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Shawn Wayans (star of the hit prime-time WB Network Television show The Wayans Bros.), Chris Spencer (host of the upcoming national late night talk show Vibe), and Suli McCullough (up-and-coming comedian, actor, writer) bring their lively brand of humor to the page in a book sure to tickle city- and country-bound alike. More than a place, the authors remind us, "ghetto" is a state of mind; "If Hillary Clinton ever picked up Chelsea from school with rollers in her ...
Shawn Wayans (star of the hit prime-time WB Network Television show The Wayans Bros.), Chris Spencer (host of the upcoming national late night talk show Vibe), and Suli McCullough (up-and-coming comedian, actor, writer) bring their lively brand of humor to the page in a book sure to tickle city- and country-bound alike. More than a place, the authors remind us, "ghetto" is a state of mind; "If Hillary Clinton ever picked up Chelsea from school with rollers in her hair...guess what? The First Lady be ghetto."
Among other ways to tell if you're ghetto:
You can read your haircut
You throw a pool party at the fire hydrant
You buy pagers to match your outfits
You go to church just to pick up women
Your fingernails are longer than your fingers
You have a car phone and no car
You take a bubble bath with dishwashing liquid
You get into a fistfight while you're pregnant
You missed the birth of your child because you were playing Sega
You named your daughters after cars you can't afford
You know you're ghetto if...
You have a wife and kids but still live with your parents.
You don't have two pieces of ID.
You didn't know there were two Lionels on The Jeffersons.
You chew ice.
You cain't, kant, can't spell "can't".
You wear house shoes to the grocery store.
You were close enough to hit Reginald Denny.
You go trick-or-treating without a costume.
You pee in the shower.
You have to put stuff on layaway at the 99-cent store.
You're nineteen and you just met your father.
When you were little you had to be in the house before the streetlights came on.
You think you can kick Mike Tyson's ass.
You go to church just to pick up women.
You've ever had to have a police escort to a baby shower.
You've ever slapped someone over the prize in the cereal box.
On Tuesday, August 5, barnesandnoble.com welcomed Shawn Wayans, author of 150 WAYS TO TELL IF YOU'RE GHETTO.
Shawn Wayans: No problem. Thank you for having me.
Shawn Wayans: It's like getting paid to hang out and have fun. It's the best.
Shawn Wayans: No, I don't think it's degrading to African Americans, because it's not about African Americans. It' s about all kinds of people. This book is a study of human behavior. You don't have to be African American to be ghetto. If the First Lady was to take a bubble bath with dishwashing liquid, guess what? She's ghetto. We were on the set of "Don't Be a Menace," and while we were shooting, to kill time, we started making each other laugh with these one-liners. We thought they were too funny to go to waste, so we decided to put them in a book. We kind of got inspired for the whole idea from Jeff Foxworthy's redneck books.
Shawn Wayans: It was the most fun I ever had in my life. It was comedy college for me. Being around guys like Damon [Wayans], Keenen [Wayans], Jim [Carrey], and David Allen Greer taught me a whole lot. Basically taught me everything I know.
Shawn Wayans: Yeah. Like I said earlier, whenever you work with family, it's like getting paid to hang out. Aside from that, me and Marlon have great chemistry. I love going to work with him every day.
Shawn Wayans: Ummm ... maybe one day. Right now I just felt like a change.
Shawn Wayans: We've been working on it for about three or four years. I wrote it with two of the costars of "Don't Be a Menace," Chris Spencer and Suli McCullough.
Shawn Wayans: Yeah, I'll be in more movies. I don't know if they're all going to be like "Don't Be a Menace." I'd like to do all different kinds of movies. I'm in the middle of developing several movies for me and Marlon right now.
Shawn Wayans: Aside from my TV show and the movies I'm developing, I'm just doing my stand-up. That's pretty much all I'm doing right now. That and some stand-up here and there.
Shawn Wayans: Keenan was the first one. Keenan was the pioneer. Then Damon followed him and showed us that Keenan wasn't a fluke. And then we all just followed. We all started out doing stand-up comedy, with the exception of Marlon.
Shawn Wayans: If your take your batteries out of your smoke detector and put it inside of your pager.
Shawn Wayans: You'd have to call Warner Bros Television for that one. I'm not really sure.
Shawn Wayans: I like them both. They're both fun. In movies, I have a lot more freedom than I do with my TV show, but they are both cool.
Shawn Wayans: I work out. I watch a lot of movies. I like to go play Paint Wars.
Shawn Wayans: It's a hard job, because sometimes you don't feel like being funny and you have to be funny. But still, in all, it's fun.
Shawn Wayans: Very expensive. Especially Christmas.
Shawn Wayans: That's such a weird question. Maybe she is in private.
Shawn Wayans: I miss the laughs. I miss how much fun we had all day long. It's like being in school when you had that substitute teacher and you had all these bad little kids being funny.
Shawn Wayans: We are from New York, but we're from Manhattan. Yes, I still have family in Manhattan.
Shawn Wayans: I love it, too, but that's not me. It's my brother Damon and David Allen Greer.
Shawn Wayans: I like the one when we thought our father was cheating on our mother. And really he was taking dance lessons.
Shawn Wayans: I like Kelly Colefield. She was on "In Living Color." She played that lady Thelma Mulhullond. She did Little Miss Trouble.
Shawn Wayans: First, take some acting classes. Get really good. Then try and get in a play. Then, once you are in a play, you want to try and invite agents down to see you. If they like you, then they'll find you and send you out on more auditions.
Shawn Wayans: No, the running joke is that you'll never see our mother.
Shawn Wayans: Thank you. And thank you for coming out of the ghetto closet.
Shawn Wayans: Wow!One is like working with my father. And the other one is like working with your little baby toddler brother. With Keenen, I'm the little brother; with Marlon, I have to play older brother.
Shawn Wayans: If you drink Kool-Aid, you're ghetto.
Shawn Wayans: Eddie Murphy, 'cause he was hilarious. He did a bunch of characters on "Saturday Night Live" Buckwheat, Stevie Wonder, Mr. Robinson's Neighborhood. He used to crack me up.
Shawn Wayans: Maybe one day, if they could pay everybody enough money. They'd have to come up with $20 million alone just for Jim Carrey.
Shawn Wayans: 'Cause it ain't on yet. We're a three-hour time difference. You're probably on the East Coast. Aside from that, I gotta do my thing.
Shawn Wayans: A couple of things. One is our family. Period. We have a great support system going on. We are each other's best friend and best critic. I think that's been the secret to our success, other than just being funny.
Shawn Wayans: Hopefully doing the kind of movies I want to do. Maybe directing a couple of them. And probably a father by then. Hopefully I'll be moved out of L.A. to somewhere where I want to live. Also, ten years from now I see myself coming out with 150 MORE WAYS TO TELL IF YOU'RE GHETTO, Volume 3000.
Shawn Wayans: I'd just like to thank everybody for tuning in. I appreciate the time. Don't forget to buy 150 WAYS TO TELL IF YOU'RE GHETTO, if you don't have it. And keep watching "The Wayans Brothers," and "The Keenan Ivory Wayans Show" every night at 11 00. Peace.
Posted April 9, 2003
It was scary reading this book, there are things in there that i still do to this day. I laugh so hard i had tears coming out of eyes......Great book.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted November 16, 2000
Posted September 16, 2000
I have to say this book is really good. And definetelly way better than any redneck book. Shawn Wayans is a tight comic, and it's just him to write such a cool book. Keep it up Shawn!Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted August 13, 2000
Posted May 23, 2000
I BELIEVE THAT IT'S TRULY AN HONOR TO KNOW THAT PEOPLE DO BELIEVE IN US AS A PEOPLE AND I AM PROUD THAT AFRICAN-AMERICANS ARE THOUGHT OF MORE THAN JAIL BAIT AND WORTHLESS SO I'M PROUD THAT EVERYONE CAN ENJOY THIS WITH THEIR FAMILY AND FRIENDS AND I HOPE THAT THIS BOOK BRING US CLOSER TOGETHER AS A NATION.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted February 4, 2000
I learned that all of my friends are ghetto and I'm just Ghetto enough. This book was well written and funny as hell. I have to say that Shawn will go a long way. Can't wait to see his stand up routines! P.S. I read half the book in the store before buying it! One Love to ya.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.