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Alice in Zombieland
     

Alice in Zombieland

3.1 210
by Lewis Carroll, Nickolas Cook
 

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They were indeed a queer-looking party that assembled on the bank-the birds with draggled feathers, the animals with their fur clinging close to them, and all dripping wet, cross, and uncomfortable. All of them were covered in Alice's now cold and congealed blood, which made them even tastier looking to poor hungry Alice.

When little Alice follows the

Overview

They were indeed a queer-looking party that assembled on the bank-the birds with draggled feathers, the animals with their fur clinging close to them, and all dripping wet, cross, and uncomfortable. All of them were covered in Alice's now cold and congealed blood, which made them even tastier looking to poor hungry Alice.

When little Alice follows the Black Rat down into the gaping darkness of an open grave, she falls and falls. And soon finds herself in an undead nightmare of rotting flesh and insanity. Venturing further into this land of zombies and monsters, she encounters characters both creepy and madcap along the way. But there's something else troubling poor Alice: her skin is rotting and her hair is falling out. She's cold. And she has the haunting feeling that if she remains in Zombieland any longer, she might never leave.

Can Alice escape Zombieland before the Dead Red Queen catches up to her?

Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher
"All the characters, however mentally disturbed, fit perfectly in this freakish land of undead things." - Ramsey's Reviews

"A cute, quick read." - Palmer's Picks for Reading

"I love it just as much as all the other classics I've read that have been remade into horror. I can guarantee you that you've never read anything like this, and aren't likely to again.

" - Literary Litter

"This has to be one of the most fun mash-ups I've read.

" - Michelle's Book Blog

Sincerely cute, if not a little morbid...

Product Details

ISBN-13:
9781402256219
Publisher:
Sourcebooks
Publication date:
03/01/2011
Pages:
256
Sales rank:
406,129
Product dimensions:
5.10(w) x 7.10(h) x 0.90(d)
Age Range:
15 - 18 Years

Read an Excerpt

Alice in Zombieland


By Lewis Carroll, Nickolas Cook, Sir John Tenniel, Brent Cardillo

Sourcebooks, Inc.

Copyright © 2011 Lewis Carroll and Nickolas Cook
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4022-5623-3



CHAPTER 1

DOWN THE DEAD-HOLE


Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister on the bank, and of having nothing to do. Her sister had seemed very displeased about having to accompany her against her will down to the graveyard that sprawled adjacent to their home. The graveyard, her favorite place to play, was all tangled gray vines and tilting ancient tombstones, bearing names she'd never heard before, though she supposed they must be family, in some distant past before she had been born. Alice loved to stroll through the graveyard, to pick the funereal flowers from old grassy knolls where someone dead most certainly must lie beneath. For her, there was always adventure in a graveyard.

Despite her sister's nasty disposition, it would have been a perfectly cloudy, chilly day in her favorite play place had she not been so hungry, for her sister had refused to have tea before angrily bringing Alice outside. Tea and a sandwich would be nice. Perhaps a nice meat pie, if the cook could be bothered to bake one up. For their cook made the best meat pies in the world and Alice could think of no better meal than a delicious hot meat pie.

As if being ravenous wasn't enough, now her sister was also refusing her the joy of perusing the ancient stones, and had hold of her arm while she read such dull material. Once or twice she had peeped into the book her sister was reading, but it had no pictures or conversations in it, "and what is the use of a book," thought Alice "without pictures or conversation?"

So she was considering in her own mind (as well as she could, for the chill of the bleak day made her feel very sleepy and stupid) whether the pleasure of making a daisy chain would be worth the trouble of getting up and picking the daisies, when suddenly a sleek Black Rat with shining dark eyes ran straight from a nearby tomb and quite close by her.

There was nothing so very remarkable in that; nor did Alice think it so very much out of the way to hear the Black Rat say to itself, "Oh dear! Oh dear! I shall be late!" (when she thought it over afterwards, it occurred to her that she ought to have wondered at this, but at the time it all seemed quite natural); but, when the Black Rat actually took a watch out of its waistcoat-pocket, and looked at it, and then hurried on, Alice broke from her sister's grip and started to her feet, for it flashed across her mind that she had never before seen a rat with either a waistcoat-pocket, or a watch to take out of it, and, burning with curiosity, she ran across the graveyard after it, despite her sister's angry yells for her to come straight back to her this instant, and fortunately was just in time to see it pop down into a gaping open grave. Clods of gray dirt sat all around its edge and a displeasing smell seemed to waft up from it.

For a moment, Alice stood beside the grave, her sister's voice far away and still frightening for all the distance, deciding whether she'd dare jump in after the strange Black Rat. In another moment, down went Alice after it, hardly considering how in the world she was to get out again.

Then she was tumbling forward into the stinking, black grave which went straight on like a tunnel for some way, and then dipped suddenly down, so suddenly that Alice had not a moment to think about stopping herself before she found herself falling down and down. On the way down, she hit her head upon the leaning tombstone, and tears filled her eyes for a moment as she tumbled forward.

Either the grave was very deep, or she fell very slowly, for she had plenty of time as she went down to look about her and to wonder what was going to happen next. First, she checked the smarting place on her head and pulled back a small hand coated with bright red blood. Her head hurt quite a bit, but as there was nothing to do but cry or get along with her adventure, she chose to stifle her tears and smile through the pain bravely. Then she tried to look down and make out what she was coming to, but it was too dark to see anything; then she looked at the sides of the deep, deep grave, and noticed that they were filled with strange and frightening things. In some places, she could see rotting bones poking from the dark soil; in others skulls leered at her as she fell by them, missing teeth giving silent voice perhaps to warn her back from what lie at the bottom of the grave. It made her feel quite out of sorts to see such emblems of death sitting so close next to her.

"Well!" thought Alice to herself, "after such a fall as this, I shall think nothing of tumbling down stairs! How brave they'll all think me at home! Why, I wouldn't say anything about it, even if I fell off the top of the house!" (Which was very likely true.)

Down, down, down. Would the fall never come to an end! "I wonder how many miles I've fallen by this time?" she said aloud. "I must be getting somewhere near the center of the earth. Let me see: that would be four thousand miles down, I think—" (for, you see, Alice had learnt several things of this sort in her lessons in the schoolroom, and though this was not a very good opportunity for showing off her knowledge, as there was no one to listen to her, still it was good practice to say it over) "—yes, that's about the right distance—but then I wonder what Latitude or Longitude I've got to?" (Alice had no idea what Latitude was, or Longitude either, but thought they were nice grand words to say.)

Presently she began again. "I wonder if I shall fall right through the earth! How funny it'll seem to come out among the people that walk with their heads downward! The Antipathies, I think—" (she was rather glad there WAS no one listening, this time, as it didn't sound at all the right word) "— but I shall have to ask them what the name of the country is, you know. Please, Ma'am, is this New Zealand or Australia?" (And she tried to curtsey as she spoke—fancy curtseying as you're falling through the air! Do you think you could manage it?) "And what an ignorant little girl she'll think me for asking! No, it'll never do to ask: perhaps I shall see it written up somewhere."

Down, down, down. The pain in her head had turned into a deep throb, but she continued to ignore it and held in her tears some more. There was nothing else to do, so Alice soon began talking again. "Dinah'll miss me very much tonight, I should think!" (Dinah was the cat.) "I hope they'll remember her saucer of milk at tea-time. Dinah my dear! I wish you were down here with me! There are no mice in the air, I'm afraid, but you might catch a bat, and that's very like a mouse, you know. But do cats eat bats, I wonder?" And here Alice began to get rather sleepy, and went on saying to herself, in a dreamy sort of way, "Do cats eat bats? Do cats eat bats?" and sometimes, "Do bats eat cats?" for, you see, as she couldn't answer either question, it didn't much matter which way she put it. She felt that she was dozing off, and had just begun to dream that she was walking hand in hand with Dinah, and saying to her very earnestly, "Now, Dinah, tell me the truth: did you ever eat a bat?" when suddenly, thump! thump! down she came upon a heap of cold sodden earth that smelled of dead things. Nasty, pale worms writhed throughout the small hill and she hastily threw herself from the dirt, wincing in disgust. Worms and beetles crawled through the sodden earth, clicking and grubbing along at her feet. Was this what a grave was like inside? she wondered. She'd often wondered how the darkness got along without the light of the sun, how things lived; now she had a better idea how the things that lived without light got along.

Alice's head still ached but she decided to ignore it and she looked up, but it was all dark overhead; before her was another long passage, and the Black Rat was still in sight, hurrying down it. There was not a moment to be lost: away went Alice like the wind, and was just in time to hear it say, as it turned a corner, "Oh my ears and whiskers, how late it's getting!" She was close behind it when she turned the corner, but the Rat was no longer to be seen: she found herself in a long, low hall, which was lit up by a row of dim, flickering lamps that seemed to cast off a cold light hanging from the roof.

There were doors all round the hall, but they were all locked; and when Alice had been all the way down one side and up the other, trying every door, she walked sadly down the middle, wondering how she was ever to get out again.

Suddenly she came upon a little three-legged table, all made of solid glass; there was nothing on it except a tiny golden key, and Alice's first thought was that it might belong to one of the doors of the hall; but, alas! either the locks were too large, or the key was too small, but at any rate it would not open any of them. However, on the second time round, she came upon a low black curtain she had not noticed before, and behind it was a little door about fifteen inches high: she tried the little golden key in the lock, and to her great delight it fitted!

Alice opened the door and found that it led into a small passage, not much larger than a rat-hole: she knelt down and looked along the passage into the grandest graveyard you ever saw. How she longed to get out of that dark hall, and wander about among the tall upright headstones and weathered and ancient tombs, to lay amongst the weedy distance and the wood beyond. She was sure adventure could be had in a wood so dark and foreboding, but she could not even get her bloody, throbbing head though the doorway; "and even if my head would go through," thought poor Alice, "it would be of very little use without my shoulders. Oh, how I wish I could shut up like a telescope! I think I could, if I only knew how to begin." For, you see, so many out-of-the-way things had happened lately, that Alice had begun to think that very few things indeed were really impossible.

There seemed to be no use in waiting by the little door, so she went back to the table, half hoping she might find another key on it, or at any rate a book of rules for shutting people up like telescopes: this time she found a little bottle on it, ("which certainly was not here before," said Alice,) and round the neck of the bottle was a paper label, with the words "Drink me" beautifully printed on it in large letters.

It was all very well to say "Drink me," but the wise little Alice was not going to do that in a hurry. "No, I'll look first," she said, "and see whether it's marked 'poison' or not"; for she had read several nice little histories about children who had got burnt, and eaten up by wild beasts and other unpleasant things, all because they would not remember the simple rules their friends had taught them: such as, that a red-hot poker will burn you if you hold it too long; and that if you cut your finger very deeply with a knife, it usually bleeds; and she had never forgotten that, if you drink much from a bottle marked "poison," it is almost certain to disagree with you, sooner or later.

However, this bottle was not marked "poison," so Alice ventured to taste it, and finding it very nice (it had, in fact, a sort of mixed flavor of cherry-tart, custard, pineapple, roast turkey, toffee, and hot buttered toast), she very soon finished it off. "What a curious feeling!" said Alice. "I must be shutting up like a telescope."

And so it was indeed: she was now only ten inches high, and her face brightened up at the thought that she was now the right size for going through the little door into that lovely graveyard. First, however, she waited for a few minutes to see if she was going to shrink any further: she felt a little nervous about this; "for it might end, you know," said Alice to herself, "in my going out altogether, like a candle. I wonder what I should be like then?" And she tried to fancy what the flame of a candle is like after the candle is blown out, for she could not remember ever having seen such a thing.

After a while, finding that nothing more happened, she decided on going into the graveyard at once; but, alas for poor Alice! when she got to the door, she found she had forgotten the little golden key, and when she went back to the table for it, she found she could not possibly reach it: she could see it quite plainly through the glass, and she tried her best to climb up one of the legs of the table, but it was too slippery; and when she had tired herself out with trying, the poor little thing sat down and finally cried. Her head hurt dreadfully and she felt so tired and frustrated.

"Come, there's no use in crying like that!" said Alice to herself, rather sharply; "I advise you to leave off this minute!" She generally gave herself very good advice, (though she very seldom followed it) and sometimes she scolded herself so severely as to bring tears into her eyes; and once she remembered trying to box her own ears for having cheated herself in a game of croquet she was playing against herself, for this curious child was very fond of pretending to be two people. "But it's no use now," thought poor Alice, "to pretend to be two people! Why, there's hardly enough of me left to make one respectable person!"

Soon her eye fell on a little glass box that was lying under the table: she opened it, and found in it a very small cake, on which the words "Eat me" were beautifully marked in currants. "Well, I'll eat it," said Alice, "and if it makes me grow larger, I can reach the key; and if it makes me grow smaller, I can creep under the door; so either way I'll get into the graveyard and the woods, and I don't care which happens!"

She ate a little bit, and said anxiously to herself, "Which way? Which way?" holding her hand on the top of her seeping head to feel which way it was growing, and she was quite surprised to find that she remained the same size: to be sure, this generally happens when one eats cake, but Alice had got so much into the way of expecting nothing but out-of-the-way things to happen, that it seemed quite dull and stupid for life to go on in the common way.

So she set to work, and very soon finished off the cake.

CHAPTER 2

THE POOL OF BLOOD


Curiouser and curiouser!" cried Alice (she was so much surprised, that for the moment she quite forgot how to speak good English); "now I'm opening out like the largest telescope that ever was! Good-bye, feet!" (for when she looked down at her feet, they seemed to be almost out of sight, they were getting so far off). "Oh, my poor little feet, I wonder who will put on your shoes and stockings for you now, dears? I'm sure I shan't be able! I shall be a great deal too far off to trouble myself about you: you must manage the best way you can—but I must be kind to them," thought Alice, "or perhaps they won't walk the way I want to go! Let me see: I'll give them a new pair of boots every Christmas."

And she went on planning to herself how she would manage it. "They must go by the carrier," she thought; "and how funny it'll seem, sending presents to one's own feet! And how odd the directions will look!

Alice's right foot, Esq.
Hearthrug,
Near the fender,
(With Alice's love).


Oh dear, what nonsense I'm talking!"

Just then her already aching, bleeding head struck against the roof of the hall: in fact she was now more than nine feet high, and she at once took up the little golden key and hurried off to the little door.

Poor Alice! It was as much as she could do, lying down on one side, to look through into the garden with one eye; but to get through was more hopeless than ever: she sat down and began to cry again. "You ought to be ashamed of yourself," said Alice, "a great girl like you," (she might well say this), "to go on crying in this way! Stop this moment, I tell you!" But she went on all the same. But the bump to her head had really started the blood flowing now and soon she was shedding gallons of warm, red blood, until there was a large pool all round her, about four inches deep and reaching half down the hall.

After a time she heard a little pattering of feet in the distance, and she hastily dried her eyes, wiping the blood from her face (strangely enough she no longer felt any pain at all; it was as if that last bump had settled the matter of whether she must feel pain), to see what was coming. It was the Black Rat returning, splendidly dressed, with a pair of white kid gloves in one hand and a large fan in the other: he came trotting along in a great hurry, muttering to himself as he came, "Oh! the Duchess, the Duchess! Oh! won't she be savage if I've kept her waiting!" Alice felt so desperate that she was ready to ask help of any one; so, when the Rat came near her, she began, in a low, timid voice, "If you please, sir—" The Rat started violently, dropped the white kid gloves and the fan, and scurried away into the darkness as hard as he could go.

Alice took up the fan and gloves, and, as the hall was very hot, she kept fanning herself all the time she went on talking: "Dear, dear! How queer everything is to-day! And yesterday things went on just as usual. I wonder if I've been changed in the night? Let me think: was I the same when I got up this morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little different. But if I'm not the same, the next question is, Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle!" And she began thinking over all the children she knew that were of the same age as herself, to see if she could have been changed for any of them.


(Continues...)

Excerpted from Alice in Zombieland by Lewis Carroll, Nickolas Cook, Sir John Tenniel, Brent Cardillo. Copyright © 2011 Lewis Carroll and Nickolas Cook. Excerpted by permission of Sourcebooks, Inc..
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Meet the Author

Lewis Carroll (1832-1898), the pen name of Oxford mathematician, logician, photographer, and author Charles Lutwidge Dodgson, is famous the world over for his fantastic classics "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland," "Through the Looking Glass," "The Hunting of the Snark," "Jabberwocky," and "Sylvie and Bruno."

Nickolas Cook is an editor, a horror critic and reviewer, and the author of a couple of dozen published short stories and three novels.

Brief Biography

Date of Birth:
January 27, 1832
Date of Death:
January 14, 1898
Place of Birth:
Daresbury, Cheshire, England
Place of Death:
Guildford, Surrey, England
Education:
Richmond School, Christ Church College, Oxford University, B.A., 1854; M.A., 1857
Website:
http://www.lewis-carroll-birthplace.org.uk/

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Alice in Zombieland 3.1 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 209 reviews.
Sensitivemuse More than 1 year ago
The book certainly had its' fun moments! Zombieland was well written and well thought out. It certainly put a funny twist on Wonderland (even though Wonderland is quirky to begin with anyway). It's definitely not for the squeamish, as body parts are flying everywhere and Alice gets a craving for a bite of flesh once very so often. The characters are all there, they're just zombified. The only difference I have seen is instead of a White Rabbit, you have a Black Rat instead. (If I am wrong, forgive me, it's been a while since I've read the original Alice in Wonderland). The zombie element does not really get in the way of the plot, so nothing much has really changed. My favorite moment was the croquet game between the Queen and Alice - it's more of a croquet game with body parts which was laughable and was fun to read through. Even though it was a fun idea, I felt like there just could have been more to this story. There just wasn't enough to it that I could fully enjoy the book. To me, it felt as if they just copied and pasted the zombie bits of the story and added it to Alice in Wonderland, and just changed the title appropriately. It just felt like a very haphazard read. Perhaps what I wanted to see was, a twist to the plot to enhance the zombie aspect of the novel. Not just zombies added. It did feel like all you got was a simple add on to the story (something similar to an expansion pack for a game). More could be done with the combination but sad to say, there really wasn't anything to it. It was a clever idea, and it had potential, but a lot more could have been done with this book. Instead, what you got was a few cut and paste moments of zombie goodness. Some parts were good and fun to read, but it just seemed to be lacking in something big to make this book exceptionally good and read worthy.
Emilia Granados More than 1 year ago
Its actually the best book I ever read. Some parts would be gross but its actually suppose to be nasty becuase the title is "Alice in Zombieland". If you like mystery and zombies like me this is your book. Some kids will love this book trust me because I'm a little girl
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This was a very interesting and disturbing book. I would definitely recommend this book to anyone that can handle gore!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
The story is fine. it's Alice as a Zombie. But the great thing about this mash-up is that it comes with illustrations! The original John Tenniell classics re-imagined. So cool!
grumpydan More than 1 year ago
A lot of classic novels are being retold with a horrific theme, and Alice in Wonderland is one of them. This retelling has Alice following a black rat and falling down an open grave and into Zombieland. Although written with a humorous bent and following the original somewhat, I did not find this to be as exciting or interesting as I first hoped.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Brief take on the classic Alice story with altered characters that seem to fall short of the potential from a story like this. I found myself wishing that the author had been more creative instead of randomly switching out words for "zombie" and the like. Very quick read; glad it was a freebie.
Vizzini More than 1 year ago
Yes, the original Alice is a weird enough story to begin with, but it was something radically new in its time. This is basically a thinly disguised ripoff and offers nothing more than some rotting body parts, gross scenes, and lightweight parody. There are many other better books in the horror genre. Don't even think about enjoying this one. Not an original idea to be found here.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I had thought this would have a new take on a classic story, but the story was exactly the same, just the charcters were made into zombies.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This is a gorey-fied version of Alice In Wonderland. I wonder what the age appropriate is for this book. It certainly doesn't come under the category of a bedtime story. Are the free Friday offers books that no one wants to read or buy, because I would not buy this book for myself or for my child. Since it was offered for free, I read it and did find it amusing.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I loved this book! I would really like to see this as a movie, it would be crazy!
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Alice in zombie land is kind of co but i like the storytell betterle
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Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This book was a wastof time. Read alice in wonderland and don't bother with this version.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This was dumb. Pointless. Boring.
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It was ok not that origanal but what are you to expect it is still alace um not recomended for those who cant stand gore or anyone below 12years old at least