This book is what I’ve found to be humorous about becoming a senior. When I was younger I was much too serious to find any humor in being young. Now that I belong to the older demographic, I’ve found a lot of things funny about getting old. This is my collection of personal observations, thoughts, and conversations about aging. I put this collection of humor into topics and those topics in alphabetical order. Not in order of importance or level of humor. This book is meant to entertain us seniors. Some of its contents is created, but most is factual. We seniors know there’s more than enough entertainment written and marketed for younger adults. I hope reading this makes you laugh and find some humor in our aging process.
Appearance: Standing in the check out line at my local grocery store I heard the voice of a little boy asking his father "Look Daddy, that man has cotton in his ears. Why does he have cotton in his ears?" I heard a quiet Shhh, from his dad. I turned around and noticed both of them quickly look away from me. Then I realized it was the hair in my ears that got the little boys attention. It was that funny looking long white hair growing out of my ear canals. Enough white hair to look like cotton to a little boy and probably to everyone else. Wonderful! I thought to myself. That’s just where I wanted more hair to grow. Why not hair that grows wild and out of control from the bald areas on the top of my head? This is the very same reason why I won’t take my shirt off in public. There’s more hair growing from my back these days than on my head. I don’t mind not being attractive anymore, but I sure don’t want to get attention by showing off the healthy wild crop on my back.
Positive ways of looking at aging: Getting old is a matter of how you look at it. In dog years you may be 120 plus years old, while in fossil years you may still be an infant. The next time someone calls you an “Old Fossil” tell them thanks. It could be a complement.
Home improvements: I enjoy fixing up and painting an older house. Remove a few over grown shrubs; finish up with the landscape and Ooo la la! Somebody stop me. I bet I could make this house look nice and still be within my budget (depending if no major repairs or new roof are required). Pure reward! Other than create songs and write a few stories, I enjoy buying and putting new life in older houses. It's like giving an old lady a sip from the fountain of youth and showing her off for one more glamorous ballroom dance.
Today I took down the original Chandeliers from the dining room and the front entry. I'm replacing them with fixtures more up to date. They have the tea stain glass, so they’ll match the updated look I’ve made throughout this house I’m remodeling. Then all the fixtures will have been replaced. Replacing the light fixture in the dining room was easy. Hanging the new fixture in the 12 foot high entry ceiling was a different story. A little TOO high and out of my step ladder comfort zone. I tried putting the step ladder on top of a wheel barrow, on top of a garbage can, on top of a lawn chair, on top of a table, and then stood on one foot while my other leg was stretched out to the side for balance. I still couldn't quite reach the light socket with my right hand, while holding the new light fixture with my left hand. It was kind of funny looking all the way down to the floor and seeing my little dog laying there. It was the first time I ever saw her with her paws over her eyes.
Holidays: Halloween we get fewer trick-or-treaters every year. Maybe it was the Tums and Rolaids that got mixed in with the candy a few years ago.