Read an Excerpt
What a Man Really Craves …
(Hint: They may not be what you think.)
I like being a man.
It takes a woman an hour or two to get her nails done at the salon. But I can do my nails at a red light in 10 seconds or less with my front teeth. I even make it a game to see how many times I can hit my speedometer with my fingernails.
(If you're saying, "Eww, gross," you're definitely a woman. If you were a man, you'd be saying, "All right, score! I've got a whole pile on my dashboard.")
I could wear the same pair of Bermuda shorts day in, day out. It would never dawn on me to change them, unless I saw another pair waiting for me on my bedroom chair . . . or unless my wife, Sande, handed a new pair to me, told me to put them on, and whisked the old pair off to the washer.
I think I'm dressed up and ready for anything when my shirt has only one spot on it, and I'm in my standard T-shirt, shorts, tennis shoes, and baseball cap. It's how I dress 95 percent of the time.
The other day, as I was taking my wife a cup of coffee in bed, as I do every morning, my daughter Krissy showed up with my two grandkids, Conner and Adeline. I was so excited to see them that I sloshed a few drops of coffee on the kitchen floor. So what did I do? I took my sneaker and rubbed the drops around on the floor a bit, so they would dry faster.
"Daaad," Krissy said, rolling her eyes. "That is so male."
And that's exactly what I am. A male.
I don't like to share my food with anybody. But I get first right of refusal on anything on Sande's plate.
I am as color-blind as anyone can get.
I never ask for directions.
I get antsy when you launch into a really long story. I can't help thinking, What's the point?
Sometimes I act like a four-year-old who has to have everything now . . . including all of your attention. Other times I am my wife's hero.
When I say things, I mean them. I like to say what needs to be said plainly. But when I'm quiet, I'm hoping you get the drift that I'm not crazy about what you're saying, but I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm a tough guy . . . but I'm tender underneath, especially where my family is concerned. (Just ask Krissy sometime how many times I cried when I found out she was engaged, when she tried on her wedding dress for the first time, when she walked down the aisle, when she told me she was pregnant with grandbabies one and two, and when I saw her holding those babies for the first time.)
Truth is, I'm no big puzzle. And neither is any man. We men and Simple Simon have a lot in common. The path to our heart is well marked, but it's also narrow, for there are few that we trust with it. Because for a guy, sharing your heart can be awfully risky.
If you have picked up this book, good for you. You care about the men in your life, and you want to improve your relationships with them. Whether you are married, living together, dating, engaged, looking for that special someone, or you simply want to understand a son, brother, or father better, 7 Things He'd Never Tell You will reveal the issues that are closest to a man's heart.
What makes a man tick.
What ticks him off.
And how you can have the most satisfying relationship with him possible.
When you date that special guy, you're always putting your best foot forward. Then you hook him, or he hooks you, and you decide you're both "keepers." You want to be in this relationship for a lifetime. You can't wait to never have to say good night and drive off to separate locations ever again. You envision romantic evenings together, wrapped in each other's arms, in front of the fireplace of your very own home.
Once the wedding is over, you concentrate on living life together. Settling into your careers, deciding who will do what around the house, who will keep track of the car's oil changes, pay the bills, etc. Somewhere in the midst of all this finagling is when you, a woman and a natural problem solver, get your first notion: I don't remember that bugging me before. Did he always do that? How can I stop him from doing that?
All of a sudden, there is a chasm between your expectations and the reality of living with your man. Does he expect me to be his maid? you wonder when you find the heap of dirty laundry under his side of the bed.
What's more important to him—hanging out with the guys or spending time with me? And if he likes "guy time," why does he act all hurt when I go out with a girlfriend? I thought we talked about our budget. I've been sticking to it. And then he went and bought that plasma TV. We can't afford that. What was he thinking? If he's an engineer, how come he never gets around to fixing our leaky faucet?
The list can grow. If you're not aware of the true needs of a man— what he dreams about, thinks about, and what motivates all he does— disillusionment can set in. Misunderstanding can grow to anger and bitterness. You can begin thinking, This sure isn't what I signed up for.
Studies reveal that about 50 percent of those who marry today will end up divorced. And of the other 50 percent who stay together, only half of those are satisfied with their relationship.1 No wonder the average marriage lasts only seven years.
So let me ask you: How satisfied are you right now with your relationship?
If you had a magic wand and could change one thing—little or big—about your man, what would it be?