Since 1996, people have been pouring out their relationship woes to the feisty, no-nonsense, online advice columnist for Friends and Lovers the Relationships Guide (friends-lovers.com). She tackles dating and other singles issues in ...
Since 1996, people have been pouring out their relationship woes to the feisty, no-nonsense, online advice columnist for Friends and Lovers the Relationships Guide (friends-lovers.com). She tackles dating and other singles issues in Advice for an Imperfect Single World and takes on issues facing married couples in Advice for an Imperfect Married World.
The Dating Game
“I am looking for my Mr. Right, but I worry I am not attractive to men. What can I do?”
“How does one go out with co-workers without risking committing sexual harassment, especially if one is in a supervisory position and the other rank and file?”
And Baby Makes Three
“My girl friend is having twins but I don’t know if I love her enough to spend the rest of my life with her, she is cool and all but I just don’t know if I’m ready to be a father since I am starting my career.”
“Every time we’re in an argument she always says cruel and nasty things about me.”
“I’m a virgin. She is not. She is 29 years old and I guess it’s not a surprise that she isn’t a virgin.”
“If sex is no good anymore, and you fantasize about someone else, is the relationship in trouble?”
“Anytime I have dumped a woman (which hasn’t been very often), I have considered it simple, decent, human courtesy to make sure she left knowing the reasons. She might not have liked the reasons, and she might not have agreed with the reasons, but she left knowing the reasons.”
“Is it appropriate of me to ask her to draw clear boundaries in her relationship with the ex, that is, to do ‘friend’ things and not romantic things like camping, or whatever?”
“Stupid me thought that he would come around and that he just needed a couple of months to fully get over his past relationship.”
“I have two guys in my life, one who treats me bad, and one who treats me good. This sounds like a no-brainer but I’m in love with the one who treats me bad.”
What’s Age Got To Do With It?
“I am in love with a woman who is 12 years younger than me. She is great and we have a good time, but I am worried that when I am 70 and she is still in her 50s, I won’t be able to, uh, keep up with her.”
Not Ready for Love
“I told her I needed space, and that really hurt her. I’m not even sure if I mean that Sometimes I want to be with her, but other times I just want to hang out with my friends.”
Trust and Forgiveness
“How come I can’t get over the fact that my boyfriend of 1 year and 1/2 cheated on me with one of my best friends? He claims he was drunk, but I don’t know if he was for sure.”
How to Leave Your Lover
“I’m currently engaged to be married. I no longer wish to go through with the wedding. I’ve tried numerous times to tell her how I feel but I just can’t do it.”
Cheaters and Cheating
“I have cheated on him with three men (all one night stands). After the first one, I confessed, and he forgave me. I never intended for it to happen again.
“My question is if I still love this girl, how do I get her out of my system so I can have meaningful relationships with other women that suit me and respect me?”
“I’ve been talking to a very special woman through e-mail for a few days now, and I know this sounds pretty stupid, but I feel that I love her.”
Lust or Love?
“I am 25 years old and thought I was in a great relationship until I met a co-worker. I fell totally head-over-heels for her in just two days.”
Dateless and Clueless
“I am shy, but not incapable of initiating conversations with friendly people, and suggesting number exchanges and activities when there seems to be interest. But after that I’m clueless!”
Three is a Crowd
“I really like this guy and he seems really sincere when he tells me he likes me. I know he’s never with his girlfriend because he’s usually with me. Should I give him a chance?”
Pat Gaudette is the founder of several relationships-oriented Web sites including award-winning Friends and Lovers and Midlife Club, which inspired her book How to Survive Your Husband's Midlife Crisis co-authored with Gay Courter. She was the Divorce Support Guide for About.com for over nine years.
Other books include Teen Mom: A Journal; Midnight Confessions: True Stories of Adultery; and Advice for an Imperfect Married World. Her media appearances have included NBC's Today Show and Naked New York with Bob Berkowitz.