The Alphabet of Manliness [NOOK Book]

Overview

Sometimes in life you say certain words in conjunction with other words that you normally wouldn't, such as the word "holy" and the word "shit." Those times are rare and celebrated. Well, get your face hole ready, because this is one of those times: introducing The Alphabet of Manliness: Special Edition!

If it's a crime to be awesome, then I deserve three life sentences and the death penalty. This literary kick to the dick may very well be the ...

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The Alphabet of Manliness

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Overview

Sometimes in life you say certain words in conjunction with other words that you normally wouldn't, such as the word "holy" and the word "shit." Those times are rare and celebrated. Well, get your face hole ready, because this is one of those times: introducing The Alphabet of Manliness: Special Edition!

If it's a crime to be awesome, then I deserve three life sentences and the death penalty. This literary kick to the dick may very well be the greatest compilation of all things manly throughout history.

The new edition includes:

  • "The Numbers of Manliness."
  • A full-color insert
  • Corrections to typos!

I, Maddox, the author, personally guarantee that this is the best edition of the book since the last one. This book is only for the saltiest, hairiest, most rugged sons of bitches out there. However, it would be selfish to keep it for myself, so feel free to pick up a copy. This humble tome of wisdom is a tribute to all men who toil away at work every day, getting their balls busted or busting balls alike.

If you can't handle the punch to the colon I'm about to deliver to you, look on the bright side: you'll save a fortune on Halloween when kids come to your door to pick apart your candy ass. On the other hand, if you feel comfortable with the risk of having your ass neatly packaged and handed to you with all the trimmings, cut the foreplay and crack the book open already.

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780806532080
  • Publisher: Kensington Publishing Corporation
  • Publication date: 9/1/2009
  • Sold by: Barnes & Noble
  • Format: eBook
  • Pages: 272
  • Sales rank: 356,032
  • File size: 5 MB

Meet the Author

Maddox

Maddox has been writing hilarious essays for his site, thebestpageintheuniverse.com since 1996. Through word-of-mouth alone, it has become one of the most popular personal sites on the Internet, with more than 50,000 unique visitors per day.

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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4.5
( 99 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star

(69)

4 Star

(14)

3 Star

(7)

2 Star

(5)

1 Star

(4)

Your Rating:

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See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 99 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted February 26, 2011

    Lifesaving.

    This book cured my cancer. Unfortunately, all the ass I got because of having read this book caused me to contract herpes.

    6 out of 7 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 15, 2010

    I Also Recommend:

    MANLY!

    After reading this book I woke up with an eye patch, five o'clock shadow,and a barrel of whiskey all from having this book's bad-a**ness delivered in one fell swoop! Awesome book!

    4 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted August 19, 2009

    more from this reviewer

    Kind of hypocritical

    I am, or rather used to be a huge Maddox fan. I enjoyed his site, recommended it to friends and bought the first edition of his book. I was excited to read the book, I find his honestly crude and mean humor funny. However the book disapointed me, I felt like more of his web posts were much more comical then this book. Since the book Maddox has all but abandoned the site that launched his career. I don't blame him, he's busy with many other projects and writing on a site that I can't imagine he profits a lot from due to lack of advertisers probably isn't huge on his list of priorities. However I feel like him relaunching his book with a different cover and probably a few new pages written half-assed is kind of selling out. This is exactly the kind of thing that he would criticize on his web site and now, money hungry or just an experiment to see how many of his followers will purchase another copy, he has chosen to go the typical money whoring route. I won't be buying this new edition, nor will I proably even bother to read the new updates at the local bookstore while pretending I have intentions to buy it.

    4 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 8, 2009

    Just plain dumb

    Title makes it funny to give as a gift, but not really worth reading. Predictable.

    4 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 12, 2006

    Manliness at it's best

    As a female reading the book, I find it amazingly funny. Most women are totally offended by his writings, but perhaps they are offended because there's a bit of truth to his perfected form of sarcasm. This book is worth reading for anyone as long as you're not easily offended, and even if you are...maybe you should still take a look..

    3 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 3, 2006

    Highly Recommended

    Ok, i'll admit..there are several lines in the book which came directly from Maddox's site, which I found kind of annoying. However, the one liners were very few and very far between. The overall content is fresh Maddox matierial and man...it really is hilarious. Whats great is that the few stuck up a**holes who are giving it negative reviews are actually just driving people even more to read Maddox's book. They just dont get it. Thanks alot for the bad publicity...youre helping to drive sales through the roof, i'm sure. We live in age of cynicism and Maddox is the sarcasm king. Get this book. And seriously...buy 2. You'll find a friend who youll want to read it as well so you can laugh about the humor in this book.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 11, 2006

    Sex, Mass Geniocide, Atari, and Candy...

    The items listen in my headline combined do not even compare to how great this book us. Finally, a book that highlights how awesome my profession (professional lumberjack) is as well as our uniform flannel. This book is so manly, you're going to have to shave it twice a day in order to read it.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 13, 2006

    great art, fresh content, but not Maddox's best.

    Maddox is at his definite best when ranting about/making fun of something, and that's pretty much the only time this book had me laughing. Don't get me wrong, i love his website and the parts that did have me laughing had me on the floor in fits, but the expectations built up from his previous content were sorely missed.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 25, 2006

    humororous but a little lacking

    I've been a fan of Maddox's website for years now, much like a vast majority of the people who bought this book. Maddox is an interesting writer in the sense that even though his material is so insanely satirical, there are legitimate haters of his work, who think of him as an uninspired hack. There's really no other way to look at it though... you love what he does or you hate it. Personally, I think he's one of the more skilled writers around. After reading portions of this book, it would be really interesting to see if the man wrote a serious novel. Even though the book is a self-described 'manliness instruction manual,' parts of it have a very novel, almost Charles Bukowski feel to it. And much like a Bukowski novel, it ends rather abruptly, and if you're the type of reader I am, you begin to wonder where the line between autobiography and simple musings exist. This review is dragging on a bit, so I'll get to my only real complaint with the book: it's a little uneven. For A through M, the book is a consistant mix of hilarious and intriguing. Somewhere around 'N is for Norris, Chuck,' the book begins to suffer a little, and at times, you wonder if the material was rushed a little toward the end. All in all, it's a hilarious and interesting insight into the mind of a man who is either extremely evil or one of the most prolific writers of modern times. I'm voting for prolifically evil.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 7, 2006

    Not what most might expect

    Those fans of Maddox' website entries might be somewhat dissapointed with the new book. While most of it is typical Maddox, it feels very forced. Occaissionally, it is clear that Maddox sacrificed his voice to meet some other requirement (publisher requirement, lack of creativity to meet a deadline, etc.) Though the book is funny, it lacks much of what made Maddox' website 'The best.'

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 21, 2006

    Your mom inspired this review.

    Not really. But seriously, I don't understand how there are 17 reviews already about a book that no one has read yet... I'm sure it will be entertaining, as Maddox's material usually is, but it's nothing to worship. I mean, the guy isn't exactly a lumberjack/pirate himself-- he sits around in front of a computer all day. Think about it.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 17, 2006

    looking forward to it

    I've read some of Maddox's writings in the past and they usually make me bust out laughing from sheer shock or bluntness. If you get offended easily I would not recommend this book, but his taste of humor is a nice change.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 14, 2013

    sghll Shit

    1 word: epic!!!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted September 18, 2012

    Fuk

    Fuk

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted January 9, 2010

    Politically incorrect, sexist, highly offensive---and funny as hell.

    Not a book for the sensitive person.

    This book reminds me of Andrew Dice Clay's standup: I'd laugh out loud for the whole thing and then sit in a corner and feel ashamed of myself afterwards.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted January 30, 2009

    I Also Recommend:

    Great book.

    This was a really good book to read in regards to "manliness". It's got crude jokes, stuff about fights and things only guys will really get. I thought it was a great read, all the way through and would recommend it.

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  • Posted October 31, 2008

    Great Book!

    I happen to be looking through a friends bookshelf one evening and came across this one. Before I had a chance to read the back of the cover my friend advised me that I would probably find the book offensive, because I'm a woman. After that being said I decided to take a look at it and emediatley I was hooked. This book is by far the best I have read in a while. It was very entertaining and funny. I didn't find it offensive at all, in fact some of the things the author wrote about woamn are very much true. After growing up with 6 brothers, I thought I knew everything there was to know, but this book showed me that I didn't. I love the authors humor and originality. I believe every guy should have a copy of this book given to him. As for woman, read at your own risk and you really need to have a sense of humor.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted July 20, 2008

    Ridiculous, immature and laugh out loud funny.

    Highly recommended for anyone with a good sense of humor. This book is so ridiculous yet takes itself so seriously that you can't help but laugh out loud the entire time. I was not able to put this book down until I was done reading it. Short but sweet.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 28, 2008

    Hilarious

    It's a great read. Easy, egotistic, raw humor. However, nothing that made me wince. It's a great plane read, bathroom read, wait for the dentist read, in between working read. I even brought it to a family gathering once and we couldn't put it down.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 15, 2007

    Funniest book I've ever read

    I bought this while shopping with my boyfriend. Just the first page alone was hilarious us. I plan to get it for a few of my close guy friends for X-Mas.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 99 Customer Reviews

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