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A Little Bit Married: How to Know When It's Time to Walk Down the Aisle or Out the Door [NOOK Book]

Overview

Quiz: Are You “A Little Bit Married”?
We’ve been dating for more than a year.
I talk on the phone with his parents.
We go on vacations with each other’s families.
We’re planning to live together (or ...
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A Little Bit Married: How to Know When It's Time to Walk Down the Aisle or Out the Door

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Overview

Quiz: Are You “A Little Bit Married”?
We’ve been dating for more than a year.
I talk on the phone with his parents.
We go on vacations with each other’s families.
We’re planning to live together (or already do).
I often wonder, “Where is this going?”

Do I just wait around? How can I be sure this person is really “The One”? If this sounds familiar, you are not alone. It’s the dawning of an age when we’re not in any hurry to reach the milestones—house, spouse, and kids—that once marked adulthood, although we’d like to get there . . . soon.

In this practical, no-holds-barred guide, Hannah Seligson delivers an eye-opening look at why serial long-term relationships have become the new romantic rite of passage. From making life-changing sacrifices for your partner to dealing with doubts, Seligson explains how to make the most of this ambiguous state, including:
• What are the signs s/he’s ready for long-term commitment?
• How do you make decisions about careers, cohabitation, and religion when there isn’t a ring?
• What’s the best way to mention the “M” word to a commitment-phobe?
• How long should you stay A Little Bit Married before tying the knot . . . or moving on?

Combining expert advice with compelling anecdotes, A Little Bit Married will provide you with the roadmap you need to survive the life stage post–“Let’s Do It!” and pre–“I Do.”
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Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly
Starred Review.

Seligson's tidy handbook takes a clarifying look at the confusing and often frustrating world of long-term relationships, those open-ended multi-year affairs that could be described as "a little bit" like marriage. Putting extensive research into practical, everyday language, Seligson starts by defining the phenomenon with both broad social context and acute symptoms ("Does he value bromance more than romance?"), developing snappy common-sense lessons ("Thou shalt not move in together to save money"). Practical advice for making decisions and carrying through follows; an especially honest and illuminating chapter on "The Female Proposal" focuses on the reasons for wanting to get married, asking readers to "propose to yourself" first. Seligson's breezy style nearly obscures her intense original research, including 120 interviews with relationship vets and input from 30 professionals (an appendix contains brief profiles of all 150). Seligson even includes research into the market for her book: according to the U.S. Census Bureau, one out of 10 unmarried couples live together-that's 10.4 million people, all of whom (and not just women) could benefit from this clear-headed approach to making the big decision: marry or move on.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From the Publisher
Bookviews.com, January 2010
“The author takes a look at a major trend in dating these days, the long-term unmarried relationship. She provides the context for why young people are delaying marriage…This is a kind of modern day marriage advice manual, but without interpreting marriage in purely legal terms and it is full of very good advice.”

Tucson Citizen, 1/8/10
“Provides a roadmap to successfully navigating the long-term relationship…[Seligson’s] book includes the Cohabitation Commandments that should be memorized by anyone even thinking of entering ‘a little bit married’ arrangement.”

Feministing.com, 1/11/2010
“[A] research-packed, story-rich, sociological-self-help hybrid…Seligson coins a long overdue term for something so many of us have experienced.”

InfoDad.com, 1/14/2010
“[Seligson’s] advice is straightforward and unexceptionable…And some of her post-feminist logic is compelling…The most useful element of Seligson’s book is her discussion of how to decide whether the person you are living with is ‘the One.’…Seligson’s chapter on how to break up is also useful…[A Little Bit Married] provides solidarity and more than a little bit of good advice.”

Christine Whelan, author of Why Smart Men Marry Smart Women on Huffington Post, 1/26/10
“A well-researched and cleverly written pop-sociology self-help book.”

SheWrites.com, 1/26/10
“Uncovers and spotlights a major trend in dating today: the long-term unmarried relationship…Sheds light on a phenomenon that everyone does, knows someone who does, or is related to someone who does, but no one has named. Blending advice with the context of why young people are delaying marriage, Hannah creates a hybrid with A Little Bit Married, mixing cultural commentary with the language of the traditional how-to.”

Publishers Weekly, starred review, 2/1/10
“Seligson’s tidy handbook takes a clarifying look at the confusing and often frustrating world of long-term relationships…Putting extensive research into practical, everyday language, Seligson starts by defining the phenomenon with both broad social context and acute symptoms, developing snappy common-sense lessons. Practical advice for making decisions and carrying through follows.”

CampusProgress.org, 2/13/10
“Seligson seeks to explore the gray area between dating and marriage…The book is prescriptive for an era in which ‘you now get your marriage training wheels with your first mini-marriage.’”

TheFasterTimes.com, 2/16/10
“What distinguishes ALBM from other books in this genre is Seligson’s gently prodding tone. Her advice is never too specific; instead she asks her readers valuable, self-reflective questions.”

San Francisco Book Review and Sacramento Book Review, March 2010
“[A] fascinating new book…Written primarily for a female audience, but with an open and engaging style that appeals to men as well, A Little Bit Married helps readers answer these hard questions and understand their own complicated relationships. Everyone, from disapproving parents to free spirits, should read this book.”

London Free Press, 3/8/10
“Dissects the murky stage of living together without marriage.” MidwestBook Review, February 2010
“A resource [that] those looking for that lifetime commitment should look into.” Kansas CityStar, 7/7/10“Read this book if you've ever been in a serious dating relationship…You can tell it’s written by someone in their 20s because of how well it captures the feeling of what it’s like to be a in a serious relationship at that age…If you’re a parent wondering why your kid is getting so serious with somebody, this might offer you an explanation. And if you’re a woman who isn’t sure how to talk the future with your partner, you could learn ways to broach the topic.” BookIdeas.com, July 2010“Anyone who finds themselves in a relationship at such a crossroads can learn some lessons from this book. If one has a friend in such straights, this might be a good gift book for that person.”

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780738214511
  • Publisher: Da Capo Press
  • Publication date: 12/29/2009
  • Sold by: Barnes & Noble
  • Format: eBook
  • Pages: 352
  • Sales rank: 795,235
  • File size: 630 KB

Meet the Author

Hannah Seligson is a journalist and author of New Girl on the Job, featured in USA Today, Glamour, and the New York Times. A graduate of Brown University, she lives in New York.
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Table of Contents

Introduction 1

1 First Comes Love, Then Comes A Little Bit Married: Why the Long-Relationship Has Become the New Romantic Rite of Passage 9

2 Dating Peter Pan: You're Ready to Register at Pottery Barn and He's Playing Grand Theft Auto 31

3 Career Compromises and Christmas Trees: Should You Be Acting Married When You Aren't? 51

4 Playing House: The Cohabitation Commandments 71

5 Are We There Yet?: The Female Proposal 99

6 I Do. Or Do I?: Handling Doubts 123

7 Walking Out the Door: How to Go from A Little Bit Married to Very Broken Up 153

8 Walking Down the Aisle: Lessons from Matrimony 175

Meet The Interviewed 193

Acknowledgments 205

Notes 207

Index 217

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