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Author of the bestselling How to Make Love All Night, Dr. Keesling has counseled countless couples on how to make sex sizzle by following her sound advice and easy-to-follow exercises, All Night Long incorporates advice and exercises that are geared to those who are over fifty or whose partners are over fifty. But most I important, Dr. Keesling addresses the myths that are at the base of people's anxieties about aging. By taking the mystery out of the aging process, Dr. Keesling clears the way for a new understanding of just what to expect-and what to look forward to.
Many women are worried-not for themselves but for their partners. They are afraid that the physical changes that accompany growing older will take an emotional toll on their loved ones. Dr. Keesling explains exactly what changes to expect and reveals how many of these art-misperceived as negative when they are actually positive-once you are prepared to approach them with information and insight.
We live in a fast-paced society, where not getting there quickly enough often means losing out. This is not the case with lovemaking: Slowing down truly enhances your sex life. All Night Long is the perfect guide to educate, reassure, and reinvigorate anyone's love life, and for those boomers who are wondering what happens next, All Night Long supplies the answer: It just gets better!
Love Begins at 50
(And You Don't Need a Pill!)
This is not a book about Viagra. I need to make that clear before we get started because I know it's on your mind; these days, it's on everybody's minds. In the next ten chapters I am going to share a comprehensive sexual anti-aging formula that I developed over the past ten years with my colleagues — sex therapists, urologists, psychologists and cardiologists-and my wonderful clients. But there isn't any little blue pill called Viagra in this potent formula. And if you think I'm going to spend most of this book talking about "magic pills" such as Viagra, you don't know me very well. My anti-aging formula isn't something you can buy with a prescription, or purchase over the counter (though you might discover some of it under the table!). It does not come in pill form. It is a program of simple exercises that anyone can learn, combined with basic wisdom that every man and woman can embrace. And the only one who is qualified to dispense it is you.
I first decided to write this book before the introduction of Viagra. Then this "magic pill" appeared, followed by copycats, wannabes, herbal alternatives and new, improved versions. For a while, it seemed as though the universe had been turned on its ear as millions of prescriptions were being handed out around the globe and pharmacists were suddenly busier than they could ever remember. It looked as though sex after 50 would be something we would get in a pill. "Take two, and call me when you're ready." Would that become our rallying cry? For a while, everyone wondered. Even I wondered. For a while.
We all know what pills such as Viagra can dothey can help many men get an effective erection.* But it took a little longer for most of us to discover what Viagra, and other magic little pills, can't do. It also took a little longer for us to discover that for the vast majority of men over 50 — men who are not clinically impotent-these pills can actually interfere with healthy, natural, incredibly positive sensual and sexual changes that time provides free of charge.
*Please Note: Every man should consult his physician and carefully evaluate his personal risks before ever taking any of these medicines. Contraindications are serious and often lifethreatening.
I have no interest in passing judgment on any performance-enhancing medication (particularly medications that are endorsed by distinguished former members of Congress!). I'm glad men have such medicines and remedies available to them. I'm all for anything that gives more people the opportunity to enjoy sex, and it's important to have options. But I think it is more important to point out the limitations of any solution — be it this year's medical miracle, next year's and so forth — that comes in pill form. And we need to start with the biggest limitation of all: A pill may give a man an erection, but it doesn't necessarily make him more sensual, more caring or more loving. To the contrary, it can actually decrease his motivation to become a better partner, particularly if he's a man who equates having an erection with being a satisfying lover.
I call this "erection-first thinking." "I've got an erection," he tells himself, "what else do you need?" And that is the end of sexual growth. Perhaps this limitation is not obvious to you, but it is obvious to a professional sex therapist whose goal is increased intimacy and gratification. Maybe you have been doing a little "erection-first thinking" of your own.
The focus has to be on lovemaking, not erections — on partnership, not performance. Yes, we want our partner to have an erection! For his enjoyment, and for ours. But what we want more than anything is to have a partner we can make love to. It is our heart and soul that we want to have penetrated. We want this kind of penetration when our partner is 50, and 60, and 70, and 80. An erection can't do that. A pill can't do that. Only making love to the man we love can do that.
Sharing Secrets: You Are the Most Special Ingredient in This Anti-Aging Formula
So if there is no medicine in my secret formula, what is this fountain of sexual youth? I will share everything with you in the pages that follow. I will share all of my secrets, even the ones I hold most dear. But you need to know right now that the key ingredient in this erotic recipe is you. Your interest. Your attitude. Your support. Your openness. Your enthusiasm. Your willingness to experiment. Your love. And your willingness to work: your willingness to work with your partner to have the kind of sex life you want.
This book is for you. Much of it you will choose to share with the man you love. Perhaps you will encourage him to read it from cover to cover. But it is for you, because you are the catalyst for change.
By following a program of simple exercises, learning a few easy-to-master sexual techniques and acquiring some basic information that will foster an open, loving attitude, you can keep your man-and yourself-sexually fit, sexually focused and sexually fabulous for decades. It doesn't require any pills or gadgets. It doesn't require a Ph.D. The only requirement is the love between you and your partner, and a shared desire to keep your sex life special. If you have that, the rest is easy. You just need to get started.
|1||Love Begins at 50 (And You Don't Need a Pill!)||11|
|3||Facts and Fiction After 50||45|
|4||The Temperamental Penis||63|
|5||Sexual Fitness and the Full Penis Workout||93|
|6||Harsh Words, Healing Words||109|
|7||Experimenting with Arousal||123|
|8||Orgasm, Ejaculation and Love After 50||141|
|9||Your Body, Your Changes||165|
|10||Heart to Heart||289|
|Simple Solutions for Physical Problems||201|