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Apocalypse Cow

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Overview

If you think you've seen it all — WORLD WAR Z, THE WALKING DEAD— you haven't seen anything like this. From the twisted brain of Michael Logan comes Apocalypse Cow, a story about three unlikely heroes who must save Britain . . . from a rampaging horde of ZOMBIE COWS!

 

Forget the cud. They want blood.

 

It began with a cow that just wouldn't die. It would become an epidemic ...

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Apocalypse Cow

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Overview

If you think you've seen it all — WORLD WAR Z, THE WALKING DEAD— you haven't seen anything like this. From the twisted brain of Michael Logan comes Apocalypse Cow, a story about three unlikely heroes who must save Britain . . . from a rampaging horde of ZOMBIE COWS!

 

Forget the cud. They want blood.

 

It began with a cow that just wouldn't die. It would become an epidemic that transformed Britain's livestock into sneezing, slavering, flesh-craving four-legged zombies.

 

And if that wasn't bad enough, the fate of the nation seems to rest on the shoulders of three unlikely heroes: an abattoir worker whose love life is non-existent thanks to the stench of death that clings to him, a teenage vegan with eczema and a weird crush on his maths teacher, and an inept journalist who wouldn't recognize a scoop if she tripped over one.

 

As the nation descends into chaos, can they pool their resources, unlock a cure, and save the world?

 

Three losers.

Overwhelming odds.

One outcome . . .

 

Yup, we're screwed.

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Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly
Journalist Logan’s humorous, gory debut explores the unique challenges of a zombie plague that starts with Britain’s herd animals. The narrative is shared by Terry Borders, the only survivor of a slaughterhouse destroyed by rampaging zombie cows; Lesley McBrien, a second-rate journalist with information she shouldn’t have; and Geldof Peters, a bullied teenager saddled with parentally enforced veganism. As the story brings them all together, electricity fails, martial law reigns, and people experience the best and worst of one another—mostly the worst. While some of the internal logic doesn’t click as well as it might and the villain is straight out of central casting, Logan has a flair for unique description (“a muscled chest that made Arnold Schwarzenegger’s pecs look like burst balloons”) and for painting a mental picture almost photographic in its clarity. An impressive start for an author who’s going places. (May)
From the Publisher
"Apocalypse Cow treads that rare path between horrific and hilarious, which makes for a very fun read indeed. Give it a go." —Christopher Moore, author of Lamb, Fool, and A Dirty Job

 

"Apocalypse Cow made me snort with laughter." — Terry Pratchett, author of the award-winning and bestselling Discworld novels

 

"Logan has a flair for unique description (“a muscled chest that made Arnold Schwarzenegger’s pecs look like burst balloons”) and for painting a mental picture almost photographic in its clarity. An impressive start for an author who’s going places." - Publishers Weekly

"This clever and very funny twist on the traditional zombie novel is exceedingly well executed (it approaches but never quite steps into parody territory), and it ends with a scene that pretty much demands a sequel. Great stuff for horror and fantasy fans." - booklist, starred review "Apocalypse Cow is a promising first novel, with a challenging premise that will be hard to top, so it'll be interesting to see what he has lined up next. Perhaps something equally horrifying (and hilarious) for the vegetarian set." - Rue Morgue

Kirkus Reviews
"Two legs bad," might be the borrowed motto of the titular monsters of this apocalyptic look at the end of the world--were the great beasts not busy trying to kill everybody. Scottish journalist Logan stays rather deadpan in his absurdist debut, even as the animals on which we depend turn the tables on us. He is, however, quite deliberate in the creation of his deeply disturbed cast. Much of this Glasgow-based tale is seen through the eyes of British teen Geldof Peters, a boy saddled not only with the world's most awkward given name, but also vegan hippie parents who foist things like hemp clothing upon him. Even sadder is slaughterhouse veteran Terry Borders, who believes the stench of death upon him is driving away the ladies. To jump-start the lurching plot, Logan introduces ineffectual journalist Lesley McBrien, who is competing both with her nemesis Colin Drummond and the reputation of her war correspondent father. When a secretive plot to develop a bioweapon to disrupt the food chain goes awry, the motley crew must get nimble to unravel the story, outrace the predators and escape the island. Lesley manages to ferret out the details of the story, while Terry discovers that his death-tinged aura is largely a product of his own anxiety. In one of many twists on the genre, the disease--which quickly spreads to all the other animal species--also inspires rather explicit lust as well as murderous rages. The addition of a relentless, murderous spook named Alastair Brown only ratchets up the graphic horror. There are a few funny lines, but it's more straight-laced than you might expect. Despite a generous accolade from Discworld creator Terry Pratchett, who bestowed the inaugural Terry Pratchett Prize upon it, this zombie adventure inspires more gasps than laughs.
Library Journal
After an engineered virus gets loose in the cow population of Glasgow, it spreads and turns even beloved household pets into slavering monsters in this hilariously absurd take on the zombie genre. The animals mindlessly attack humans throughout Britain, and soon the countryside is awash in corpses and the UK is under quarantine. Survivors include slaughterhouse worker Terry, inept journalist Lesley, and gangly teen Geldof, whose mother is a militant vegan. These misfits are fleeing not only man-eating livestock but also forces that are determined to cover up the government's involvement in the virus's origin. The action slows a little in the middle but picks back up as the group race to get the evidence out of the country. VERDICT The author has wisely chosen to play this story for laughs, and it is very funny indeed in that deadpan British way that shows why it won the inaugural Terry Pratchett Prize for a First Novel.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781250032867
  • Publisher: St. Martin's Press
  • Publication date: 5/21/2013
  • Edition description: Reprint
  • Pages: 352
  • Sales rank: 474,559
  • Product dimensions: 5.60 (w) x 8.26 (h) x 0.92 (d)

Meet the Author

MICHAEL LOGAN is a Scottish journalist whose career has taken him across the globe. He left Scotland in 2003 and has lived in Bosnia, Hungary, Switzerland and Kenya, where he is currently based with his wife and two young children. His short fiction has appeared in various literary journals, and a (very) short story of his won Fish Publishing's International One-Page Fiction Prize.

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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4.5
( 27 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star

(19)

4 Star

(3)

3 Star

(2)

2 Star

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1 Star

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See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 27 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted August 8, 2014

    STOP!!!

    This is not a chatroom!!!!!!! Say something helpful like 'i love this book. Its really funny.''

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 20, 2014

    Fairly good

    I scrolled through 23 reviews and not one of them was about the damn book! This book had promise and it was all right but not great. Around 250 pages long, can't remember if there was profanity. Obviously has violence, some sex but I wouldn't call it graphic. Some weed use. Maybe kids would like it better? Sir Terry Pratchett dropped the ball on this one.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 16, 2014

    Arizona

    Tries to put up a fight but falls asleep

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 23, 2014

    How dare....

    How dare u people steal my name. Mr Kolabear is my user name!! Everyone keeps stealing it!! Stop stealing it!!! Plz?? Thks- Mr Kolabear

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 1, 2014

    Olette

    Heyyyyyy

    0 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 30, 2014

    Krambot

    Hello i need a mc pe server. And how to get on one u go to edit then external and vuala wutevr

    0 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 30, 2014

    Sup' Enderman guy

    I saw your thing on bthe MC book. Nice to meet you. I am MaThAcRaP64. Send back to me. Search anime and click on the first book. Thats my chatroom.

    0 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 25, 2014

    Lacy

    Crap..i gtg ill be on tomorrow..love ya buddy

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 22, 2014

    Spike

    Randallcandle

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 3, 2014

    Hy Enderman guy!

    I saw your message on the Mincrat book! My name is BigJ! And This..... is my diamondsword! c++(::::::::::::::::::::::>

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    Posted January 1, 2014

    Maximum ride fanclub

    Sup?

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 27, 2013

    Maximum ride fanclub?

    Helooo where are you

    0 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 1, 2013

    Delta Army members wanted ps thares cake

    Report to SkyDelta20

    0 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 11, 2013

    To applekit

    Yes you may join wolfclan

    ~ Moonstar

    0 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 9, 2013

    Imprealcrafter

    You must be fkn fat and fugly

    0 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 7, 2013

    michethan to Endermen9871

    I know a good seed. I made the nether portal, found the end portal, and found a mineshaft. In a week! But, when I came back up from the mineshaft, first before i say what happens, I had a bunch of animals. So when I got back, they were all gone! I'll tell you the seed sometime soon! Oh and it is on the xbox.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 6, 2013

    beandip202

    Im good at finding iron and diamonds, can i join?

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    Posted November 6, 2013

    Lalal

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 22, 2013

    To below

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 19, 2013

    Amanda

    Is here

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