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A Princess of Fae [NOOK Book]

Overview

A young girl who curses like a sailor, a drunken hero, an incompetent wizard, a thief on the lam, a cowardly ogre, and a boyish goblin unite to banish the narrator and author of the tale so they can do what they damn well please. Or at least what pleases the girl. She’s a bossy little bitch with a secret. Here's a sample:
- - -
Appalled by the idiocy, she looked up in disgust at the strip of metal which gave the Iron Bar Tavern its name. It was...

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A Princess of Fae

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Overview

A young girl who curses like a sailor, a drunken hero, an incompetent wizard, a thief on the lam, a cowardly ogre, and a boyish goblin unite to banish the narrator and author of the tale so they can do what they damn well please. Or at least what pleases the girl. She’s a bossy little bitch with a secret. Here's a sample:
- - -
Appalled by the idiocy, she looked up in disgust at the strip of metal which gave the Iron Bar Tavern its name. It was attached above the door. Demonfolk could not step over cold iron but they had no trouble walking under it. She considered leaving but she’d gone to a lot of trouble to find this forsaken place, and her last informant had sworn that the man she sought spent much time here. Sighing, she pushed the door open and was assaulted by stench.
The boisterous crowd failed to notice her at first, but when she headed for the bar, a burly drunk with a particularly ugly face saw her.
“Hey, look! A girlie!” he shouted and suddenly every eye turned to her.
Her long loose robe and hood hid her figure and most of her face, but her petite size implied she was an underage girl rather than an adult woman. Not that it mattered to brutes such as the denizens of this tavern. The drunk stuck out a leg to block her passage.
She stopped and stared at him. Only the high level of alcohol in his blood kept it from freezing solid in the glare of her icy blue eyes. The crowd hushed as they watched. Without a word, she reached and picked up the heavy pewter mug the man was using. She extended her arm and held the mug beside the man’s ear then stood on one foot and pirouetted. At the end of its rotation, the mug hit the drunk square in the face. His nose disappeared, partly splattered sideways and partly pushed back into the space where a normal man’s brain would be. His eyes rolled back in his head and he fell to the floor. Three little yellow birds appeared and flew circles around his head, their twittering clearly audible.
When she walked to the bar, a strand of hair escaped from her hood. Shiny, golden, and with the artistically perfect amount of curl, it hung down to her waist.
“I’m looking for the famous warrior-hero Aretino Searle,” she told the bartender.
He pointed to an empty table and explained, “Not at the table, dearie. Under it.”
“Oh shit,” she muttered when she saw her man in a drunken stupor. “This can’t possibly be right.”

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Product Details

  • BN ID: 2940045108157
  • Publisher: Bob Craton
  • Publication date: 10/1/2012
  • Sold by: Smashwords
  • Format: eBook
  • Sales rank: 943,962
  • File size: 2 MB

Meet the Author

Fantasy & Sci-Fi Fans:

I actually would rather have people enjoy my stories than make money. That is why I write. Therefore, you can get "The High Duties of Pacia," "A Princess of Fae," and "Jesika's Angel" all for 'reader sets the price.' Naturally, I would love reviews but you have no obligation to write one if you don't want to.

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When he was a child, Bob Craton’s teachers often remarked (not always favorably) about his day-dreaming. He spent much of his time lost in his own imagination, often creating elaborate elementary school tall-tales, and the habit never went away as he grew up. Coming of age in the 1960s filled his head with dreams of saving the world and having a career in academia. Then the real world closed in. With a family to support, he took a job at the corporate grindstone, just temporarily until he could get back to grad school and earn the PhD he desired. Somehow ‘temporarily’ turned into thirty-three years of stress and boredom but he kept entertaining himself by creating stories inside his head. Interestingly (well, he hopes it’s interesting anyway), his best ideas came to him while he was stuck in rush-hour traffic during his daily commute.

At age fifty-seven, he retired early (a euphemism for ‘got laid off) and had time to put his tales on ‘paper’ (an ancient product now replaced by digital electronics). The ideas in his head were all visual, like scenes from a movie, and as he began writing, he learned to translate visual into verbal and improve his skills. Or at least, that’s what he says. He admits that sometimes minor characters – or some who weren’t included in the original plan at all – demand attention. Frequently, he agrees with them and expands their roles. Many people believe he is bonkers for believing that fictional characters talk to him, but he calls it creativity and remains unrepentant.

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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4.5
( 3 )
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Sort by: Showing all of 3 Customer Reviews
  • Posted February 2, 2014

    more from this reviewer

    A Princess of Fae by Bob Craton This is a unique fun story.

    A Princess of Fae by Bob Craton




    This is a unique fun story. When the narrator and the author started bickering at each other and arguing with the characters I had to laugh. Of course then the editor had to get his two cents in.. The characters don't mind telling any of them to get off their backs and let them get on with their scripts. Until they reached the point where they threw the scripts out and proceeded the way they thought best.




    Each of these off-beat characters are well developed and had their own endearing qualities. Well except for the Princess, there wasn't much about her that was endearing but she was entertaining. My two favorites were George, he was a bit of a nerd (who doesn't love nerds?) and Loudt, the kind-hearted ogre. They had a true friendship that will last forever and I enjoyed their dialogue. I also think Mr. Craton did a great job handling the other character's banter, they all played off each other well.




    The plot was creative and had a good pace. There was action, adventure, and drama galore as this small band of misfits traveled the countryside and mountain terrain. My only complaint is there was not a climatic ending, perhaps if Queen Mab and the Princess had matched wits at the end I would have felt more satisfied. Coming back home is never as easy as this homecoming was. Someone should have had to eat crow, don't you think? Then perhaps the others could have headed back home feeling like the Princess got her just desserts. Or am I just being mean and showing my true colors?




    Bob Craton makes many references to other epic fantasies, fairy tales, pop-culture, and famous works of literature throughout the story. There were few stones left unturned and I found it very entertaining. I have read very few satirical parodies and I found this one a nice change of pace.




    FYI: The author warns at the beginning that “this text contains Naughty Words not suitable for children, puppies, and other gentle beings.”  While there was a lot of swearing there were no F-bombs dropped at all.




    Format/Typo Issues: I only found a small number of proofing errors. Most were minor, except near the end Loudt was mistakenly called George.




    **Originally written for "Books and Pals" book blog. May have received a free review copy.** January 27, 2014

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted January 6, 2014

    more from this reviewer

    OMGosh, I love this book! I read it twice already and put my oth

    OMGosh, I love this book! I read it twice already and put my other unread books on the back burner because it was so good! Living in this fantasy world the author provided us was such a wonderful journey. You are going to love this book. I don’t want to provide any spoilers in any of my reviews, so I try to just let you know how great the book is. Its so hard to express how amazing this book is. Just trust me, if you like fantasy and/or paranormal you are going to fall in love with this book!!!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 5, 2014

    No text was provided for this review.

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