TOP TEN GOLFER/CADDIE EXCHANGES
GOLFER: I think I’m going to drown myself in the lake.
CADDIE: Do you think you can keep your head down that long?
GOLFER: I’d move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course.
CADDIE: Try heaven; you’ve already moved most of the earth.
GOLFER: Do you think my game is improving?
CADDIE: Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now.
GOLFER: Do you think I can get there with a five-iron?
GOLFER: You’ve got to be the worst caddie in the world.
CADDIE: I don’t think so, sir. That would be too much of a coincidence.
GOLFER: Please stop checking your watch all the time. It’s too much of a distraction.
CADDIE: It’s not a watch. It’s a compass.
GOLFER: How do you like my game?
CADDIE: Very good, sir, but personally, I prefer golf.
GOLFER: Do you think it’s a sin to play on Sunday?
CADDIE: The way you play, sir, it’s a sin on any day.
GOLFER: This is the worst course I’ve ever played on.
CADDIE: This isn’t the golf course. We left that an hour ago.
And the # 1 best golfer/caddie exchange:
GOLFER: That can’t be my ball. It’s too old.
CADDIE: It’s been a long time since we teed off, sir.