Apologia Pro Vita Sua (Volume 1); Being a History of His Religious Opinions

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Apologia Pro Vita Sua (Barnes & Noble Digital Library): Being a History of His Religious Opinions

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Overview

Purchase of this book includes free trial access to www.million-books.com where you can read more than a million books for free.
This is an OCR edition with typos.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780217175159
  • Publisher: General Books LLC
  • Publication date: 8/9/2009
  • Pages: 126
  • Product dimensions: 7.44 (w) x 9.69 (h) x 0.27 (d)

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CHAPTER III. HISTORY OF MY RELIGIOUS OPINIONS FROM 1839 TO 1841. And now that I am about to trace, as far as I can, the course of that great revolution of mind, which led me to leave my own home, to which I was bound by so many strong and tender ties, I feel overcome with the difficulty of satisfying myself in my account of it, and have recoiled from the attempt, till the near approach of the day, on which these lines must be given to the world, forces me to set about the task. For who can know himself, and the multitude of subtle influences which act upon him ? And who can recollect, at the distance of twenty-five years, all that he once knew about his thoughts and his deeds, and that, during a portion of his life, when, even at the time, his observation, whether of himself or of the external world, was less than before or after, by very reason of the perplexity and dismay which weighed upon him, when, in spite of the light given to him according to his need amid his darkness, yet a darkness it emphatically was ? And who can suddenly gird himself to a new and anxious undertaking, which he might be able indeed to perform well, were full and calm leisure allowed him to look through every thing that he had written, whether in published works or private letters ? yet again, granting that calm contemplation of the past, in itself so desirable, who could afford to be leisurely and deliberate, while hepractises on himself a cruel operation, the ripping up of old griefs, and the venturing again upon the " infandum dolorem " of years, in which the stars of this lower heaven were one by one going out ? I could not in cool blood, nor except upon the imperious call of duty, attempt what Ihave set myself to do. It is both to head and heart an extreme trial, thus to analyze what has so ...
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