Anger: Taming the Beast


If you or someone you love is experiencing difficulty coping with their anger, this useful and practical book is the first place to turn to for help. With its clear, evenhanded approach, this book will show ...
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If you or someone you love is experiencing difficulty coping with their anger, this useful and practical book is the first place to turn to for help. With its clear, evenhanded approach, this book will show you
o Why you handle anger the way you do, and how to change
o How to manage anger in positive ways
o When anger is a fitting response
o How to express anger appropriately and effectively
o How to handle frustration and resolve conflicts
o How best to cope with stress, embarrassment, and shame
Whether you have an explosive temper or are brooding over suppressed anger, the questionnaires, step-by-step exercises, and strategies outlined in Anger: Taming the Beast will teach you how to change the way you experience and express anger. You will learn how to speak up strongly and effectively, set limits and say no to unreasonable demands, and relate your feelings to others without losing your cool.
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Editorial Reviews

A therapist specializing in anxiety and stress disorders, Peurifoy introduces four composite patients to demonstrate common anger personalities ranging from explosive to suppressive. He explains why and how they get angry, and presents tools for dealing with problems readers see in themselves. Annotation c. Book News, Inc., Portland, OR (
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781568362847
  • Publisher: Kodansha International
  • Publication date: 5/10/1999
  • Pages: 288
  • Product dimensions: 6.25 (w) x 9.50 (h) x 1.02 (d)

Meet the Author

RENEAU Z. PEURIFOY, M.A., M.F.T., is an internationally recognized expert on anxiety and the author of the best-selling Anxiety, Phobias, & Panic. A marriage and family therapist, he designs and conducts programs on anxiety, anger, assertiveness, and stress management. He lives with his wife and two children in California.
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Table of Contents

Author's Note ix
Preface xi
Acknowledgments xiii
1 Where Does the Beast Come From?
Is There a Positive Side to Anger? 2
What Is Anger? 3
How to Get the Most Out of This Book 4
Summary of Key Ideas 5
Recommended Activities 5
2 Facing the Beast
Appropriate vs. Inappropriate Anger 11
Two Roadblocks to Change 12
Abusive Behavior 13
Time-Out 15
Summary of Key Ideas 18
Recommended Activities 19
3 The Nature of the Beast
What Are Emotions? 26
Three Common Myths about Anger 29
How Anger Is Expressed 31
Learn to Recognize the Different Forms of Anger 32
Summary of Key Ideas 34
Recommended Activities 35
4 Thoughts That Awaken the Beast
Six Common Types of Distorted Thinking 39
A Three-Step Approach to Reducing Distorted Thinking 46
Summary of Key Ideas 49
Recommended Activities 50
5 Stress and the Beast
What Is Stress? 57
Your Body Is a Machine with a Limited Amount of Energy 58
Decompression Routines 59
Managing Times of Excessive Stress 60
Summary of Key Ideas 65
Recommended Activities 66
6 Additional Thoughts That Awaken the Beast
Who's to Blame? 68
Four Common Erroneous Assumptions That Trigger Anger 71
Mind Reading 74
Summary of Key Ideas 75
Recommended Activities 75
7 How the Beast Is Shaped During Childhood
Creating a Record of Your Childhood 85
The Time Tunnel 93
Core Beliefs 94
Summary of Key Ideas 97
Recommended Activities 97
8 When the Beast Is a Ghost from the Past
Cultural Stereotypes 103
The Legacy of a Dysfunctional Family 105
The "What's Happening? What's Real?" Technique 110
Summary of Key Ideas 111
Recommended Activities 112
9 The Beast as Defender
The Motivational Side of Anger 121
Anger as a Psychological Defense Mechanism 123
The Price of Using Anger as a Defense 126
Learning to Experience All Your Emotions 128
Behavior as Coded Messages 132
Summary of Key Ideas 135
Recommended Activities 136
10 Learning New Ways to Resolve Conflicts
Three Styles of Conflict Management 147
Five General Approaches to Resolving Problems and Conflicts 149
Common Erroneous Beliefs about Assertiveness 151
Rights and Responsibilities 153
Hit-and-Run Situations 154
D.E.R. Scripts 156
Summary of Key Ideas 160
Recommended Activities 161
11 More on Conflict Resolution
Five Common Forms of Resistance 164
The Nonnegotiator 173
Becoming an Effective Negotiator 175
A Five-Step Approach for Resolving Conflict 178
Summary of Key Ideas 182
Recommended Activities 183
12 Embarrassment and Shame
Embarrassment 185
Summary Sheets 188
Shame 192
Adding a Spiritual/Existential Dimension to Your Work 195
Summary of Key Ideas 199
Recommended Activities 200
13 Resentment, Envy, and Jealousy
Resentment 203
Envy 209
Jealousy 212
Summary of Key Ideas 215
Recommended Activities 216
14 Managing the Frustrations of Parenting
Children Are Not Miniature Adults 218
Most Things Can Wait 220
Becoming a Source of Encouragement 220
Teachable and Unteachable Times 225
Lower Your Action Point 226
Natural and Logical Consequences 227
Get Out of the "Crime and Punishment" Cycle 229
Sidestepping Power Struggles 230
Suggestions for Very Young Children 233
Summary of Key Ideas 234
Recommended Activities 234
15 Making Peace with Intimacy
Substitutes for Intimacy 237
What Is Intimacy Like? 239
Eight Qualities That Increase Intimacy 240
Four Common Areas of Conflict 250
Summary of Key Ideas 254
Recommended Activities 255
16 On Your Own
Three Plans 262
A Final Word 265
Appendix 1 Guidelines for Selecting a Therapist 267
Appendix 2 Locating a Self-Help Group 271
Supplemental Material 275
Recommended Reading 277
Index 283
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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 19, 2000

    Book Calms Nerves

    I have been trying for months to get help with my anger and then I found this book in the library. I am now court ordered to attend a workshop and they use this book as the basis for their program. Having the book as a guide and a resource has been of great help to me. I am buying this one as soon as I am able. My friends who have children with anger issues are also buying this book. It is an excellent resource tool.

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