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50 Ways to Read Your Lover: Secret Strategies That Reveal the Real Him

50 Ways to Read Your Lover: Secret Strategies That Reveal the Real Him

by Todd Lyon

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Who Is the Man You Love?
Well, that depends. Does he rescue stray cats? Do his pupils widen when he looks at you? Are his thumbs especially long? Is he an only child?
Questions such as these are anything but random; the answers can help determine the true nature of the man you desire. In this provocative yet playful collection of quizzes, Todd Lyon


Who Is the Man You Love?
Well, that depends. Does he rescue stray cats? Do his pupils widen when he looks at you? Are his thumbs especially long? Is he an only child?
Questions such as these are anything but random; the answers can help determine the true nature of the man you desire. In this provocative yet playful collection of quizzes, Todd Lyon draws upon ancient mysticism, modern psychology, common sense, and uncommon sense -- all with the goal of uncovering the secrets of your lover's soul.
Some love-divining techniques you already know about (astrology, palmistry, the Tarot); some you don't (what the contents of his refrigerator says about him). It's like having a whole library of romantic reference books magically condensed to fit in your purse. Whether the man on your mind is a distant crush or a long-term partner, you can use this book to:

  • Test his emotional availability
  • Predict his bedroom behavior
  • Analyze his body language
  • Judge his control-freak quotient
  • Rate his Prince Charming potential

Hikers have their compasses. Pilots have their global positioning systems. Now you, O seeker of lasting love, can cut a true path through the jungle of relationships, using 50 Ways to Read Your Lover as your insightful, timeless, and endlessly entertaining guide.

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Read an Excerpt

50 Ways to Read Your Lover

Secret Strategies That Reveal the Real Him
By Todd Lyon


Copyright © 2003 Todd Lyon
All right reserved.

ISBN: 9780743229562

From The Chapter One: A Spy in the House of Love

In the early throes of love, every woman is a private investigator. Including you.

Don't deny it. I've been there. I know.

Whether you're sizing up a hunky stranger or testing the worthiness of your new or possible new boyfriend, your antennae are fully extended, straining to pick up clues that may affect your romantic future. But you don't want to get caught, right? You don't want to seem anxious. You especially don't want to seem needy, nosy, aggressive, or -- God forbid -- desperate.

Relax. Chapter One is at your rescue. Its exercises can supply you with tons of valuable insights about the guy, without his suspecting a thing. Most are based on your own private observations (face reading, pupil reactions, body language), while some require basic information to work with (handwriting analysis, numerology, sleep positions).

You needn't say a word to anyone. Learn what you can, smile a private smile, and remember that information is power.

Copyright © 2003 by Todd Lyon and Lark Productions, LLC

From Chapter One: Body Language

One delightfully sneaky way to get to know the "real him" is to observe and analyze his body language. This method is most accurate when used in business settings, although it can also work in social situations. Be aware that each position relates tothe circumstances at hand and shouldn't be used to judge his overall character -- just his reaction to what's going on at the moment.

Sitting Down

Does he straddle the chair in a backwards fashion? This deliberate posturing is an attempt to appear special and somehow superior. Yet, for all its insolence, it is a position that protects the sitter and thus reveals a certain vulnerability.

Does he sling one leg over a chair arm? He's telling the world that he's cool and relaxed, taking everything in stride. Question: Is he truly relaxed, or is he masking an inner insecurity?

Does he sit with legs crossed, hands behind his head? This is the classic stance of the bored and/or supremely confident. But there is a double message being sent: on one hand, he's exposing his chest area, which is what alpha dogs and other pack leaders of the animal kingdom dare to do; on the other hand, he's protecting himself below the waist. You be the judge.

Does he lean slightly forward, with arms and legs relaxed? He's hedging his bets. He will accept you and treat you as an equal as long as you return the favor.


Does he put his hands on his hips? A dominant posture, this can either indicate extreme confidence, minor defensiveness, or underlying anger.

Does he fold his arms in front of his chest? This self-protective stance radiates mistrust. He won't open up until he's absolutely convinced that you deserve his energy and attention.

Does he put his arms behind his back? Even though it doesn't appear to have an ounce of aggressiveness, this is a take-charge posture that is usually adopted by those who are in complete control of the situation at hand.

Does he keep his arms relaxed at his sides? Calm and confident, this position indicates a secure person who is ready for open, honest dialogue.

Sitting at His Desk

Does he lean his head on one hand? This usually means that he's distracted and not really paying attention to what's going on.

Does he plant both his elbows in front of him, with his hands and fingers meeting in a steeple position? He's alert and fairly interested in what you're saying, yet a wee bit cautious.

Does he lean slightly forward, with his hands resting on the desk surface? He's fully tuned in, wanting to hear what you have to say and ready to respond.

Copyright © 2003 by Todd Lyon and Lark Productions, LLC

From Chapter One: Sex Forecasting

We try to be ladylike, but in the throes of a major crush, even uptight schoolmarms can't help but wonder: Is he any good in bed? There are ways to find out besides calling up his ex-girlfriends and pumping them for details.

Body language experts believe that people give off physical clues that mirror their sexual styles. When you check out your man, try seeing him through new eyes, using the following theories as your guide.


• A sloppy, slumped-over posture can indicate a lack of physical confidence; this guy is probably a bit timid and may not take the lead in bed.

• If a man has a relaxed posture and uses plenty of range of motion when he's in the vertical mode, chances are he'll do the same in the horizontal mode.

• A highly controlled posture is one indication of a controlling nature. It's likely that he's a guy who wants to call the shots.


Speech patterns are an indication of rhythm. If both of you are fast talkers, great. But if you're slow and considered in your speech, and he's a verbal racehorse, it's not a great sign. If the two of you can get into a comfortable conversational rhythm, the prospect of mutual physical rhythm is good.


• A man who touches you easily and often during conversation is probably a sensual, affectionate guy who is in touch with, well, touch. Just what you want.

• If he's stiff and standoffish or flinches when he's touched, he's either scared to death or physically inhibited. Warming him up will be quite a challenge and may not be worth the effort in the long run.

• The guy who touches himself all the time -- you know, he runs his fingers through his hair, rubs his chin, adjusts his clothing, crosses and uncrosses his legs -- is either charmingly self-conscious or just plain vain. Self-conscious men need a bit of coaxing. Vain men are often selfish and emotionally distant under the covers.

Social Gestures

• The guy who runs to open doors and pull out chairs is a rare gem. But if he orders your meal off a menu without your input, makes detailed arrangements without consulting you, or tells you what to wear or how to act, he's the controlling type. He just might elect himself Ruler of the Relationship and assign you the role of Arm Candy. Unless you're a passive hero-worshipper, this union doesn't point toward sexual symmetry.

• Is gallant an alien word to him? Is he oblivious to your needs? Does it not even occur to him to offer you his jacket when you're shivering in the cold? If so, he could be self-centered and uninterested in you as a person, sexual or otherwise. Or, he could be a decent yet inexperienced guy in need of a woman to teach him the finer points of courtship and romance.

• Some men always call if they're going to be late...drop you off at the restaurant before searching for a parking space...and gently tell you if you have broccoli in your teeth. This combination of honesty and kindness is known as consideration, and the man who possesses it is likely a great companion, whether you're making conversation, making love, or making breakfast.

Copyright © 2003 by Todd Lyon and Lark Productions, LLC


Excerpted from 50 Ways to Read Your Lover by Todd Lyon Copyright © 2003 by Todd Lyon. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Meet the Author

Todd Lyon has written more than a dozen books, including The Intuitive Businesswoman, The New Year's Eve Compendium, and Hugs & Kisses. She is a columnist for the New Haven Register, and her articles have appeared in Cosmopolitan, Saveur, Biography, and Bust. She lives in New Haven, Connecticut.

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