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T F 1. I've had trouble on the job because of my temper. T F 2. I fly off the handle easily. T F 3. I don't always show my anger, but when I do, look out. T F 4. I still get angry when I think of the bad things people did to me in the past. T F 5. Waiting in line really annoys me. T F 6. I often find myself engaged in heated arguments with the people who are close to me. T F 7. I sometimes lie awake at night thinking about the things that upset me during the day. T F 8. When someone says or does something that upsets me, I don't usually say anything at the time, but later I spend a lot of time thinking of cutting replies I could and should have made. T F 9. I find it very hard to forgive someone who has done me wrong. T F 10. I get angry with myself when I lose control of my emotions. T F 11. I get aggravated when people don't behave the way they should. T F 12. If I get really upset about something, I have a tendency to feel sick later (frequently experiencing weak spells, headaches, upset stomach or diarrhea.) T F 13. When things don't go my way, I "lose it." T F 14. I am apt to take frustration so badly that I cannot put it out of my mind. T F 15. I've been so angry at times I couldn't remember what I said or did. T F 16. Sometimes I feel so hurt and alone that I've thought about killing myself. T F 17. After arguing with someone, I despise myself. T F 18. When riled, I often blurt out things I later regret saying. T F 19. Some people are afraid of my bad temper. T F 20. When I get angry, frustrated or hurt, I comfort myself by eating or using alcohol or other drugs. T F 21. When someone hurts me, I want to get even. T F 22. I've gotten so angry at times that I've become physically violent, hitting other people or breaking things. T F 23. At times I've felt angry enough to kill. T F 24. People I've trusted have often let me down, leaving me feeling angry or betrayed. T F 25. I'm an angry person. My temper has already caused lots of problems, and I need help changing it.
Scoring the Anger Self-Assessment Test. If you answered true to 10 or more of these questions, you are prone to anger problems. It's time for a change. If you answered true to 5 questions, you are about average in your angry feelings, but learning some anger management techniques can make you happier.
The Most Important Test. For most men reading this book I suggest that you not spend one second arguing with your wife as to who has the anger problem. One of the purposes of this book is to teach you how never to have an argument with your spouse. Before you get to the section on communication, you can start with a critical practice right now: 1) Find truth in what your wife says. 2) Start your sentence with, "You are right." No "buts" keep your butt out of the way. 3) Repeat 1 and 2.
Now your wife tells you, "You have a horrible anger problem. You have to read this book, Anger Busting 101." The old you might have said, "I have an anger problem? What about you? You are the one who needs to read it." The new you might say, "You are right. I do get angry way too much."
There are many myths about anger that may make it harder for angry men to change their behavior. There also may be a question as to whether you are a real rageaholic. Most men would be glad to find a way to live a happier life and have a happier marriage. There may be some suggestions you can use to achieve those goals. You don't have to decide if you are a rager or how bad of a rager you may be.
In Section I we will address the new ABCs of managing your anger: Abstain, Believe, Communicate. Not all angry men are the same. Section II is designed to help women understand which men can change and which men cannot. It will also help women learn ways to get their man's attention. Section III examines the ABCs for women who are trying to help their men change.
This book is written primarily for angry men and the women who have to suffer them. The principles and techniques discussed in this book can also be applied to make most marriages more rewarding, regardless of the amount of rage in the relationship.