Above His Shoulders

Courageous, honest and triumphant

Above His Shoulders is a poignantly written, personal account of childhood sexual abuse. As we travel with the author from childhood, through adolescence and on to adulthood, we witness the searing impact of sexual abuse on the soul and the devastating impact on both personal and professional relationships.

The book is also about courage. Courage is something we all admire, and when asked to define the word, most likely conjures up images of physical bravery and protecting others from physical harm. The essence of courage is harder to define, but becomes clearer as we see instances identifying same, instances of holding onto one's moral center, casting off adversity and "doing the right thing" regardless of the consequences. Consider how the author is finally able to share his history of abuse with those closest to him, and the courage shown when confronting his perpetrator.

The author stands tall and blows the whistle on sexual perpetrators, on behalf of us all. His journey is courageous, honest, and triumphant.

Courage by Anne Sexton
It is in the small things we see it.
The child's first step,
as awesome as an earthquake.
The first time you rode a bike,
wallowing up the sidewalk.
The first spanking when your heart
went on a journey all alone.
When they called you crybaby
or poor or fatty or crazy
and made you into an alien,
you drank their acid
and concealed it.

Later,
if you faced the death of bombs and bullets
you did not do it with a banner,
you did it with only a hat to
comver your heart.
You did not fondle the weakness inside you
though it was there.
Your courage was a small coal
that you kept swallowing.
If your buddy saved you
and died himself in so doing,
then his courage was not courage,
it was love; love as simple as shaving soap.

Later,
if you have endured a great despair,
then you did it alone,
getting a transfusion from the fire,
picking the scabs off your heart,
then wringing it out like a sock.
Next, my kinsman, you powdered your sorrow,
you gave it a back rub
and then you covered it with a blanket
and after it had slept a while
it woke to the wings of the roses
and was transformed.

Later,
when you face old age and its natural conclusion
your courage will still be shown in the little ways,
each spring will be a sword you'll sharpen,
those you love will live in a fever of love,
and you'll bargain with the calendar
and at the last moment
when death opens the back door
you'll put on your carpet slippers
and stride out.

2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

inspiring

Good Book! The story of a little boy's emotional & spiritual journey, as he grows into a loving, responsible man. The journey is long, & full of pain & disappointment. As he finds peace, & a healing of his soul, the reader is left with the realization that others who have experienced abuse, can also heal their soul & find peace, happieness & love.

1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

A Subtle Exploration

Above His Shoulders is the story of a man's journey from youth through adulthood, and of the trauma that help shape its course. In his first book, author Dan Williams crafts an immersive and peripatetic narrative that weaves between such disparate locales as rural and decidedly Southern hamlet of Du Quoin, IL and the deeply impoverished and shocking environs of Bedford-Stuyvesant, Brooklyn. Williams details in vivid prose the traumas of his childhood, and how they led inextricably to the tragedies of his later years. But the work ends on a positive note, with the author finding peace in the deserts of the Southwest, and with it a mission to help other like himself avoid similar pitfalls.

The characters of Williams' story are rich with detail, from his stoic yet devoted father to his Grandpa Pete, a chronic jokester who owned a sleepy bar in the author's birthplace. We meet the nun who covered for Williams in a pinch, and the New York physician who introduced him to medicine as warfare. He manages to convey happiness at falling in love just as easily as the pain of its departure, and his descriptions of parenthood and the joys of being a father are deeply moving.

It's remarkable that just pages after a tender description of hunting rabbits with his father, Williams can open up and reveal his deepest wound, the repeated abuse he endured at the hands of his cousin, the antagonist in this tale. He shows us how these early injuries reverberated forward in time, helping to sow the seeds of failure in relationship after relationship, and frequently crippling his ability to lead a normal life. We also bear witness to his cathartic confrontation with his tormentor, and later his redemption, when he finds a direction with the help of a short Jewish psychiatrist and spiritual healer in the Arizona desert.

Whether you have had similar experiences and are looking for guidance, or are just interested in a good and powerful read, you should pick up a copy of Above His Shoulders and give it a try. There truly is something here for every reader.

1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

Life Lessons

The premise of the book may be centered on a courageous man¿s account of childhood abuse, but the messages of hope and tools for personal growth are applicable to every reader. If you have ever known anybody, including yourself, who has struggled with the never-ending challenges of life, from relationships to careers, self-doubt to false-pride, the pain of tragedy, or the joys and fear of parenting, you must read this book.<BR/><BR/>Mr. Williams imparts decades of wisdom, through his own vast experiences, both as a person as well as a practitioner, to give the reader hope and awaken the strength of faith within us to heal our souls and build our spirit to fully appreciate the gift of everyday. He empowers us to embrace even the trials of life as spirit-building experiences that cultivate increased fulfillment today, contentment despite uncontrollable circumstances, assets of humility and generosity, and passion for the future.

1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

Great Read, Intense,and Hopeful.

Book was very well written, not that clinical. It was nice to know that other people have had similar experiences and situations. I have a girlfriend that went through this, it was difficult for her. There is light at the end of the tunnel. That is one of the main points of this book.<BR/><BR/><BR/>This book can help other people seek out therapy and start the healing process. It is ok to disclose. For me it was shocking that this person dealt with so much and how much stronger this person is. Some people never confront there fears, this book tells you it is ok, and how you can do it. ANYONE CAN GET SOMETHING FROM THIS BOOK, EVEN IF THEY HAD NOT BEEN SEXUALLY ABUSE. Survival of the soul.

1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

Teaches One to Overcome Life Traumas

Being a nurse I deal with many physical traums. The traumas we do not see are those that occur to our spirit and our heart.<BR/>Dr. Williams disclosess his traumas, there impact and how he overcame the depression and rage. I love how he pulls the positive out of horrific moments.<BR/><BR/>It is an easy read, at times I struggled with the flow of the book. PLEASE READ THE EPILOGUE,IT WAS THE ICING ON THE CAKE, THE SUNRISE AND HOPE OF THE BOOK AND LIFE.<BR/><BR/>I don't know if all sexually abused victims should confront their perpetrators, however it worked for Dr. Williams.<BR/><BR/>Over all an intense book. That makes you think long after your done!!

1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

A Great Treatise on Sexual Abuse

I have purchased and read many books about sexual abuse, but this is the first book that compelled me to write a review. Aside from portraying the pain and the struggle of a victim of sexual abuse, this book acts as an A-Z treatise on the subject. A must read for anyone wanting to gain a deeper understanding of sexual abuse from a victim's perspective. A fascinating, informative, and emotionally charged read!

1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

Above His Shoulders

A very easy read, I am a therapist and found this to be very useful for my practice. I will advise this for my patients. It is inspiring. Starts out with an overwhelming descriptive sadness. The description of how sexual perpetrators work and manipulate is done very well. The analogies that are used with nature, are very inspiring. All therpists who treat adults who were abused as children should recomend this book. I will continue to refer to it.<BR/><BR/>There also great statistics in the back that are useful. The epilogue will move you to tears and joy.

1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

What a wonderful gift the author has given us. Not only is the author courageous in his sharing, but the humility and humor in the telling of his journey allow the wisdom throughout the book to be digested in a very effective and reader friendly way. As a psychologist, I have read many professional and layperson books pertaining to trauma and abuse, and only once in a while does a book stand out enough for me to recommend it to others. I will be recommending this book to many.

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