5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth (And Other Useful Guides)

( 80 )

Overview

Prepare to laugh your ass off.The hilarity of TheOatmeal.com is now presented in book form with 35 never-before-seen pieces and 25 classic favorites from the Web site, including 6 Types of Crappy Hugs and 17 Things Worth Knowing about Your Cat.

In Matthew Inman's 5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth (And Other Useful Guides), samurai sword-wielding kittens and hamsters that love .50-caliber machine guns commingle with a cracked out Tyrannosaur that is extremely ...

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5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth (And Other Useful Guides)

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More About This Book

Overview

Prepare to laugh your ass off.The hilarity of TheOatmeal.com is now presented in book form with 35 never-before-seen pieces and 25 classic favorites from the Web site, including 6 Types of Crappy Hugs and 17 Things Worth Knowing about Your Cat.

In Matthew Inman's 5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth (And Other Useful Guides), samurai sword-wielding kittens and hamsters that love .50-caliber machine guns commingle with a cracked out Tyrannosaur that is extremely hard to potty train. Bacon is better than true love and you may awake in the middle of the night to find your nephew nibbling on your toes.

Inman creates these quirky scenes for theoatmeal.com, which launched in July 2009 and already has more than 82 million page views. In fact, every 15 to 30 seconds, someone Googles one of theoatmeal.com's creations. Now, 60 of Inman's comic illustrations and life-bending guides are presented in full-color inside 5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth (And Other Useful Guides). Consider such handy advice as:

* 4 Reasons to Carry a Shovel at All Times 

* 6 Types of Crappy Hugs

* 8 Ways to Tell if Your Loved One Plans to Eat You

* 17 Things Worth Knowing About Your Cat

* 20 Things Worth Knowing About Beer

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Editorial Reviews

From Barnes & Noble

Launched in mid-2009, theoatmeal.com is a relative web newcomer, but that doesn't mean that it's still an internet secret: In fact, The Oatmeal already receives more visitors than high traffic sites including I Can Has Cheezburger, Awkward Family Photos, and Tucker Max. The reasons for its popularity becomes vividly clear by perusing this collection of crazy cartoon wisdom. With this guide in hand, for example you will learn the six reasons bacons is better than true love ("Love is fleeting, but bacon stays in your arteries for all eternity") and the six phases of a tapeworm's life (you don't want to ask.) Hilarious reading for people who secretly resent dolphins.

Publishers Weekly
Social etiquette, animals, rules of grammar, and more are critiqued in ways ranging from the educational to the bizarre in this collection of comic strips from TheOatmeal.com. While proceeding directly from the newspaper strip tradition, these Web comics present observational humor that's a little more vulgar, a little more clever, and a little more likely to end up with the reader actually learning something than would have been printed in a nationally syndicated comic strip. The humor, like many classic comics, is based on Andy Rooneyesque shared experiences, such as "10 Reasons to Avoid Talking on the Phone," "How to Use a Semicolon (The Most Feared Punctuation on Earth)," and "How to Track, Hunt, and Kill a Unicorn." These are presented in a text-heavy style supplemented with basic, XKCD-like drawings. While the collection is erratic, some of the best strips—many dealing with cats—hit the universal funny bone. (Mar.)
Kirkus Reviews

Quirky, irreverent comic strips loaded with interesting and eclectic observations about the today's society.

Web designer turned comic artist MatthewInman (theoatmeal.com) offers a collection of cartoons that have appeared on his website over the past year, including some new material created especially for his debut release. Inman says his goal "is to entertain, inform, and offend." He succeeds on all counts. Part sophisticated observation of modern society and part frat-boy humor, the book constantly surprises. His webcomics offer an ironic, hilarious and ultimately honest portrayal of everyday life—see one man's descent into madness while trying to speak to an actual person in customer service. The unexpected awaits the reader at every turn. Browse through "7 Ways To Keep Your Tyrannosaur Off Crack Cocaine" before learning about Nikola Tesla and the development of AC electricity. A new-age Emily Post with a deep sarcastic undertone, Inman highlights a variety of social etiquette mistakes: "The 9 Types of Crappy Handshakes" is an especially effective greeting guide. The book contains some of the best explanations of how to use a semi-colon and sheds light on other grammarian pet peeves. The pullout poster on the end flap, "Why I Believe Printers Were Sent from Hell to Make Us Miserable," will strike a responsive chord in anyone who has struggled with the simplest of modern technology.

Delightfully absurd musings on both everyday life and fantasy from an unusually creative mind.

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781449401160
  • Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
  • Publication date: 3/1/2011
  • Edition description: Original
  • Pages: 160
  • Sales rank: 49,928
  • Product dimensions: 7.00 (w) x 8.90 (h) x 0.70 (d)

Meet the Author


Matthew Inman is a Web designer and developer from Seattle, Washington. He has been designing Web sites since the age of 13 and is a seasoned programmer, systems administrator, and online marketer. Matthew launched TheOatmeal.com in 2009.
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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4
( 80 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star

(48)

4 Star

(7)

3 Star

(6)

2 Star

(2)

1 Star

(17)

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See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 80 Customer Reviews

  • Posted February 2, 2011

    The extremely funny comics of the oatmeal all rolled up into a book.

    The comics written by the oatmeal (Matthew Inman)are a unique mixture of everyday situations and the bizarre. Each comic is a new adventure into the mind of creator Matthew Inman that will have you laughing from beginning to end. I thoroughly loved this book and hope you find as much enjoyment from it as i have.

    11 out of 13 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Posted May 11, 2011

    The book is great. The B&N ebook sucks.

    The book is great. But the B&N ebook is worthless. The images are so small that I cannot read most of the captions. THERE IS NO WAY TO ZOOM. Thought it was just the iPad, but I tried it in the B&N Nook app on the PC and I can't read it there either. Somebody really screwed up here.

    8 out of 8 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Anonymous

    Posted May 9, 2011

    NOT FOR NOOK!!

    Probably an awesome book, but if you buy it for the Nook, you're not going to be able to read any of the text -- you can't resize the images.

    VERY disappointed. I love the Oatmeal, but someone dropped the ball when offering this as a Nook book.

    8 out of 9 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Posted March 19, 2011

    Hard to read on the NOOK

    I give this review 3 stars because I am a huge fan of TheOatmeal. I can't give this a full 5 stars simply because AFTER paying for it and downloading to the NOOK did I find out that half the comics are either too small to read (and you can't enlarge the text on the comic) or were already on the The Oatmeal website. I thought I would get original comics here that weren't available for free on the website.

    Overall I wish I could get my money back, but not because I am disappointed in The Oatmeals work. Matthew Inman is a comedic genius.

    8 out of 10 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Anonymous

    Posted December 23, 2011

    Nook tablet and update

    You can zoom in now with the latest update to nookcolor and tablet. Works fine!

    4 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Anonymous

    Posted January 5, 2012

    WTH

    What r u peoole taking about on my nook the reading is fine i can zoom in

    3 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 14, 2011

    WTF?????

    I want to buy the book but i see there is no free sample! Are you kidding me! BN COULD DO BETTER

    2 out of 6 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Posted April 8, 2011

    Funny Book, Impossible to read

    I like the website, and was looking for more new content in the book; there was some, but not as much as expected. My biggest complaint is the fact that on the NookColor it is not possible to resize the content and a vast majority of the comics are too small to read. If given the option I would return this.

    2 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Posted July 17, 2012

    The best web comic out there- The Oatmeal is consistently funny,

    The best web comic out there- The Oatmeal is consistently funny, educational, and awesome. Well, the book delivers too. Just as hilarious and it really shines in full color. Oh, I guess some of the other reviewers are complaining about the NOOK version, so definitely buy it in print. I can confirm it is awesome.

    1 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 23, 2012

    Anonymous

    to the anonymous reviewer from jan 31 2012- relax, its a JOKE. Nobody really wants to hurt the dolphins. Breathe. Chill

    On another note, great book :)

    1 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 8, 2012

    This is a place where people READ books and rate them.

    So why can no one spell? Or get a joke? Great book, by the way.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Anonymous

    Posted March 2, 2012

    To the person the spot two below me

    I agree even though this book was hilariosly racist to canadians it was awesomr

    1 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Anonymous

    Posted January 30, 2012

    Omg I hate it for other reasons...

    I never read it but... why would you EVER punch a beautiful creature if they always save people during shark attacks?!?!?
    Dolphins are 10% smarter than the average human and I absoulutly LOVE dolphins 100% more than anyone does. No affence but whoever gets this book and likes it 100% I would be ashamed of myself.
    Plus, dolphins barely have any protection only swimming fast. Their teeth are too dull to cut through skin. So your punching an inicent creature thats going to be extinct. And YOUR going to be in why it's extinct. Thankyou.

    Like I said... No offence

    1 out of 16 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted August 11, 2011

    Pimpin

    Its better in paperback. Which is the formarlt i hav it in

    1 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Anonymous

    Posted June 12, 2013

    I am here it is ethan and i got to talk to you text fast

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Anonymous

    Posted June 10, 2013

    No

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Anonymous

    Posted June 8, 2013

    Its michelle

    Any 1 here

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Anonymous

    Posted May 17, 2013

    Great online, not so much for Nook

    I love The Oatmeal and have spent many hours reading comics and answering quiz questions on his website, but the ebook sucks. Most of the time, it's very hard to make out the text, not to mention it's in black and white. I've read some other peoples comments on how it works fine on the tablet and HD nook, but not for people with the simple touch model, like me. So you'll have to trust others if you have a better model, but read it online if you have something like mine.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Anonymous

    Posted March 25, 2013

    OH EM GEE!!!!!!!!!

    If you hate this book, you have no right to live!

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Anonymous

    Posted February 12, 2013

    LOL :D

    Hallarios

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 80 Customer Reviews
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