50 Shades of Kink: An Introduction to BDSM

50 Shades of Kink: An Introduction to BDSM

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by Tristan Taormino

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Tristan Taormino can tell you everything you want to know about the world of kink, and more! Operating on the pleasure principle, 50 Shades of Kink is a truly helpful how-to that is the perfect beginner's guide to the realm of kinky sex and can also serve as a wonderful refresher course. Whether readers want to get up close and personal with blindfolds,


Tristan Taormino can tell you everything you want to know about the world of kink, and more! Operating on the pleasure principle, 50 Shades of Kink is a truly helpful how-to that is the perfect beginner's guide to the realm of kinky sex and can also serve as a wonderful refresher course. Whether readers want to get up close and personal with blindfolds, crops, and paddles or are just looking for some inspiration to keep things fresh in the bedroom, 50 Shades of Kink is ideal for everyone and their lover(s). Included are techniques and creative ideas for bondage, spanking, flogging, sensation play, and rough sex; lessons on how to eroticize power, cultivate deeper connections, and incorporate kink into one’s sex life; and role-playing fantasies from the popular to the taboo.

Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher
"A gentle guide. You'll be an expert quicker than you can say 'horse-hair butt-plug."
—HuffPost Lifestyle

"This slim volume is a guide to BDSM for newcomers, written by an expert—Tristan Taormino—and packed with useful advice about the practices and products."
Erotic Trade Only

"After the international phenomenon of Fifty Shades of Grey, this is the book the world needed—a quality how-to guide and overview on the basics of BDSM"
—Aerie's Room

"Whatever your level in the world of BDSM, this book should be on your shelf."
—Cara Sutra

"I can’t stress enough the importance of being educated on the terms, toys, gear and how to play safely when it comes to kinky sex, and 50 Shades of Kink covers it all."
—A Good Woman's Dirty Mind

"If you enjoy reading about dominance and submission or bondage but don't know where to start, this is the guide for you. From telling your partner you have these feelings to perfecting rough sex, Taormino's book is there to walk you through it all. So take a deep breath, keep an open mind, and get reading so that you can maximize your pleasures."
—Bitches n Prose

"This book is brilliant."
—Rebel's Notes

"If you are interested in kink but don't know where to start, you MUST read this book."
—Book Overdose

"Adventurous couples can find fun and exciting things to try and talk about in this book."
—NonFiction Reads Book Reviews

"50 Shades of Kink does a good job of setting the record straight. This book ought to be included as required reading with every copy of 50 Shades of Grey."
—Toy Meets Girl

"Not sure what sensation play involves? Think the idea of paddling someone might be fun but not quite sure which paddle or why? Have some idea of the difference between a top and bottom, or a Dom and a sub, but aren’t quite sure? 50 Shade of Kink will answer all these vexing questions and a lot more besides."

"Empowering, easy to follow, purse-sized guide to everything a newbie needs to safely and enjoyably explore their kinky fantasies."
—Early 2 Bed

"This isn't a book for straight people, or queer people, for men, women or genderqueer folks—it's a book for anybody with a growing interest in kink."
—Feminist Allies

"Each chapter is the equivalent of a lecture in Kink 101, from debunking myths and the need for communication, to bondage basics and rough sex."
—Malin James

"Tristan Taormino’s 50 Shades of Kink should be required reading for anyone interested in BDSM and kink."
—Penny's Dirty Thoughts

"From the basic techniques involved to inspired suggestions, you’ll learn about bondage and spanking, how to eroticize power and cultivate deeper connections. Tristan will teach you the language of kink as she lifts the veil on popular taboos and fabulous fantasies."
—Tamsin Flowers

"I can't recommend this book enough!"
—Krissy Novacaine

"Tristan Taormino lays out the best ways to make your fantasies into reality in 50 Shades of Kink, her newest primer to erotic exploration. It’s both the perfect beginner’s guide and a wonderful refresher course."
—Creative Loafing Tampa

"This book needs to come bundled with every copy of 50 Shades that is ever sold."
—Bex Talks Sex

Praise for Tristan Taormino:

—Dan Savage

“Editor Tristan Taormino possesses a simple modus operandi. She blends sex and writing. And like Susie Bright before her, Taormino prepares a potent cocktail.” - Bay Windows Online

“Tristan Taormino is an inspiration, and a sensation. She is literally all over the map, from a recent trip to teach sex-ed in Germany, to appearances on HBO’s Real Sex and Ricki Lake, a column in the Village Voicem authoring numerous books, most notably The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women, which landed her on Howard Stern. It’s hard to even try t summarize her career, so I won’t. Suffice it to say, she has her hands ( and other body parts) in just about every area of the sex industry- from writing and editing books to designing buttplugs, film and television work, to hands on sex education and college lecturing.” - Rachel Kramer Bussel

“Taormino’s approach is humorous and entertaining.” - True Lust-Earl Lee

“… the writing is lively and sparky, and offers insights into the many and varied scenes going on in America today.” - Forum Reviews

“… described by Penthouse magazine as ‘America’s anal sex guru’” - Desire

“With her soft, chestnut colored curls, 21st century-modified cat-eye glasses, and a fitted black tee shirt and fabulous brown suede A-line miniskirt that showcase her creamy skin and alluring tattoos, Taormino is that delightful rarity: a sexy, intellectual post-punk librarian-type who writes columns about getting through heightened airport security with her adult toys after Sept. 11.” - Kera Bolonik, The Sunday Magazine of the Hartford Courant

Product Details

Cleis Press
Publication date:
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Product dimensions:
0.70(w) x 0.20(h) x 0.40(d)

Read an Excerpt

Myth: Kinky desires are not normal.
We have to stop thinking of kink as something abnormal or perverse and instead recognize it as part of a broad spectrum of desires. We should not put moral judgments on people who like certain kinds of sex. Imagine if we did that with nonkinky sex. Why does he like the doggie-style position so much? Why doesn’t she enjoy receiving oral sex more? Questions like those sound ridiculous, because we accept that some people like this, other people like that, and plenty of people like both. If it turns you on, you’re doing it with consenting adults, you’re not breaking laws or ruining your own life or someone else’s, just stop worrying and go for it. Life’s too short to second-guess your desires and what they might mean about you.

Communicating With Your Partner
The truth behind these myths is an important piece in your own journey of self- discovery and can help you embrace your newfound kinky fantasies. Once you get more comfortable with them, you may begin to imagine some scenes you’ve read about or watched in a film become a part of your real sex life. You think about what it might be like to spank your partner or be someone’s sex slave, but how do you begin? First, you need to share your fantasies with your partner, which I realize is sometimes easier said than done. But the only way you will have the opportunity to explore these desires is if you put yourself out there and tell your partner what you really want. Communication is a crucial component of an empowered and fulfilling sex life. There are a number of different ways you can do it, and it all depends on your communication style.
Be direct. The success of the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy has inspired a new open dialogue about kink among many different kinds of people, and the books are a great way to start the conversation. “So, I read this book, and it turned me on, and I’d like to try some of the stuff with you,” is about as direct as you can get. While you’re being so direct, you can also get specific; you can say,
“One of the things in the book that really got me going was [fill in your favorite: bondage, role play, blindfolds, candles, etc.].” You can also talk about how you might like something different: “In the book, Christian uses a riding crop on Anastasia’s vulva, but I think I’d like you to try using it on my butt cheeks instead.” Give your partner the space to listen, and tell him he does not have to respond right away if he doesn’t want to. If beginning that directly scares you, try the following techniques first and work your way up to a more explicit discussion.
Write it down. If talking about your desires face-to-face with your partner makes you feel shy, intimidated, or overwhelmed, you could write her a note. Handwritten notes are a rarity these days, so it should get his attention. You can use the same direct approach, but put it on paper, then slip the note to her. Or you can email him a note (as long as it’s not to a work email account!). Sending a handwritten or emailed note gives you a chance to compose your thoughts and takes any pressure off the situation; it gives her the opportunity to digest the new information and respond when she’s ready. As a bonus, it could spark a series of erotic notes you write back and forth to each other about exactly what you want to do together.
Use the book. If you’re not quite sure how to express your desires, let the book that inspired you do it for you. Select some of your favorite passages and print out or photocopy those pages, highlight the particularly incendiary sections, and include them with your note. Bonus points for underlining, color coding certain activities, writing in the margins, or creating your own footnotes.

Bondage Basics
When many people recall their first experience of bondage, it usually reaches all the way back to childhood. As part of cops-and-robbers or similar kids’ games, someone had to be restrained at some point. You’d grab a necktie, belt, scarf, or something else from one of your parents’ closets and tie up the bad guys. Some people look back on those experiences as fun memories. Bondage enthusiasts usually remember the first time they were tied up (or tied someone else up) with a lot more detail and glee.
For grown ups, bondage is an erotic activity with endless possibilities. If you’ve ever held down your lover’s hands while you were having sex or pinned a partner down to the bed with your body, then you’ve practiced a form of bondage. Bondage is incredibly versatile and can cover lots of erotic territory, from teasing to torment, and everything in between. It’s an ideal vehicle to explore power dynamics, since restraining someone embodies dominance, control, power, and authority. And being restrained is a way to submit, surrender, and give oneself over to another.
There are some basic rules for bondage that apply to anything you use to restrain someone or bind a part of their body. Whether it’s Velcro, a belt with a buckle, or a knot, you should always make sure whatever you put someone in is
safe. First, always have a pair of safety scissors nearby, in case you have to get someone out of bondage very quickly. Safety scissors have a blunt-edged blade to prevent injury when the scissors are held against skin. They’re available in most drugstores.
Whether you tie them in bows or fancy knots, cuffs around the ankles and wrist should be snug but not too tight; you should be able to put two fingers between the item and the person’s skin. You never want bondage to put too much strain on parts of the body; the person won’t be able to be in that bondage for very long. Better to make your captive more comfortable, so she or he can stay tied up for as long as you want! You should also check in periodically with your partner to make sure that everything still feels okay. If the person in bondage feels pain, tingling, or numbness, take the restraint off immediately.

Meet the Author

Tristan Taormino is an award-winning author, columnist, editor, filmmaker, and sex educator. She is the author of seven books and the editor of 23 anthologies. She’s written for a multitude of publications from Yale Journal of Law and Feminism to Penthouse. She lives in New York City.

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50 Shades of Kink: An Introduction to BDSM 5 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 4 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This book is thankfully nothing like 50 Shades of Gray. It's informative and thorough and debunks all the myths flying around about BDSM relationships thanks to the 50 Shades of Gray phenomenon. Tristan really knows her stuff and has amazing advice for every aspect of kink. If you're just a beginner or have been a kinkster for years you'll find something in this book that you didn't know before.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Not only did I learn some new tips and tricks from 50 Shades of Kink, but I was able to do so in an easily approachable way. Tristan Taormino gives great advice in a way that is easy to comprehend for beginners. This seriously helped my relationship and gave me the tools and confidence to feel comfortable in the bedroom.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I am always reluctant with any titles that include "50 shades" in the beginning, but for this book, I think it's appropriate. Because there were so much misguided information given in 50 Shades of Gray, Tristan Taormino's 50 Shades of Kink is a good remedy for those who are interested in trying but rightfully do not trust a work of fiction to tell you what bdsm is really like.