A Treasure of the Heart: A Journey of Satsang, Awakening, and Evolution

by Kalia Chan

Overview

A young American man meets Tsogyal, a Tibetan woman, who shares with him teachings on awakening, evolution and liberation. The creedless truth that she shares comes from her own awakened insight as well as her knowledge of many spiritual traditions, including Taoism, Buddhism and Christianity.

An adventure of the body, mind and spirit follows as Mark, the young American, proceeds through his life, experiencing many ups and downs. His journey borders on the magical as he proceeds to embody the teachings, and more importantly, the awakening.

Throughout it all, Tsogyal helps to ground him in the here and now with an uncanny and miraculous capacity. Her skill, compassion and wisdom never fail to wake Mark up. As Marks process deepens and his own capacity for love and wisdom increases, he discovers something in Tsogyal. That discovery, at first a source of suffering, later becomes the ground of the juiciness of awakening.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781504353090
Publisher:	Balboa Press
Publication date:	07/13/2016
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
Pages:	266
File size:	354 KB

About the Author

In 2003, after sitting with Adyashanti for a couple of years, Kalia experienced a “recognition”. He continued to sit with Adyashanti for another five years. In 2009, the skillful means of Vajrayana awoke an ongoing process of energy and penetrating awareness. A few years ago, another “recognition”, this one brilliant luminosity, occurred in the presence of Ammachi, the “hugging saint.” Kalia currently lives near Sebastopol, California with his cat, Lion.

Read an Excerpt

A Treasure of the Heart

A Journey of Satsang, Awakening, and Evolution

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By Kalia Chan

Balboa Press

Copyright © 2016 Kalia Chan
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-5043-5308-3

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CHAPTER 1

Meeting

The night he met her was clear in his mind's eye. He was camped deep in the wilderness, high up in the Sierra Nevada Mountains. The vast sky was sprinkled with millions of stars. The tops of giant pine trees cast their silhouettes against this infinite and beautiful stage. On the ground, the cold darkness had been seeping into his bones, setting Mark's teeth chattering despite the fact that he had on many warm layers of clothing.

Polypropylene long johns fit snugly against his skin. On top of that, a couple of thick fleeces kept much of his body heat in. These were covered with a high-quality, waterproof windbreaker that, at the moment, kept out the chill of a breeze that was picking up through the trees.

Although he was shivering, Mark set about making a campfire. Earlier, while it was still light, he had collected a few good-sized logs from some dead trees that had fallen long ago. Some of the trunks were rotting, which allowed him to break loose small pieces of dried bark and inner tree. This served as the kindling, which would start the larger pieces of wood burning.

When the fire was blazing and Mark could feel the much sought-after warmth, he sat down on a large log that lay on the earth near the fire. A sense of satisfaction suffused his body. Sipping a cup of hot chocolate, Mark gazed up into the vast and artistic panorama of a star-filled night sky.

Mark's thin yet muscular build was perfect for backpacking. What he loved most about hiking were the beautiful landscapes that revealed their secrets only when he had completely left all civilization behind. He had medium-length, dark brown hair that curled around his ears and framed his face and strong jawline in loose and wavy spirals. Usually clean-shaven, he now sported some scruff that added maturity to his twenty-five years.

Up until recently, Mark had been wrestling with intense emotions. Depression would bring him into a gnawing void of despondency for weeks. Anxiety would keep Mark moving at a frantic pace with a never-ending list of "to-dos." Each task wound him tighter and tighter. He was filled with panic and desperation at the thought of everything falling apart if he didn't finish each task.

After months of this, he would simply crash into depression — a black hole that he could not even begin to climb out of for weeks. This pattern had begun to emerge in his late teens and had been going on now for several years. However, in the past six months, everything had changed. There wasn't a specific event he could point to that caused a change. It was a gradual change that didn't draw much attention, yet he was vividly aware of it.

Lately Mark had been feeling intense in a way he had never experienced before. The depression and anxiety seemed to have diminished or even disappeared. He was no longer desperately trying to accomplish everything on his "to do" list. Projects fell apart before he even started them.

Mark had thought that maybe this was some new kind of depression, only less intense and longer in duration. However, he had ruled that out, as he did not feel a sense of despair or lack of motivation. He simply felt as if he were focused on something more important, though he did not know what that was. For the first time, Mark had no idea what he wanted; he had no idea what would make him happy.

Yet the intensity was there-reaching, yearning, and wanting something. As Mark warmed himself by the fire and stared at the stars, a revelation hit him so hard that his jaw dropped: This was not about wanting something. This was a deep need for something. It felt like this need was as strong as his need to breath. Mark only wished he had an idea of what it was he needed.

It was a moment frozen in eternal reflection when she stepped into his campfire light. Mark very nearly spilled his hot chocolate as his body reacted in surprise. His mouth worked, opening and closing, as he tried to make sense of her sudden appearance. She stood there, completely still, waiting for his initial shock to dissipate. Gradually, Mark became aware of something other than shock and surprise.

He was intrigued with her appearance, which suggested she was of Asian ethnicity. She had on a thin, cotton tunic and cotton pants that were colorful and filled with patterns that reminded him of native tribal designs. They looked to be high quality yet hand woven.

Her gaze held an intensity not born of effort but of a deep presence. She was beautiful and had long, dark hair that played with silky overtones against her face. She looked to be in her thirties, but her eyes conveyed a maturity far beyond that. Her face revealed a deep vulnerability, and yet a clear courage shown through.

Suddenly, it registered in Mark's thoughts that she was not dressed warmly at all. How was this possible? He had on many warm layers and was next to the campfire. Further, why was this woman all the way out here in the mountains? Was she camped nearby? Why was she up in the middle of the night? And why was she at his campfire?

Mark was suddenly riveted by her eyes; his questions evaporated, and his mind became silent. She spoke in a clear and melodious voice.

"What do you want?"

Mark found himself going inward and becoming aware of the intense need that he had been feeling. It was so intense, yet he could only answer honestly.

"I don't know."

The woman sat down on a log across the campfire from Mark. All she did was gaze at him, and he could do nothing but look back. Minutes passed. Her eyes appeared to grow into dark, luminous pools of vastness. Sensing himself being pulled into that vastness, something in him resisted at first. When he finally let go, infinity took him.

Eons passed. Maybe it was only a moment. As Mark came back to his body, he was aware that he had been completely at peace. Even now, he could feel that a deep peace permeated his body and mind.

The embers of the fire were giving off a slight glow, telling him that hours had passed. Even though it was a cold night, Mark no longer felt it. He felt warm, as if the flames were still blazing.

The woman sitting on the other side of the glowing embers spoke.

"I will be back tomorrow night."

Mark blinked, and she was gone. He looked around in astonishment, but there was no trace of the woman who had sat with him.

CHAPTER 2

Why Awaken?

The following day, Mark experienced a sense of vitality and joy that had eluded him for years. He was amazed at the sense of well-being that washed through him. It was as if an inner spring, bubbling with happiness and youthfulness, had been discovered right in the center of his heart.

That day, Mark explored a trail that wound up a mountainside. It twisted among trees and huge granite boulders and skirted along sheer cliffs. He had been camped in a valley, deep in the remote wilderness for a week. Mark could feel the stress of his daily life falling off and fading away.

Mark felt himself being permeated by the vast spirit and deep peace of this beautiful and wild land. As he climbed up the mountainside at one end of the valley, he felt an untamed elation deep inside. Nature was surely healing his heart — not to mention what had happened with the woman the previous night.

Something in his mind wanted a thousand answers to just as many questions. Whatever had happened with her had been beyond anything he could have imagined. Mark couldn't begin to understand it, but sensed that something profound had happened. He couldn't verbalize it, but felt that a shift had occurred. It had something to do with moving from a deep sense of deficiency to a wonderful feeling of completeness.

That night, he waited with anticipation for the woman to show up again. He wanted to ask her how this shift had happened. He wanted to understand. Sitting by his campfire, he began to fear that she wouldn't appear again. After all, she could be anywhere in these mountains now. What did she owe him? Looking down at the ground, he began to notice the sense of wholeness and the feeling of joy disappearing. The core feeling of deep need returned.

"Just have the courage to feel the pain. This too is okay."

Mark looked up, startled. Once again, the woman sat across the campfire from him. Questions assailed his mind. Who is she? How did she know what he was thinking? What happened today and why?

She smiled. "You may call me Tsogyal, which means 'ocean' in Tibetan. This ocean is vast, deep, and awake."

As if in response, Mark's mind opened up into a wonderful spaciousness. All of his questions disappeared again.

"I thought I had so much to ask you," he began. He couldn't find any more words. Mark felt emptied.

With a merry little laugh, Tsogyal spoke. "This is the spaciousness in which it all can be felt — the good, the bad, and the ugly. When you are not identified with any of it, you are free!"'

Mark's thoughts spun with what she had just said. "What do you mean, 'identified'? And why did my head just go empty?"

"Today, you experienced peak moments when the grass was greener and everything around you felt more alive. You felt more at peace, and your mind stopped its chattering. Merged into the moment, you allowed the winds to caress your face and took notice as the fields of grass shimmered under the sun. You experienced a delightful absence of that sense of me. Without the separation of the me, you discover there is only this moment. It is right now in this very moment where you discover peace."

Mark felt confused. As if to explain, Tsogyal took in a slow, deep breath. Her eyes, ever present with him, were twinkling with a smile.

"Notice how your body feels right now. Let go of everything that's happened to you in the past. Let go of everything that might happen in the future. Let your mind rest as this present moment and then see how it all feels. There might be feelings and tensions. Just face them and let them be touched with awareness. Eventually, they let go."

Mark took in a slow, deep breath. He noticed that he could actually see his thoughts and feelings as though he was a witness. He touched some with his attention and saw they were points of tension within an otherwise clear and peaceful presence.

Tsogyal had paused to allow him spaciousness for insight. "Awakening into this now-ness and stabilizing this awakening is an evolution. This evolution is in fact a kind of death. It is a whittling away of the excess. It is a return to innocence and simplicity. As addictive tendencies and the stressful revolutions of thought slow down and/or stop, you will notice the peace more and more."

As Tsogyal finished speaking, Mark noticed that peace in her eyes. He felt that he had just discovered a possible resolution to the intense need in his heart. The peace and the vast love he sensed in her eyes were so deeply satisfying that he felt he would never need anything else. Letting her words soak in, he sat quietly with a sense of openness.

"I will see you again tomorrow." The next moment, she was gone.

CHAPTER 3

What Is Awakening?

Mark awoke to the sounds of songbirds and the bright rays of a morning sun shining through his tent. He scrambled out of his sleeping bag and pulled on jeans and a fleece jacket. Unzipping the door to his small, one-man tent, Mark stepped outside. It was a cool, crisp and altogether beautiful morning.

The small clearing he was camped in was surrounded on three sides by pine trees. They were tall and magnificent, displaying their greenery through all four seasons. The floor of the clearing was carpeted with a plush layer of dried pine needles. Overhead, the sky was a deep and rich blue color, without a cloud in sight. It was a perfect morning.

With enthusiasm, Mark headed for the fourth side of the clearing, which opened up into a large, grassy meadow. The grass was thick and green yet short enough to walk through comfortably. Mark made his way to one of the massive granite boulders that dotted the field. Partially buried and yet exposed to the elements, these grayish white boulders carried an ageless grace that lent to the valley an indescribable wisdom and beauty. Mark loved these mountains fiercely, and these rocks reminded him of this.

He climbed to the top of the boulder, using his hands on the steep part of the slope just before the flat and spacious summit. A little ways off, a small river wound its way through the meadow and on to the lower end of the valley. Granite rocks also broke the surface of the shimmering waters, adding to the river's gallant and mesmerizing advance through the meadow. Mark felt himself pulled to this winding waterway. As he came close to a dead tree, still standing, he saw a hawk perched at the top. It had seen him long before, and it launched itself into the air with a raucous call. With a few strong wing beats, it soared beyond the meadow and into the thick forest.

Coming to the river, Mark squatted next to its flowing edge. Cupping his hands together, he dipped them into the river water and abruptly brought them to his face. The shock of the cold glacier water made him gasp for a moment. Rocking back on his heels, Mark took a deep breath. That felt good! He was awake now, he thought with a laugh. Mark felt his enthusiasm grow. He couldn't wait to see Tsogyal again. His anticipation was building to see what she would say next.

That evening, she expounded further on what an awakening is. "The ego, or identified mind, is in separation to what is. Its very nature is fear and distress and is expressed through grasping and aversion. Even anticipation can be a sign of grasping." She paused to let that sink in.

Mark was frowning in thought. "But isn't that normal?"

"You could say that the condition of suffering has become a norm. But just because it is a norm does not mean you have to abide by it."

That resonated with Mark's inner rebel. "Of course not. Well, can you explain to me what the ego is?"

"The ego is an identification with self. Beliefs and a sense of personal control are also compatible with this self. Our beliefs and sense of control can temporarily hold the fear and distress at bay. However, the ego does not actually exist. The 'doer' or the sense of 'I' is a complete fabrication of thought. As this fabrication dissolves, fear will arise. Just allow it. Any 'doing' reinforces the consciousness of separation. From this understanding, the meditation of non-meditation arises. I call this the path of presence.

"On the other hand, the body and especially the nervous system are formed around this illusory ego. To live moment to moment in non-separation requires a transformation within the brain and entire nervous system. If the energy of the body, especially the sexual energy, can be brought above the top of the head, this can open the body and consciousness to source awareness, which then integrates into these systems. Increased awareness naturally draws energy to complete a transformation. The subtle body and physical body can then reflect this purified consciousness. From this understanding, meditations of bliss and energy arise. I call this the path of energy.

"An awakening into both presence and energy is needed for a complete embodiment. Awakening within this body dissolves the duality between absolute and relative, emptiness and form, me and you ... and so on.

"What I offer to you, should you choose to accept it, is freedom from distress and duality. A deeper vulnerability will result, and with deeper vulnerability comes a greater capacity for love."

Mark nodded. "I think I get what you're saying. Can you tell me how any of this will help me?"

Tsogyal brushed back some hair from her eyes. "Simply put, I offer an exploration into your present experience for a profound discovery of peace, fulfillment, and love. This is made possible through a deeper presence with yourself and a greater mindfulness. Looking deeply at your mind, you discover what is unconditional and free. Looking deeply at what distresses you, a chance for you to experience that which is not distressed is present. The opportunity is to know this as that which is ever-present."

Mark had never heard anything like this before. But after some reflection, he acknowledged that there was a clarity to her words and something that seemed to make sense.

"Where do these teachings come from? I've explored various spiritual paths. Christian ... Buddhist ... Hindu ... But I have never seen or heard of anything like what you are talking about."

"I honor Christianity, Buddhism, and Hinduism as well as other traditions, for they hold viable and useful tools for awakening. At the same time, I offer a purity of awakening that is without creed or religion. I can explore with you what often accompanies a deep surrender. Yet the spontaneity of the actual flow of life must be honored.

"Ultimately, all this points to that which is deeply spacious and full of love. You can discover that you are always in meditation. When the 'I' collapses and the identifications slow and/or stop, there is no longer a suppression of emotional pain. It is all felt immediately as it arises, and then it is gone. You can no longer project an unconscious distress onto others. It no longer hangs out as depression or anxiety. You are literally cleared out and emptied. You are at peace."

(Continues...)

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Excerpted from A Treasure of the Heart by Kalia Chan. Copyright © 2016 Kalia Chan. Excerpted by permission of Balboa Press.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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Table of Contents

Contents

The Seeker,
Prologue, xiii,
1. Meeting, 1,
2. Why Awaken?, 5,
3. What Is Awakening?, 8,
4. Commit to Truth, 13,
5. Seek First the Kingdom of God, 17,
6. The Four Noble Truths, 22,
Surrender,
7. Shadow, 29,
8. Surrendering to God, 33,
9. It's Not Personal; You Are Not Your Story, 39,
10. Let Life Figure It Out, 42,
11. Rest Instead of Wrestling, 46,
12. Effortless Effort, 51,
13. Allowing, Not Trying, 55,
14. Surrendering to Life, 59,
15. Accepting Suffering, 65,
16. Nothing Can Make You Happy, 69,
17. Grasping and Aversion, 71,
18. The Human Condition, 77,
Loving Kindness,
19. Christ Consciousness, 83,
20. Loving Kindness, 87,
21. Intentions, 91,
22. Staying Open and Present with Life, 94,
Devotion and Discipline,
23. Path of the Mystic, 99,
24. The Five Elements of Meditation, 102,
25. Earth: Simplicity, 105,
26. Water: Feeling, 107,
27. Fire: Devotion, 111,
28. Wind: Breathing, 114,
29. Void: Being, 116,
30. Triple Refuge, 119,
31. The Teacher, 122,
32. Ten Stages of the Bodhisattva, 125,
33. Love and Fear, 130,
34. Prayer, 133,
35. Devotion to a Form of God, 138,
36. Protecting the Three Treasures, 141,
37. Breath Work, 146,
38. Taoist Stages of Awakening, 151,
39. The Path of Jnana, 156,
40. Raja Yoga, 159,
41. Bhakti — A Love Affair with the Divine, 164,
The Source,
42. Silence of Being, 169,
43. The Source, 172,
44. Just Stop, 174,
45. The Freedom of Non-Identification, 180,
46. Not Knowing of Natural Being, 183,
47. Pure Love, 186,
Consciousness,
48. Meditation, 191,
49. Desire, 192,
50. Working with the Bliss, 196,
51. Journey of the Bliss, 200,
52. The Descent of Pure Consciousness, 205,
53. Surrendering to Death, 209,
54. The Void, 211,
55. I Am, 213,
56. I Am Too, 217,
57. The Fire of Awakening, 221,
58. The Evolution of Consciousness, 224,
Awakening into Presence,
59. Guru Rinpoche, 231,
60. The Awakeness of What Is, 236,
61. The Kingdom of God through Enlightenment, 239,
62. Integration, 243,
Gratitude, 251,