50 Things Every Young Lady Should Know: What to Do, What to Say, & How to Behave

( 16 )

Overview

School, clubs, soccer practice, piano lessons, study groups, latte with friends, dinner with grandparents, sleepovers, birthday parties, shopping—young ladies today are always on the go, their busy lives filled with activities and socializing. Girls interact with more people and in more places than ever before. But all of those opportunities to build friendships, make a good impression, and enjoy exciting experiences can go awry if she hasn’t learned the basics of good conduct, ...

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50 Things Every Young Lady Should Know: What to Do, What to Say, & How to Behave

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Overview

School, clubs, soccer practice, piano lessons, study groups, latte with friends, dinner with grandparents, sleepovers, birthday parties, shopping—young ladies today are always on the go, their busy lives filled with activities and socializing. Girls interact with more people and in more places than ever before. But all of those opportunities to build friendships, make a good impression, and enjoy exciting experiences can go awry if she hasn’t learned the basics of good conduct, respectful interaction, and thoughtful behavior.

While the formal rules of etiquette are not taught the way they once were, good manners are as critical today as they ever were. 50 Things Every Young Lady Should Know provides a modern update on the ageless idea that girls should know appropriate and courteous responses to any given situation. Good manners aren’t just some quaint idea and old-fashioned concept from the past. They’re an essential aspect of every young lady’s path to adulthood and the skills she will need to thrive in whatever she chooses to do. In an ever-changing world, good manners never go out of style.

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781401600648
  • Publisher: Nelson, Thomas, Inc.
  • Publication date: 11/1/2011
  • Pages: 240
  • Sales rank: 85,405
  • Product dimensions: 4.90 (w) x 8.10 (h) x 1.00 (d)

Meet the Author

Kay West is a writer and publicist who lives in Nashville. She is the food critic for The Nashville Scene, and was formerly the society editor for The Nashville Banner. She is the mother of two perfectly behaved children, Joy, age 11, and Harry, age 8.

John Bridges, author of How to Be a Gentleman, is also the coauthor, with Bryan Curtis, of seven other volumes in the best-selling GentleManners series. He is a frequent guest on television and radio news programs, always championing gentlemanly behavior in modern society. Bridges has appeared on the Today Show, the Discovery Channel, and CBS Sunday Morning, and has been profiled in People magazine and the New York Times.

Bryan Curtis is an author and the president of Dance Floor Books. He isthe author/coauthor and editor of more than 25 books, including My South, My Southern Food, Classic Wisdom for the Good Life, Classic Wisdom for the Professional Life, and the popular GentleManners series.

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Read an Excerpt

50 THINGS EVERY Young Lady SHOULD KNOW

WHAT TO DO, WHAT TO SAY, AND HOW TO BEHAVE
By KAY WEST JOHN BRIDGES BRYAN CURTIS

Thomas Nelson

Copyright © 2011 Kay West, John Bridges, and Bryan Curtis
All right reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-4016-0064-8


Chapter One

SAYING "PLEASE"

What was your first word? Your mother will probably tell you it was Mama. Your father will insist it was Dada. Your grandmother might even believe with all her heart that it was Nana. But you have no recollection. Chances are, though, that somewhere between Mama, Dada, and Nana, and before your first complete sentence, you learned the word please.

Your mother may have squatted down beside you, cookie in hand and said, "Please. I want a cookie, please," intending for you to repeat it back to her before rewarding you with the treat. Your dad may have sat down with you on the floor, ball in hand, and said, "Please play ball" before rolling it across the carpet to you. You also probably heard your parents use it with each other—"May I please have the paper when you're done with it?" "Will you please take the trash out?"—and saw the positive results.

Along with mama, daddy, ball, and cookie, please is one of the most important words you learn when you begin talking. It's hard to turn down someone who prefaces or ends a request with the word please. It doesn't matter if you are two years old and asking for a lollipop; eight years old and asking for a new backpack to replace the baby one from first grade; twelve years old and asking for money for a movie; fourteen and asking for a ride to the mall; or seventeen and asking a teacher to write a letter of recommendation for your college application. Please is a word that if you are smart—and considerate, which is just as important as being smart—you will use for the rest of your life.

You do

Say "please" consistently, to everyone, always. It doesn't matter if you're asking your brother to "pass the potatoes, please," or asking the busy clerk in the store to please wrap your purchase for your mother's birthday gift.

You don't

Treat your little brother, however annoying he may be, with any less consideration than you do a stranger. And vice versa.

Why

Because please really is a magic word that adds a layer of pleasantry to every request. The more you use it, the more natural it becomes to you.

A lady says the word please every time she makes a request, no matter how small it seems.

* * *

A lady answers, "Yes, please," if someone asks if she would like something. If not, she says, "No, thank you."

* * *

A lady knows "please" is just enough. Saying "pretty please" or "pleeeeeeeease" is unnecessary and can be annoying.

Chapter Two

SAYING "THANK YOU"

Has this ever happened to you? Your mother comes into your room while you are doing homework, lays your clean, folded laundry on your bed, stands by your desk for about ten seconds, then says, "You're welcome!" before she stomps out the door. Or your dad drops you off at your friend's house and as the car door is closing behind you, he shouts, "You're welcome!" This is not the time to roll your eyes; consider what you have not done that has irritated your mom or dad.

You might have "thank you" down pat when someone gives you something you've already asked for, but having good manners also means saying "thank you" after people do something nice when you haven't asked, or just out of the blue.

When your mom puts your clean laundry on your bed, when your dad gives you a ride, when your friend tells you how cute your outfit is, or her mom tells you after the soccer match what a great game you had, the response is as simple as "1,2, thank you."

You do

Say "thank you" anytime someone does something nice for you, no matter how well you know them.

You don't

Think you don't have to say "thank you" to your mom, your dad, or your big sister because they are family and don't count.

Why

Because family is where good manners begin, not where they end.

You do

Say "thank you" when a teacher compliments your drawing, or the piano teacher remarks kindly on your playing, even if you're not happy with your drawing or your performance.

You don't

Reply "it's ugly!" or "I was terrible!" even if you feel you could have done better.

Why

Because rejecting someone's kind comments on your accomplishment implies they have no taste, and that's insulting.

You do

Say "thank you" to the person who just made your strawberry-banana smoothie, handed you your change at the market, or gave you a program at the hockey game.

You don't

Assume that because people are "doing their jobs" they don't deserve to be thanked for that particular interaction with you.

Why

Because it makes people feel good to know their efforts are appreciated, and why wouldn't you want to make someone feel good?

A lady smiles and makes eye contact when she says "thank you."

* * *

A lady says "thank you" even when the person she is thanking is on the other end of the phone.

* * *

A lady says "thank you" even if no one else has—or especially if no one else has done so.

Chapter Three

SAYING "EXCUSE ME"

When it comes to the vocabulary of good manners, no phrase is more multifunctional or comes in handier than "excuse me."

You say "please" when asking for something and "thank you" when someone has done something for you or given you something nice. But "excuse me" has nearly as many uses as a Swiss Army pocketknife. It can be used as a request, as an attention getter, or as a type of apology when an apology isn't really necessary but not saying anything would be rude.

If you're walking down a crowded hall at school and happen to accidentally bump into someone, you say "excuse me."

If the only two remaining seats together at the movie theater are smack in the middle of the aisle, as you and your friend squeeze past each person, you should quietly say "excuse me." If you happen to step on the foot of someone who hasn't had the good sense to tuck it under his or her chair, you should add "I'm sorry."

If a group of people are chatting with one another and blocking a doorway you need to go through, you don't have to wait for them to move on; just say "excuse me" politely but loudly enough so they can hear you, and they'll let you right through.

If someone has spoken to you and you couldn't hear the entire sentence, you say "excuse me?" as a question, and they'll gladly repeat what they said.

In general, girls are far more careful than boys about belching at the table, but it happens, and when it does, there is no need to act as if it didn't. A simple "excuse me" is sufficient.

You do

Say "excuse me" if you have to walk through the middle of a line of people at the concession stand.

You don't

Scoot through when you see an opening as if no one will notice.

Why

People waiting in line can be very protective of their spots but will be happy to step back if they know your intention is not to butt in.

You do

Say "excuse me?" if you haven't heard what someone has said to you and would like them to repeat it.

You don't

Say "huh?"

Why

"Huh" sounds as if you are grunting, and young ladies don't grunt unless they are moving heavy objects or involved in an athletic endeavor.

You do

Say "excuse me" if you need to interrupt someone, even if it's your own mom on the computer or your dad reading a book.

You don't

Fidget, wave your arms around, or sigh dramatically.

Why

Because saying "excuse me" is a perfectly acceptable way to get someone's attention.

A lady always says "excuse me" to get someone's attention, not "hey" or "um."

* * *

A lady says "excuse me" when passing in front of someone's line of vision, whether that's in front of the lipstick display at the pharmacy or a painting in a museum.

Chapter Four

BEING INTRODUCED

There's a reason that something is repeated over and over again, until it becomes one of those things that parents call "an old saying." It's because it has been tested by time and proven to be true. "The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence." "Don't count your chickens before they hatch." "The early bird gets the worm."

When your parents start a conversation with "There's an old saying ...," you should resist sighing loudly and instead listen to what they have to say, especially this: "You never get a second chance to make a first impression."

First impressions count, which is why the way you respond when being introduced to someone, especially an older someone, is very important.

Let's say your mother has dropped you off at your father's office so he can take you to soccer practice. You are reading a magazine while you wait for him to pack up his briefcase. His boss walks into his office, and your father says, "Diana, this is my daughter Evelyn. Evelyn, this is Ms. Reid."

If you remain seated in your chair, barely look up over the top of the magazine, and mumble, "Hello" or even worse, "Hey," your father's boss will forever remember you as the rude young woman who didn't know the first thing about respect for older people.

When you are introduced to another person, the right thing to do is to look at the person and say, "It's nice to meet you Sam/Tressa/Mrs. Brooks/Mr. Tate/Reverend Stevens/Dr. Mayer." If the person you are being introduced to is your age, and it seems appropriate to shake hands, you can do so. If the person you are being introduced to is an adult, you wait for that person to extend their hand first, and if they do, offer a firm handshake, though not a tight grip.

If your father's boss walks into his office while you are reading a magazine, the first thing you do, even before your father gets one word out of his mouth, is close the magazine, set it on a table, and stand up. When your father says, "Diana, this is my daughter Evelyn. Evelyn, this is Ms. Reid," you make eye contact with Ms. Reid, smile, and say, "It's nice to meet you, Ms. Reid." If she extends her hand, shake it.

Five years down the road when you and your dad run into Ms. Reid in a restaurant or at a movie theater and he says to her, "Diana, do you remember my daughter Evelyn?" Ms. Reid will remember you as the very poised and polite young woman with impeccable manners whom she met in your father's office one afternoon. And that's certainly preferable to the alternative because one day you might want an internship or summer job at your father's company. You just never know.

You do

Repeat the person's name to whom you are being introduced.

You don't

Just say "hello" and think that covers it.

Why

Repeating a person's name back helps you remember their name for future reference, an invaluable asset.

You do

Stop what you are doing when you are being introduced.

You don't

Simply wave the hot dog you're eating at the ball game toward the person you're being introduced to.

Why

If someone thinks enough of you to introduce you to someone else, don't embarrass everyone—especially yourself—by acting as if you couldn't be bothered.

A lady smiles and makes eye contact with the person she is being introduced to.

* * *

A lady remembers that first impressions are lasting impressions.

* * *

If the person making introductions has somehow forgotten your name, a lady comes to the rescue by offering it herself. "Hello, I'm Mandy" is all that is needed to save the situation.

Chapter Five

MAKING INTRODUCTIONS

If you've ever been invited to a birthday party for a girl you know from elementary school, but now you go to different middle schools and you don't really know any of her new friends, you were probably really anxious. You may have tried to get out of it by telling your mom, "But I don't know anybody." And your mom probably said, "You know Meaghan and it's her birthday and she invited you, so you're going. Besides, it's a chance to meet some new girls, and it's only two hours, and anybody can do anything for two hours."

That really didn't make you feel any better, and you were still a nervous wreck when you got there. But when Meaghan introduced you to her new friends and told them what a great soccer player you are and that her friend Carrie also played soccer, that gave you and Carrie something to talk about, and eventually you found out that Carrie also runs track in the spring and so does Laura. Before you knew it two hours had flown by, you had a great time, and you and Carrie had exchanged phone numbers.

Introductions are a way to help people feel included and as if they matter to you, so it is important to know how to properly make them.

If you are with one friend and run into another friend and you are all on your way somewhere else, it's enough to say, "Liza, this is Carrie. Carrie, this is Liza. We're going to a movie. Talk to you soon!" If you are all at the same party or event, you can add a bit more. "Liza, this is Meaghan. She and I went to Grassland Elementary together, but now she goes to Highlands Middle. Meaghan, Liza is on the soccer team with me at school."

If you are with your parents, you say, "Mom and Dad, this is Carrie. We met at Meaghan's party and she runs track for Highlands Middle." You do not need to add, "Carrie, these are my parents." That is pretty obvious.

If you are with your mother, and you run into your soccer coach at the post office, you say, "Mom, this is Coach Howe. She is my soccer coach." Your mom will probably already know that if she has been going to your games, but it never hurts to refresh someone's memory, especially when it comes to names.

You do

Include something personal about a friend you are introducing to your parents, like "Mom, this is Olga. She moved here from Germany last year."

You don't

Just say, "Mom, this is Olga."

Why

Because knowing a little something about your friend gives your parents an opening to get to know your friend a little better, which is reassuring for parents.

You do

Introduce a newcomer to a group of people she doesn't know, even if you don't know everyone's name in the group. You can simply say, "Everyone, this is Carrie. We went to elementary school together."

You don't

Say hello to the newcomer, then resume your conversation with your other friends.

Why

Not being introduced makes a person feel invisible and unimportant, and no one wants to make anyone feel that way.

A lady always introduces the younger person to the older person. "Grandma, this is Elizabeth." Not, "Elizabeth, this is my grandmother."

* * *

A lady can introduce herself to someone by saying her own name first. "Hello, I'm Jana Jones." Ideally, the other person will reply, "Hello, I'm Hannah Rogers."

(Continues...)



Excerpted from 50 THINGS EVERY Young Lady SHOULD KNOW by KAY WEST JOHN BRIDGES BRYAN CURTIS Copyright © 2011 by Kay West, John Bridges, and Bryan Curtis. Excerpted by permission of Thomas Nelson. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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Table of Contents

Contents

Introduction....................ix
1. Saying "Please"....................1
2. Saying "Thank You"....................4
3. Saying "Excuse Me"....................8
4. Being Introduced....................12
5. Making Introductions....................16
6. Paying a Compliment....................20
7. Accepting a Compliment....................23
8. Making an Apology....................26
9. Accepting an Apology....................30
10. Asking Permission....................34
11. Asking for a Favor....................38
12. Borrowing Clothes....................42
13. Talking and Listening to Adults....................46
14. Being a Dinner Guest....................51
15. The Napkin....................56
16. The Place Setting....................60
17. Food Allergies and Dislikes....................65
18. Dining in a Restaurant....................69
19. Public Staircases and Hallways....................74
20. Choosing and Giving a Gift....................78
21. Accepting a Gift....................82
22. Writing a Thank-You Note....................86
23. Expressing Sympathy....................92
24. Telephones and Messages....................97
25. Cell Phones: Talking and Texting....................103
26. The Computer....................109
27. Using Social Networks....................114
28. Taking Photographs....................121
29. Gossiping and Keeping Secrets....................126
30. The Slumber Party....................130
31. Losing Graciously....................134
32. In an Audience....................138
33. Attending a Religious Service....................143
34. Traveling on a Plane....................147
35. Dressing Appropriately....................152
36. Cosmetics....................156
37. Fragrance....................161
38. Personal Grooming....................165
39. Managing a Personal Emergency....................169
40. Sitting....................173
41. Walking....................176
42. Entering and Exiting a Car....................180
43. Help with Your Coat and Other Small Courtesies....................184
44. Responding to Invitations....................188
45. Would You Like to Dance?....................193
46. The Dating Game....................199
47. Being a Considerate Houseguest....................204
48. Being a Good Hostess....................208
49. Boundaries....................212
50. Helping Others....................216
About the Authors....................221
Index....................223
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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4.5
( 16 )
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Sort by: Showing all of 16 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted May 16, 2012

    I liked this book. The only thing I wish the book had that it d

    I liked this book. The only thing I wish the book had that it doesn't is a picture page of a place setting for a formal dinner. I believe that a picture is worth a thousand words and a quick picture reference page would have been a great addition to the book.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted November 27, 2011

    Good Book that's Needed!

    I certainly recommend this. If you have a young lady in your life, I would highly, highly recommend this. Even as an adult, I found rules in this book that I was never aware of. The suggestions in this book are really good, and in an age when manners don't seem to be as important, this is a really good read. The rules do mostly seem to be common sense, but a lot of the rules are things that I don't see many people obeying, so it might not be as common-sense as I originally imagined. The rules seem to all be things that the average person should know, though, so I definitely think that it's a good read. My only two complaints: A) the book is a bit too narrow to be held comfortably open for reading, and B) Sometimes the book seems a bit sexist in the fact that these are things only "women" should be doing.

    Other than those two points, I am fond of the book, and I'd recommend it. The book covers things like asking permission, asking for a favor, taking photographs, traveling on a plane, walking, sitting, exiting and entering a car, and tons of other topics.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted November 1, 2011

    Highly Recommended

    50 Things Every Young Lady Should Know ~ What to do, When to do it, and Why

    With all of the events, parties, and social organizations girls are a part of they interact with more people than almost anyone else on earth. But it seems like with how full their lives are, they've missed out on one of the most important things: how to be a lady.
    50 Things Every Young Lady Should Know teaches a young girl how to use good manners in a way they aren't taught today. Everything from taking and receiving a compliment, to talking and listening to adults, good table manners and even what to do when asked to dance.
    The authors will teach girls through this book what you should never put on you Facebook wall, how to respond to your parents, and what to do when your friend gives you a movie you already own.
    All the advice in this book is essential for any young lady wishing to make a lasting impact with anyone and everyone she comes in contact with.
    A book perfect for moms or grandmothers to go through with their pre-teen daughthers/grand-daughters, or for older teens and young adult to read on their own; an easy go to gift, for any girl.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted October 11, 2011

    Learn Your Manners

    In today's culture behaving like a young lady is a fast becoming a thing of the past. It is so refreshing to see that there are still people out there who care enough to raise their daughter's to behave like young ladies. 50 Things Every Young Lady Should Know is the latest book in the GentleManners series and was written for girls ages 8-14.



    Topics covered in 50 Things Every Young Lady Should Know include:


    .Making conversation with adults
    .Accepting a gift you don't like
    .Using social media
    .Dressing appropriately
    .Winning and losing graciously
    .Writing a thank you note

    Each situtation is described,defined and then followed by "What you do," "What you DON'T do" and "Why." This book is easy to read that communicates it's ideas in a very clear manner. Most people will say that these are very basic are elementry topcs but if you look around you will see that basic manners is fast becoming a things of the past. This book is a great starting tool for those who are looking to teach their young girls manners or just looking for reinforcement.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 13, 2012

    Good

    I recommend getting this!!! It offers great information for young ladies. I don't hav eit on my NOOK¿Tablet, but the actual book and it is pretty good. I an only on like chapter 10 and have learned a few things but once I read more I know I will learn LOTS more!!!!! :)

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted October 27, 2011

    best read in a long time!!!!

    I have finished reading "50 Things Every Young Lady Should Know". it is written by Kay West with John Bridges and Bryan Curtis. I was very keen to get this book because I have four little lady's at home ranging from 8 to 1. I flew threw this book faster than imagined, then read it again. The book is very easy to read each chapter is quick and to the point and has wonderful guidelines at the end to help you with what you just read. After reading I think this book should be taught in grade one and two, It is full of common sense that people don't seem to have now a days. The book has a chapter for each thing they teach. These 50 thing's range from how and when to say please and thank you, being a dinner guest, the computer, personal grooming, and helping others.

    I recommend every one to read this book not just the parents with little girls. the hole world could do with a health dose of manner and kindness. I have had the pleasure of reading this book for free. I received this book threw booksneeze dot com. and they supply me with books for free as long as I write a review on them. This book needless to say has earned a five star rating from me. Enjoy!!!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 6, 2014

    Etiquette has it's own reward.

    This book was able to change so many young girls attitudes! Saying this as a fourteen year old girl, so many of the advice chapters that the book gave. This is really useful, I recommend this book to other girls, and I think a lot of moms will agree!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 5, 2014

    Recommended by a tween - and her mom!

    In my 12-yr old daughter's own words, she likes this book because it tells her exactly what she should say/do. She also appreciates that it is written in an easy to read, often bulleted format. I'm simply happy that she's reading it and seems to enjoy it!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted September 28, 2013

    Madi

    Actually i have a heart and so wat im only a bi<_>tch because u pis<_>s me off

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted October 21, 2011

    50 Things Every Young Lady Should Know

    50 Things Every Young Lady Should Know: What to Do, What to Say, & How to Behave is a Thomas Nelson book I recently read written by Kay West with John Bridges and Bryan Curtis. The book gives young girls practical advice for things like being a dinner guest, expressing sympathy, asking permission, borrowing clothes, saying "excuse me", and cosmetics. There book is broken into 50 chapters, and each chapters look at a different concept. Each chapter then gives examples of "You Do" and "You Don't". The chapters also end with quotes of what a lady does.

    I thought this book was cute, and it is a good reference for an adult to use when their child asks them questions or when they are going to be spending time with another family for the first time. I really enjoyed reading through this book. It was a quick read, and it will be a perfect gift for a young family member.

    I received this book free of charge from the Booksneeze Bloggers Program. I was not required to write a positive review of this book.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted October 17, 2011

    Loved it! Perfect to pass on through the family.

    This book is just what I have been looking for! With two young ladies in my house I couldn't wait to read 50 Things Every Young Lady Should Know by Kay West with John Bridges and Bryan Curtis. It is so simply composed. Geared toward the 12-14 age range, this book is a collection of 50 logical reminders of how to act in public, with friends and even personal grooming. Each chapter has just a few short paragraphs with relatable situations followed by "do's" and "don'ts" on the topic. Starting off with saying please and working through more difficult social situations such as social networking, the book is easy enough to be read by a nine year old but mature enough for a teenager. This modern and upbeat etiquette guide would make a great gift for young women who are at the beginning of their road to womanhood.
    As soon as I opened the envelope this book came in my nine year old daughter exclaimed "Is that MINE!?" Once I explained I was planning on reading it first, she curiously asked how long I would be borrowing her new book. My plan is to let her read this at her own pace. I know as she progresses through the chapters we will have the opportunity to discuss the various issues covered. I am just thankful I have a guide to help me tackle this new stage of our lives.
    Booksneeze provided my free book to review!

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  • Posted October 11, 2011

    Great for young ladies

    I really thought this book was a good idea and nice read for the younger generation and for young ladies. It has different subjects on different things in life that ladies should know and learn in life. It would make a great gift for your daughters or granddaughter's. Young people today are coming up in a generation that don't know how to handle certain situations in a right manner and polite way. The topics range from just the basic way of saying "Thank you" or "Accepting gifts" that you don't like or even in public places like saying excuse me or respecting other people. It also cute little sayings at the end of each topic. I really enjoyed this little book and thank young ladies would benefit from it in today's world. It's shows them the way they should act in situations.
    Got book free from booksneeze for my honest review

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  • Anonymous

    Posted October 18, 2012

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted February 5, 2012

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted November 7, 2011

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted February 2, 2012

    No text was provided for this review.

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