Aging Is a Family Affair: How to Prepare for Tomorrow's Difficult Caregiving Conversations-Today

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Overview

Collecting 33 unique family case studies derived directly from patient experiences, formally conducted interviews, and informal encounters and anecdotes, this resource illustrates several inevitable lessons that reinforce the pressing need for families to engage aging loved ones sooner, not later, about long-term elder care, loss, and end of life planning. Each narrative approaches aging from a unique perspective, exposing real families overcoming their own taboos, dysfunctional relationships, unhealed wounds, ...

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Overview

Collecting 33 unique family case studies derived directly from patient experiences, formally conducted interviews, and informal encounters and anecdotes, this resource illustrates several inevitable lessons that reinforce the pressing need for families to engage aging loved ones sooner, not later, about long-term elder care, loss, and end of life planning. Each narrative approaches aging from a unique perspective, exposing real families overcoming their own taboos, dysfunctional relationships, unhealed wounds, and other unforeseen challenges. Unique in its focus, extent, and narrative format, each study is complemented by clear, reassuring, and practical advice.

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780824526238
  • Publisher: Crossroad Publishing Company
  • Publication date: 4/1/2011
  • Pages: 176
  • Product dimensions: 5.30 (w) x 8.20 (h) x 0.60 (d)

Meet the Author

Mary Ann Massey, EdD, is a licensed marriage and family therapist and is currently a full-time clinician at the Williamsburg Centre for Therapy. She lives in Alexandria, Virginia.

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Table of Contents

Prelude: The Stories We All Face 1

1 Family Speak: The Case for Talking with Aging Loved Ones Sooner Rather than Later 5

Respecting Differences

Five Factors

Unfinished Business I

Unfinished Business II

Next-Door Grandma

2 So Many Choices: Honoring Differences and Expanding Options 21

Exploring Options for Your Family

Long-Distance Daughter

No Longer Waiting for Dad to Die

Keeping a Spouse at Home-"I Can't Do That to My Husband"

The Freedom to Change Your Mind

3 Candid Conversations: Trusting Each Other with the Truth-Even When It Hurts 39

Opening the Door-The First Conversation

"I've Never Stood Up to Mom Before."

Asking for Details: "Mom, What Do You Want to Wear in the Coffin?"

When the Door Slams Shut: "I Won't Talk. Don't Ask Me."

4 Experiences With Professional Care: Parenting a Parent Who Can No Longer Live Independently 57

After the Fall

Dealing with Guilt: "Please Tell Me It's Not My Fault"

When One Aging Parent Cares for Another: "If You Won't Go to the Nursing Home, I Must."

5 Where Will Dad (Or Mom) Live? Knowing Our Caregiving Strengths and Limitations 74

The Challenges of Living under the Same Roof: "Whose House Is This, Anyway?"

Determined to Do It Alone

In-Town Caregivers

6 Doing the Right Thing (Whatever That Is): From Prescribed Scripts to the Wisdom of the Heart 88

Too Much Help: "Don't Treat Me Like an Invalid!"

Small Town-Family Support

A Daughter's Long-Time Hone

7 Siblings: Shared Genes, Differing Values 101

When Long-Distance Siblings Are Close and Local Ones Distant

Love in the Face of Dysfunction: "Mom Loved You More."

The Family Meeting: When A Parent Takes Charge

The Twins: A Story of Loyalty

8 Saying Goodbye Openly: Sharing the Sacred Journey 120

Marie's Story

A Tale of Two Families

Misguided Loyalty-We Can Never Protect Ourselves From Death

9 Saying Goodbye Privately: Silence on the Sacred Journey 132

Fred's Story

"Mommy, May I Climb in Bed with You?"

Will You Pray over Me?

"Daddy, Can You Hear Me? I'm Right Outside."

10 Now and at the Hour of Death: Stories from the Final Days of Life 142

Samantha's Change Of Heart

Deathbed Reconciliation

"A Vision of My Mom as God Intended Her to Be"

Final Recognition: "I know who you are."

11 The Sum of All Stories: Connected Forever 159

12 Embracing Our Own Future: Questions along Our Sacred Journey 166

13 Closing Comment 172

14 Notes 173

15 About the Author 177

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  • Posted August 13, 2012

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    A Mom's Choice Award Recipient!

    Aging Is a Family Affair is a recipient of the prestigious Mom's Choice Award. The Mom’s Choice Awards honors excellence in family-friendly media, products and services. An esteemed panel of judges includes education, media and other experts as well as parents, children, librarians, performing artists, producers, medical and business professionals, authors, scientists and others. A sampling of the panel members includes: Dr. Twila C. Liggett, ten-time Emmy-winner, professor and founder of PBS’s Reading Rainbow; Julie Aigner-Clark, Creator of Baby Einstein and The Safe Side Project; Jodee Blanco, New York Times best-selling Author and; LeAnn Thieman, motivational speaker and coauthor of seven Chicken Soup For The Soul books. Parents and educators look for the Mom’s Choice Awards seal in selecting quality materials and products for children and families

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    Posted November 12, 2011

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