Anxious in Love: How to Manage Your Anxiety, Reduce Conflict, and Reconnect with Your Partner


In Anxious in Love, an Imago therapist and a couples therapist present practical relationship tools for people struggling with any anxiety disorder that leaves them feeling disconnected and misunderstood by their partners. These strategies will help readers apply practical tools for healing their anxiety, communicating their needs, and improving their relationships.

Read More Show Less
... See more details below
Paperback (Original)
$11.15 price
(Save 34%)$16.95 List Price

Pick Up In Store

Reserve and pick up in 60 minutes at your local store

Other sellers (Paperback)
  • All (13) from $6.45   
  • New (9) from $9.59   
  • Used (4) from $6.45   
Anxious in Love: How to Manage Your Anxiety, Reduce Conflict, and Reconnect with Your Partner

Available on NOOK devices and apps  
  • NOOK Devices
  • Samsung Galaxy Tab 4 NOOK 7.0
  • Samsung Galaxy Tab 4 NOOK 10.1
  • NOOK HD Tablet
  • NOOK HD+ Tablet
  • NOOK eReaders
  • NOOK Color
  • NOOK Tablet
  • Tablet/Phone
  • NOOK for Windows 8 Tablet
  • NOOK for iOS
  • NOOK for Android
  • NOOK Kids for iPad
  • PC/Mac
  • NOOK for Windows 8
  • NOOK for PC
  • NOOK for Mac
  • NOOK for Web

Want a NOOK? Explore Now

NOOK Book (eBook)
$10.49 price
(Save 24%)$13.95 List Price


In Anxious in Love, an Imago therapist and a couples therapist present practical relationship tools for people struggling with any anxiety disorder that leaves them feeling disconnected and misunderstood by their partners. These strategies will help readers apply practical tools for healing their anxiety, communicating their needs, and improving their relationships.

Read More Show Less

Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher

“Anxiety is, without doubt, the greatest enemy faced by couples, and its regulation is the most challenging and important achievement in marital happiness. The authors describe this crucial dilemma with deep and profound clarity and its resolution in clear instructions and exercises. Every couple who follows this path will end up in the kingdom of marital bliss. As the authors say, practice leads to permanence. I recommend this book not only to all couples, but also to all couples therapists. It will make their work with couples less anxious!”

—Harville Hendrix, PhD, author of Getting the Love You Want and coauthor of Receiving Love with Helen LaKelly Hunt, PhD

Anxious in Love brings help for anxiety disorders into new territory, revealing how it can affect both partners in a relationship and endanger the well-being of their connection. In a compassionate, step-by-step strategy, the anxiety disorder is first managed, and then mastered using both behavioral and psychological tools. Ultimately these practices are woven into an effective program for couples to use—one that empowers both partners to calm the inner and outer effects of anxiety on their relationship and maintain a quality connection. Anxious in Love is an invaluable resource and guide for anyone suffering from an anxiety disorder or anyone in a relationship with someone who suffers from anxiety.”

—Eleanor Payson, LMSW, author of The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists

“Anxiety, phobias, compulsions, and social avoidance can erode and even destroy relationships. Anxious in Love gives you the tools to decrease, manage, and even eliminate your excessive anxiety (or to understand your anxious partner). After reading the simple but powerful methods in the book, I am confident you'll be anxious to try them and will feel better right away.”

—Bill O'Hanlon, author of The Change Your Life Book and Rewriting Love Stories

“Above all, therapists should not overlook the great advantage of prescribing Anxious in Love as a workbook for patients to use in tandem with ongoing psychotherapy. Its use will help patients get more out of their therapy by promoting self-awareness and self-reliance, as well as expanding self-care for stabilization, boundary development, and affect management.”

—Claire Frederick, MD, coauthor of Inner Strengths and Healing the Divided Self

“This book is written primarily for people suffering from anxiety, but also for their partners. . . . There is a wide range of specific exercises for readers to try, so they can find what works best to reduce the overall anxiety level, recognize emotional and physical triggering experiences so the anxious reaction can be prevented, and perhaps most importantly, to learn to be calm, not merely avoiding the anxiety. . . . The authors bring multiple human examples from their decades of clinical experience, simple assessments, and many practical exercises. They create a light and reassuring mood with a genuine concern to assist healing. . . . Anyone suffering from the potentially crippling fallout from any of the potentially crippling experiences of anxiety is likely to have significant benefit from actively engaging with this book.”

—Robert B. McNeilly, MBBS, CET, director of the Milton H. Erickson Institute of Tasmania

Publishers Weekly
Here's a self-help book for the truly anxious, not nail-biters but those whose level of fear or anxiety is debilitating and "disproportionate to the situation." Psychologists Daitch and Lorberbaum provide a brief overview of anxiety disorders, ranging from phobias to obsessive compulsive disorders to post-traumatic stress disorders-often associated with combat but also linked to violent crimes and the aftermath of "a loved one's death." First, the authors attempt to help readers understand their reactions through helpful self-assessment quizzes, then offer corresponding exercises to reduce anxiety. Next, the authors offer ways to understand what each partner can do to prevent or reduce anxiety and increase compassion. For example, to one partner a flooded kitchen is an inconvenience, but to the partner with OCD, it's an incomprehensible challenge. While there's plenty of therapy-speak in the book (validating your partner, practicing "attunement"), the authors provide realistic and empathetic approaches, and easy-to-follow advice for anxiety-laden individuals and their partners. Daitch and Lorberbaum emphasize that "practice makes permanent," and couples willing to make such a commitment will benefit from this book.
(c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved.
Read More Show Less

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781608822317
  • Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
  • Publication date: 12/1/2012
  • Edition description: Original
  • Pages: 208
  • Sales rank: 478,529
  • Product dimensions: 5.90 (w) x 8.90 (h) x 0.60 (d)

Meet the Author

Carolyn Daitch, PhD, is a licensed psychologist and certified Imago relationship therapist. She is the author of Affect Regulation Toolbox and Anxiety Disorders: The Go to Guide for Clients and Therapists. She is also a contributing author in Clinical Pearls of Wisdom: 21 Leading Therapists Offer Their Key Insights and Ten Commandments for Couples. She specializes in treating anxiety disorders; trains health professionals internationally on hypnosis, anxiety disorders, affect regulation, and relationship therapy; and is the director of the Center for the Treatment of Anxiety Disorders in Farmington Hills, MI. Dr. Daitch lives in West Bloomfield, MI.

Lissah Lorberbaum, MA, holds a master’s degree in clinical psychology with a specialization in somatic psychology and treats affect dysregulation across a wide range of clientele. She lives and works in Los Angeles, CA.

Read More Show Less

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments v

Introduction 1

Part 1 Dialing Down Distress

1 Understanding Your Anxiety 9

2 Recognizing Your Anxiety Triggers and Plugging the Dam 41

3 Lowering Your Baseline Level of Anxiety: The Daily Stress Inoculation 67

Part 2 Connecting with the One You Love

4 Understanding Your Partner 89

5 Changing How You Handle Conflict 107

6 Increasing Compassion, Empathy, and Connection 125

Part 3 Taking It to the Next Level

7 Moving toward Healthy Interdependence 145

8 The Wise Relationship 161

9 Maintaining the Fruits of Your Labor 171


A Tips for Nonanxious Partners 179

B Exercise for Nonanxious Partners-Soften Judgment, Access Appreciation 183

C Anxious in Love The Book in Sixty Seconds 187

E Resources 189

References 197

Read More Show Less

Customer Reviews

Be the first to write a review
( 0 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star


4 Star


3 Star


2 Star


1 Star


Your Rating:

Your Name: Create a Pen Name or

Barnes & Review Rules

Our reader reviews allow you to share your comments on titles you liked, or didn't, with others. By submitting an online review, you are representing to Barnes & that all information contained in your review is original and accurate in all respects, and that the submission of such content by you and the posting of such content by Barnes & does not and will not violate the rights of any third party. Please follow the rules below to help ensure that your review can be posted.

Reviews by Our Customers Under the Age of 13

We highly value and respect everyone's opinion concerning the titles we offer. However, we cannot allow persons under the age of 13 to have accounts at or to post customer reviews. Please see our Terms of Use for more details.

What to exclude from your review:

Please do not write about reviews, commentary, or information posted on the product page. If you see any errors in the information on the product page, please send us an email.

Reviews should not contain any of the following:

  • - HTML tags, profanity, obscenities, vulgarities, or comments that defame anyone
  • - Time-sensitive information such as tour dates, signings, lectures, etc.
  • - Single-word reviews. Other people will read your review to discover why you liked or didn't like the title. Be descriptive.
  • - Comments focusing on the author or that may ruin the ending for others
  • - Phone numbers, addresses, URLs
  • - Pricing and availability information or alternative ordering information
  • - Advertisements or commercial solicitation


  • - By submitting a review, you grant to Barnes & and its sublicensees the royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable right and license to use the review in accordance with the Barnes & Terms of Use.
  • - Barnes & reserves the right not to post any review -- particularly those that do not follow the terms and conditions of these Rules. Barnes & also reserves the right to remove any review at any time without notice.
  • - See Terms of Use for other conditions and disclaimers.
Search for Products You'd Like to Recommend

Recommend other products that relate to your review. Just search for them below and share!

Create a Pen Name

Your Pen Name is your unique identity on It will appear on the reviews you write and other website activities. Your Pen Name cannot be edited, changed or deleted once submitted.

Your Pen Name can be any combination of alphanumeric characters (plus - and _), and must be at least two characters long.

Continue Anonymously

    If you find inappropriate content, please report it to Barnes & Noble
    Why is this product inappropriate?
    Comments (optional)