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Begin at the Beginning of the Day
Making love. It probably begins with a touch, a glance, whatever signal you and your partner exchange as the evening progresses that says, Let's. But anticipation is one of the most delicious parts of any sexual encounter.
I'm sure you've read a novel or watched a movie or TV show in which there's a he and a she who you know will eventually end up in bed together. You avidly turn the pages or urge time to pass as you wait for the spark to become a flame. Everything that they do leading up to the "big moment" increases the sexual tension, for them and for you. Anticipation! It can be like that for you and your partner.
But shouldn't sex be spontaneous? Sure-why not? Spontaneity is wonderful. Coming home from work, dragging your partner into the bedroom, and ripping all of your clothes off can be wonderful. Deciding in the middle of a movie that you need to be home, now, is deliciously erotic. But planning a night of making love and letting your partner in on the plan can be just as arousing.
How? Let's begin this, our first Saturday night together, with the idea that tonight's the night. Begin at the very start of the day. When you wake up Saturday morning, whisper in your partner's ear that you have something sexually exciting planned for that evening. "Not now," you say, jumping out of bed, "but later. Think about it." Do you have to have something really different planned? Not necessarily. The difference will be the anticipation and the arousal that your comment stimulates.
Put a ribbon or rubber band around his wrist, just below his wristwatch, so that every time he checks the time, he's reminded that something good is in store. Make a cassette with some erotic music, something that's meaningful to you both, and slip it into his car stereo for him to listen to as he does his errands. It can be anything from Michael Bolton to Beethoven, so long as it sends a message. If you're really creative, include a few well-chosen words with the music that hint at the evening's activities. A single word or an entire erotic scenario? That's up to you.
If you lay out his clothes in the morning, select something he knows you find arousing, like a particularly tight T-shirt or a pair of black briefs. As he's dressing, slip a piece of satin or canvas or a small piece of fur into the crotch of his shorts so that he feels it all day and thinks of you.
Do you make his lunch? Put something suggestive in for a snack, with a note saying, "I hear that olives make you passionate. Let's hope that's true, because I have designs on your body tonight."
Call her up during the day and whisper a few naughty words about the evening to come. That can be particularly delicious if she's in a roomful of people and can't react. Create a pet name that you only use in the dark. Ed calls me a "sexy bitch," abbreviated SB, and when I hear that, I know he's having wonderfully erotic thoughts. If you also explain to the kids that SB stands for "silly beast," only the two of you will know its sexual connotation. Call her that all day.
Pull a particularly sexy piece of underwear from her drawer and ask her to wear it for you beneath her clothing so that all day she'll think of you. Ask her to shorten her bra straps so they bind a bit at the shoulder.
For Both of You
If you can, plan to have dinner out that evening. Draw out the suspense with a long meal, with lots of suggestive gazes, comments, and gestures. Remember, we're trying to make the excitement last as long as possible.
If you're really daring, take a slender ribbon and run it through one of the leg holes of a pair of briefs or panties (it works equally well with either), then through the waist opening. Tie the ribbon tightly; then do the same at the other side of the undies. Now the crotch of the pants will be really binding and uncomfortable in an erotic way. Then ask your partner to wear them so he or she will think about you all day. That constant reminder will make your lover so hungry that by the time the day comes to an end, it will be all you can do to postpone the inevitable until bedtime.
But who wants to postpone it anyway? Remember spontaneity?
(c) 2000 by Joan Elizabeth Lloyd"
Posted April 18, 2000
Just when things are getting a little stale after years of happiness, this book has given my marriage a needed boost. Neglecting your relationship is the same as abusing it.
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