40 Ways to Raise a Nonracist Child

( 1 )


30 years after the civil rights movement, America is still imbued with the spirit of racism. Despite the best intentions of a generation, children today are still learning the dangerous lessons of prejudice, hate and bigotry. Ultimately, the only way to rid our society of the evil of racism is to teach our children, while they're still impressionable, that color is not an indication of a person's worth. Unfortunately, many parents are at a loss as to how to do this effectively. 40 Ways to Raise a Nonracist Child ...

See more details below
Paperback (1st Edition)
BN.com price
(Save 11%)$13.99 List Price
Other sellers (Paperback)
  • All (36) from $1.99   
  • New (2) from $11.00   
  • Used (34) from $1.99   
40 Ways to Raise a Nonracist Child

Available on NOOK devices and apps  
  • NOOK Devices
  • Samsung Galaxy Tab 4 NOOK 7.0
  • Samsung Galaxy Tab 4 NOOK 10.1
  • NOOK HD Tablet
  • NOOK HD+ Tablet
  • NOOK eReaders
  • NOOK Color
  • NOOK Tablet
  • Tablet/Phone
  • NOOK for Windows 8 Tablet
  • NOOK for iOS
  • NOOK for Android
  • NOOK Kids for iPad
  • PC/Mac
  • NOOK for Windows 8
  • NOOK for PC
  • NOOK for Mac
  • NOOK for Web

Want a NOOK? Explore Now

NOOK Book (eBook)
BN.com price


30 years after the civil rights movement, America is still imbued with the spirit of racism. Despite the best intentions of a generation, children today are still learning the dangerous lessons of prejudice, hate and bigotry. Ultimately, the only way to rid our society of the evil of racism is to teach our children, while they're still impressionable, that color is not an indication of a person's worth. Unfortunately, many parents are at a loss as to how to do this effectively. 40 Ways to Raise a Nonracist Child is the perfect aid for these parents. Divided into five age-related sections, ranging from preschool age to the teenage years, it provides helpful and practical ways parents can teach these important lessons, and contains specific advice addressing the unique concerns of both white parents and parents of color. With topics ranging from how to select toys for toddlers to how to talk with teenagers about what they see on the evening news, 40 Ways to Raise a Nonracist Child is a book all concerned parents will want to have on their shelves.

Read More Show Less

Editorial Reviews

Washington Post
Offers parents and educators a good first step.
Read More Show Less

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780062733221
  • Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
  • Publication date: 6/28/1996
  • Edition description: 1st Edition
  • Edition number: 1
  • Pages: 180
  • Sales rank: 1,519,255
  • Product dimensions: 5.31 (w) x 8.00 (h) x 0.39 (d)

Read an Excerpt

Raise Your Replacements with Principle

Perhaps it's obvious--as much of the advice on these pages may seem at first glance--that our mission as parents is to prepare our children to take our places in this world.

But somehow it's easy to forget that they soon will be our peers--let alone our survivors.

We have a mammoth ability to shape them now. Tomorrow, they will be our equals in both size and strength, which they will use in ways that are brute or kind, according to how we have raised them. What will they see through the lens we provide? What kind of America will they dream at the end of our day?

Some of the most thoughtful and effective parents we interviewed for this book are not exceedingly religious but talk in nearly sacred terms about their approach to parenting. They are deeply committed to guiding principles that vary in emphasis but that all could be considered "golden rules." Their goals are both simple and all-consuming. They aim to raise up children who are fit for society. At the same time, they strive to make that society more fit for all. They begin by devising guidelines, within which they then endeavor to live. Sound easy? Self-evident?

Deborah, a Cincinnati mother of three girls--ages two, five and seven--and her husband decided early on to concentrate on teaching their children to respect all races equally. The family--which is Jewish--has lost immediate relatives to Hitler's concentration camps, forbears to a Russian czar's pogrom, as well as ancestors to slavery in Pharaoh's Egypt.

"I try to use every opportunity that comes along to teach my children to treat other people as they would like to be treated," Deborahsays. "I tell them, 'Remember, you were once slaves'--the line from Passover--and 'Remember Hitler. Remember that you never want anything like that to happen to anybody else in this world.'"

It's tough, though. Deborah says her children were confused recently as they watched her nearly destroy a friendship with Janet, another mother in their middle-class neighborhood, who is black. The damage was done during a discussion the two women had about Nation of Islam Minister Louis Farrakhan and the historic Million Man March he organized in Washington, D.C. Deborah wanted Janet to denounce and disavow Farrakhan, whom many believe to be anti-Semitic.

Janet, however, needed Deborah to understand that Farrakhan was not her focus. Instead, she was thrilled by the sight of hundreds of thousands of African American men converging in the nation's capital to pledge a stronger commitment to themselves and to their families.

After leaving Janet's house in a huff, Deborah tried to explain to her children--who were more accustomed to their mother preaching tolerance than excommunicating friends--how and why some of her principles supersede all others. It wasn't easy. Deborah now doubts whether she was completely fair with Janet and isn't sure she ever made her reasoning clear to her girls. She does know, however, that she acted and spoke from her heart. She also misses her friend and is searching for a way to bridge the gap with Janet without feeling she's betraying her people--a move she says will please her daughters no end.

Deborah's children may be too young now to understand the intricate ways in which their mother's beliefs overlap and sometimes conflict, but she is teaching them a larger lesson by acting honestly and not hiding the hurt that sometimes results. In fact, Deborah may already have taught them enough to accept--even when she can't--that life is messy, and that loyalties can compete without necessarily nullifying principle.

We Americans often struggle when it comes to selecting and sticking to a philosophy of child rearing. We're not known for the strength of our planning. By and large, we're not into saving either. When the inevitable rainy day comes, we tend to count more on our knack for spur-of-the-moment solutions. That has been the source of many of our nation's triumphs as well as its downfalls.

We delight in our flexibility. We are undaunted as we attempt to juggle an impossible number of demands. We fumble regularly, and things of substance slip our grip. Then we vow to take up the challenge anew the next day. And we believe everything will work out. Somehow.

Many of the ways we offer here to help raise your child righteously in our racist world are rooted in systems of beliefs and convictions. Such strategies for living life fairly come in many forms, both sacred and secular, but most of them have similarly humane foundations. Adopt one, follow it, and you're likely to find yourself stumbling less as a parent. You may still lose your way occasionally, but you'll have a compass to get back on course. And getting back to the obvious, it will be easier to guide and inspire your children to follow you if you're true to your principles.

Read More Show Less

Table of Contents

1 Raise Your Replacements with Principle 3
2 Why White Parents Should Care 7
3 Examine Your Reluctance to Form Interracial Friendships 10
4 Make Acquaintances Across Color Lines 13
5 Trace Your Family's History of Prejudice 16
6 Provide History That Fosters Pride 19
7 Get the Whole Story - His-Story, Her Story, Their Story & Our Story 22
8 Make History a Healing Course 25
9 Sensitize Your Parent-School Organization 29
10 Involve the Community 32
11 Begin the Lessons Early, Teach Responsibility 35
12 Teach Identity Through Comparison 43
13 Reflect Reality Through Mirrors, Art and Yourself 46
14 Select the Right Preschool for Your Child 49
15 Don't Pretend Discrimination Doesn't Exist 53
16 Rise to the Challenge at School 56
17 Forge Ahead Without Hindering Your Child 59
18 Tell the Truth About Slavery 67
19 Color Holidays, but Use All Shades of the Truth 70
20 Avoid Cultural Tourism 73
21 Be Careful About What Your Children Read 76
22 Think About How You Define Normal 79
23 Rule Out Discriminatory Remarks 82
24 Insist on Respect 89
25 Nurture and Spread Self-Esteem 92
26 Know Your Child's Role Models 95
27 Help Broaden Your Child's Social Circle 98
28 Expose Racial Stereotyping in Entertainment 101
29 Select a Diverse Middle School 109
30 Listen To and Discuss Your Teen's Concerns 111
31 Don't Use Racism as a Crutch 115
32 If Trouble's Brewing, Sound the Horn 117
33 Learn Compassion for All Colors 119
34 Encourage Community Service 122
35 Be Honest: Talk About Uncertainties 129
36 Beware of Your Nonverbal Messages 132
37 Speak Clearly and from the Heart 134
38 Challenge "Self-Segregation" 137
39 Face Your Teen's Prejudice 140
40 Epilogue: Don't Give Up. Keep the Faith 143
Bibliography 147
Index 149
Read More Show Less

Customer Reviews

Average Rating 5
( 1 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star


4 Star


3 Star


2 Star


1 Star


Your Rating:

Your Name: Create a Pen Name or

Barnes & Noble.com Review Rules

Our reader reviews allow you to share your comments on titles you liked, or didn't, with others. By submitting an online review, you are representing to Barnes & Noble.com that all information contained in your review is original and accurate in all respects, and that the submission of such content by you and the posting of such content by Barnes & Noble.com does not and will not violate the rights of any third party. Please follow the rules below to help ensure that your review can be posted.

Reviews by Our Customers Under the Age of 13

We highly value and respect everyone's opinion concerning the titles we offer. However, we cannot allow persons under the age of 13 to have accounts at BN.com or to post customer reviews. Please see our Terms of Use for more details.

What to exclude from your review:

Please do not write about reviews, commentary, or information posted on the product page. If you see any errors in the information on the product page, please send us an email.

Reviews should not contain any of the following:

  • - HTML tags, profanity, obscenities, vulgarities, or comments that defame anyone
  • - Time-sensitive information such as tour dates, signings, lectures, etc.
  • - Single-word reviews. Other people will read your review to discover why you liked or didn't like the title. Be descriptive.
  • - Comments focusing on the author or that may ruin the ending for others
  • - Phone numbers, addresses, URLs
  • - Pricing and availability information or alternative ordering information
  • - Advertisements or commercial solicitation


  • - By submitting a review, you grant to Barnes & Noble.com and its sublicensees the royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable right and license to use the review in accordance with the Barnes & Noble.com Terms of Use.
  • - Barnes & Noble.com reserves the right not to post any review -- particularly those that do not follow the terms and conditions of these Rules. Barnes & Noble.com also reserves the right to remove any review at any time without notice.
  • - See Terms of Use for other conditions and disclaimers.
Search for Products You'd Like to Recommend

Recommend other products that relate to your review. Just search for them below and share!

Create a Pen Name

Your Pen Name is your unique identity on BN.com. It will appear on the reviews you write and other website activities. Your Pen Name cannot be edited, changed or deleted once submitted.

Your Pen Name can be any combination of alphanumeric characters (plus - and _), and must be at least two characters long.

Continue Anonymously
Sort by: Showing 1 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted October 31, 2003

    a great start

    Without the helpful suggestions detailed in this book, my toddler would have surely become a racist.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
Sort by: Showing 1 Customer Reviews

If you find inappropriate content, please report it to Barnes & Noble
Why is this product inappropriate?
Comments (optional)