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A User's Guide for Fifty Shades of Grey: Hot Tips for Couples to Spice Things Up

A User's Guide for Fifty Shades of Grey: Hot Tips for Couples to Spice Things Up

3.4 15
by Jennifer Ryan
No doubt you've heard the chatter touting this read as "Mommy Porn," and no doubt you've caught the "Fifty Shades Buzz." You may have downloaded it on your e-reader to find out what the hype is all about, or you may have opted not to read it after hearing the vast spectrum of reviews, deciding that erotica just isn't your thing. "It" is the hottest new book to hit the


No doubt you've heard the chatter touting this read as "Mommy Porn," and no doubt you've caught the "Fifty Shades Buzz." You may have downloaded it on your e-reader to find out what the hype is all about, or you may have opted not to read it after hearing the vast spectrum of reviews, deciding that erotica just isn't your thing. "It" is the hottest new book to hit the shelves: Fifty Shades of Grey. Regardless of what you've heard up to now, I invite you to experience this book from a different angle: as a relationship user's guide. I promise, you will not be disappointed!

The Fifty Shades Trilogy is a tale of two people falling in love; facing, then finding peace with the demons in their lives; experiencing unconditional love; and healing. Oh, and it�s also got some really hot sex. Consequently, it is the sex that has some quite fearful of cracking open the pages of this little gem. I deliberately use the word �fearful� because if you�ve read the negative reviews of this story, no doubt you�ve seen but a small glimpse of the components of this trilogy including BDSM (bondage, dominance, sadism, and masochism) and erotica. Make no mistake, most people love this book for the hot lovemaking, sure, but if you read this entire series and aren�t drawn to the love story that ensues between these two characters, you may have sadly missed out on some foundational principles we can all use in our own relationships.

To clarify, yes, I am suggesting we use Fifty Shades of Grey as a guidebook of sorts, in our own relationships. This fictional work of art has a bounty of lessons we can all sink our teeth into (pun intended)! From spicing things up sexually to finding peace and contentment in an otherwise dull relationship, if you can make yourself get past the BDSM overtones and explicit sex scenes you may not be accustomed to reading, you�ll find some great tips to stimulate emotional connection in your relationship. And yes, even your sex life will be rejuvenated if you follow these simple tips I�ll be providing for you.

I'll be the voice of insight in this handy little relationship guide you�re now reading, letting you know precisely what women are talking about, and what to do about it. Hopefully there will be no shades of gray, only concrete, black and white answers.

Why does this series work? Why is it so hot? Why are women itching to have a little Christian Grey in their life? Why are people appalled that moms may actually ENJOY porn? And, most importantly, what can we learn from this book? I will seek to answer all of these questions throughout this guide. You'll want to keep up through the sex recommendations because part 7, the very last section of this guide, includes the most important recommendations for any relationship by far.

Couples, consider this your sex and relationship user�s guide. This trilogy has enraptured one or both of you because you want more in your relationship. If you can't quite put your finger on what the "more" is, you'll get more insight reading the Shades of Grey books and in this handy little relationship user�s guide. My relationship guide is what women are talking about with their friends, and the sex and intimacy read in these pages can be mimicked, at least in part, in your own relationship.

You want tangibles, I�m sure. Let�s talk specifics about the confidence and boldness of Christian Grey and what this means for your own relationship.

Editorial Reviews

June 2012 - Spork Spork
This book was easy to read and, although fairly short at 70 pages or so, provided quite a bit of insightful analysis that explains exactly why women, in particular, are obsessed with Fifty Shades of Grey. Furthermore, the book gives specific suggestions for both men and women on how to make that excitement translate into your own relationship/bedroom.

Far more than just a sex tip manual, this book delves into the psychology behind the craze, and explains how we can all learn from, and o

Product Details

Jennifer Slingerland Ryan
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Barnes & Noble
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Meet the Author

Jennifer is a Licensed Professional Counselor. As the founder of I Choose Change PLLC, she has worked in the mental health industry for close to 15 years and has been in private practice for over 10 years.

Her counseling technique is �cognitive behavioral therapy, sprinkled with a bit of spirituality.� The principles of cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and Attachment Theory are what she most adheres to in her work with both individuals and couples. She believes that early relationships create a blueprint for ALL other relationships throughout the lifespan, and our job is to change early processing and belief systems that keep you feeling stuck. Through their work together, her clients learn core principles of the change process, including:
� How early family relationships create a subconscious pattern of behavior in all other relationships throughout the lifespan (intimate, friends, co-workers, etc.)
� How thoughts, emotions, and actions are connected
� How early relationships create subconscious belief systems that drive everything we feel and do
� The role personality, intuition, and mindfulness play in the change process
� How homework and journal exercises between sessions make change happen more quickly
� How meditation, self-talk, role-playing, and role rehearsal affect the change process

In her work as a relationship counselor, she closely follows the same principles as outlined in attachment theory and cognitive behavioral theory, just as within individual therapy. Jennifer believes healthy individuals make healthy intimate partners. Often, relationship counseling starts as individual counseling so we can build a foundation for a healthy marriage.

She has been a partner to her husband for over 16 years and is Mom to 6 year old twin daughters and a 1 year old daughter � her most important job, by far! The balance between life roles (wife, mom, therapist, etc.) creates an unwavering desire to help others who are in need more harmony in their home and relationships.

For more information about Jennifer Slingerland Ryan, M.Ed., LPC-S, visit

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A User's Guide for Fifty Shades of Grey: Hot Tips for Couples to Spice Things Up 3.5 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 15 reviews.
Sporky More than 1 year ago
I found this book to be quite insightful. I'm not sure what the people that gave it a 1-star review are thinking. One admitted that they didn't even read this book. The other obviously is confused and read the sample, and didn't buy the complete book. I think there are a lot of misconceptions (as evidenced by one reviewer) about the Fifty Shades trilogy, which this book discusses. Do you find yourself perplexed at the popularity of this series among women? This books explains exactly why it appeals to women, and how to use that knowledge to improve our relationships, and our sex lives. I found the analysis spot on. Great book.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
If you're looking for a sexual "how-to", this is not the book for you. Instead, this book gives insight into why the books are so popular with women and gives real examples of how men and women can create true intimacy in their relationships. I love that it has helpful tips for men as well as women - and they are easy to incorporate into everyday life. If you're wanting to reconnect with your partner in the bedroom, this is a great, easy read with lots of ideas that will bring a spark back into your relationship.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
At first i thought it was to much sex, but by the second book i was totally hooked i read all three books in less than two weeks. and started reading them again. they are an easy read and addicting. Good job E L James. hope to read more of this in the future.
Lagal More than 1 year ago
I am a senior citizen and I enjoyed all three books because it showed how one person can help and bring the one she loves into the light. To show that we all spend our adult lives getting over our adolesence in one way or another. Our parents are not perfect and we don't come into this world with a set of ways to raise our young. Hit or miss we do screw up at times. Bringing someone out of the dark into the light is lifes joy.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
The same thing happened to me. Only goes to page 11. I would like a refund.
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Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Not just a love story but has mystery, suspense and lots of sex. Wonderful book and hated when I finished all of them. Cannot wait until the fourth one comes out!!! Hope the author continues after the fourth one!!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Wow it works so good love it!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Great writing!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I just bought this and it only goes up to page 11. Saying zend of sample. Help.?
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Having suffered through the GOD-AWFUL first book in the Twilight fan-fic turned novel Fifty-shades of grey, I found myself in the position of being extremely annoyed by Ana's idiocy and turned OFF by Christian's abusive controlling ways.....having read books with BOTH erotic, graphic, sometimes BDSM relationships, as well as an ACTUAL well written plot, I KNEW it wasn't because I was a prude....LKH anyone? But KNOWING ANYTHING about BDSM I also knew that a birgin would be OFF limits, and any suggestion that if one is into BDSM it equates to abuse as a child is insulting, nor is it the ONLY way to have sex or conduct their entire life around a SEXUAL preference.....it is PART of their SEX lives it does NOT engulf one's entire life...and to WANT someone to tell you when, what, where how to do EVERYTHING is not love, it is ownership, control, and disgusting.....women fought to stop being considered their husband's property, and now women are reading some woman's fantasy that turns a very young, inexperienced woman into nothing more than a sex toy for a creepy perv.....anyone who thinks this is a love story needs to redefine their definition of love...
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
You know what? I haven't read this book. But given that 50 Shades of Grey depicts an abusive, unhealthy relationship that has absolutely no relationship to real BDSM, I really don't want to. If you'd like to learn about what BDSM actually is, I've attached a recommendation. But this book? Skip it.