150 Ways to Tell If You're Ghetto

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Overview

Shawn Wayans (star of the hit prime-time WB Network Television show The Wayans Bros.), Chris Spencer (host of the upcoming national late night talk show Vibe), and Suli McCullough (up-and-coming comedian, actor, writer) bring their lively brand of humor to the page in a book sure to tickle city- and country-bound alike.  More than a place, the authors remind us, "ghetto" is a state of mind; "If Hillary Clinton ever picked up Chelsea from school with rollers in her ...

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Overview

Shawn Wayans (star of the hit prime-time WB Network Television show The Wayans Bros.), Chris Spencer (host of the upcoming national late night talk show Vibe), and Suli McCullough (up-and-coming comedian, actor, writer) bring their lively brand of humor to the page in a book sure to tickle city- and country-bound alike.  More than a place, the authors remind us, "ghetto" is a state of mind; "If Hillary Clinton ever picked up Chelsea from school with rollers in her hair...guess what?  The First Lady be ghetto."

Among other ways to tell if you're ghetto:

You can read your haircut
You throw a pool party at the fire hydrant
You buy pagers to match your outfits
You go to church just to pick up women
Your fingernails are longer than your fingers
You have a car phone and no car
You take a bubble bath with dishwashing liquid
You get into a fistfight while you're pregnant
You missed the birth of your child because you were playing Sega
You named your daughters after cars you can't afford

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780440507932
  • Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
  • Publication date: 6/28/1997
  • Pages: 80
  • Product dimensions: 5.40 (w) x 7.90 (h) x 0.20 (d)

Meet the Author

Shawn Wayans made his acting debut in 1988 in his brother Keenan Ivory Wayans' feature film, I'm Gonna Get You Sucka, and later joined the cast of the Emmy Award-winning comedy series In Living Color.  He co-wrote, co-executive produced, and co-starred with his brother Marlon in last year's Don't Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood.  Currently, Shawn co-stars with Marlon in their hit television program The Wayans Bros. on the WB Network.  Shawn Wayans lives in Los Angeles.

Chris Spencer, who graduated from UCLA with a BA in theater arts, has appeared as a guest on The Arsenio Hall Show, The John Larroquette Show, In Living Color, Martin, and The Young and the Restless.  His big screen performances include feature films Blankman, A Low Down Dirty Shame, Don't Be a Menace to South Central High While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood, The Sixth Man, and the upcoming Faking D Funk for New Line Films.  Beginning this summer, Spencer will host a new late-night talk show, Vibe, produced by Quincy Jones.  He lives in Los Angeles.

Suli McCullough graduated from UCLA with a degree in political science and a minor in stand-up comedy.  His first national appearance as a stand-up was on The Arsenio Hall Show.  He has since appeared in guest-starring roles on such sitcoms as Married...With Children, The Larry Sanders Show, and The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.   McCullough also appeared in the films Don't Be A Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood,Terminal Velocity, The Cable Guy and What's Love Got to Do With It.  Currently he is working on a network sitcom.  He lives in Los Angeles.

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Read an Excerpt

You know you're ghetto if...

You have a wife and kids but still live with your parents.

You don't have two pieces of ID.

You didn't know there were two Lionels on The Jeffersons.

You chew ice.

You cain't, kant, can't spell "can't".

You wear house shoes to the grocery store.

You were close enough to hit Reginald Denny.

You go trick-or-treating without a costume.

You pee in the shower.

You have to put stuff on layaway at the 99-cent store.

You're nineteen and you just met your father.

When you were little you had to be in the house before the streetlights came on.

You think you can kick Mike Tyson's ass.

You go to church just to pick up women.

You've ever had to have a police escort to a baby shower.

You've ever slapped someone over the prize in the cereal box.

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Interviews & Essays

On Tuesday, August 5, barnesandnoble.com welcomed Shawn Wayans, author of 150 WAYS TO TELL IF YOU'RE GHETTO.


JainBN: Thanks for joining us tonight, Shawn. We're thrilled you could be here.

Shawn Wayans: No problem. Thank you for having me.



JainBN: Let's get right to the questions.

Shawn Wayans:



Question: Shawn, what's it like working with family?

Shawn Wayans: It's like getting paid to hang out and have fun. It's the best.



Question: Shawn, where did you get the idea to write your book? And do you think it's degrading to African Americans?

Shawn Wayans: No, I don't think it's degrading to African Americans, because it's not about African Americans. It' s about all kinds of people. This book is a study of human behavior. You don't have to be African American to be ghetto. If the First Lady was to take a bubble bath with dishwashing liquid, guess what? She's ghetto. We were on the set of "Don't Be a Menace," and while we were shooting, to kill time, we started making each other laugh with these one-liners. We thought they were too funny to go to waste, so we decided to put them in a book. We kind of got inspired for the whole idea from Jeff Foxworthy's redneck books.



Question: What was it like to work on "In Living Color"?

Shawn Wayans: It was the most fun I ever had in my life. It was comedy college for me. Being around guys like Damon [Wayans], Keenen [Wayans], Jim [Carrey], and David Allen Greer taught me a whole lot. Basically taught me everything I know.



Question: Is it really fun to work with Marlon, on your movie "Don't Be a Menace" and on "The Wayans Bros."?

Shawn Wayans: Yeah. Like I said earlier, whenever you work with family, it's like getting paid to hang out. Aside from that, me and Marlon have great chemistry. I love going to work with him every day.



Question: Will you regrow your hair? I know you cut it.

Shawn Wayans: Ummm ... maybe one day. Right now I just felt like a change.



Question: How long did it take you to write your book, and who worked on it with you?

Shawn Wayans: We've been working on it for about three or four years. I wrote it with two of the costars of "Don't Be a Menace," Chris Spencer and Suli McCullough.



Question: Will you do any more movies like "Don't Be a Menace"?

Shawn Wayans: Yeah, I'll be in more movies. I don't know if they're all going to be like "Don't Be a Menace." I'd like to do all different kinds of movies. I'm in the middle of developing several movies for me and Marlon right now.



Question: What other projects are you currently working on?

Shawn Wayans: Aside from my TV show and the movies I'm developing, I'm just doing my stand-up. That's pretty much all I'm doing right now. That and some stand-up here and there.



Question: Shawn, how did all of the Wayans get involved in acting? Who made it first?

Shawn Wayans: Keenan was the first one. Keenan was the pioneer. Then Damon followed him and showed us that Keenan wasn't a fluke. And then we all just followed. We all started out doing stand-up comedy, with the exception of Marlon.



Question: What's your favorite way to tell if you're ghetto?

Shawn Wayans: If your take your batteries out of your smoke detector and put it inside of your pager.



Question: How can I get tickets to a live taping of "The Wayans Bros."?

Shawn Wayans: You'd have to call Warner Bros Television for that one. I'm not really sure.



Question: What do you like better, your movies or TV show?

Shawn Wayans: I like them both. They're both fun. In movies, I have a lot more freedom than I do with my TV show, but they are both cool.



Question: What are your hobbies? What do you do in your spare time?

Shawn Wayans: I work out. I watch a lot of movies. I like to go play Paint Wars.



Question: What's it like to work in comedy all the time and make people laugh?

Shawn Wayans: It's a hard job, because sometimes you don't feel like being funny and you have to be funny. But still, in all, it's fun.



Question: What are holidays like in your house?

Shawn Wayans: Very expensive. Especially Christmas.



Question: What's your opinion Is Martha Stewart ghetto?

Shawn Wayans: That's such a weird question. Maybe she is in private.



Question: I've seen your new show on TV, and I was wondering what you miss most or don't miss about the cast of "In Living Color"? By the way, your new show is great.

Shawn Wayans: I miss the laughs. I miss how much fun we had all day long. It's like being in school when you had that substitute teacher and you had all these bad little kids being funny.



Question: I met Keenan while going to Tuskegee. I believe your family is from the Bronx. True? Do you still have family in New York?

Shawn Wayans: We are from New York, but we're from Manhattan. Yes, I still have family in Manhattan.



Question: I love that scene you and your brother did where you played two gay film reviewers. It's hysterical! How did you ever come up with that idea?

Shawn Wayans: I love it, too, but that's not me. It's my brother Damon and David Allen Greer.



Question: What was your fave episode of "The Wayans Bros."?

Shawn Wayans: I like the one when we thought our father was cheating on our mother. And really he was taking dance lessons.



Question: Who was your favorite female actress to work with?

Shawn Wayans: I like Kelly Colefield. She was on "In Living Color." She played that lady Thelma Mulhullond. She did Little Miss Trouble.



Question: Hey, I am a 14-year-old girl who would love to get into acting. The problem is, I live in Michigan, and there are no studios or anything here! What should I do?

Shawn Wayans: First, take some acting classes. Get really good. Then try and get in a play. Then, once you are in a play, you want to try and invite agents down to see you. If they like you, then they'll find you and send you out on more auditions.



Question: On "The Wayans Bros." will they ever cast the role of the mother?

Shawn Wayans: No, the running joke is that you'll never see our mother.



Question: Shawn, first I would like to congratulate you on your book, 150 WAYS TO TELL IF YOU'RE GHETTO. It made me realize, Damn! my grandmama is ghetto!

Shawn Wayans: Thank you. And thank you for coming out of the ghetto closet.



Question: Shawn, I would like to know what you think and feel about the hip-hop East Coast/West Coast beef going on right now.Real simple I think it's dumb.

Shawn Wayans:



Question: What are the major differences between working with Keenen and working with Marlon?

Shawn Wayans: Wow!One is like working with my father. And the other one is like working with your little baby toddler brother. With Keenen, I'm the little brother; with Marlon, I have to play older brother.



Question: If I put sugar in my Kool-Aid, am I ghetto?

Shawn Wayans: If you drink Kool-Aid, you're ghetto.



Question: Who was it that made you laugh as a kid?

Shawn Wayans: Eddie Murphy, 'cause he was hilarious. He did a bunch of characters on "Saturday Night Live" Buckwheat, Stevie Wonder, Mr. Robinson's Neighborhood. He used to crack me up.



Question: I would like to know if there will be an "In Living Color" reunion sometime in the future.

Shawn Wayans: Maybe one day, if they could pay everybody enough money. They'd have to come up with $20 million alone just for Jim Carrey.



Question: Why are you online and not watching Keenen's show?

Shawn Wayans: 'Cause it ain't on yet. We're a three-hour time difference. You're probably on the East Coast. Aside from that, I gotta do my thing.



Question: What is the secret behind your family's success?

Shawn Wayans: A couple of things. One is our family. Period. We have a great support system going on. We are each other's best friend and best critic. I think that's been the secret to our success, other than just being funny.



JainBN: This will be our last question for Shawn tonight....

Shawn Wayans:



Question: Where do you see yourself in ten years?

Shawn Wayans: Hopefully doing the kind of movies I want to do. Maybe directing a couple of them. And probably a father by then. Hopefully I'll be moved out of L.A. to somewhere where I want to live. Also, ten years from now I see myself coming out with 150 MORE WAYS TO TELL IF YOU'RE GHETTO, Volume 3000.



JainBN: Thank you for joining us tonight, Shawn. It was great having you!

Shawn Wayans: I'd just like to thank everybody for tuning in. I appreciate the time. Don't forget to buy 150 WAYS TO TELL IF YOU'RE GHETTO, if you don't have it. And keep watching "The Wayans Brothers," and "The Keenan Ivory Wayans Show" every night at 11 00. Peace.



JainBN: Thank you, Shawn! Please come again.

Shawn Wayans:


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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 5
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Sort by: Showing all of 6 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted April 9, 2003

    Great , Great book enjoyed reading it. I love you shawn

    It was scary reading this book, there are things in there that i still do to this day. I laugh so hard i had tears coming out of eyes......Great book.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted November 16, 2000

    Perfect for my friends

    This book is so funny. Its perfect for the people at my school...I give it 'Two Thumbs....UP!!'

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted September 16, 2000

    Way better than any Redneck book

    I have to say this book is really good. And definetelly way better than any redneck book. Shawn Wayans is a tight comic, and it's just him to write such a cool book. Keep it up Shawn!

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted August 13, 2000

    So funny

    This is a great book read it you will have a great time reading it.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted May 23, 2000

    I THINK THAT IT'S TIME

    I BELIEVE THAT IT'S TRULY AN HONOR TO KNOW THAT PEOPLE DO BELIEVE IN US AS A PEOPLE AND I AM PROUD THAT AFRICAN-AMERICANS ARE THOUGHT OF MORE THAN JAIL BAIT AND WORTHLESS SO I'M PROUD THAT EVERYONE CAN ENJOY THIS WITH THEIR FAMILY AND FRIENDS AND I HOPE THAT THIS BOOK BRING US CLOSER TOGETHER AS A NATION.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted February 4, 2000

    Out of Ghetto Denial

    I learned that all of my friends are ghetto and I'm just Ghetto enough. This book was well written and funny as hell. I have to say that Shawn will go a long way. Can't wait to see his stand up routines! P.S. I read half the book in the store before buying it! One Love to ya.

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