The Accidental Vampire (Argeneau Vampire Series #7)

( 350 )

Overview

Ever since an accident turned her into a knockout vamp, Elvi Black's been catching her z's in a coffin, staying out of the sun, and giving up garlic. She knows there's more to being undead than what she saw in Dracula, but she can't very well ask her mortal friends about proper biting etiquette. But when her neighbors placed a personal ad for her in the local paper, she never imagined she'd meet Victor Argeneau, a vampire who could have his pick of any woman—dead or alive.

Rich,...

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The Accidental Vampire (Argeneau Vampire Series #7)

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Overview

Ever since an accident turned her into a knockout vamp, Elvi Black's been catching her z's in a coffin, staying out of the sun, and giving up garlic. She knows there's more to being undead than what she saw in Dracula, but she can't very well ask her mortal friends about proper biting etiquette. But when her neighbors placed a personal ad for her in the local paper, she never imagined she'd meet Victor Argeneau, a vampire who could have his pick of any woman—dead or alive.

Rich, powerful, and drop—dead gorgeous, Victor's the perfect man for a novice neck—biter like Elvi. He's willing to teach her everything he knows, but he'll have to do it fast. Someone's out to put a stake through her new vamp life, and only Victor can keep her safe—and satisfied—for all eternity.

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780061229688
  • Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
  • Publication date: 1/1/2008
  • Series: Argeneau Vampire Series , #7
  • Format: Mass Market Paperback
  • Pages: 384
  • Sales rank: 121,149
  • Product dimensions: 6.70 (w) x 4.16 (h) x 1.05 (d)

Meet the Author

Lynsay Sands

Lynsay Sands is the nationally bestselling author of the Argeneau/Rogue Hunter vampire series, as well as numerous historicals and anthologies. She’s been writing stories since grade school and considers herself incredibly lucky to be able to make a career out of it. Her hope is that readers can get away from their everyday stress through her stories, and if there are occasional uncontrollable fits of laughter, that’s just a big bonus.

Biography

Born in Southern Ontario, Lynsay Sands is the New York Times bestselling author of the Argeneau Vampire series. She has written more than 34 books and anthologies since her first novel was published in 1997. Her romantic comedies span three genres—historical, contemporary, and paranormal—and have made the Waldenbooks, Barnes & Noble, USA Today, and New York Times bestseller lists.

Lynsay's books are read in more than twelve countries and have been translated into at least six languages. She's been a nominee for both the Romantic Times Best Historical Romance Award and the Romantic Times Best Paranormal Romance Award, was nominated and placed three times in the RIO (Reviewers International Organization) Awards of Excellence, and has several books on All About Romance's Favorite Funnies list.
Author biography courtesy of HarperCollins Publishers

Good To Know

1.) I started The Deed (my first romantic comedy and the first book to be published) a year after my mother's death. I was very close to my mother and the year following her death was about the most miserable time imaginable. But then I decided I was tired of being down and unhappy, and looked around for something to lift my spirits and make me laugh. When I couldn't find anything, I decided to sit down and write my own. It worked! Emmalene and Amaury's antics in The The Deed had me chuckling as I wrote.
2.) I met my husband in New York in July 2003. I was there because of the RWA conference and he was there on vacation. The first day there we kept running into each other and chatting in front of the hotel, and then he asked to join our group (it was very brave of him. He was the lone male amongst six or seven women, lol). He's a Brit and I'm Canadian and the first two months of our relationship were conducted by phone as well as over the internet. Our first date was a week in New York in September, followed by three weeks in England. He then came to Canada in both November and December, the first time to propose and the second time for Christmas with my family and then to take me back to England with him for New Years. I lived in Northern England for two years. We married in New York and now live in Canada.
3.) I was writing about my husband before I met him. Single White Vampire came out in September 2003 and I took a copy with me to England when I went for the three weeks. I walked into my now-hubby's house to find at least six months worth of mail unopened and stacked up on a shelf inside the front door. When I stopped dead, eyes going wide with shock and asked "My God. That's mail. You don't open your mail?" He looked embarrassed and muttered some explanation about bills automatically being paid by the bank so no need to open those and everything else was unsolicited and he couldn't be bothered. When I burst out laughing, he started to frown and said "What?" My response was to dig out the copy of Single White Vampire and hand it over with the suggestion he read it. The mail thing wasn't the only similarity he had to Lucern Argeneau. There are many more and when he sat down to read the book, he kept stopping and turning a rather startled and even suspicious gaze my way and muttering that this sounded familiar" or that did. I had to point out that it really was coincidence, that I had written that story at least nine months before meeting him. LOL.
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Read an Excerpt

The Accidental Vampire

Chapter One

It was a high-pitched scream that woke Elvi. Piercing and full of terror, it ripped her from sleep and had her moving before she was quite awake. She started up abruptly only to curse and drop back down when her head slammed into the wooden lid of the coffin.

Groaning at the pain vibrating through her skull, Elvi closed her eyes against the stars dancing before them and pressed a hand against her forehead. She'd really cracked herself good and would have liked to clasp her head in both hands and roll around in agony for a moment, but the casket wouldn't allow it.

And then a second terrified shriek reminded her of why she was awake.

She reached out with the hand not holding her head and gave the coffin lid a shove that sent it flying open. She then had to release her head to get up. Climbing out of a coffin was a two-handed job, and ridiculously strenuous first thing in the morning. Especially before her first bag of blood.

Elvi cursed her way out of the contraption, her bare feet slapping on the hardwood floor as she hurried out of her room without even bothering to grab a robe to cover the white cotton nightgown she wore. Another scream cut the air as she raced up the hall. A fourth was being issued just as she burst into Mabel's room. Elvi slammed the door open, uncaring that it crashed into the wall and probably left a lovely hole.

She spotted Mabel at once, standing on the bed in her robe, backed against the wall, silver hair a chaotic mass around her head and eyes wide with panic. The woman was waving a body brush wildly in the air at a bat that was swooping just aswildly around the room near the ceiling. She was also, apparently, screeching every time the winged animal came anywhere near her. Elvi watched as the bat swerved to avoid hitting the far wall and swooped back toward Mabel, setting off another shriek.

Veering to the side to avoid the waving shower brush, the bat swept through the open bathroom door and briefly out of sight. Elvi rushed over and slammed the door closed, trapping it inside.

"Oh!" Mabel collapsed on the bed, hugging the shower brush to her chest. "Oh, thank God."

Elvi propped her hands on her hips and scowled at her housemate. "You opened your windows last night." Mabel sighed at the accusation in her voice. "I had to open the windows. It was hot, Elvi."

"I know it was hot, Mabel. I live here too."

"But your windows have screens on them. The ones in your bedroom, at least."

"I sleep in a coffin," she pointed out in dry tones. "There are no windows in a coffin. Trust me, I know it was hot. But you can't open your windows until the replacement screens are in."

"Well, when the hell are they going to put them in already?" Mabel asked impatiently. "It's been two weeks now."

"They had to be specially made and shipped from the manufacturer," Elvi reminded her.

"Yes, because every damned window in this place is a different size," Mabel muttered.

Elvi's mouth quirked with amusement at her disgust. "Welcome to the world of Victorian houses. Ain't it great?"

"Ha!" Mabel snarled, and then sat up with alarm when Elvi moved toward the door to the hall. "Hey! Where are you going?"

"Back to my coffin."

"But what about the bat?" she asked with dismay, scrambling off the bed as quickly as her sixty-two-year-old body would allow and hurrying after her.

"What about it?" she asked, continuing up the hall.

"Well, aren't you going to get it out of my bathroom?"

"Do I look stupid to you?" Elvi asked with disbelief. "I'm not going near that thing. Call Animal Control."

"Animal Control? They won't be open now."

"They must have someone on call for emergencies. Call and find out," Elvi said firmly over her shoulder.

"But that could take hours," Mabel protested. "Can't you just get it out? I mean, you should have some sort of affinity with it."

Elvi paused at the door to her own room and turned on her in amazement. "Do I look like a flying rat to you?"

"No, of course not," Mabel said quickly, then added, "but you're a vampire and it's a bat . . . There should be some empathy or understanding or . . . something. Maybe if you tried you could talk to it."

"Right, and by that reasoning we should all be able to talk to monkeys. Let's try that the next time we're near a zoo," Elvi snorted, then repeated, "call Animal Control."

"Elvi!" Mabel cried and stomped her foot when Elvi turned to continue on into her room. "I can't take a shower with that thing in there."

"Mabel, there are six bathrooms in this house with showers and tubs. Use one of the others."

"But—"

Elvi closed the door on her further protest and moved toward the coffin, but paused when her eye caught the time on the digital clock on her dresser. Whipping back around, she yanked her door open and scowled at Mabel's retreating back. "It's nine o'clock!"

"So?" Mabel sounded miffed and kept walking.

"So why didn't you wake me up at eight o'clock like I asked?"

"Because you haven't been sleeping well, and you're exhausted, and I decided to let you sleep in . . . rather kindly in my opinion, but then I'm a kind considerate person . . . unlike some people who won't even try to talk to a bat for a dear faithful friend."

Elvi scowled over the attempt to put her on a guilt trip, and then ground out, "Mabel, it's Owen's birthday today. I have to make a cake and see to the decorations, and—"

The Accidental Vampire. Copyright © by Lynsay Sands. Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved. Available now wherever books are sold.
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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4.5
( 350 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star

(224)

4 Star

(76)

3 Star

(37)

2 Star

(9)

1 Star

(4)

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See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 352 Customer Reviews
  • Posted December 9, 2008

    more from this reviewer

    This a terrific amusing supernatural romantic suspense

    New to the world of the night, THE ACCIDENTAL VAMPIRE Elvi Black struggles to adjust. She mourns her inability to get a tan, eat food especially pizza, and sleep in a bed as coffins are not particularly conducive to anything but the sleep of the dead. Her friends are worried about her adjustment so though she tried to hide her change, they know and try to hook her up with a male vampire though where to find one seems difficult as the matchmaking services don¿t mention anyone with a bite. Her neighbors place a personal ad seeking a vampiric hunk as a companion to a female nightcrawler.----------- Taken aback with the ad that they assume is an inane joke by a mortal, the Vampire Council sends agent Victor Argeneau to investigate and if necessary kill the individual. When he meets Elvi he knows he found his soulmate and much more as shockingly she has a town filled with humans willing to die to keep her safe even as someone else who read the ad wants to teach her one particular aspect of being a vamp, a stake through the heart.----------- This a terrific amusing supernatural romantic suspense due to the desperate antics of the beleaguered heroine who feels like a newborn without adult supervision trying to hide what she has become. Victor is a strong courageous individual who besides mentoring the rookie risks his soul to keep his forever mate safe. The support cast enhances the overall tale especially the townsfolk who add a unique twist and the slayer. Sub-genre fans will enjoy Lynsay Sand¿s enjoyable tale and seek her previous winning vampire romances (see VAMPIRES ARE FOREVER and BITE ME IF YOU CAN).--------- Harriet Klausner

    5 out of 7 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted October 11, 2012

    Wonderful Read

    Like all the books in the Argeneau Series, this one was wonderful, you won't want to put it down once you start reading. Loved, loved, loved it.

    3 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted January 22, 2013

    WONDERFUL! Victor¿s story. Victor is Vincent¿s father ¿ from b

    WONDERFUL! Victor’s story. Victor is Vincent’s father – from book # 5 of this series. I’m not sure how to describe this book, without giving anything away. I enjoyed it so much, that I did not put it down until I finished it.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted December 7, 2013

    I love this series

    There is 20 books in this series,just finished this one. I like them all so far

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted May 29, 2011

    Highly Recommended!

    I read the reviews before I purchased the book. The ones stating that it was not well written and were silly worried me. Then I read it and loved it! You truly have to make up your own mind. I find this author hilarious and her works inviting. It just makes me smile to start a new book of hers and I will be sad when I finish the most recent one and will have to wait. Have fun reading!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 29, 2008

    Amazing

    This book was the first of the series I read. It was so funny and sexy. a great book. I WOULD SAY FOR AGES 16 AND UP!!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted July 14, 2008

    Utterly Ridiculous...

    A vampire that bites teenagers based on their immature dares, a vampire that runs frantically around for human food once she is told she can eat it, a vampire that sleeps in a coffin cause she thinks she has to? The most lame, unfunny vampire book I have ever read. I will be staying away from this author.

    1 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 22, 2008

    Disappointing

    Out of all the Argeneau series this one was the most disappointing. I expected way lot more then what you get out of this book. Her other books make you want to read it again and again and this one you kind of just want to get it over with. It felt rushed and you dont really connect with the characters.

    1 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 25, 2008

    AMAZING!

    OMG! this book is amazing. It's one of those kinds of books that you never want to put down. It's a page turner.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted February 10, 2008

    OMG IT WAS GREAT!

    this was the first book out of the series that i read. it was the best out of them all for me, but i think it is because this is the first one i read. this book was outstanding. i just can't even explain how good it was...it was just....THAT GOOD! i was kind of sad when someone was trying to kill Elvi but Victor had her back...and her front HA! but in the end they both are ok and live happily and i think they get married, but then wedding isn't part of the book. awesome book though

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 11, 2008

    Expected More!

    I'm a huge fan of Lyndsay Sands, so I was rather disappointed upon reading this story. It seemed so rushed and there was a lack of family connection that is a part of her other vampire novels. Also Elvi was rather silly and not understanding of how important it was to keep vampires and their ways a secret. For an older woman she behaved like an teenager and was unwilling to change anything about herself while Vincent had to do everything to please her! I read it and it had it exciting and funny parts but I found some of it lacking.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted January 20, 2014

    Excellent novel by Linsay Sands, as usual. Sands books seem to h

    Excellent novel by Linsay Sands, as usual. Sands books seem to have the witty humor and just enough mystery to keep me turning the
    pages. I really enjoy reading all of her books, especially the immortal series. In this book the recluse Victor gets sent on a case thinking
    they have an immortal breaking every law among their kind. Elvi didn't know there were laws or other immortal's. She also got all of her
    information from movies.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 26, 2013

    Good to pass the time

    This book had some funny parts but at times the story dragged a little for me.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 1, 2013

    Good read !

    As uaual, lynsay keep me reading all night long. Loved it!

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted October 10, 2013

    Still going strong

    Love this series!

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted October 2, 2013

    A female vampire

    walks in

    0 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted August 31, 2013

    Heery

    Ur the imposter

    0 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 31, 2013

    A kitten

    A kitten mewls an paws at the vampires shoe.

    0 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 30, 2013

    A MUST READ VERY INTERESTING

    A truly interesting love story with all the quirks of the series
    plus a few twists. this series is captivating hard to put down and
    gets you out of the every day and into their world

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted August 22, 2013

    I love this series, but...

    this one does not live up to expectations.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 352 Customer Reviews

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