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50 Ways to Play: BDSM for Nice People

50 Ways to Play: BDSM for Nice People

3.8 9
by Debra Macleod, Don Macleod

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This simple and highly accessible non-fiction guide to BDSM (Bondage, Dominance, Sadism, and Masochism) features 50 edgy and erotic adventures to sample and is the perefct companion for the millions of fans of the Fifty Shades trilogy (Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker and Fifty Shades Freed), the Anne Rice/A.N. Roquelaure


This simple and highly accessible non-fiction guide to BDSM (Bondage, Dominance, Sadism, and Masochism) features 50 edgy and erotic adventures to sample and is the perefct companion for the millions of fans of the Fifty Shades trilogy (Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker and Fifty Shades Freed), the Anne Rice/A.N. Roquelaure Sleeping Beauty trilogy (The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty, Beauty's Punishment, Beauty's Release) and Sylvia Day's Crossfire novels (Bared to You and Reflected in You). This instruction book for couples contains one warning: you should try this at home!

From turning your ho hum bedroom into a “Red Room of Desire,” to exploring the fine art of Japanese rope bondage—and a few other ideas perhaps better not mentioned in polite company—50 Ways to Play invites couples who might otherwise think of themselves as “average” or “nice” to walk on the wild side. According to husband-and-wife writers Debra and Don Macleod, sex should pack a punch—it’s meant to catch you off guard. The fifty sexy and surprising “ways to play” offered up in this book are guaranteed to turn up the heat in your sex life.

Product Details

Penguin Publishing Group
Publication date:
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Product dimensions:
5.12(w) x 6.96(h) x 0.31(d)

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Title Page

Copyright Page


1. A Red Room of Pleasure & Pain

2. Sexual Domination & Submission

3. Delayed Sexual Gratification

4. Behavioral Restraint & Mind Games

5. Bedroom Bondage & Restraint

6. Japanese Rope Bondage

7. The Ottoman Empire

8. Suspended Sex

9. Hold Me Down

10. Sex & Sensory Deprivation

11. Pain & Pleasure

12. Erotic Spanking

13. Flogging Instruments

14. Love Bites & Scratches

15. Nipple Clamps & Toys

16. Feel the Burn

17. When Ice Is Nice

18. Glass Toys & Temperature Play

19. Talk Dirty to Me

20. The Sounds of Sex

21. A Public Power Play

22. BDSM Rituals

23. What Should I Wear?

24. Voyeurism & Exhibitionism

25. Erotic Humiliation

26. BDSM & Self-Pleasuring

27. Rough Sex & Force Fantasies

28. Orgasm Control

29. A BDSM Sex Toy Box

30. The Power Pull

31. Erotic Electrostimulation

32. Tickling

33. Erotic Torture

34. Bondage Positions

35. Crotch Ropes

36. Sexual Positions & Thrusting Techniques

37. Fetishes

38. BDSM & Cunnilingus, Part I

39. BDSM & Fellatio, Part I

40. BDSM & Cunnilingus, Part II

41. BDSM & Fellatio, Part II

42. Anal Play

43. Anal Sex

44. Sex & Mirrors

45. Pornography

46. Erotica

47. BDSM & Defamiliarization

48. A BDSM (Romantic?) Getaway

49. The Softer, Soapier Side of BDSM

50. Aftercare

About the Authors

Sex is supposed to pack a punch. It’s supposed to take you off guard, make you hold your breath for what might come next, gasp with discovery, quicken your pulse and consume you, mind, body and soul. Sexual desire should make you say and do things that you would never normally say or do, and the severity of physical sensations should paralyze you. Sex should set you on fire, so that an unrecognizable shade of yourself comes alive in the smolder.

Take this pop quiz to see whether your sex life is as body-and-mind-blowing as it should or could be.

Pop Quiz

1. Are you physically aroused by the intensity of your partner’s desire for you?

2. Do you find yourself fantasizing about unorthodox sex acts with your partner?

3. Do you feel physically and emotionally exhausted after sex?

4. Is erotic desire a prevailing theme in your relationship?

5. Do you occasionally feel (pleasant) pain or (exciting) fear during sex?

6. Do you regularly lose yourself in erotic role-playing, restraint or rough sex?

7. Do you imagine being “used” by your partner during sex, or using him/her?

8. Do you use a variety of sexual aids to intensely stimulate all your senses during sex?

9. Does your partner sometimes seem like a different person during sex? Do you?

10. Do you revel in the sexual anticipation of what your partner will do next?

If you or your partner answered “no” to any of these questions, you’re not alone. Many couples feel that sex has lost its erotic impact and, if you’re one of them, it’s time to add a few kinky weapons to your after-dark arsenal. Actually, forget “a few” and add lots of them. Moderation is for sexual puritans. There are fifty thrills and chills in this book, boldly borrowed from the world of BDSM—Bondage, Domination, Sadism and Masochism. These edgy ideas are guaranteed to get the juices flowing and the nerves firing like never before. And despite their deviant reputation, they are essential elements of a healthy sex life, even for nice people like you.

For some reason, romance and gentle lovemaking have a monopoly on mainstream sex. Of course, sex should be loving and meaningful. But that doesn’t mean you always have to stare deeply into each other’s eyes or move as one in the missionary position. Consensual rough-and-tumble sex, with a dose of high-sensory kink and BDSM for good measure, is noticeably absent from many couples’ sex lives, and many partners are unhappy with the vacancy. They complain of bland, routine sex lives and crave something harder and faster, something that consumes them with desire, excitement and exhilaration. They want something that injects an erotic buzz into their everyday life and makes them long for nightfall.

Gentle caresses and candlelight can’t always do that. That is why I never suggest romance movies to “spice up” a love life. I can’t think of anything more predictable. Instead, I recommend horror films. They get the blood pumping and the adrenaline flowing. They make you hold your breath and wait for the ax to fall. They bring energy and excitement into your evening. Think of this book as a horror flick as opposed to a romantic “chick flick.” You and your partner can enjoy it together, without any risk of falling asleep halfway through.

Not too long ago, I had occasion to visit a legal brothel in Nevada on business. I was given a tour of the facilities by a friendly courtesan in high heels and a garter, and several of the working ladies showed me their “bedrooms,” which they were allowed to decorate as they wished. The irresistible appeal of the place became tangible the moment I stepped into these bedrooms.

Each prostitute’s bedroom was decorated in classic bordello style. The walls were painted in solid, bold, deep colors—scarlet red or burgundy, emerald green or deep, deep purple. Almost every king-sized bed had a canopy over it, with sheer fabric flowing down to envelop the square of the bed into an even more private and sensual space. The bedding was satin and the air was fragranced with intoxicating incense. There was absolutely no mistaking what was supposed to happen in those rooms. These ladies were professionals at setting the mood.

Look around your bedroom. What do you see? A laundry hamper full of dirty clothes? An exercise bike in the corner? A pile of bills on the dresser? A laptop on the nightstand? Boring beige walls with cheesy, cheap-feeling flower-print bedding? Chances are, your bedroom couldn’t be a less sexy space if you dragged in the toilet, sat on the lid, and started clipping your toenails in front of the person you’re supposed to be seducing.

It’s time to transform your bland bedroom into a spicy boudoir. Get rid of anything that doesn’t scream sex. Throw caution and those interior design magazines to the wind, and roll some cathouse color onto your walls to instantly create an arousing ambience. Add a canopy over the bed, one that can enclose you and your partner within. Trash those flimsy vertical blinds and hang deeply colored velvet drapes that block every trace of light. Lay a luxurious area rug over that oh-so-functional laminate flooring. It’s a raunchier room already, isn’t it?

Because your new bedroom is pulling double duty as an adult playroom, it should also have an “adult toy box” in which you can hide—under lock and key if necessary—some of your BDSM playthings. Find an old trunk at a garage sale and spray-paint it scarlet red or glossy black. Or find a stiff cardboard box with a lid and wrap it in purple velvet. As you read each way to play, you’ll get ideas of what items you might want to put in this toy box (see #29).

Meet the Author

Debra and Don Macleod are the husband-and-wife authors of Lube Jobs: A Woman's Guide to Great Maintenance Sex, Lip Service: A His and Hers Guide to the Art of Oral Sex and Seduction, and The French Maid: And 21  More Naughty Sex Fantasies to Surprise and Arouse Your Man. Their books have been covered widely in newspapers across the country including The New York Times and USA Today and been awarded “Best in Bed” by Women’s Health Magazine. In her various capacities as a marriage and divorce mediator, a couples’ communication and conflict resolution specialist, Debra has helped thousands of couples resolve their problems and improve their relationships. For more information, visit her website debramacleod.com.

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50 Ways to Play: BDSM for Nice People 3.9 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 9 reviews.
Streamer More than 1 year ago
I was offered the chance to review this book. I thought it might be interesting as my husband and I have played around with BDSM a bit but never delved deeply into it. I decided I had better run it by my husband first , just in case he didn’t share my interest in exploring. His response was a very enthusiastic, “Hell Yeah!” so I agreed to do the review. We received the book and I wasn’t expecting much. It’s a small book, just a bit larger than a regular paperback, and it’s right around 100 pages long. How much detail could they really go into in such a small book? Our plan going in was that we would both read it, discuss our thoughts on the book as a whole, discuss the ideas presented in the book, decide if we wanted to try any of those ideas, and then we would get to the fun part of trying those ideas. I read the book first and then gave it to my husband. It’s a quick read and we were each finished it in a couple of hours. We agreed it was very user friendly and appreciated the small bits of humor that were thrown in. It starts out with the basics and gives easy to understand descriptions of methods and tools used in BDSM. I liked that everything was presented and it was up to us to pick and choose which things were appealing to us. My husband was happy to see that the authors covered such a wide range of topics. They went from extremely basic concepts all the way through more advanced practices. We agreed that this book would be good for people just discovering BDSM or with only a little bit of experience. We fall into the slightly experienced category so it was great for us. When we finally had some uninterrupted, child-free time, we sat down and discussed all 50 ideas in depth. My husband and I regularly talk about fantasies and turn-ons, so I was surprised at how many topics the book brought up that we had never discussed before. There were things we both dismissed immediately, some things only one of us found arousing, things we had been doing previously, and then the new things we both found appealing and wanted to try. We each learned some new things about our partner that day. We ended up talking and shopping for new toys online for a couple of hours. It was fun and a nice bonding experience for us. There were a few things we weren’t impressed with. We both thought that kitchen utensils as sex toys or spanking devices weren’t a great idea. My husband thought the detailed thrusting techniques for penetration were common knowledge and most of them should not have been included. I disagreed and told him that if he already knew all of them, he should have been using more of those techniques previously :) I thought the anal play and anal sex sections were lacking in a lot of details. My husband disagreed and said I have an abnormal interest in all things anal and it was more than adequate for normal people :) In the end, we were already practicing 24 items, 19 items dismissed due to lack of mutual interest, and 7 new things to try. We have a fairly well stocked toy box but decided to add a few more things to it. My husband has been wanting a piece of furniture for a while now and finally convinced me that it would be a good idea with the help of this book. The others were variations in practice or behavior we plan on adding. None of them are going to drastically change our sex life, they will simply add a bit more variation in what we’ve been doing. The biggest benefit for us was gettiing to know each other a bit better.
happydaysAP More than 1 year ago
I am a fan of the 50 Shades series and this little gem is perfect to help make "fantasy" into reality. Lots of awesome ideas that were VERY sexy but not at all threatening or gross. Probably not a great choice if you're really into a hardcore bdsm lifestyle but perfect for couples who are bored and need some surprise factor and new ideas. Surprisingly well written and funny as well. Made us look forward to going to bed.
RtBBlog More than 1 year ago
Reviewed by Deana Book provided by NetGalley for review Review originally posted at Romancing the Book 50 Ways to Play is a great on the surface look at the world of BDSM. For some people this topic is very taboo and for others it is an everyday lifestyle. For people like me who want to know more and are a bit too shy to ask, this book is a great starting point. 50 Ways to Play: BDSM for Nice People is the perfect book to start a new journey which can increase your basic knowledge taking you from reader to partaking. I thought it was a very user friendly book and enjoyed the small bits of wit and humor that were though out the book. It begins out with the basics and gives easy to understand descriptions of the practices and tools used in BDSM. I liked how everything was presented, allowing the reader to pick and choose which things were appealing without going beyond your own safe area. I was happy to see that the authors covered such a wide range of topics. They went from simple, basic concepts all the way through more advanced practices. I think this book is good for people just discovering BDSM or with only a little bit of experience. Or the people that just want to spice up your love life. I enjoyed reading this book and learned a few things through reading. You may find it amazing what can be considered a BDSM act!!
AliciaWynner55 More than 1 year ago
This book is great as an introduction. It provides lots of good details and focuses especially on safety.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Really liked the bits about restraint, candle play, glass, and the fantasies.
Alex Chapman More than 1 year ago
Definitely grabbing onto the coattails of the Fifty Shades of Gray books but what the hell. This is a hot item. I'd recommend it. We've been together for almost 8 years and have never tried or came up with half the stuffi in this book so it's worth the $.
mistress-evil More than 1 year ago
very good read very informative.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago