its use. You could give your suggestions very clearly and directly.

Compare this to telling the child a story: "Andy was a boy I saw not very long ago. He felt embarrassed to talk about his problem and I guessed he felt a little different or odd. He didn't know anyone else who wet the bed-or not any who had told him so, anyway. It felt uncomfortable to wake up in a cold, wet bed every morning. He hated having plastic liners on his bed when his sister didn't. At times she teased him. He couldn't sleep over at his friends' houses when other kids did and he feared they would tease him, too, if they knew. His parents had told him it was time he grew out of it. They said they would put sticky stars on the calendar in his bedroom for each night he was dry, but he never got any. They offered him extra pocket money for dry nights but still it didn't work. He felt bad, like it was his fault. He wanted to please them but nothing seemed to work and he didn't know what else he could do."

Having thus set the problem and, hopefully, gained the listener's involvement, you can start to describe the choices that Andy had available (i.e., the behavioral steps that you could have given in a more direct but perhaps less readily accepted form). Maybe describe the choices Andy made, offer suggestions, perhaps with some humor ("Would it have helped for him to stand on his head all night?") or ask the listener for suggestions ("If standing on his head wouldn't work, what else could he have done?"). An example of how this can be done is provided in Story 26, "Learning New Tricks."


Recently I led a group of colleagues on a workshop/study tour of Bhutan, a high and tiny Himalayan kingdom north of Bangladesh and south of Tibet. While there, I was interested to discover that this is a country with an unofficial national story.


Excerpted from 101 Healing Stories for Kids and Teens by George W. Burns Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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